Captain N 2006
by Sigmasonic X
Summary: Nine years after the disappearence of the first Game Master, Kevin Keene, a guy named Jon Jones is sucked into his Gamecube and becomes the newest Game Master. Minichapter 2 has been updated with an important note.
1. A New Game Master DX Version 2

I present to you, Captain N 2004 Level 1.75: A New Game Master MKIII

The symbol "&" will show the thoughts of characters.

"-I" will act as a section break.

"-" has replaced all astericks, which do not show up here.

Dr. Mario, Mario, Toad, Link, Mother Brain, Samus, Eggplant Wizard, and all related characters are © to Nintendo

Kirby, Metaknight, and all related characters are © to HAL Laboratories and Nintendo

Mega Man, Bass, Dr. Wily and all related character are © to Capcom

Jinx, Geno, the Axem Rangers, and all related characters are © to Square-Enix

Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, Dr. Eggman, and all related characters are © Sega

Metallix and all related characters are © Fleetway Comics and Sega

Captain N, Kevin Keene, Princess Lana, and all related characters are © DIC

Jon Jones and all related characters belong to me

All characters not already mentioned belong to their respective owners.

This story is not, in any way, related to other Captain N stories.

Some words, bolds, italics, and more seem to randomly disappear throughout the stories.

-I

INTRODUCTION TO CAPTAIN N

In the late 80s/early 90s, the people at DIC decided to make a show bringing all of the video game characters together under one show. The show would feature 15 year old Kevin Keene, his dog, and his NES controller being sucked into a TV and meeting with the various peoples of "Videoland" under the name Captain N, the Game Master. He could use his controller to freeze time, and he received a "Zapper" laser gun to fight with, but the main gimmick was that he was teamed up with four other characters: Mega Man, of the Mega Man games; Pit, of Kid Icarus; Simon Belmount, of the Castlevania games; and an original character named Princess Lana, ruler of Videoland. This "N-Team" had to battle against the team of Mother Brain, Dr. Wily, Eggplant Wizard, and King Hippo, along with many one-time villains, while at the same time finding a way to get the King of Videoland out of an alternate dimension he was stuck in.

While this is a very good concept, the presentation was lackluster. The episode plots were typical of Saturday Morning Cartoons at that time, and some very odd decisions were made. For example, Mega Man was a green midget with a squeaky voice; Samus Aran NEVER appeared, despite the main villain being Mother Brain, unless you count the comics; the locations of many episodes were from some rather obscure games, and the guest villains were just as obscure; Kevin had his dog go along with him on his missions; and Kevin lost his Zapper pretty much every episode, yelling, "Oh no, my Zapper!" every time. It is often said that this show should be remade, simply because it will always be better than the original.

I will often alter the show's continuity to fit my needs in this story, but I won't do anything real drastic, just making Kevin less silly; making everyone the correct color and have appropriate personalities; etc.

Anyway, on with the show!

-I

-I

It has been nine years since the supposed death of Kevin Keene, Kevin's dog, and Princess Lana. What was the cause of death? No one knows, as no bodies were found. In fact, no one, not even the N-Team, Captain N's teammates, knew exactly how they died or when they disappeared. One day, Mega Man, Simon Belmont, and Pit, members of the N-Team, just woke up in Princess Lana's castle, without either Kevin or the princess. The second-in-command immediately took over.

At this point, Ridley, leader of the Space Pirates, realized that Mother Brain's organization never succeeded with any of its missions, and when Captain N was finally killed, it was due to someone else, so he ceased funding and the organization disbanded. With no major group to fight against, the N-Team saw no point in staying together and went back to their respective worlds.

Unfortunately, due to displeasure over some of the new King's policies, many regions seceded, forming the world of Sega. The rivalry between Sega and Videoland, now known as Nintendo (Videoland is now used to describe the entire video game world), caused great developments in both nations, quite similar to the Cold War. However, a new nation named Sony, which had been formed by citizens of countries ruined by the war between Sega and Nintendo, starting taking over lands, including Sega, forcing many citizens to flee back to Nintendo or the new nation of Microsoft. However, while Sony has recently settled down with its takeovers, everything may not be in equilibrium in the video game world.

-I

-I

Meanwhile, in our world's present, fifteen-year-old Jon Jones was a nerd. He was one ever since he laid his eyes on an older kid playing an NES at a store when he was only 1 year old. While playing sports video games and shooters is supposedly cool, play anything else and you're a nerd, and that's exactly what Jon was. Even today, when video games are becoming increasingly mainstream, game geeks are only a few levels above being a Trekky or a D&Der-. Jon learned to not go crazy when people bought bad games early in life, but he still cringed when he saw someone buy Rugrats: Royal Ransom when Super Mario Sunshine was right next to it. Jon's black hair went halfway down his forehead and was combed to his right, but the rest of his hair seemed to be ignored in the combing process. His skin was surprisingly tan compared to most game nerds, which was not to say that he was tan, just _tanner_. His brown eyes were narrow, a habit he developed as he played video games, giving him a tired appearance, with narrow glasses covering them up, and for a nerd, he had a strangely low amount of zits, but it still enough to scare the girls away. Jon was about 5'7", and while he wasn't what people would consider skinny, he didn't fit the stereotype of the fat game geek. However, like a nerd, you would have a hard time finding muscles anywhere. On that fateful day that this chapter is about, Jon Jones was wearing a blue T-shirt, blue jeans, and black tennis shoes.

-Author's Note: This may or may not be true where you live, but just pretend it is where this part of the story takes place.

It was, at first, like any other day. He woke up early in the morning to perfect his Super Smash Bros. Melee skills, as there was a tournament at the local game store in only a week, but he soon realized that he still didn't finish his homework, so he quickly killed 100 wireframe men in Cruel Melee and got to his assignment. Thankfully, he finished before his parents woke up and saw that his paper was incomplete, so Jon's dad left for work afterwards and Jon ate breakfast with his mom and sister in front of the TV. Following that, Jon left for school on the bus, playing his GBA in a seat by himself. He was annoyed by the fact that the high-schoolers had to share the bus with the middle-schoolers, but he ignored them until the Sixth Graders started inexplicably screaming. Apparently, someone had opened a water bottle and accidentally spilled some on the floor. Jon sighed as he went back to his game.

The bus got to the school and Jon went to his classes. He got his algebra test back, getting a B-, like usual. Jon went to the Video Game Club's room, nicknamed Geek Island, during lunch and socialized with his nerdy friends. During a break, there was a rare instance when a decent-looking girl hit on him, but he blew it by talking to her about how awesome Metroid Prime 2 was going to be. When she ran away, Jon realized that he should have been talking about something else. "&But I already tried movies, cartoons, and comics. What else is there&?" Jon thought.

Being a man of great philosophy, Jon wondered about the mysteries of the universe as he walked to and from classes. "&Why is my backpack so much bigger than everyone else's? Even the people who share all of my classes have smaller ones than me. Why is that? Is it because they use their locker? I thought people in high school didn't use their lockers. I guess they were wrong. I guess I would use my locker if I actually knew where it was. What was my locker number again? B-458206298956650863456995695769562612647? Seriously, it could help if they said where the B lockers are. I must have looked around the entire school for it&."

The school day ended and Jon repeated the bus ride, except it went back to his neighborhood. He stepped out when the bus got to his stop, but someone bumped into him, launching a picture out of his notebook, but the aforementioned guy picked it up for him. The guy, who was much larger than Jon and was wearing a shirt with the phrase "X-Box God", commented, "Whoa, this is pretty cool. What is it?"

"It's a picture of Tengu Man from Mega Man 8," Jon said. "Cool, huh?"

"Mega Man? That kiddy crap! If you want to play a REAL shooting game, get Halo for the X-Box, but since you're immature enough to play 'Mega Kiddy', you'll probably want to get that stupid Legend of Celda: The Wind Breaker game instead!"

"Actually, 'Celda' has a deeper plot than Halo."

"Riiiiiiiiiiiight, you just keep telling yourself that." He seemed to be an X-Box fanboy. To be fair, there is a large difference between X-Box owners and fanboys.

As Jon continued listing Halo's flaws, keeping it clear that he thought it was a good, but overrated game, the Halo fanboy got angry and chased after the nonbeliever with great prejudice. The pursuit lasted a few minutes and the chaser got tired, with the chased following a few seconds later. When he reached his house, his mom, who assumed that the bus broke down that day like usual, told him to do his homework. Instead, he went up to his room and started a new game of Metroid Prime, which he beat in a record time of fifty-seven minutes. "&I never broke the one hour mark before&!" Jon thought as he quickly took a picture of his time and got up to eat dinner. He would break the news to his nerdy friends while he ate dinner, via AIM.

Suddenly, TV screen started shaking and glowing. Jon stared in awe as the TV sucked him in, along with his GameCube and GBA.

**NOW LOADING...**

**LEVEL ONE: Press Start**

**Because people use the word 1337 in real life…**

Jon tumbled through a multicolored tunnel, wildly searching the area for human life. "WTF IS GOING ON!" he yelled. No one answered him. "HELLO! IS ANYONE THERE!" This sort of thing never happened to him before. After a while, his throat dried and he started to calm down about this odd turn of events. He searched his pockets and, to his relief, he pulled out his Game Boy Advance, along with his many games. At this point, he noticed that he had his GameCube controller was in his other pocket, but decided not to think much of it. After playing on his system for a while, Jon noticed a white space in the middle of the colorful tunnel. "&What's that&?" he thought as he shut off his GBA and flew into it.

The next thing Jon knew, he was in a world with green grass and cloudless blue skies. He was at first relieved that he was out of the seizure-fest, but he then noticed that the ground was rushing toward him rather quickly. Before he could scream, the nerd crashed into the earth and was knocked unconscious.

-I

-I

Later…

"Ugh..." Jon managed to squeeze out as he started to get up. He appeared to be in some sort of hospital room.

"Wait! Try-a not to-a move!" said the doctor, who had an Italian accent.

"What?" Jon asked. That voice was familiar. When he saw the doctor's short stature and overly large head, nose, and eyes, Jon jumped back a little on his bed, breathing hard. He now fully understood why animé characters would never work in real life. The problem was, this didn't look like real life.

"Sir-a, it would-a probably-a be best for-a you to just-a lie down," the doctor said. Though Jon was still freaked out by his appearance, he complied. "I'll-a come back after-a a few minutes-a once you-a can figure out what happened-a.

The high-schooler calmed down and decided to start thinking rationally. "&What's going on? Where am I? Was that really Dr. Mario I just saw? How is that possible? I must be in a real hospital and my doctor happened to be an Italian midget... with a deformed face. And that warp-thing was just my imagination. Yeah, that's it. But why am I in the hospital? If I remember correctly, I was just playing Metroid Prime, when I was sucked into my TV. No, that's not what happened. What else then? There was a bright flash of light, so maybe I had a case of epilepsy, like all those Japanese kids during that banned episode of Pokémon with Porygon? But I never had epilepsy before, so why now? I beat Metroid Prime hundreds of times before and the ending never did anything except bore me. Maybe that bright flash was the TV blowing up in my face? Yeah, that's it; the blast probably knocked my head into the wall, explaining why it hurts so much. But what could have caused it to blow up? Meh, I'll just ask Mom and Dad that once they get here. Ugh, my head hurts, I'm sure they won't mind if I have a few aspirins&." Jon got up with some effort and looked at some jars.

"&Super Mushroom Powder? Starman Extract? Blue Potion? Maxim Tomato Sauce? Cup of Lifenoodles? Large Energy Pellets? Strange... ah, here it is, aspirin&!" Jon thought as he opened up the bottle, filled up a cup with water, took out a few aspirins, and swallowed each using the water. He then sat back down and turned on his GBA. "&I wonder if it's a really good idea to play on my GBA with a headache like this? Wait a minute, this isn't where I saved before! I do remember saving here during that warp fantasy, though... Meh, I probably just forgot where I saved and I was reminded of it during that dream, nothing to worry about&."

After a while of playing, the door opened. Expecting the doctor, Jon quickly shut off his game system and lied down, but instead, an anthropomorphic mushroom walked in. Jon stared at him. He walked up to one of the jars, picked it up, and walked out of the door. "&Okay, Jon, that wasn't a toad. That was just one of those male nurses I've heard about. And he's a midget too. The aspirin still needs a while to start working. Okay, when the doctor comes in, just treat him like a normal one. No freaking out&," Jon thought as he waited.

Eventually, the doctor who looked like Dr. Mario came in. "Ah, have you-a come back to-a your-a senses yet?"

"Yeah, I guess. How did I get knocked out?"

"We don't-a know. We just-a found-a you lying in the-a middle of the field-a."

"Field? What was I doing in a field?"

"I-a told you-a, we don't-a know, okie-dokie? We-a think it was-a a fall, though-a, which could-a be caused by-a you going through-a an interregional warp while-a that region is-a being locked-a down. Is-a something happening in-a your region!"

"...What?"

"Your region-a! Is-a something happening in-a your-a region!"

"Region? What do you mean?"

"Hmm-a, you-a seem to be-a showing-a signs of-a Locked Warp-a Sickness. I still-a need-a to make-a sure though-a. What's your-a name?"

"Jon Jones."

"Mr.-a Jones, do you-a recognize-a those-a people?" Dr. Mario said, pointing to a framed picture.

"They're Mario and Luigi."

"What about-a him?"

"Donkey Kong."

"Him-a?"

"Kirby."

"Him-a?"

"Captain Falcon."

"You-a aren't-a just some kid-a trying to-a sneak into-a the King's room? After-a all, your-a name sounds fake-a."

"No, I don't even know what you're talking about!"

"I suppose-a I might-a as well-a have you see-a the King-a. Follow-a me." Dr. Mario walked out of the door and Jon staggered after him with his still-hurt head.

"&This is really starting to disprove my headache theory. Maybe this is all a dream. Maybe I'm lying unconscious in an actual hospital and I'm dreaming all of this. Too bad I can't control my dreams that well. I guess I'll just go with the flow until I wake up. I guess once I get used to it, this is a pretty cool dream. After all, Dr. Mario is leading me across a hallway! And I'm about to meet the King! I wonder if I'll be able to see Mario himself! Those pictures prove that other video game characters live here too! Maybe that's what Dr. Mario went by regions! Each region is a different game world! This is getting really cool! I wonder how they'd react to me being from the Real World&!" Jon thought as he and Dr. Mario went down the various hallways.

-I

-I

MEANWHILE...

"I have to thank you for helping rebuilding me. It would have taken years without your help," a very deep, monotone voice said to a shadowed figure.

"You can thank me by finding some more people, Mother Brain. My plan won't work unless I have enough help," the shaded figure said.

"Ah yes, I've heard about this plan of yours from Lord Ridley. The Space Pirate Organization will offer assistance, but I hope you understand that this quest won't be our main focus and thus, you will receive little help from our troops. We are aware of your importance, but this goal of yours is little good to us, with many worlds here that are still undiscovered. You should be thankful, though, that Lord Ridley even bothered to see you and offer help, and that I, Mother Brain, head computer of the organization, was put in charge of this project instead of someone else," the large brain responded.

"Yes, I understand. Considering that, could it be possible to get help from someone _outside_ of the organization? Preferably someone with a large army."

"I suppose so. I used to work with someone who controlled a large army of robots, Dr. Albert Wily, back during the days of Kevin Keene, if you remember."

"He will do just fine."

-I

-I

BACK AT THE CASTLE…

"Jeez, how big IS this castle? Jon asked Dr. Mario. Though he was convinced that this was all a dream, he was still getting pretty tired.

"Don't-a worry, we're almost-a there!" said the doctor. A few minutes later, they came to a huge door with chains and an eye, which Dr. Mario put a Big Key in, causing it to open.

As the two walked in, Jon looked around the throne room. He saw food, TVs, security cameras, guards, etc., but something was missing. "Where's the King?" Jon asked Dr. Mario. Almost on cue, a black stick figure with a similarly colored cape and crown seemed to appear out of nowhere, turned to the side in a way that made it seem like he had very few sprites and beeped. Since he was a 2-D figure, his thinness made it impossible for him to be seen by the side. "Mr. Game and Watch is the King? And he has Waddle Dee guards," Jon asked.

"Yup-a," Dr. Mario responded.

Dr. Mario then handed Jon a pair of headphones that fit comfortably into his ears, mentioning that he would need it to understand what the King was saying. The doctor was already wearing a pair.

The beeping then transformed into English. "Beep beep beep any reason you came to see me, Doctor?"

"&His first name's Doctor&?" assumed Jones.

"King President, I-a have reasons-a to believe that-a this boy is-a a Game Master!" exclaimed Dr. Doctor Mario.

"&King President&?" thought Jon.

"Really? What kind of rea-" Game and Watch asked.

"&Wait, I remember hearing about a Game Master&," Jon's thoughts interrupted the King. "&Yeah, it was from that 80's show about that kid getting sucked into his TV into the world of video games. That should be familiar. The show was a disgrace to video gamers, though, so I didn't pay much attention. Maybe I'm a new Game Master, to repeat what Dr. Mario said&?"

"-sons?" Game and Watch finished asking.

"He shows signs of Locked Warp Sickness, with the selective memory loss, but he seems to recognize people from various zones, and he doesn't seem to be pretending!"

"There's only one way to make sure. Do you have a controller?"

Jon fished through his pockets and pulled out his Game Cube controller.

"Hmmm... It doesn't look like Kevin's, so there's only one way to make sure it's real," commented the president-king-thing. "... Wait, what's your name? I don't believe you've told us that yet."

Some cheesy heroic music plays as Jon says, "My name is Jon." There is a big close up into his face as he says, "Jon Jones." The chapter then ended.

However, Scorpion from Mortal Kombat then appeared and yelled, "GET OVER HERE!" as he threw a chain, impaled everyone reading, and brought them back in. The chapter wasn't over after all.

"Mr. Jones, press the START button on your controller. If you're really a Game Master, time should freeze when you press it, and if it works, walk to the other side of the room and unfreeze," explained King/President Game and Watch.

"You mean like a Pause?" asked Jon, recalling that ability being used by the main character of the Captain N show.

"Yes, like a pause," answered the stick figure.

Jon pressed the start button. When nothing happened, Game and Watch said, "...Sorry, but you apparently aren't a Game Master. You should know the punishment for pretending to be one. Guards, take him away, but keep the controller incase it's real."

Game and Watch's Waddle Dee guards (with spears) jumped up and started running, though hopping would be a more accurate description, toward Jon, but they suddenly stopped. In mid air. "&What&?" thought Jon. Realizing that the controller worked, Jon walked to the other side of the room and unpaused. Thankfully, the unpause didn't have the same delay. The Waddle Dees crashed into each other and King Game and Watch looked at Jon.

"Hmmm... it seems you are, in fact, a Game Master. I'm sorry for doubting you," commented the King.

"It's okay," the Game Master assured the president.

"It's strange that a controller that seems so much more advanced than Kevin's would have a delay. Perhaps there's more to it?"

"Maybe, but you need to answer some of my questions. Where am I?"

"Your-a in the wonderful world of-a Nintendo!" answered Dr. Mario, who made sure that people didn't forget that he was still there.

"So wait, I was just sucked into my TV and I ended up here?"

"Looks-a like it. Kevin appeared-a in a similar-a fashion-a."

"Wait, who's Kevin? And why is being a Game Master so important?" Jon only had vague memories of the show.

Game and Watch explained, "Kevin Keene was the first Game Master. Game Masters are people, usually around 15 years of age, who know everything there is to know about video games. However, they also posses a special power that allows them to freeze time through use of a controller, and usually have incredible aim. Kevin was a part of a team of already established heroes, including Mega Man, Pit, Simon Belmont, Kevin's dog, and the ruler of Nintendo, Videoland back then, Princess Lana, called the N-Team, and they fought foes across all regions of Nintendo, focusing mainly on the Space Pirate organization, which is much more widespread than you might imagine. Around ten years ago, Kevin, along with Princess Lana, disappeared. Kevin appeared in a similar way to you, except his arrival was expected, due to the fact that they supposedly created a warp to the Real World to get help on purpose. However, it was later discovered that they simply interrupted an already existing warp to the Real World, so something was already bringing Kevin into this world. There are several theories about this, but nothing has been proven yet, though it isn't hard to guess that the same force brought you here. You are obviously wondering how to get back, right?"

"I guess," Jon replied. It didn't occur to him that he might not be able to get back to the conscious world until now. This dream felt too real for a normal dream.

"The legends state that there exists a special gate called the Ultimate Warp Gate that allows a person to travel into the Real World."

"Do you have any idea where the warp is?" Jon asked.

"Nope-a," said Dr. Mario.

"Does this universe's time go at the same pace as the Real World's?"

"Yup-a"

"And do you realize that this world is used for entertainment in Real Life, but you don't care!"

"Yup-a. Just-a because we are entertainment in-a the Real World doesn't change-a the fact that that we live here and have-a lives. Not-a all of our adventures are shown in your world!"

"I think I should leave you alone for a while so you can soak this all in. For now, you can stay in one of the guest bedrooms," Game and Watch said as he looked through a cabinet and pulled out a capsule, throwing it onto the floor. It exploded, creating a strange spiraling patch of red and blue light on its side. "Jump in to reach your room, and if you get hungry, there is a cabinet full of labeled capsules. One leads to the kitchen. Once you leave, a capsule leading back here will be placed in your pocket, and likewise, a capsule back to your room will appear in your pocket once you leave it through the warp. By the way, remember to meet me back here tomorrow afternoon. I'll break the news about the new Game Master to my cabinet members!"

Jon stepped in and it brought him to a large bedroom, like the King said. Jon wasted no time in finding the television and turned it on in order to find out what video game characters watched.

"And-a remember kids, clean-a is better than-a dirty, and dirty is-a meaner than clean!" Mario said, ending the public service announcement.

-I

-I

**OVERWORLD: PLANET SR388 REMAINS...**

(This location-thing will be explained later)

"It's nice that you're meeting an old employer, BUT DID YOU HAVE TO BRING ME ALONG!" a black-armored robot named Bass yelled at his creator, Dr. Wily.

"Be quiet! We've needed money ever since the government learned how to tell the difference between Crystal Man's crystals and real ones!" Dr. Wily responded as he flew a larger version of his UFO toward a Space Pirate ship. "Besides, it would be nice to actually work together, instead of you running around in a rather psychotic manner after Mega Man.

"Ohhhhhhhhh, working with an idiot like you would bring me SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much joy," the robot that wasn't a fish sarcastically said.

"I'm beginning to regret building you in the first place."

"Hey! At least I stole plans for that 'Mega Man X' robot Light's making so you can make that girly red robot you always wanted to make. What was his name again? She-ro?"

"His name is 'Zero'! Hey, we're here!"

"Oh, goody!" Bass said as he rolled his eyes.

**DUNGEON: SPACE PIRATE MOTHER SHIP...**

Dr. Wily landed his UFO in the ship's docking bay and they went inside, but not before Wily put on a space suit. Most of the defense systems were deactivated, but the outer areas didn't fill up with oxygen yet.

"Huh?" Bass said. He obviously saw something.

"SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" screeched a jellyfish alien as it grabbed onto Wily's helmet.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!" yelled Bass.

"It's a metroid! Quick! Use your Blizzard Blast before it pierces through my helmet and sucks out all of my energy!" Wily said in a panicked voice and started running around in circles screaming. After a few missed blasts, Bass finally froze it off, and they continued. When they entered a large room with lava pools and deactivated cannons, Wily took off his helmet.

"Jeez, this place is dirtier than Dustman's room!" Bass commented," And why the hell is there a giant brain here?"

"Welcome, Wily. I see you have brought a visitor," Mother Brain said.

"...Whoa! It talks! Let's see what Astro Man thinks about this!" Bass exclaimed as he took a picture of Mother Brain.

"Wily, I trust that you know what to do?"

"Do... Oh right, invade the King's Castle?"

"Remember, the invasion is only a distraction for when we take the _map cartridge_. However, you must do it today, and use a robot master that could remove the safe without touching the lasers!"

"Why today? " asked Wily. "I'm a very busy man, you know!"

"Then I suppose I'll just pay someone else to do this job. We can't waste Space Pirate troops on such a mission, but I could always go to Dr. Eggman for this..."

"Okay, I'll do it today! I already have a fleet armed and ready anyway... But why do I have to do it today?"

"It appears that somehow, a new Game Master came to this world-"

"A NEW GAME MASTER! WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN!"

"Just yesterday. We have to attack today because he has yet to go through training and he hasn't gathered an N-Team."

"Take over the King's Castle?" Bass asked," Perhaps I underestimated your old job."

-I

-I

THE NEXT DAY AT THE CASTLE

Jon Jones woke up and turned on the TV, eating some breakfast... and stuff. He also took a bath, changed his clothes, etc. This was unheard of in Nintendo. And thankfully, it wasn't heard of again, as Jon's new suit always kept him clean, removing the need of bathes; injected nanobots to disintegrate all waste products, removing the need for a bathroom; injected stimulant that stimulates the hair, removing the need for gel; gave Jon the ability to recover energy from eating and going back to max stats when he sleeps; and other stuff. There was nothing on TV but some B movies that happened to have video games, so he went down to the Throne Office, via warp. He landed in front of the door.

"Welcome, Game Master!" said a Waddle Dee guard. "Unfortunately, the King is out, so he sent a replacement."

"What kind of replacement?" asked Jon.

"Just jump into the warp," the Waddle Dee answered as he threw down a warp. Jon hesitantly stepped in, to find himself in an place similar to those areas where Bowser Jr. would steal FLUDD in Super Mario Sunshine, with the funky remix of the upperworld Super Mario Bros. theme. It was a very large, open, groundless area with several large objects and platforms floating on the air.

Now, sometimes during the story, I'll put a musical cue for some events. That means that the song of music piece listed should be playing or be going through your mind. However, feel free to ignore it. Also, don't worry, these musical cues aren't very common.

**"The Funky (I Think It's Called Capeorci Or Something Like That) Remix of the SMB Upperworld Theme From SM Sunshine"**

"Welcome Game Master! Would you like to learn how to use your controller?" said Toad, who just walked in from the left. Two buttons appeared in front of Jon: one saying, "YES", and the other saying, "NO".

"Where did that music come from?"

Toad stood there tapping his foot impatiently.

"Oh, right. Not re-"

"DON'T TALK, DAMMIT!"

Jon had a look of surprise, as any man would after being yelled at by a talking mushroom. He pressed "NO".

"Are you sure? These skills could really help you! So will you learn?"

Jon chose "NO" again.

"Are you sure? These skills could really help you! So will you learn?"

"You alread-"

"NO SPEAKING, DAMN YOU!"

Jon, after a pause, chose "NO" again.

"Are you sure? These skills could reall-"

Jon, with a sigh, interrupted Toad by choosing "YES"

"Great, let's get started! First of all, press the pause button to freeze time!"

"I already know th-"

Jon stood there confused by how someone could say "!", but he eventually pressed PAUSE. After a few seconds, which now featured a ticking sound that Jon never noticed before, all of the moving platforms stopped in their tracks. Strangely enough, Toad kept moving.

"Great! You may notice the platforms have stopped moving. This is very useful, as it will also freeze your opponents."

"How are you still moving?"

"Though you aren't supposed to talk, I will explain how. You may have noticed how in Super Mario RPG, when I explain a minigame, t-"

"Time suddenly freezes! Thus, you have the ability to freeze time!"

" :mad: "

Though Jon was confused by how Toad could say five exclamation points, he was even more baffled by how Toad could say an emoticon.

"Now, soon before you appeared, some of the guards discovered an 'E-Card'. When you appeared, we realized that it might have something to do with that slit with a large E on the back of your controller."

Jon looked at the back of his controller in surprise. He assumed that it looked like it always did, not for it to have fused with his GBA's E-Reader. "Where is it?" asked Jon.

Suddenly, eight small castles popped up in various places in the funky world they were in. "There are eight castles, each with one of my relatives. One of them has the E-Card, and in order to reach the castles, you must skillfully use your PAUSE to cross the platforms. Don't worry about falling, because a lakitu will pick you up if you do. GO!"

**End "The Funky (I Think It's Called Capeorci Or Something Like That) Remix of the SMB Upperworld Theme From SM Sunshine"**

Jon walked up to a platform, paused, and got on it. He found that only the first platform needed to be PAUSED. After a few more platforms, he reached the castle.

"I'm sorry, but the E-Card is in another castle," the Toad there said.

Jon went through some more platforms and came to another castle.

"I'm sorry, but the E-Card is in another castle," the Toad there said.

After the second castle, Jon thought, "This is taking way to long. Wait... of course!" Jon then jumped into the bottomless pit, forcing a lakitu to pick him up. However, when he climbed onto the cloud, he pushed the lakitu off and took control of it. Thankfully, the lakitu landed on one of the platforms... what, did you expect me to kill it? I'm not that cruel! Anyway, Jon went to the other castles using the cloud, and at the last one...

"Yes, we have your E-Card! Get your weapons ready!" said the Toad as he gave Jon the E-Card. Suddenly, a large message saying, **"MINIGAME COMPLETED! YOU GOTTEN...THE E-CARD! Slide it through your E-Reader and see what happens!"** popped up it front of the bewildered Game Master. He was too startled to see what the first part said before it disappeared, so he only read it from, "THE E-CARD!" on. Jon looked at the picture on the E-Card, which featured something that he instantly recognized: The NES's Light Gun. And sure enough, when he slid it through, the controller glowed and morphed into a classic Light Gun. However, instead of a trigger, there were two buttons, along with a third on the top. Suddenly, there was a flash and he found himself back with the first Toad.

**"The Funky (I Think It's Called Capeorci Or Something Like That) Remix of the SMB Upperworld Theme From SM Sunshine"**

"Good job! Now let's see how it works!" said the Toad. "Press the large green button labeled 'A'."

Jon did that and a red beam of light flew out.

"Pressing A will shoot out a weak blast of light. Why don't you try pressing B?"

Jon, again, did that and a bunch of small red orbs started flying into the gun and after a few seconds, a thick red beam of light flew out.

"Pressing B will shoot a stronger blast of energy, but it must first power up. Now, the START button seems to be moved to the top, so try pressing it."

Jon did and the Light Gun morphed back into a controller.

"Pressing START will-"

"I kn-"

"**NO TALKING, DAMMIT!** Anyway, let's practice your aim," Toad said as five moving bulls-eyes popped up. Jon transformed his controller into the Light Gun and shot them effortlessly.

"I guess all of those hours of playing Duck Hunt from a distance paid off," commented a **o0'd** Jon.

"With gun skills like that, why didn't you become a hired gunman?"

"Game guns and real guns are different. Real guns are heavier and recoil when used, and they have an entirely different feel... or at least I guess they do..."

**End "The Funky (I Think It's Called Capeorci Or Something Like That) Remix of the SMB Upperworld Theme From SM Sunshine"**

"Trust me, they do. Whelp, my work's done. Bye," Toad said as he threw a capsule at Jon, which exploded and sent Jon back to his room. Thus, he watched some TV, played on his GBA, and slept, sometimes at the same time... which is pretty much my Winter Break summed up in three phrases. However, he eventually decided to go downstairs.

Jon walked around, having no idea where he was going, but he eventually noticed a deactivated MechaKoopa, a robotic Koopa Troopa, with a coin slot in his forehead and a sign saying, "Insert ten (10) coins for tour. Insérez dix (10) coins pour l'excursion. Inserte diez (10) coins para el viaje. ?10 (10) coins ?."

Jon, assuming that meant ten quarters, fished some out of his pocket and put them in the MechaKoopa. However, the robot yelled, "Only coins are accepted for this tour!" and repeated it in several different languages as he spat out the quarters.

"&Oh, that's what he meant by coins. Now where can I get some coins&?" Jon thought.

Jon noticed a nearby machine that would exchange currency. He put in his ten quarters and got back ten coins. "&Dollars must exist here in Nintendo, and I guess there are four coins to a dollar&," Jon thought as he put the coins in the MechaKoopa and it started up.

"Welcome to our tour of the Presidential Castle in the Main Region. Please follow me," it said as it started walking away. Jon followed. Suddenly, a bunch of tourists who were just standing around followed him too, after putting in their own coins. This made Jon the nerd uncomfortable. They went through almost of the rooms in the three story castle with a basement. The first floor had guest reception, the kitchen, the dining hall, Dr. Mario's office, etc. The second floor had more personal things, such as a reading room, a meeting room, bedrooms, guest bedrooms, etc. The third floor featured the defense system controls and the miniature golf course. The basement contained the plumbing, electrical, etc., and some very important items, so the tour didn't actually go down there. Eventually, the tour led outside. It was now dark and you could clearly see the stars. "...And that concludes this part of the tour. Any questions?"

The tourists asked very stupid questions. I won't go into detail, because I don't feel like making fun of tourists.

"&...Is it just me, or do the stars look really strange&?" Jon thought. The stars were red, blue, purple, and seemed to be pretty close compared to Real World stars. He decided not to think much of it.

-I

-I

It was night and the tour of the castle had ended. Jon was about to walk back into the castle when a hard hat fell in front of him. "Wha?" said Jon.

**"Heat Man's Theme From Mega Man 2 (or the Remix From Mega Man: the Power Fighters)"**

The hard hat popped up, revealing a Metool, which shot a blast at the surprised Game Master. He jumped out of the way and shot a blast at the unsuspecting Metool, making it blow up.

"What's a Metool doing here?" Jon asked himself. He saw the gardeners looking up and running into the castle, so he looked up himself to find a huge skull-shaped ship dropping enemies. "&It must be Dr. Wily&!" He saw some enemies being dropped down, so he decided to shoot them while they were in the air. Cannons appeared out of the sides of the castle, firing both Bullet and Banzai Bills. The Bills tore through the robots and seemed to be doing decent damage to the ship.

"&I guess they can take care of the ship themselves. I better go inside&," Jon thought as he did what he said.

**End "Heat Man's Theme From Mega Man 2 (or the Remix From Mega Man: the Power Fighters)"**

As soon as he came in, he noticed that there were robots inside, too. A whale robot from Mega Man 8 fired some bird enemies at Jon, but he briskly shot at them using his Light Gun before they could fire their fans. He then shot a B-Blast at the whale itself, making a direct hit, and the whale dropped an ice cube onto the ground. A nearby Sniper Joe kicked it to the Game Master, but Jon quickly jumped out of the way and shot at him. The Sniper Joe blocked it with his shield and shot a plasma blast at the nerd, but Jon ducked and it barely whizzed over his head. Suddenly, a third robot crashed into him from behind, hurting him legs and causing him to fall over. "&There must have been a penguin robot in the ice cube&, Jon thought. The Sniper Joe tossed a grenade to Jon and ducked, but Jon picked up the grenade and threw it back. The grenade blew up, but it didn't destroy the robot. On the ground, Jon rapidly shot the penguin until it exploded and he struggled to get up, since his legs were still hurt from when the penguin crashed into him. The whale shot out some more birds and Jon decided to press PAUSE. However, during the delay, one of the bird's fans cut Jon's right arm. Time paused right after that and Jon kneeled over in pain. After lying there for a while, he ran to look for some scissors and running water, clutching his arm. He found scissors in a cabinet and used it to cut off part of the window drapes, and he found water in an already-on faucet and put the cloth through it. The Game Master wrapped the cloth around his wound tightly and tied it up.

At this point, Jon noticed that the fan, which flew past him, was about to explode when time paused and he got an idea. He walked back into the room with the robot and positioned the fan right next to one of the birds. The fan stayed in the air due to time being frozen. Jon tried to move the birds, along with the fans, near the whale so that the explosion would harm it too, making sure not to use his right arm, but he found that he couldn't move them. "I guess I can't move robots," he thought, and instead positioned the fans next to the birds. Jon then tried to open the door out of the room, but a sign similar to the one when he got the E-Card popped up, saying:

**"YOU NEED TO DESTROY ALL OF THE ENEMIES TO UNLOCK THE DOOR!"**

Jon sighed. "&Hmm, I wonder if I can shoot while time is frozen&." Jon slid his E-Card through his controller, but when it transformed, time unpaused, and the fans destroyed the birds. The Game Master quickly shot at the Sniper Joe, destroying it, and rapidly shot at the whale, also destroying it. With this, the door opened to the music that plays when doors are opened in The Legend of Zelda games. Jon walked through and made his way down the hallway, trying to remember where Dr. Mario's office was. He came across a few Metools, but he easily took care of them. Eventually, he found Dr. Mario's office and ran to the door to find that it was locked. "Dr. Mario, are you okay?" Jon asked.

"Jon-a? Is that-a you?" Dr. Mario asked.

"Yeah."

The door unlocked and Dr. Mario opened it. "Jon, get in-a here quick-a!"

Jon walked in and the door slammed shut. "Dr. Mario, do you have anything I could use to heal this?" Jon asked, pointing to his arm wound.

"Of-a course!" Dr. Mario said as he pulled out a Mushroom. Jon ate it and he found that his wound turned into a small paper cut, so he removed the cloth.

"Why isn't anyone from another region coming to help?"

"They-a can't! This-a region is-a locked!"

"Locked?"

"During-a invasions, the invaders usually-a lock that region-a to prevent-a anyone from-a helping. This-a is why, for-a example, no one-a comes to help-a when Dr.-a Eggman is invading-a M-Earth-a or when-a Princess Peach-a is kidnapped by-a Bowser or-a right now. By the-a way, you-a really need-a to go into-a the-a basement!"

"Why the basement? Wouldn't it be more important to protect the King?"

"Don't-a worry about-a him, he's-a very well protected-a. However, I've-a been hearing explosions-a in-a the basement, and-a there are-a many important items-a down-a there! Take some-a Mushrooms with-a you, but-a remember, they aren't-a much good for-a large wounds-a!"

"Uh... okay..." Jon said as he grabbed four Mushrooms and shoved them into his pocket. He didn't realize then that he could have put them inside his Game Boy Advance. He then ran out of the room and tried to figure out where the entrance to the basement was.

-I

-I

After a few minutes, Jon found a map, similar to the ones in malls, and headed toward the basement entrance. When he got to it, he found that it was now a smoking hole. "&I guess Dr. Mario was right about the explosions. The door must have been locked&," he thought as he gathered up his courage and walked in. Above him, Jon noticed a message appearing above him, similar to the one when he got the E-Card.

**"DUNGEON: CASTLE BASEMENT..."**

**"Creepy Dungeon Music From A Random RPG (I'm Not Exactly An Expert At RPGs)"**

"&Dungeon? I hope there aren't any random battles...&" Jon thought as he went down the stairs. He eventually decided to pause and went down the hallway with everything frozen around him and came to another blown up door. Continuing on, he found more holes like that, until he reached a white room with tables covered with chemical-filled beakers, computers, and papers. Jon walked through the laboratory, which obviously had some very important data, due to the security and secrecy of the area, when he noticed a warp to another area that was about to close. Still in pause mode, Jon walked into the warp, only to have nothing happen. "&I guess I need to unpause to make it work&," Jon thought as he unpaused and was whisked off to another area.

The Game Master found himself in a hallway with a dead end on one side and another blown up door on the other. The geek immediately paused again and went through the hole. In the room was a safe on top of a pedestal, protected by various lasers. In the Video Game Universe, the stronger the laser, the easier it is to see, so these lasers were bright red. Near the pedestal, the Game Master noticed another figure. He was slightly taller than Jon, was anthropomorphic, had gray cones for hands, and appeared to be wearing red armor. Jon hid behind the wall and unpaused to see what he was doing.

**"Crash Man's Theme From Mega Man 2"**

The red figure shot off his cone hands at the top of the pedestal, near the safe, revealing that his hands were actually bombs. The resulting explosion knocked the safe out of the barrier formed by the lasers and onto the ground. The figure then shot four bombs that stuck to the corners of the safe and blew off the door. Inside was what seemed to be a NES cartridge, which the figure picked up and stared at in disbelief. "Dammit, I should have known it would be this old! I should have had Wily give me an older system before this! My current system's still compatible with this, but this will feel really funky," the figure said to himself as he shoved the cartridge into his forehead, apparently into a cartridge slot. "Transferring data now..."

**End "Crash Man's Theme From Mega Man 2"**

Deciding that whatever the figure was doing was bad, Jon transformed his controller into his Light Gun, ran out from behind the wall, and started shooting at the figure. The figure was knocked back a bit and the cartridge shot out of his head on to the ground. He quickly turned around and shot one of his bombs at Jon, but the Game Master ran back behind the wall, avoiding it.

"Hmm, you must be that new Game Master I've heard about. I didn't notice anyone following me, so the only way you could have gone through the warp in time was to use that pause skill of yours!" said the figure.

"Uh... &Gah, what's a witty comeback&? ... Thank you?" Jon replied.

"Thank you! That's an odd thing to say, especially from someone as ugly as you! That's right, you're ugly, and you smell bad, too! I do like your pants, though, so says the Incredible CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!" the figure, revealed to be the Robot Master known as Crash Man yelled as he started posing.

**"Robot Master Jingle"**

While the robot was posing, Jon jumped out from behind the wall and fired a B-Shot, making a direct hit. Crash Man was knocked into the nearby wall due to that blast.

End "Robot Master Jingle"

"Okay, now you made me mad, Dandruff Boy!" Crash Man said.

"Well... uhh... At least I have hands!" Jon replied.

"I have hands, too," Crash Man pointed out as he transformed his cone hands into normal ones with white gloves and then changed them back.

"...Oh... &Maybe I should just stop trying to converse with my enemies&."

"Anyway, you're not going to stop me from escaping with the Map Cartridge, and since I can't have you tap into my teleportation path and it's impossible to teleport in or out of this place without using this Warp Capsule, I guess I'll have to kill you!"

Jon was about to disagree with him about the killing part, but the Robot Master quickly shot a Crash Bomb at him.

**"Mega Man 2 Boss Theme"**

Jon jumped out of the way and, realizing that Crash Man wasn't going to change his mind about killing him, shot at him using the A-Blast, but the robot blocked it by shooting a bomb at the laser. Crash Man then dashed through the explosion at swiped at the Game Master with one of his cone hands, but Jon dived to the side, falling over. Crash Man successfully managed to make a medium-sized cut along the nerd's side, however. Jones groaned, but he quickly fired a B-Blast into the Robot Master as he skidded to a stop, knocking him quite far away.

Jon reached into his pocket and ate one of his Mushrooms, turning the wound into a paper cut and magically fixing his shirt, but Crash Man suddenly shot four Crash Bombs at the Game Master, surrounding him. Jon quickly pressed the PAUSE button, got up and jumped away, and right as the bombs exploded, time froze. The Game Master moved the exploding bombs from the floor and positioned them around the robot's body. He then went behind Crash Man, unpaused, and right as the bombs hit, doing little damage due to it being his own attack, Jon fired a B-Blast, making a direct hit.

Crash Man was knocked away by the attack, but he turned around and fired a Crash Bomb at Jon, which the Game Master, like usual, jumped away from. However, as the Crash Bomb passed the nerd, it exploded in mid-air, knocking Jon into the wall and giving him some burns. The Robot Master then fired another bomb at the Jon, but when the Game Master pressed PAUSE, Crash Man made it explode before it could reach him. Time froze.

"&He must have figured out my strategy&," thought Jon as he ate another Mushroom and his burns healed. The Game Master then walked behind the robot, unpaused, and fired an A-Blast, but Crash Man expected this and shot a bomb at the laser, blocking it. He then jumped high into the air and started repeatedly firing his Crash Bombs at Jon, but he quickly pressed PAUSE and started running away until time froze. However, when time froze, Jon found that Crash Man was too far away to move the bombs to, and everything stayed still once Jon let go of them, so he couldn't throw them. The nerd unpaused under Crash Man and rapidly fired his A-Blast at him. The Robot Master shot Crash Bombs to block them all, but the explosions were so close that they were harming him, so he stopped the defensive.

On the ground, Crash Man tried to tackle Jon, but the Game Master ducked and the Robot Master went right over him. However, this was the plan, as, in mid-air, Crash Man fired his bombs along the nearby wall and the explosions caused rubble from the wall to fall to the ground. Jon pressed PAUSE and ran away, but a message popped up.

**"You are out of Time Points."**

"&Time Points! You mean my pause has ammo&!" Jon thought as some of the rubble fell on him, pinning him to the ground.

**End "Mega Man 2 Boss Theme"**

Crash Man was about to fire a Crash Bomb, but suddenly, a loud drilling sound was heard. The Robot Master stopped and looked up, trying to figure out what it was. Soon, dirt was falling from the ceiling and a hole formed with a drill popping out of it.

"What the hell?" said Crash Man as the drill went down further, revealing that it was red and someone was riding in it. A head poked out of it, along with an arm that shot a green fan-shaped capsule near the Robot Master. The green capsule exploded into a miniature tornado, which engulfed the robot, and after screaming for a while, he exploded in multiple energy balls.

The drill then transformed into a sort of flying red dog and the person who shot the tornado jumped down.

**"Slower, More Heroic Version Of Mega Man 3 Title Screen Music, Starting From Where Music Picks up"**

"Are you okay?" an indigo and blue-green figure who seemed around ten years old said his color switched to plain blue and he shot the rubble off the Game Master using a sort of plasma gun built into his arm.

"I'm fine. Say, aren't you Mega Man?"

"Please, just call me Rock" Mega Man said as he jumped off Rush and pressed a button on his armor. Suddenly, his armor was sucking into a small wristwatch, leaving him with a yellow t-shirt and blue jeans, making his young age even more obvious. Rock's eyes glowed as he jumped high into the air and absorbed the orbs from Crash Man's explosion, absorbing the Crash Bomb.

"That was the Tornado Hold you used to kill Crash Man, wasn't it?"

"Yeah, it was."

"How did you get here anyway?"

"I was in Hand Stadium, the place where the Super Smash Bros. Tournament is taking place, helping out, and I came to help when the castle was being attacked. King Game and Watch told me to come to this chamber. Anyway, let's get you out of here."

"Just a minute," Jon said as he picked up the "Map Cartridge" Crash Man tried to take and the Warp Capsule leading back to the hidden laboratory. He then got on Rush the transforming robo-dog, who was in his Rush Jet mode, and found that Rush was sending an electric current through him so that he would stay on.

The two went through the hole formed by the Rush Drill, which is a special attack from the Marvel vs. Capcom series, if you're wondering, and came to the surface.

"&Hey, we're pretty close to the castle&," Jon thought as he got off Rush. King Game and Watch, along with a bunch of soldiers, greeted them. The sky was clear of Wily's ships, implying that the invasion was over.

"It's nice to see you again, too, King Game and Watch."

"Wait," said Jon," you can understand him without a translator?"

"Yeah. I have a built in translator."

"Cool," Jon replied as he put on his translator. "I think you guys might want this," he said as he handed the Map Cartridge and Warp Capsule to the King/president. "Is there anything important about that NES cartridge?"

"We're not sure, we just hid it because the data was in a very rare format and it needed to be studied. However, if Dr. Wily used all of those robots to get this, then there must be something important about it. I'll have Pit (from Kid Icarus, former member of N-Team) hide this until we figure out what, though," replied the stick figure being.

"Why are you telling him all of this?" Rock asked.

"Oh, right, I forgot," King Game and Watch said as he introduced Jon to Rock.

"So you're the new Game Master? It's nice to meet you," the boy robot told Jon as he held out his hand.

"Uhh... Thanks," Jon said as he hesitantly shook the boy robot's hand.

-I

NEXT TIME ON CAPTAIN N: 2004!

**"Instrumental Version Captain N 2004 Theme Song"**

Just make up your own scenes that play while Jon says all of this.

"It seems that since I came to Nintendo, strange things have been going on. For my first mission, I'll be heading to the world of Popstar to solve a problem with Dark Matter and Metaknight. By the way, it seems that to make sure I don't screw up, Link has joined my pitiful little band. Stuff blows up, but who knows, there might be a scene where it doesn't.

"Be sure to watch/read Captain N Level 2: There's A Popstar, So What About Snapstar and Cracklestar? I Wonder What A Crackstar Would Be Like? Or the shorter title: Crackstar"

"Because Magic cards are not created equal."


	2. Crackstar DX Version 2

The symbol "&" will show the thoughts of characters.

"-I" will act as a section break.

"-" has replaced all astericks, which do not show up here.

In the middle of a field, there stood some guys. There were a lot of robot parts around. If you read the last chapter you should know what I'm talking about. If you didn't, why did you skip the first chapter? Just to spite you, I'll skip the normal introduction stuff and go straight to the dialog.

"Oh, by the way Jon," said Toad, who walked in from off screen, "there's some stuff I forgot to mention about your PAUSE. It uses up one Time Point every time you use it, and you use up another for every ten minutes you're in PAUSE mode. You have ten Time Points and you regain them by sleeping. Healing only starts if you sleep for at least three hours, so you can't recover in the middle of battle by sleeping in PAUSE mode."

"Uhh... That's nice to know, I guess..." Jon responded. He was still aching a bit from the previous battle.

Rock, meanwhile, seemed to be thinking, but suddenly got very excited. "King Game and Watch, Jon, can I stay here tonight?"

"Uhh... sure..." they both answered.

"Great!" Rock said. He went up to his robo-dog, Rush, and pressed a button. An image of Dr. Light appeared above the red dog. "Dr. Light, therewasanewGameMasterandIwanttogettoknowhimsocanIstayatthecastletonight? Pleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplea-"

"Alright Rock, you can stay there for the night. So there's a new Game Master? I better make a note to meet him tomorrow," said the old doctor, Thomas Light.

"No, that's okay Tom, I'll write it down for you!" said the voice of an obsessed fan of Dr. Light.

"No, that's perfectly alright, Auto, I'm not old enough to-"

But it was too late, and Auto printed out a note to meet the new Game Master at the castle and stuck it to the scientist's head. "... Light out." Dr. Light was about to turn off the transmission when the lights suddenly went out. "Auto, how many times do I have to tell you, I don't WANT voice commands on the lights!" With that, Dr. Light turned off the phonvision (visual phone).

**Now Loading...**

**LEVEL TWO: Crackstar**

**Because Magic cards are not created equal, the creators of Kirby took up crack and created this game. This Magic fact caused others to take a similar path, many to a much greater effect, especially Japan, as shown by games like Chu Chu Rocket. Thus, quite a few people in Japan are crackheads… and Magic fans, apparently…**

"Wily, your invasion failed!" Mother Brain informed the mad scientist in her uni-tone voice. "You failed to retrieve the Map Cartridge!"

"How was I supposed to know that the Game Master would already be that skilled?" questioned Wily.

"Wily, why are you afraid of her! She's just a giant brain! It's not like she's going to call out a giant attack body and kill you!" exclaimed Bass. Instead of summoning her attack body from Super Metroid, Mother Brain activated her fire-ring guns and started rapidly shooting at Bass and Wily. Bass simply destroyed the rings with some charged-up blasts. "Is that all you got!" Bass cockily said.

"Bass, stop it!" Wily yelled.

"Shut it, old man!" Bass said as he continued shooting. However, some compartments opened up in the base of Mother Brain's jar, releasing several metroids, with some sort of electric device on their "heads", on the robot and human. Bass switched to his Blizzard Blast and froze all of them. "Pathetic!" However, after a few seconds, the metroids unfroze and resumed their attack. "WTF!" Bass yelled as he used his Blizzard Blast again. The metroids froze and unfroze again, and this repeated until Bass ran out of weapon energy. The metroids attached to Bass and Wily's heads and drained energy from them until Mother Brain shocked them using the electric devices on their heads, which were attached to their actual nerves, making them come back to the compartments.

LATER

Wily and Bass soon regained consciousness as Mother Brain finished conversing with the shadowed figure on her video screen. "Wily, it seems that when one of your robot masters took the cartridge, before he was killed, he managed to transmit the first message," Mother Brain told her lackeys. "Our scientists have thankfully managed to crack it. We must to go to Popstar and retrieve the Star Rod from the Fountain of Dreams."

"What, now?" Wily asked groggily.

"Say, do you think Kirby would let us have it?" the Eggplant Wizard asked.

"Of course not. Wait... Eggplant Wizard? When did you get here?" Mother Brain asked.

"When did I get here? Well... I got here right after I showed King Hippo the most annoying sound in the world and we had a ketchup fight. After that, I met his parents and we decided it'd be fun to smother them in keyboards, and they died, but it was fun, mmmmmm... tasty. Wait... after that, we decided to superglue post-its saying how tasty Jell-O pudding is everywhere on Venom- Andross was pretty mad about that and he yelled "BLARGHBlAh/\/\", but I think he was just hiding his feelings about how great it was, and then-"

"I didn't ask you how your day was. I asked you what time did you get here. It doesn't matter anyway. Where's King Hippo?"

"He's in the bathroom," the short, robed, purple man with an eggplant face responded.

"We might as well wait for him. I understand that humans have a strange liking towards reunions. In the meantime, I'll get some assistance on Popstar."

-I

-I

"Neato! You got a really nice room!" said Rock, who seemed to turn into a hyper ten-year-old as soon as he came inside Jon's room. He started running around and tapped everything, either commenting that it was much better than his, or saying his was better.

"... Are you like this all the time?" asked an annoyed Jon.

"Only when I'm out of my armor. So basically, me and Mega Man are two different people."

"Is there any chance that you could change back to Mega Man for this sleepover? No offense, but ten year olds aren't exactly the most calming things in the world."

"Sorry, but I prefer to get into my armor only when I need to. It has so many bad memories," Rock said as he transformed his hand into his Mega Buster. "Look at all of these oil stains! They each represent one memory I want to forget, but can't!"

"I don't want to ruin your moment, but I don't see any oil stains."

"WHAT! Dr. Light must have cleaned them off while I was sleeping! However, there USED to be an oil stain right here! That was from when I Top Spun right through Gamma all those years ago. My entire body was covered in his oil an-"

Jon's thoughts interrupted Rock. "&I realize that 'oil' is supposed to be like blood, but it still sounds wrong o0&!"

"-d it still hasn't come off! ... Well, until now, that is. This oil stain that _was_ right here was from when I Slash Man cut me, but at that exact time, I sent a Mega Buster shot sailing RIGHT through his skull, and _THIS_ former oil stain was... from when I was watching Power Rangers and, in my ten year old stupidity, grabbed a sword and started swinging it around everywhere. Eventually, I cut a pipe and oil was sprayed right in my face, so I stopped doing that. Now THIS stain wa-"

Not wanting to interrupt Rock's "macho-ness", Jon turned on the TV. There was a commercial for McMickey's new line of hot-and-spicy Blaziken sandwiches.

-I

-I

"Eggplant Wizard! I thought you said King Hippo was in the bathroom!" the angry brain "yelled", but it was the same tone and volume as before.

"He _is_ in the bathroom- the one in his house! Duh!" the Eggplant Wizard said.

"..."

LATER

"Everyone, get into the ship!" Mother Brain told her three bruised lackeys. They silently walked into the Space Pirate ship, which, as soon as some Space Pirates carried Mother Brain in, blasted off for Popstar.

-I

-I

Jon woke up the next morning fully healed.

"... and _THIS_ stain, ohohoho, this one's a dozy, you might throw up after this one," the high-pitched voice of Rock continued rambling.

Jon listened to his talking for a few more minutes, but finally said, "Rock, you can stop now. You've been rambling on like an old man the entire time you were here." "&And besides&", Jon thought, "&Rock is obviously making stuff up now&."

"What? I was?"

"... Yeah"

"Oh... wanna play hide-and-seek!"

"... Why not? The rules are that you have to stay in the castle and you can hide first. I'll count to one-hundred."

Jon turned his head to the wall and heard a teleporting sound as soon as he said "one". Jon shrugged and turned on the TV. To his surprise, the face of Toad appeared on the screen.

"Game Master, what do you think you're doing?"

"o0 WTH!"

"Why aren't you looking for Rock?" asked the talking mushroom.

"... Because I don't want to and I just wanted to get rid of him for some alone time? He was a lot more annoying than I thought he would be."

"But you have to finish your minigame to move on!"

"Minigame?"

"By accepting Mega Man's challenge to hide-and-seek, you have started a minigame that you are unable to get out of unless you complete it."

"Oh... okay..." Jon started playing on his GBA.

"I'm gonna take that GBA and shove it up your wang if you don't hurry up! By the way, if the timer on the GBA's screen runs out, you'll blow up."

"WHAT! I'LL BLOW UP!" Jon yelled as he turned off his GBA, but there was still a timer counting down from 20 minutes in the upper-right corner. With wide eyes, he ran out of the door. "&How did that timer-oh screw this! GOTTA GO FAST! GOTTA GO FAST! GOTTA GO FASTER FASTER FASTERFASTERFASTER!...&"

-I

-I

Rock wasn't that hard to find, considering the obvious reference his name makes, and the fact that there was a stage in the castle. Jon found him there singing some Spanish hard rock, occasionally chanting "SEIS SEIS SEIS!", while powering up the Atomic Fire attack, so there were flames surrounding him and stuff.

"You know, you're making this too easy", said Jon.

As soon as Jon came up to the stage, a large message saying "MINIGAME COMPLETED! YOU GOTTEN... A MUSHROOM!" popped up and a Mushroom appeared in Jon's hands. It then disappeared into his GBA where it appeared on a screen like this.

Mushroom x1 Recover a small amount of your health.

"What's with the Engrish?" Jon inquired.

Rock shrugged. "Scientists have been trying to figure that one out ever since the prize system appeared, which, judging from Kevin's information, was around the time the first game where you gained points appeared in your world."

"You mean since Pong?"

"I guess."

"So every time I complete a minigame, I get an item?"

"Yeah."

"So I could just complete simple minigames like this over and over again and I'll have unlimited mushrooms?"

"Not exactly," Rock said as he pulled out a bag of mushrooms from a compartment on his back. "Before the minigame, the challenger and the challengees must agree on a reward. If they don't come to an agreement, they automatically get the loser's lowest-level item. However, the challenger must, first, actually HAVE the item so it can be given to the winner. I carry around all of these mushrooms, even though they have no effect on me because if I lost a minigame, the systems would move up to something higher like my E-Tanks or weapons, and those are hard to replace."

"What about experience points?"

"Those are gained by the actual fight as you gain experience from it. Judging from what Kevin said, it seems that in RPGs, it just displays the total amount you gained from the fight."

"Speaking of weapons, what attacks do you have now?"

"Atomic Fire, Crash Bomb, Junk Shield, Water Wave, Tornado Hold, and Magnet Missiles. I still have two empty slots," Rock said as he changed his colors to each respective attack.

After this conversion continued for a bit, a Waddle Dee ran into the room. "Game Master, the King has a mission for you! Mega Man, you can come too!" he said as he threw down a warptube and jumped in. Jon shrugged and jumped in too, as did Rock.

"&Work already? Wait, why am I surprised? A game/show cliché is that as soon as the main character joins an organization/appears in a town/etc., enemies literally start coming out of nowhere, or a prophesy suddenly appears that states that doom will come soon, or something like that&," thought Jon.

"&Cool! The new N-Team goes on its first mission! Too bad no one else could come&," thought Rock.

They appeared in the throne room where Toad was waiting. "King Game and Watch has a lot of work to do, so he's having me give you the brief. Jon, I have a mission for you. For some strange reason, the Dark Matter seems to be guarding the Fountain of Dreams and is preventing everyone from seeing the Star Rod. Kirby won't help, since he always felt that the Fountain of Dreams shouldn't have been a tourist attraction in the first place and the Dark Matter isn't doing anything, so you have to go and find out what he's doing. Mega Man, you go with him to make sure he doesn't mess up."

"So wait, all I have to do is see what the Dark Matter is doing?" asked Jon.

"Yeah."

"No fighting at all?"

"Most likely."

"Why can't King Dedede handle this?"

"Because he's an idiot."

"...Meh, I guess this shouldn't take too long..."

"Actually, since there is no direct warp to the Fountain of Dreams, you'll have to take a path through the Green Greens, which will take a day at least. Mega Man should be able to direct you to the correct path. By the way, I'll have to open this warp outside, since inter-zonal portals tend to be rather large."

"&What he really means is that he's too cheap to pay the fee for warping to Rainbow Resort&," thought Rock.

"That means I'll miss today's episodes of Whose Line Is It Anyway..." Grumbling, Jon walked outside and into a newly opened warp to the Green Greens, followed by Mega Man, who transformed into his armor.

-I

-I

Soon after Jon and Rock left, a cool wind picked up and started circling around a single point, creating a tornado of strange colors. Quickly, the wind died down and a blonde-haired man in green clothing stepped out.

**"Hyrule Overworld Theme More Heroic Remix"**

"Good morning, Link," said the Waddle Dee guarding the warp as he handed him a small mobile object that can be used for communication. "You want to meet the new Game Master, right?"

"That's right," said the Hero of Time. "Is he here?"

"Unfortunately, he just left for his first mission at the Fountain of Dreams, but I'm sure he'll be back tomorrow."

"If it's his first mission, I guess I should make sure he doesn't mess up too much."

"No, that's okay. He already has Mega Man with him, and all he has to do is see what the Dark Matter is doing!"

"Mega Man? I haven't seen him for forever! Is that the warp to where they went?"

"Yes-errrrrrrr... No..."

"Great!" Link said as he jumped in.

**"Hyrule Overworld Theme More Heroic Remix"**

"Wait! ... Darn it," the Waddle Dee said as he went back to his post.

-I

-I

A sign appeared above the two heroes.

**OVERWORLD: GREEN GREENS...**

**"Green Greens Theme From Kirby: Nightmare In Dreamland In The Last Level Before The Boss Fights"**

"None of the animals are attacking, so I guess the Dark Matter is focusing on guarding the Fountain of Dreams, but why?" asked Jon.

Mega Man shrugged and motioned that they need to turn left. However, Link ran up to them. "Hey Mega Man! When did you come back from Sony?"

"I came back just last year, though my world's currently open to both Nintendo and Sony."

"You're Link, right? What are you doing here in Dreamland? &Cool, Link's here. That's awesome... I guess&," asked Jon. Once you see giant talking mushrooms, walking stick figures, and robots shooting exploding cones, you don't get easily surprised, so Jon wasn't that surprised by the fact that Link was standing right in front of him.

"I heard this was your first mission, so I came to help you out." Link said.

"OMG And I came to help you out too!" yelled an extremely freaky voice.

"Who are you?" asked Mega Man.

"I am teh scariest thing in the universe!"

"Live Nude Robotnik!" asked Jon.

"No! OMG!"

"Sailor Bubba!"

"No!"

"Man-Faye!"

"OMG No!"

"Tub Girl!"

"No, I'm God!"

"You're God?"

"Yes, I am, you son of biahdjkvitch ROFL!" the freaky guy lied. "Oh, and L is real 22856, ROFL I R better Game Master than j00!"

Link just stood there completely stupefied by the conversation.

Jon pulled out his warp capsule, threw it at the freaky guy, and it exploded, sending him back to the castle. "Silly n00b, thinking he can fool us with decent spelling…"

"That was our only way back to the castle, you know. Wait, actually, I think I may have one too, oh, here it is," said Mega Man.

"OMG I R TEH ROXXOR, PWN'D!1!1!12!2!1! OMG LOL!i c0ME T00 4WELP YOU ROFL LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL P\/\/N3D WTF!11!11!2!2121!2!212!" yelled another person, forcing the Game Master to grab the kid robot's warp capsule and throw it at him, sending him to the same location as the last.

"You know, I'm beginning to sense a pattern... Mega Man, do you have a built in phone or something?"

"No, those types of robots are actually very rare," answered Mega Man. "Not to mention that Rush only has a connection to Dr. Light's house and isn't actually a phone."

"You can use my cell phone," stated Link. Everyone stared at him.

-I

-I

BACK AT THE CASTLE

"Yes... yes, Jon, I'll do that... the warp will last another hour, but... yes, I'll make sure no more people follow after you... okay... right... bye." Toad hung up, walked outside, and pulled a loudspeaker out of nowhere. There were news reporters, kids who should have been in school, people skipping work, and drunken hobos gathering around the castle waiting to meet the new Game Master. Pretty much everyone in the game universe was there.

"**EVERYONE, GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE! THE GAME MASTER DOESN'T WANT ANY MORE PEOPLE HELPING HIM AND IF YOU GO THROUGH THAT WARP, YOU DIE! NOW GET OUT OF HERE BEFORE I GET MY BAZOOKA!**" Toad yelled.

Not wanting to fight a fungus with a bazooka, the entire universe apologized at once and left for their respective regions.

-I

-I

"I guess that's over," Jon said as he gave Link back his phone.

-I

-I

On Starship Metriod, the screen suddenly started ringing.

Mother Brain activated the screen. "Yes, who is it?"

"You should recognize me! And how could you attempt to steal the Star Rod without me?" the figure on the screen said.

"How did you get the signal for this screen, Metaknight?"

"You of all people should know, with that galactic network of yours, that that's because I'm not Metaknight," Metaknight said as some purple gas poured out of his mouth and nose forming the Nightmare.

"Don't blame my data for overestimating your healing capacities. I would have thought you would have recovered from Kirby's attacks by now."

"Do you have any idea how much the Star Rod hurts? Though my friend, the Dark Matter, has been 'killed' many times by many legendary weapons, the Star Rod is not only the source of dreams, but the repeller of bad dreams as well, so you can probably imagine what it did to me."

"Get to the point!"

"Anyway, my sources, AKA, those idiots over there," Nightmare said pointing to the Meta-crew," say that the new N-Team, which has doubled in size from yesterday, is already here!"

"How could they have known?"

"Unlike me, Dark Matter isn't very good at being subtle. While I would have possessed the guards to keep an eye on the Star Rod and keep everyone away, Dark Matter just flew over there and started standing in front of the fountain like an idiot."

"I suppose we can't do anything about it now. Since Dark Matter is busy guarding the Fountain of Dreams, stop the N-Team!"

"I'm on it!"

"Uhh... Where am I?" the formerly life-less body of Metaknight said. Nightmare quickly went back inside Metaknight. "This is Nightmare, reporting from the Halberd II, signing off."

-I

-I

The N-Team continued walking down the path, when a shadow fell over them, so they looked up.

"What? Is that one of Wily's ships?" asked the boy robot, Mega Man.

"No, it looks like the Halberd from Kirby SuperStar!"

On cue, a smaller ship flew out and dropped a large metal lobster in front of them. "I am Heavy Lobster 2.0," the robot lobster said... robotically. "I am programmed to kill the N-Team. Now you will be massacred!"

Suddenly, a large message saying **"Battle... BEGIN!"** appeared and the battle began... almost.

"... Why didn't that appear when I fought Crash Man?" asked Jon.

"... Did you interrupt his poses?" asked Mega Man.

"Yeah."

"There's your problem right there!" said Link. "Everyone knows the Battle Begin screen for Robot Masters only appears when you let them finish their poses!"

Thus, the battle actually began.

**"Kirby SuperStar Boss Theme"**

HL launched his claws toward the N-Team, but Mega Man used a charged up Mega Buster to knock them away. With Heavy Lobster defenseless, Link stuck bombs into the spaces where the claws launched from, and the robot was badly damaged. However, the claws still returned and the rebuilt robot dashed toward them claws first, but everyone jumped out of the way, some less easily than others. Mega Man shot a Magnet Missile at Heavy Lobster's back, but it was knocked away by his claw, which somehow reached his back. Jon pressed PAUSE and when time froze after he jumped a few laser attacks, he ran to Heavy Lobster's side, unpaused, and shot an A-Blast, but HL's claw quickly reacted and blocked that too.

"He's fast," commented Mega Man.

"&You know, one of these days, someone should come up with a more witty version of 'Thank you Mr. Obvious'&," thought Jon.

At this point, compartments on Heavy Lobster's back opened up, releasing several missiles at the three fighters. While Mega Man used his Tornado Hold to take care of some and Jon used his pinpoint accuracy, Link... blocked them with his shield.

"WTF!" asked Jon.

Link instantly knew what he was referring to and explained that his items emitted a magic aura, so they do more damage and can resist more damage than they should, and can thus block missile attacks and hurt robots. Jon nodded and the battle continued.

Heavy Lobster activated it's flamethrower, but Link used an ice arrow the freeze it and threw a boomerang into the claw to keep it open. Jon shot a B-Blast as Mega Man shot a Crash Bomber into the open claw. HL's systems overloaded and he exploded, but at that instant, 50 more Heavy Lobsters flew down from the ship.

**End "Kirby SuperStar Boss Theme"**

**"Kirby SS Marx Battle Theme"**

"...," Jon didn't say.

The first lobster started off by shooting out a small, rainbow colored version of himself, which started rushing toward the N-Team. Suddenly, a strange sucking sound was heard and the miniature HL2 stopped. After a short fight, it finally flew into the mouth of everyone's favorite puffball, Kirby. Kirby swallowed it, turning into Paint Kirby and he flew up into the air, holding up his paintbrush, and buckets of paint flew out of it toward the HLs. Not even their claws could block all of the paint.

"Visible spectrum sensors...inoperable. Infrared sensor... malfunctioning. X-ray sensors... destroyed. All visual operations are currently inoperable," all of the robots said at once. They then blew up, because they can.

**End "Kirby SS Marx Battle Theme"**

**KIRBY WINS! YOU GOTTEN... USELESS PIECE OF SCRAP METAL!**

Kirby looked at the metal that appeared in his hands and tossed it away.

"Kirby, thanks for your help," said Jon. "So, why did Metaknight attack us?"

"It wooks wike Metaknight was hired to sthop you flom leaching the Dalk Mather. However, Dalk Mather isn'th doing much, so wet's thake care of Methaknighth firsth. We ton'th hawe thime fol inthloducthions, so you can alw lide my walpstal tho the Hawbeld, buth ith wilw be wely clowthed."

"...What the hell is wrong with your voice!" Jon asked.

"--;"

-I

-I

Ten minutes later...

"When he said the warpstar would be crowded, he wasn't kidding!" Link said.

"Stop complaining! At least you don't have to ride on the bottom!" Jon said as he clang onto the bottom of the star with Link's hookshot. "Thanks for letting me use your hookshot, by the way."

"No problem!"

"We quiet! We'le ahmost thele!" Kirby said. The warpstar crashed onto the deck, sending everyone a few feet away from the crash site.

"Gah... couldn't we 'land' closer to the control room?" Jon asked.

"No. If we thit, we wouwt hawe been shoth town. The main cannon isn'th some tinky Lighth Gun, ya know!"

-I

-I

"Sir Metaknight! The N-Team has landed on the main deck!" Meta-Lance of the Meta Crew said.

"Send out Captain Stitch's squad! &Maybe sending out a bunch of guys will work this time. It didn't before, but it has to work now&," Metaknight ordered.

"Yes, sir, Sir Metaknight!" said Meta-Lance.

As soon as Metaknight left, Meta-Axe turned on the intercom. "Captain Stitch, power up the main cannon and have the blast skim, not destroy, the deck and kill the N-Team!"

"Meta-Axe, sir!" said Meta-Lance. "Sir Metaknight told you to have Captain Stitch send out his squad, not use the main cannon on them!"

"Shooting them would have a higher success rate then sending wave after wave of men to attack them, Meta-Lance, sir! We tried that with Kirby, remember? He has 3 more people with him, so there is an even lower chance of that working!"

"Hmmm... I guess you're right. Fire away, Sir Meta-Axe."

-I

-I

**OVERWORLD: HALBERD II MAIN DECK...**

"... Shouldn't we have been attacked by a bunch of guys by now?" Jon asked looking around.

"Yeah, we shouwd be," said Kirby as he noticed something. "Guys! The main cannon is poweling up!"

"Gah! How do we avoid it?" asked Mega Man.

"It sweems to be aimed wat the deck-"

"Actually, it's aimed so that it barely touches the deck," Mega Man said as he calculated the angle of the cannon.

"So, we waf to go inside the Hawberd to avoid it."

"Inside?" asked Link, "But the entrance is about a mile away!"

"I think I could get us there in time," Mega Man said as he transformed Rush into his motorcycle form.

"How will you carry all of us?" asked Link.

"Maybe I couwd suck alw of you up so that there wouldn't be any extra weight and ride Lush to the entrance," answered the pink puff ball.

"Okay, I guess, but promise that you won't swallow us," said Jon.

"I plomise." Kirby then sucked everyone up and jumped onto Rush. However, at that moment, a large laser came from the cannon and hit everyone, knocking everyone off of the ship. By reflex, Kirby spit everyone out and Rush transformed back to his dog form.

-I

-I

"Ugh... where are we?" asked Jon as he regained consciousness.

"Okay! Ewelyone who isn'th theath, say something!" yelled out Kirby.

"Did we make it?" asked Mega Man, whose logic circuits were a bit scrambled at the moment.

"No, we didn't," said Link as he pulled out a bottle of Lon Lon Milk, drank it, and then stood up as if nothing happened.

Mega Man handed Mushrooms to Jon and Kirby. "You still haven't answered my question. Where are we?" asked Jon. "And how did I survive both the blast and the fall?"

"Well, jutging flom the sulounthings," Kirby said as he looked at the large bronze skyscraper in front of them. "We al at the Buther Builthings"

"Butter Buildings? How did we get this far from the Green Greens," Jon asked.

"I have no ithea, buth this is acthually wely conwinienth. If I lemembel collecthly, Jeth's nesth shouwth be ath the thop. He shoulth help us geth back ontho the Hawbeld II, since I _thith_ theach him how tho fly."

"Jet? Who's he?" asked the Game Master.

"Jet is Dynabwade's son. He and his wife al liwing at the thop of the Buther Builthings. Now, fowow me!" Kirby said as he walked to the towers.

"You know, I still want to know how I survived," said Jon.

Suddenly, Toad walked in from off screen and said," Law of Video Game Physics 86: A man named Rostenburg developed the Rostenburg Reality Scale, with measures exactly how realistic a world is on a scale from 1 to 10. Dreamland has a Reality Rating of 2, or two reals, so you can't be hurt by anything that isn't an enemy or obstacle, and thus, you weren't killed, but since this world still has some connections to reality, you still lost HP due to the height of the fall. Would you like me to repeat this?" "Yes" and "No" buttons popped up.

"How did you g-" Jon almost said, but deciding that he was yelled at enough times yesterday, he chose "No".

Toad nodded and walked off screen, so the Game Master decided to pretend this never happened, for now. He would question Toad on how he got here when he got back to the castle, however.

The N-Team came up to the Butter Buildings and started to walk in. "Wait! Why don't you just fly up?" the Game Master, Jon, asked.

"What do you mean?" asked Link.

"Kirby could use his infinite flight time to fly up while carrying either you or me and Mega Man could use the Rush Jet to carry either you or me, along with him, to the top, using a W-Tank every once in a while!" said Jon.

"We can'th do thath!" exclaimed Kirby.

"Why not?"

"Because... uhhh... thele mighth be enemies insithe anth we neeth tho stop them befole they leach Jeth anth his wife!"

"Uh... Yeah!" Mega Man and Link exclaimed.

"&...Damn video game logic&," Jon thought to himself as he followed everyone inside.

**DUNGEON: BUTTER BUILDINGS INTERIOR...**

-I

-I

A Space Pirate ship loomed over The Fountain of Dreams.

**OVERWORLD: RAINBOW RESORT...**

"It's about time you got here!" Dark Matter yelled up to the ship. "The rays of goodness shining from the Star Rod were making me sick to my stomach!"

Bass teleported down. "Could you move?"

"Yeah, sure," DM said as he floated out of the way. Bass pulled the Star Rod out, causing the water to stop pouring out of the fountain and it lost its beautiful glow. He teleported back into the ship.

"Dark Matter!" Mother Brain said over the intercom, "You don't have to do anything else. You can go now."

"Just remember our deal! Once _The Code_ is complete, I will be allowed to use a legendary weapon against Kirby!" Dark Matter then disappeared in a puff of smoke.

-I

-I

"Whoa! Look at how pretty it is!" Eggplant Wizard exclaimed as he grabbed the Star Rod from Bass and started playing with it.

"Give me that!" Mother Brain yelled as a robotic claw stole it from Eggplant Wizard. However, the claw accidentally swiped it, so it shot out a star that created a hole that went straight through the wall. "Hmm... I guess I should be more careful," MB said as she put the Star Rod in a glass container, which was then put in a cabinet in her jar.

Mother Brain then called the shaded figure. "Did you get the Star Rod?" asked him.

"Yes, sir, we did," said MB. "We are heading back right now."

"No! Don't leave! Before you come back, you must take care of this new N-Team!"

"We currently have someone solving that problem for us, so don't worry," MB said as "The Man" hung up. She then called Metaknight. "Nightmare, Don't bother delaying the N-Team. Kill them."

"Yes, ma'am! The N-Team is in front of the Butter Buildings and I fear that they might enlist the help of the Dynablades living there. Has Dr. Wily finished enhancing my men?"

"Not quite," answered Dr. Wily, "but I did finish on the Poppy Bros. Sr.s. They are now Poppy Bros. Sr. Ultra Omega Deluxe Supreme Infinite Improbability Driven Bomber That Are Now More Powerful Than Ever Before And Give Kirby A Sleep Ability Instead Of Crash Or Bomb Ultra Omega Deluxe To The Third Power Men, or Poppy Men for short! I'll send them to you right now!"

"For your sake, I hope they are useful," said the Nightmare/ Metaknight.

-I

-I

**"Butter Buildings Theme From The Room Right Before You Fight Bugzzy"**

"You know, this place is actually pretty boring without enemies," Jon said as he rode the Rush Jet to the top of the pit. "Usually, Bugzzy would be in the next room, but with **_NOTHING HERE_**, disproving your reasoning for going this way in the first place, there's just a small square room with another ladder."

"Game Master, would you SHUT UP? &I really liked Kevin more&," yelled Link as he jumped into the door, which was suspended in midair.

**End "Butter Buildings Theme From The Room Right Before You Fight Bugzzy"**

In the next room, it was strangely dark, except for some small patches of light. "The room wasn't this dark in Kirby's Adventure and Nightmare in Dreamland. Kirby, what's going on?" asked Jon.

"Someone musth have thesthroyeth the lighth bulbs," pointed out Kirby.

"Light bulbs? I guess that makes sense, since many rooms didn't have windows in the game."

"Not to mention it's noon and the sun is right above us, so no light is going through the side windows," commented Mega Man.

"Hey, I think I hear something," said Link with his huge pointy elf ears that girls find strangely sexy.

"If you hear strange noises, that means nothing's here. Trust me, using my knowledge of horror games, chances are, the object making the noise is far away from us. If it was anywhere near us, it would be completely silent, but suddenly, out of nowhere, there'd be a huge, hideous screech and a zombie would jump out at us and attack us with a butcher knife, but it would be stuck in his head, so he would have to pull off his actual head and attack us with that, and since the knife would be all the way through his head, he could still skewer us and stuff," said Jon.

"Jon, I see them," said Mega Man, using his infrared. "They're standing right in front of us."

"What do they look like?" asked Link.

"They look like... clowns," answered Mega Man.

"Cwowns? They musth be the Poppy Blos. Sl.s!" exclaimed Kirby.

"Poppy Bros. Sr.s? I doubt that! First of all, what would they be doing in the dark, and why are they just standing there?" countered Jon. "Chances are, they're demonic clowns that run away as soon as we walk up to them, only to drop down from the ceiling in the next room and stab one of us. The question is, which one of us will it be?"

"... You know, he makes a gooth pointh," admitted Kirby.

"Guys, they're pulling out some bombs," said Mega Man.

"Sure they're pulling out bombs- bombs to block the exit so we can't go back and escape the doom of being stabbed!" Jon said.

"Who wilw geth stabbeth, though?" asked Kirby.

"Okay, is any one here black?" asked Jon. Everyone shook their heads, but even though the Game Master couldn't see them very well, he knew it was a stupid question in the first place and already knew the answer. "Now, is anyone here enough of a dumbass to just stand around in a dark, supposedly dangerous room for five minutes?" Everyone looked at each other. Another stupid question. Suddenly, two lit bombs landed in front of the group and a missile flew into Kirby's mouth, preventing him from sucking up the bombs in time. "Hmmm... same shape, same color... so they _WERE_ Poppy Bros... that doesn't explain the missile, though." Then, the bombs exploded, knocking everyone out.

-I

-I

"Ugh... Where am I?" asked Jon as he looked around to see that he was on a beautiful cloud that was surprisingly hard with a strange river flowing through it... and that there were two axes heading straight for him. Jon screamed as the axes barely scraped the sides on his body, pinning him to the ground by his shirt.

"Stay down!" the owner of the axes yelled. He was a tall figure who seemed to be hovering above the ground. He had four arms, no legs, a face that was very simple with no curves and was only vaguely human, and a large, bulky wooden armor with some strange, Dreamland-ish inscription on the chest area. In fact, his entire body seemed to be made of wood. Upon closer inspection, there were strings coming out of him that were connected to one of those things puppeteers use to control puppets. You know, one of these days, they should make a reverse-dictionary, where you have a definition and you look up a word that matches up to it. It would make my life a lot easier…

Jon tried to reach for his controller, but it was knocked away by another axe.

"Don't bother," said Rock, who was next to him and somehow back in his civilian clothes. "Every time we move, he throws an axe before we can do it."

"Link! Why don't you use Nayru's Love to render yourself invincible to the axes?"

"I would, but my bag is over there," Link said nodding his head toward a pile of everyone's containers and weapons, except for the Mega Buster, of course. "By the way, Game Master, do you know where we are?"

"Well, judging from the clouds, we're in the Grape Gardens, which are only one level away from the Butter Buildings," Jon answered. "However, there MAY be a chance we're at the Bubbly Clouds or another cloud level, which are nowhere near Jet's nest, I guess. ...By the way, where's Kirby?"

Everyone looked around. "I have no idea," said Rock. "I suppose those clowns may have taken him elsewhere. Since it's not hard to figure out that they were sent by Metaknight, does he have a vendetta against Kirby?"

"Yeah, he does. I guess they took him up to the Halberd, making it even more essential for us to destroy the ship!" exclaimed Jon.

"That's nice and all, but how are we going to get out of here?" asked Link.

"I could easily escape from these axes, but the guy throwing the axes is the main problem," Rock said.

"Mega Man, I thought you were a robot. How can you be hurt by the axes?" asked Link.

"The blades seemed to laser-sharpened so they can cut through my armor. If they weren't, I wouldn't be pinned to the ground like this, since my clothes are metal, too."

"You know, that reminds me, I forgot to ask Toad this yesterday. If you can go to any world you want and take any thing with you, why aren't there any robots in Hyrule or anything like that?" Jon asked.

"Well, depending on the time period a region is supposed to take place in, some forms of technology don't work there. There's a lot of complicated math to it, but that's basically how it works," Mega Man explained.

"Wait, so that means you can't go into Hyrule?"

"Right."

"That so...? Wait, I think I know how to escape, just don't talk," said Jon as he turned to the puppet thing. "You don't seem familiar. Have you been in any games?"

"..." said the puppet.

"..."

"..."

"... Sooooooooo... do you have a name?"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"... You want me to guess?"

"..."

"…"

"..."

"Game Master, exactly what was your plan anyway?" Link asked

"Well... uhh... I can't remember..."

Rock broke out of the axes, transformed into his armor, and walked up to the puppet. "There seem to be traces of a sleeping powder all over him. It seems someone sprinkled him with it while we were talking, but who?" he said as he used the Mega Buster to destroy Link's and Jon's axes.

"Link, you stay here incase the puppet wakes up, me and Mega Man will try to figure out what happened," Jon said as and Mega Man walked away.

After a while, the sleeping powder wore off. "Ugh... HEY YOU! HOW'D YOU ESCAPE!"

"... What's your name again?" said Link.

"Axe Master," said Axe Master.

"... I've heard better."

**Battle... BEGIN!**

**"Kirby: Nightmare In Dreamland Boss Theme"**

Link struck first by shooting a fire arrow toward the Axe Master. The arrow hit and the puppet burst into flames, but he seemed to ignore this and struck Link with his now flaming axe. Though Link blocked it with his shield, the flames caught his clothes on fire and every fangirl in the universe held their breath at once. However, they groaned when they discovered that clothes never _burn_ off in the World of Nintendo, and Link rolled on the ground/cloud, putting out the fire. Link pulled out his Master Sword and chopped off one of Axe Master's arms. However, it was again ignored and the puppet swiped at Link with an axe, but Link dodged and countered with an ice arrow. The puppet dodged in a similar manner, but Link lodged off another arm. To the Hero of Time's surprise, the wooden solider walked up to his arms and reattached them. Link sliced off his head with his boomerang but it was put back on in a similar fashion. The green-clad Hyrulian cut through the strings holding up the puppet, but they simply regenerated. Axe Master started spinning around and dashed toward Link, who received the full effect of the attack and was knocked across the cloud. Link quickly got up and shot another boomerang attack toward the wooden creature, but Axe Master knocked it away with his axe. As Link dodged an axe toss, the puppet did another spin attack, a mocking of Link's trademark tornado spin, but this time, Link successfully side-jumped out of the way and shot an ice arrow. After Axe Master was frozen, Link tossed a bomb to his side and he exploded into many pieces.

End **"Kirby: Nightmare In Dreamland Boss Theme"**

**LINK WINS! YOU GOTTEN... PIANO E-CARD!**

**Slide this through the E-Reader and see what happens!**

Another E-Card appeared in Link's hands. "Huh? What's this? Wait, I think the Game Master was using a card like this. I better meet up with them," Link said as he drank some blue potion and recovered his health and magic and walked toward where Mega Man and Jon were.

-I

-I

"Test complete. The Butter Buildings are a few hours of walking ahead, so we better get started." exclaimed Mega Man. "Also, there isn't any sign of the person with the sleeping powder."

"Great, more walking," commented Jon.

Suddenly, Link ran up to them and showed them the E-Card.

"I guess I'll try it out," said Jon as he swiped the card, only to have a piano appear in front of him. "What... The... Hell?"

Toad walked in from off screen and said, "The Piano E-Card allows you to summon a piano! Would you like an explanation on how to use it?" An "Okay" and a "No Thanks!" appeared in front of Toad. Jon chose "No Thanks". "That's a good choice, since anyone who wasn't introduced as a fighter is good at instruments! Go ahead, try it!"

"Actually, we kind of need to hurr-"

"**GO AHEAD, TRY IT!**"

Unwillingly, Jon tried it, playing the overworld theme from the year 800 AD in Chrono Trigger… very badly.

"Game Master, as… uh, good as your music is, we still need to get back onto the Halberd!" said Link.

-I

-I

After a few hours of walking, it became dark.

"It's almost night, so we should set up camp," commented Mega Man. "I'll stay up and keep guard, since I don't have to sleep."

"...Kay," Jon said as everyone went to sleep.

-I

-I

The next morning, Link woke up to see that...

"...He's still asleep," Mega Man said.

"Well, we don't have time to wake the newbie up. The Halberd is currently at it's closest to the Butter Buildings, and we don't have another chance to get on, so we have to get Jet's help immediately," Link said squinting at a small brown thing above the Towers, which were now only a few minutes away.

Rock then clicked a button on his watch, causing his armor to appear, and had Rush transform into his Jet form with Jon on him. "Since we can't leave Jon behind, I'll have Rush carry Jon."

-I

-I

At the Butter Buildings...

Do you think those cyborg Poppy Bros. are still in there?" questioned Link.

"Back when we first came here, I wasn't using my metaorb (the orbs robot masters give off when they die) detector, since I wasn't expecting any robots. I can't detect any robots now, so I guess it's safe," answered Mega Man.

"We can't take any chances, so we should be on our guard," Link said as he pulled out his Master Sword.

They walked in to find something they've never noticed before- an elevator. Shrugging, they walked in.

After a ride, they stepped out of the elevator at the top floor to see a giant nest with a giant bird known as a Dynablade.

"...Are Dynablades supposed to have purple auras?" asked Link as he looked up at the large bird.

"No."

"Well, what does it mean, then?"

"Purple means a lot of things," mused MM, "but, since this is Popstar, it is very likely that Jet is possessed by the Dark Matter. However, we can only be sure if he is very aggressive."

Suddenly, Jet noticed them and screamed as he dived toward them. Link dodged to the left, at the entrance, while MM and Rush dodged to the right, but Rush accidentally dropped Jon. Thankfully, a well-aimed hookshot wrapped around Jon instead of impaling him, and dragged him to the left. Jet then crashed into the tower where the entrance was, knocking a bunch of rubble in front of the entrance, blocking Link and Jon, and leaving MM and Rush to face the giant bird.

"&This doesn't look like anything a few bombs won't handle&," Link thought as he placed a bomb. The explosion only cracked the rubble. "&I guess this could take a while&."

**Battle... BEGIN!**

**"Kirby SuperStar Boss Theme"**

Realizing that in order to de-possess Jet, he would have to hurt him, MM started charging up his buster while the bird was recovering, and shot a fully charged blast, hitting him on the head. Jet screeched, took to the air, and dived toward MM. He slid out of the way and used a fully charged mega-buster shot, but Jet anticipated this, dodged, and countered with a fireball. However, MM brought up the Junk Shield, blocking the fireball, and fired it at the Dynablade, but he sliced right through it with his wings. Jet then landed on the ground and flapped his winds, causing MM to fall off the towers. Thankfully, Rush transformed into jet mode and saved his owner, and as they flew back up, MM blasted the Dynablade with a Crash Bomber. The bird, however, dodged and dived toward the duo. With a quick burst of speed, they dodged, and Mega Man shot a fully charged Atomic Fire. He shrieked in pain, and launched his head at MM (you know, that freaky attack from Kirby SuperStar where his neck greatly extended), knocking him off of Rush. On the ground, MM was littered by many fireball attacks, and the Dynablade was just about to pick up MM when he suddenly shot a Tornado Hold into his mouth, causing Jet to reel back in pain and the twister tore against his gums. MM slid away, but as soon as he got out of the slide, he noticed that Jet was diving straight for him. Thankfully, Rush Cycle drove past, picking up Mega Man right on time. Jet flew right through the rubble, releasing Link and Jon.

"&If I knew that was going to happen, I wouldn't have used so many bombs&," Link thought as the purple aura left Jet, taking the form of Dark Matter, who was on the ground panting.

**End "Kirby SuperStar Boss Theme"**

**MEGA MAN WINS! YOU GOTTEN... MUSHROOM!**

Mega Man sighed. Another mushroom.

"...Zzzzzz... Huh... what... what happened? Did anything happen while I was asleep?"" Jon asked as Dark Matter flew away.

Mega Man explained what happened. "We are at the top of the Butter Buildings... and it seems Jet has agreed to help us." Jet was looking at pictures Link drew to explain everything, and, after looking at them all, motioned for the N-Team to get on his back. They did, and they flew toward the Halberd 2.

-I

-I

After 15 minutes, Jon said, "This is pretty boring. Does anyone want any in-flight music?"

Everyone agreed that it was a good idea, as it couldn't have been much worse than the last song, so Jon activated his Piano E-Card. The piano landed on Jet, and with a shriek, Jet started going down very quickly. Startled, everyone, started reaching around under the piano. Eventually, someone hit the Start button, causing the piano to go back to card mode and Jet to go back up.

"Something tells me you shouldn't do that again," said Link.

-I

-I

"Squaksquakscreeeeee!" screeched Jet.

"We are getting very close to the Halberd, so brace yourself incase of attacks," translated Jon, who put on his translator.

**"Halberd Theme From Kirby SS"**

On cue, hundreds of bullets came flying toward and the nonrobotic members of the N-Team hid behind the safety of Jet's feathers.

"Rush and I will draw the guns' fire. You guys just get on the ship!" Mega Man announced as he jumped on Rush and flew towards the guns, Mega Buster blazing and bullets ricocheting off his armor.

"&You know, I never could understand how bullets have no effect on Mega Man, yet a pair of scissors can kill him if his health is low enough&."

-I

-I

"Sir Metaknight!" yelled Meta Mace.

"The guns seem to have no effect!" yelled Meta Lance.

"Who told you to use to machine guns! Use the vulcan cannons!" yelled Metaknight.

-I

-I

"Hey, the machine guns stopped," Link commented, but after he said that, the sky was littered with plasma blasts.

A bunch of them hit Jet and he fell toward the ground... again. "I think we're close enough for my Longshot to work, so grab on!" yelled Link. Nodding, Jon grabbed onto Link's hat (yes, I'm serious) and they swung onto the ship. "Mega Man can't seem to land! Jon, you're the Game Master, where can we deactivate the weapons?"

"If I remember correctly, the path to the weapons is past that first door. You go there, and I'll check out the first path incase anything important is there," answered Jon.

"'Kay," Link said as the two split up.

As soon as Link leaped over the door, they found themselves surrounded by many Capsule Js (jet enemies). Needless to say, Link beat the crap out of them. Link ran to the weapon control room, which was where the Combo Cannon used to be. However, before he could reach it...

**End "Halberd Theme From Kirby SS"**

-I

-I

**DUNGEON: HALBERD II BELOW DECKS...**

With time paused, Jon walked past many enemies, and he was very happy about the facts that he didn't have to fight and that the path was so linear. Past the area where Kirby first fought Heavy Lobster, Jon had no idea where he was, but eventually he came to a prison area.

"&This must be where they are keeping Kirby&," Jon thought to himself, and sure enough, there was a bit of pink visible behind one of the cells. "&Hmm... there's no lock. That must mean I have to defeat an enemy to unlock the doors&," thought the Game Master as he looked around, still in pause. He then saw some strange distortion. "&Hmm... I recognize that... invisible... thingy&!"

Jon then unpaused and shot a B-Blast at the unsuspecting invisible-thing. The blast hit, knocking him out of his state of invisibility revealing Chameleo Arm, a magenta chameleon that could change colors, and one of the more annoying Kirby bosses.

"Hey, what was that for, man?" the rainbow lizard said.

"You're working for Metaknight!"

"Hey man, calm down! That was like ten years ago, man, I've changed! I'm one of the good guys now!"

"Then why are you guarding the cells?"

"I'm not, man! I was captured and I just escaped!"

"Then where's the guard? ...And how did you escape that lockless door?"

"The guard left to get some tacos, and my prison buddy was a wizard, man."

"Oh... Well, I'll need to defeat you to open the doors, so... yeah..."

"?"

**Battle... BEGIN!**

**"KSS Boss Theme"**

Jon shot an A-Blast, but Chameleo Arm dodged using his long extendo-legs. When CA bounced back, he puffed out his cheeks. Recognizing what was going on, Jon jumped out of the launching tongue's way and countered with an A-shot. It hit, but CA turned invisible and slashed Jon, but suddenly, Jon put up his arms to block it, which he didn't do during the Crash Man fight, and a barrier appeared. Though he was knocked back a little, Jon was surprised, and for a good reason. "What the? Why didn't that hurt? And where did that barrier come from?" As Jon pondered over this, he was run over by the renegade chameleon and was flattened like a pancake. This was Law of Video Game Physics 86 in work, but it still hurt. Jon pressed pause so he could think, but right before time froze, the Game Master was hit by a paint attack from Chameleo Arm, so he was sent flying into the wall. "Gahh... Why was I hurt by that?" he said as he quickly used the Mushroom he got from the hide-and seek minigame.

Suddenly, Toad walked in from off screen in the frozen world and said, "Would you like to learn about the Barrier System?"

In a brief moment of stupidity, Jon said, "Su-"

"**BLARGHBLA/\/\!**" Toad yelled in a similar manner to Andross in Eggplant Wizard's story. A "yes" and "no" appeared in front of Toad like usual and since Jon was actually curious about this barrier thing, he chose "yes".

"Like in the Super Smash Bros. Tournament, you can create a barrier around you to protect you from attacks. By the way, did you know there's a new one coming up? The tournament's biannual, but they've decided to move it up an year due to the popularity of the one last year."

"Are you serious? That's great! Wait, it's biannual? There wasn't a Super Smash Bros. game in 2003!"

"What! You mean they didn't show it in your world! It was the best one yet! 48 fighters, 52 arenas, it was just plain cool!"

"Dammit, how could they not show it in my world? Please tell me it's on DVD!"

"It is, but every copy was sold out and it was so good that no one is willing to sell their copy, not even on eBay!"

"Oh... can I borrow your copy when I get back to the castle?"

"NO!"

"Oh... Say, Toad, did you remember your bazooka this time?"

"No. Why?"

Jon grabbed Toad, unpaused, and threw Toad to Chameleo Arm. They collided, and Toad exploded in spores.

"Screw this, man," yelled Chameleo Arm," You're crazy, man, CRAZY!" He rolled up and dashed away.

**End "KSS Boss Theme"**

**JON WON! YOU GOTTEN... JAIL KEY!**

The bars opened, releasing Kirby. After a reunion, they walked into the next door. After a few rooms, they find themselves back on the deck and see a s---load of enemies.

"That's a big army 0o," Jon pointed out.

"I may be abwe tho kill them all if I hath the Clash abilithy. Tho you see any Clash enemies?" asked Kirby.

"Hang on, I'll check." Jon paused, and immediately (in Kirby's eyes) came back. "I found one. Follow me!"

In a large enclosed room, Jon and Kirby find a single Crash enemy. However, when they got close, a force field suddenly appeared around it.

"I won't let you pass!" yelled Metaknight who jumped down. "Kirby, I challenge both you and the new Game Master to a duel... TO THE DEATH! Since I'm not the Metaknight you know, you will not receive a sword!"

-I

-I

Meanwhile...

"Not so fast!" said two voices. Suddenly, the Poppy Men appeared in front of Link and yelled, "How are you gentleman! All your base are belong to us now! You are on your way to destruction!"

"What you say!" yelled Link.

"There is no-"

"Could you guys hurry up!" yelled Mega Man.

"Oh, right," said Link.

A sign appeared, but it was different than the previous battle signs.

"READY!"

The Poppy Men dashed toward Link, but he jumped out of the way and they fell off the ship.

**LINK WINS! YOU GOTTEN... POPPY BOMB!**

**A large bomb that can be used to blow up weapon control rooms.**

"&...That as amazingly easy&," Link thought as he placed the Poppy Bomb in the weapon control room. It blew up, and all of the weapons on the ship deactivated. After about a minute, Mega Man flew down on Rush.

"Hey, _I_ was going to save Mega Man," Proto Man said as he teleported away.

"... Blues o0? ...Anyway, thank you, Link! Now where's Jon?" Mega Man asked.

-I

-I

**Battle... BEGIN!**

**"Metaknight Battle Theme From KSS"**

Metaknight started off by shooting a crescent of energy emitted from his sword at the two fighters, but Jon and Kirby jumped out of the way. Kirby quickly sucked up Jon and became Laser Kirby and they both shot some blasts at the masked swordsman, but Metaknight used his demonic wings to quickly fly out of the way. He did another sword beam attack, but Jon and Kirby jumped out of the way again. Jon paused and snuck up behind Metaknight, unpaused, and tried to tackle him, but the purple puffball with a mask spun around and created a dark tornado around Jon. Thankfully, Kirby sucked up the tornado, turning into Tornado Kirby. Kirby spun toward Metaknight, but he batted him away with his sword, the Galaxia, and flew after him.

Not wasting a moment, Jon shot a B-Blast at the purple warrior and it hit, so Metaknight focused his attention toward Jon and attempted to stab his sword into his chest. Thankfully, Jon ducked the attack and shot at Metaknight. He was hit, and after he was knocked back, Tornado Kirby spun into him, sending him into the air. Jon shot a B-Blast, keeping Metaknight in the air and causing him to drop Galaxia, his sword. Kirby sucked it up, becoming Galaxia Kirby (the powered-up form of Sword Kirby from the anime), and he shot a sword beam at the masked swordsman, ending the (not too impressive) four hit combo. When Metaknight landed on the ground, his mask was sliced in half and fell off, revealing a purple version of Kirby.

**End "Metaknight Battle Theme From KSS"**

As Metaknight started crying, Jon commented, "That was a lot shorter than I expected, and why hasn't that message saying we won popped up yet... Gah, I shouldn't have said that!"

Suddenly, a purple aura appeared around Metaknight, and the Nightmare's powers took over. A glowing sword of black energy appeared in his hands.

"That's not good o0! He looks like the Nightmare now! Maybe that's what he meant when he said that he wasn't the Metaknight you know!"

**"Nightmare Form 2 Battle Theme From K:NiD"**

Nightmare Metaknight dashed toward Kirby and slashed his new sword, but Kirby managed to block it with the Galaxia. Jon shot a B-Blast, but it bounced harmlessly into the sky, and the augmented Metaknight used the Nightmare's dark star attack. Jon jumped out of the way of the incoming stars, but the resulting explosion knocked him into the wall. It seemed like there was no chance of beating Nightmare Metaknight when suddenly, a beam of light collided with him and he screeched in pain.

**End "Nightmare Form 2 Battle Theme From K:NiD"**

**"Heroic Version Of Hyrule Theme"**

Link and Mega Man jumped down. Link had his bow out, and it was armed with Light Arrows.

"Of course!" exclaimed Jon. "You have to use final weapons to harm creatures like the Nightmare, like the Star Rod or Light Arrows!"

After shooting some more Light Arrows, Metaknight's aura disappeared and the Nightmare flew out into the sky.

**End "Heroic Version Of Hyrule Theme"**

Metaknight himself eventually woke up, not seeing the N-Team due to the fact that he was facing away from them, but he wrapped his cape around him and jumped into the air before he could look back. "He must have teleported away to figure out what's going on by himself," commented Jon.

"SIR METAKNIGHT!" yelled Meta Lance.

"WAIT FOR UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSSS!" yelled Meta Axe as they flew after their leader.

"I guess we can claim this ship for King Game and Watch," commented Link.

However, that proved impossible when the victory pop-up appeared.

**N-TEAM WON! YOU GOTTEN... REALLY BIG BOMB!**

A really big bomb appeared behind the N-Team and started ticking. "..." everyone said at once.

"Maybe this was the reason Metaknight left..." Jon said.

Acting quickly, Link yelled, "Farore's Wind!" and everyone disappeared just as the bomb exploded, destroying the ship known as the Halberd II.

-I

-I

The N-Team reappeared in front of the Presidential Castle, where it was now some time in the afternoon. "Thank you, Wink! In facth, all of you thith a gooth job! I guess I shoulth rethurn tho my worlth now," said Kirby. After some goodbyes, Toad threw down the warp to Popstar and Kirby walked in.

"I guess this is goodbye for you guys too," said Jon.

"Actually, I liked being part of a team again," commented Mega Man, who then switched out of his armor. "I think I may be able to convince Dr. Light to let me stay here, since Dr. Wily seems to have teamed up with Mother Brain."

"What do you mean," asked Jon. "I didn't see anything that could have hinted that Wily's involved in this, besides when he attacked the castle, and that may have been a coincidence."

"Actually, when Link 'fought' the Poppy Bros. Sr.s, or 'Poppy Men' to be more exact, I noticed that they used the same battle start signs as the other robot masters."

"What about you, Link?" asked Jon.

"Well, you _do_ seem to need a magic user and someone to keep the Captain N name respectable, so I guess I'll stay. Besides, I already have the perfect person to take care of things in Hyrule while I'm gone," said Link.

-I

-I

"Quick, just a few more rooms until we reach Princess Zelda's room and we can kill her!" said a guy to his partner as he walked down the hallways of Hyrule Castle. However, when he reached the door, he heard a sound... a demonic sound from the very pits of hell.

"Hey! Look here! Listen! Hey! Look here! Listen! Hey! Look here! Listen! Hey! Look here! Listen! Hey! Look here! Listen! Hey! Look here! Listen! Hey! Look here! Listen! Hey! Look here! Listen! Hey! Look here! Listen! Hey! Look here! Listen! Hey! Look here! Listen! Hey! Look here! Listen! Hey! Look here! Listen! Hey! Look here! Listen! Hey! Look here! Listen! Hey! Look here! Listen!" screeched Navi.

"GAHHHHHHHHH! IT BURNS! MY EARS ARE BLEEDING!" screamed the killers as they ran away.

-I

-I

"So everyone is staying?" asked Jon. They all nodded. "I guess I'll tell King Game and Watch about this."

Jon walked into the throne room. "Did you complete the mission?" asked King Game and Watch, who apparently finished his work.

"Yeah, we stopped Metaknight and his crew!"

"Metaknight? I never told you to go after him! I told you to see what the Dark Matter was doing!"

"Dark Matter? He was possessing the Dynablades living on the Butter Buildings."

"Butter Buildings? He wasn't at the Fountain of Dreams?"

"Fountain of Dreams? Gah! With Metaknight attacking, I completely forgot about it!"

"King Game and Watch," yelled a Waddle Dee guard, "reports have come in that the Star Rod was stolen by a large Space Pirate battleship! As a result, no one can dream anymore!"

"**GAME MASTER!**" yelled Toad.

"Uh... Sorry?" said Jon.

-I

-I

NEXT TIME ON CAPTAIN N: 2004!

**"Instrumental Version Of Captain N 2004 Theme Song"**

"After a check-up with Dr. Mario, it is revealed that there's actually a reason why there is a delay in my pause- I haven't adapted to this world's physics. For me to get used to this world's physics, I must go through special training from Super Mario RPG's Jinx. However, when Mr. Nintendo himself, Mario, pays a visit to Monstro Town, the Axem Rangers get their revenge in their new megazord! How can me and the N-Team compete with that!"

"Be sure to watch/read Captain N Level 3: Time For Crime Force!"

"If you don't understand the reference behind the title, the Power Rangers Time Force 'morphing phrase' was 'Time for Time Force!'."

-I

-I

Episode 2 FAQ

Q: Why was Alucard removed?

A: I decided that with some of the rules introduced later, Alucard appearing makes no sense at all. When the first version of this story (not the group fic) was written, the most recent Castlevania game was Lament of Innocence, in which, as far as I know, Alucard was not born yet, so Alucard appearing would conflict with the rules that will be established in Ch. 4. I could have explained it by saying that Alucard is in leagues with

Q: What was with Proto Man making that cameo when Mega Man flew onto the Halberd after Link deactivated the weapons?

A: It was a reference to the group fic, which had Proto Man rescue Mega Man.

Q: Is the Star Rod being stolen ever going to be brought up again?

A: Of course it will! Do you think I'd just forget something like that!


	3. Time For Crime Force! DX Version 2

The symbol "&" will show the thoughts of characters.

"-I" will act as a section break.

"-" has replaced all astericks, which do not show up here.

Jon woke up to knocking. Really loud knocking. He yelled for whoever was doing it to stop, but it didn't. Grumbling, he got up and opened the door. No one was there. Jon then attempted to go back to sleep, but he found that the sun didn't like him, as it suddenly gained an angry face, whirled around a few times, dived through the window, knocked Jon out of bed, and crashed through the ceiling back to it's original position. Jon was shocked, which goes without saying, but he ultimately decided that he should get out of the room before the Angry Sun came back. He looked in Link and Mega Man's rooms, but no one was there. Shrugging, he went back into his room and warped to the kitchen. He would ask about the Angry Sun after some breakfast. However, when he opened the fridge, instead of some food, there was a giant talking mushroom.

"Game Master, didn't you get the message?" asked Toad.

"What message?"

"**Check your Game Boy Advance!** You should have gotten an e-mail!" Toad yelled.

"First it can play games, then it can hold items, and now it can receive e-mails?"

"It also has access to your world's Internet along with a link cable to access this world's Internet, once you get a net-navi."

"Okay, let's see."

_Help, N-Team, there is a huge army of Robot Masters stationed right outside of the castle! We need assistance immediately! _

_Signed, Waddle Dee Commander of Division 3._

_Dated Yesterday at 6:00_

"What the! Why didn't you tell me about this _yesterday_! So this is why no one was here before!"

"I couldn't find you."

"Couldn't find me? I was eating dinner with you at 7!"

"... Oh, right. My mistake. Well... you didn't _have_ to eat dinner!"

"So, is the battle still going on?"

"Yeah, but everyone was knocked out or killed! Thankfully, the only Robot Master left is Toad Man, so GO GET HIM!" Toad then threw a Warp Capsule into Jon's face.

"But Toad, my controller is still in my room! And what's with the Angry Sun!" said Jon as the capsule exploded and he was sent outside.

**Now Loading...**

**LEVEL THREE: Time For Crime Force!**

**Because Magic And Crayons Do Not Mix...**

Jon looked around to see tons of unconscious bodies, including Link and Mega Man's, along with Robot Master parts. However, in this stillness, he saw something move.

**"Toad Man's Theme"**

"CROOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAK Wily will be so proud of me! Now to get inside the castle, tentacle rape all of the girls with my tongue, and claim the castle in the name of Wily ribbit!" Toad Man said as he hopped toward the castle and spontaneously started posing as the robot master jingle boomed out of speakers on his sides.

"&Toad Man, huh? Even without my gun and controller, this should be easy! I'll just steal a weapon from someone, attack Toad Man while he tries to do the Rain Flush, and I'll kill him in no time&!" Jon thought. He went up to Link and tried to take the Master Sword, but as soon as he touched it, electricity shot out from it and the force sent Jon rocketing into Toad Man. "&XX Gah... I should have guessed that only Link can use the Master Sword&."

**End "Toad Man's Theme"**

**READY!**

**"Mega Man 4 Boss Theme"**

"CROOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAK That hurt!" Toad Man yelled.

"&You know, I seem to have a strange tendency to meet up with people with speaking disabilities&," Jon pointed out to himself.

"For crashing into me, ribbit, I shall tentacle rape j00!" Toad Man said as he started powering up the Rain Flush by dancing.

"Wait, I thought you were going to rape me."

"CROOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAK I am!" Toad Man said as he continued powering up/dancing.

"Sorry, but I don't see the connection between acid rain and tentacle rape."

"You'll see soon enough, ribbit."

Jon then walked up to Toad Man and kicked him with his weak nerdy legs.

"CROOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAK You made me mess up! Now I have to start all over again, ribbit!"

"&This should give me enough time to find another weapon&," Jon thought as he looked around and grabbed a spear one of the Waddle Dees was holding. He yelled, "Ha**HA!**" as he thrust the spear into Toad Man's body, only to have the weapon fall apart.

"CROOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAK You made me mess up! Now I have to start all over again, ribbit!"

"&Not only does everyone here have speech impediments, but they repeat themselves, too&!" Jon thought as he tapped Toad Man's forehead.

"CROOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAK You made me mess up! Now I have to start all over again, ribbit!"

Jon looked around for a weapon that would actually do some damage when he suddenly remembered something.

_"CROOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAK That hurt!"_ Jon remembered Toad Man saying after he crashed into him. Thus, Jon walked up to Link and tried to steal the Master Sword again, causing him to, yet again, rocket into the Robot Master, causing quite a large dent. He did this one more time, but he then he decided that it hurt too much, so he decided to look for a different weapon. He soon found that he had trouble moving around and tried to lean on a rock so he could recover, but it turned out that he accidentally missed and instead grabbed onto the Master Sword again, causing him to crash into Toad Man just as the Rain Flush started. Out of irony, he was standing right next to a super shotgun as he leaned against the sword again. Toad Man shattered into several metaorbs and only a few drops came from the cloud formed by the Rain Flush, none of which hit anything important.

"XX," Jon said as he was knocked out.

**"Mega Man 4 Boss Theme"**

NO ONE WINS! YOU GOTTEN... NOTHING!

-I

-I

"Wily!" yelled Mother Brain in her deep mechanical voice as her single eye flashed open.

"What about me ;;?" asked King Hippo, who somehow got onto the ship.

"And me ;;?" also asked Eggplant Wizard.

The giant brain simply ignored them.

"Yes, Mother Brain?" asked Dr. Wily, who ran over with Bass and Treble.

"Why did you attack the castle again?" Mother Brain asked in an angry voice.

"I thought I could make up for not getting the cartridge by trying again," answered Wily.

"Idiot! The King would have moved it to a safer location by now! You shall be punished for your stupidity!" Mother Brain said as she shot a huge laser blast at him. However, Wily stepped out of the way... yeah.

"Sorry, but I don't feel like getting punished," responded Wily.

"WHAT! HOW DARE YOU REFUSE A DIRECT ORDER!" Mother Brain said in the exact same tone and volume as before, but you could tell she was angry due to her angry eye.

"Heh, the most complex biological computer in all of Nintendo doesn't remember one of the events she scheduled. Today's our day off!" exclaimed Bass as he pulled out a calendar as held it up to Mother Brain's jar.

"What! A day off! I don't remember scheduling this!" Mother Brain yelled in vain, as Treble transformed into a jet, which Wily and Bass jumped on, flew into Wily's UFO, which then shot off somewhere.

"Ooh! Ooh! Can we go?" yelled Eggplant Wizard as he raised his hand.

"Of course you can go! You don't even work for me!"

"No, what EG means is, can we go to that planet you were just talking about!" yelled King Hippo.

"I wasn't talking about a planet!"

"No, we mean that planet that wasn't paying its protection fee! I think it was called Yavin XV or something," said Eggplant Wizard.

"Why would I send you there! The only time you even bother to 'help' is at the most inappropriate times, like last time when you turned Smithy, from the Seven Star incident in the Mushroom Kingdom into an eggplant just because his beard was 'big and scary'! Besides, that was already taken care of weeks ago, so why are you bringing it up NOW!

"... Can we still go there?"

"So you want to go to a depressing, cold mining planet where everyone is in poverty?"

"Of course! Beating up poor people is fun!"

"Especially when they're tired and old!" added King Hippo. "I like to go up to old poor people on the street and give them the old one-two, and they're all like, 'Huh? Who are you! Why are you attacking me? HELP, POLICE!' but I'm all like beating the crap out of him and the police and the old poor guy and him and the police, plus the old guy, at the same time and I like do a pile driver on him and he's all like, "AAAAAAHHHHHHH! MY SPLEEN!" and this pisses me off and I yell, "You should be thankful that you had a spleen in the first place!" and I go all berserk on him while crying tears of anger, then he punches me in the bandage that covers the place I have food injected into my stomach in, and you know, it hurts and stuff, but I keep going, and right before I make the final hit, he's all like, 'Please, I have a family that I have to support!' but I'm all like, 'My family can beat up your family any day of the week!' and I smash his head in, and then I have EP turn him into an eggplant and I eat him."

"...Space Pirates, take them away!"

A group of Flying Space Pirates appeared, grabbed the two idiots, and tossed them into an old, run-down spaceship. The ship then shot off to some random planet, the Space Pirates didn't care which. The region-warp on the ship also activated, sending them to a different region.

-I

-I

"Ugh... don't tell me I was knocked out _again_!" exclaimed Jon as he slowly awoke in Dr. Mario's office. At this point, he noticed that Toad was slowing approaching him with club, and thus burst out of the office.

Jon wasn't sure, but he thought he heard Toad say, "I'm gonna shove that 'again' up your wang!"

Suddenly, a message appeared in front of the still running Jon.

**"To complete this minigame, you must find Dr. Mario somewhere in the castle and get to him before Toad reaches you! If you are caught by Toad, you will be knocked out and you have to start over again!"** the message said.

"This is a minigame o0! I didn't agree to this!" yelled Jon.

**"When you first appeared, you signed a document stating that you automatically accept any minigame challenges given to you by Dr. Mario, Toad, or King Game and Watch,"** the message replied as the text changed.

"When I first appeared! But I was unconscious then!"

**"...And? By the way, it'd probably be a good idea to speed up."** Right after this appeared, Toad conked Jon on the head.

Suddenly, Jon woke up. "Ugh... What the hell was that o0?" Jon then noticed that Toad once again approached him with a club, so Jon, again, ran out of the room, though the hallways, searching for any sign of a moustache, when he passed Link.

"Game Master? Why are you running?" he asked as he ran after the Game Master.

"Toad's -pant- chasing me and I have to find Dr. Mario -pant-! Have you seen him!"

"Dr. Mario? Did you check his office?"

"His office! But -pant- that's where I started out!"

Link then smacked Jon on the back of his head. "Didn't you look behind you!"

"Look -pant- behind me! But... wait, I have to rest a bit...," Jon said panting as he leaned against a wall.

"You're tired already!" Link asked like getting tired due to running was against all logic. Suddenly, Toad smashed Jon on the head again.

Later, Jon became conscious again and once again saw Toad walking toward him with a club. The Game Master was about to run, but he remembered what Link said and looked behind the table he was on. "&There's nothing here but a closet... Wait&!" Jon thought as he opened the closet and... the dead body of Dr. Mario fell on him. "o0"

**MINIGAME COMPLETED! YOU GOTTEN... DR. MARIO'S SOUL!**

"o0 W... T... F!" Jon said as the soul went into Dr. Mario and he came back to life.

"Mama-mia, you've-a completed the-a minigame!" the now alive Dr. Mario said as he got up.

"... Yeah, I know that, thanks to the giant pop-up screen. Now is there any reason Toad killed you? Wait... is Toad still behind me?"

"No, he-a walked out of-a my field of vision-a," answered the doctor, "and-a Toad killed-a me so we could-a conduct an experiment on-a you-a. According to-a Link, during-a your battle-a with Metaknight, you had a very hard time, so we-a tested your-a endurance, along-a with other-a stuff, and-a it seems that your-a transition from-a the Real-a World to-a this-a one was-a very incomplete, much-a like Kevin. Basically-a, when you-a came to Nintendo-a, instead of fully adapting to-a our physics, you-a still retained some of-a the Real-a World's physics!"

"Is that much of a problem? Kevin Keene seemed to do okay. ...Wait, if Real World physics still apply to me, than how did I survive that fall in Dreamland?"

"I-a said only _some_ Real-a World properties remain, and it seems that you were, in fact, the most heavily wounded of everyone there! Also-a, it was a-a much simpler time when-a Kevin was-a here, and-a you could easily-a get by with just-a a weapon, but-a times have-a changed. There are-a many more worlds-a, and no worlds as-a 'strange and random-a' as Dreamland and other-a worlds existed when-a Kevin was here, so yes-a, it is-a a very big problem-a."

"Is there anything you can do about it?"

"Well, I can't-a do anything myself-a, but-a my cousin, Mario Mario-a, knows someone who can. I'll-a write down the directions and-a set up an-a appointment-a."

Doctor gave Jon the directions. "By the way," the Game Master asked, "is there any reason there's an Angry Sun knocking me out of bed?"

"Toad thought-a you were-a sleeping too much, and he was-a too-a lazy to-a get an-a alarm clock, so he-a had Mr. Chavéz, the-a look-out, wake you-a up."

"That's his name?"

"Yes-a, Mr. Rico Chavéz. Angry Suns have names too."

"So all monsters have names?"

"...Yes-a, of course they-a do! What makes you-a think otherwise?"

"...Huh...," Jon said in a I-didn't-know-that-voice.

-I

-I

"So Wily, this is the first day off you've had since Mother Brain rehired you. What are you going to do?" asked Bass as Wily's spaceship flew through space to Mega Man's section of Nintendo.

"Eh, I think I'll just relax, stay home, and eat chips," Wily answered.

"You know, once Nightmare recovers, he's probably going to get you for giving him faulty Robot Masters."

"Hey, is it my fault that the Poppy Men accidentally jumped off the ship? Oh, and we're only a few miles away from the Skull Fortress!"

After landing, Wily, Bass, and Treble stepped out into the desert. The Skull Fortress looked like any other, with the purple main tower having a large white skull and two secondary towers to its sides, the one on the left being larger. They came up to the entrance only to find a government agent right in front of it.

"What! Who are you!" exclaimed Wily.

"I am FBI Agent Victor Von Killdeath," Killdeath said as he pulled out his badge. "Are you Dr. Albert Wily?"

"Uhhh... Yes. Why are you here? Did I do something wrong?" Wily had deleted all mentions of the Robot Rebellions from every one of his government profiles, so no one would think he was evil, so he could buy stuff... and stuff like that. Strange way of thinking, but it apparently worked.

"Apparently, you haven't been paying the lease for this umm... Skull Fortress lately, for an year, really, so we are repossessing this property."

"WHAT! YOU CAN'T DO THAT!"

"You know, maybe you should have been directing our income from our job with that giant brain to _this_ little problem instead of imported pocky," Bass suggested.

"But it's so good ;;"

"Don't worry, there are TONS of vacant apartments nowadays, I'm sure you can find one," Victor said.

"Wait, why did they send an FBI agent to tell me this?"

Killdeath shrugged.

"Anyway, WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH ALL OF MY ROBOTS!"

"These are your robots? They remind me of the ones that attacked the world over the years. One of them killed my parents."

"Uhhhhh... I can explain..."

"You collect them, don't you?"

"Uhhhhh... YEAH! The one that keeps attacking is my evil twin brother, and when the _great_ Mega Man defeats his robots, I retrieve them and reprogram them for good... yeah... Anyway, again, WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THEM!"

"You figure that out yourself, I'm just an FBI agent that has so few people's respect that they send me to do stuff like this," Agent Victor Von Killdeath said as he ran into his car crying and drove away.

"He's not going to gain anyone's respect by doing that," Wily said.

"I don't suppose you had anything planned for _this_, did you Wily?" said Bass.

"Wait... I think I know what to do with all of the Robot Masters!" Wily exclaimed. He then called all of the Robot Masters outside and explained the situation.

"... However, it seems that there are WAY too many of you for my to take to the apartment we have to move to. Thankfully, I have come up with the perfect solution," Wily said as he brought out a machine gun and started shooting at his Robot Masters, but instead of shooting bullets, it shot out pokéballs. "I caught a Slash Man! I caught a Metal Man! I caught a Wave Man! I caught a Bright Man! I caught a--"

"Wily, could you please stop? You're lowering my IQ." requested Bass.

"Okay, I'll stop with the 'I caught a' thing," Wily said as he continued shooting pokéballs.

When all of the robot masters were captured, Bass commented, "Okay, now we're knee deep in pokéballs. How are we going to carry all of these!"

"I'll just have RMK007 carry it for us," Wily answered as he pushed a big green button.

"RMK? You mean you built another robot in the Rock Man Killer series? I was under the assumption that me and Treble were the last ones!"

"First came Enker, then came Quint, then Punk, then came Ballade, after that Bass and Treble, and now, the newest Rock Man Killer... POKÉ MAN!" Wily yelled as a strange robot teleported down ( look in the reviews section for a picture ).

"...You have _GOT_ to be ----ing kidding me!"

"Poké Man, gather up the pokéballs in your complex Selection Shot System blaster!"

Poké Man simply groaned as he picked up each pokéball, opened up his blaster arms, and put them in.

"I guess we better look for an apartment now," Wily said as he opened up his newspaper.

-I

-I

In a strange desert nowhere near the one Wily was in, a warp suddenly appeared, and a red convertible drove out of it.

**OVERWORLD: LAND'S END...**

**"Land's End Theme From Super Mario RPG**

"Okay, right now we're in the Land's End area of the Mushroom Kingdom," said Jon, who was is the back seat of the car. "Just drive into every sand whirl that has a giant ant and we'll eventually get to a path with giant lizards. After that, we'll reach a golden path and there will be an elevator. To activate the elevator, pay the mage and hit the heads until you get a note about being hungry. Then, go down to elevator, follow the path, and we will reach our destination, Monstro Town! I'll be taking a nap during the drive, since the doctor would most likely want me rested before the operation."

"You know, why couldn't we just warp directly to Monstro Town?" asked Link, who was driving, being the only one over 16 with a driver's license.

"There are no direct warps to Monstro Town because the citizens are fearful that they may be attacked, since while the city is full of reformed monsters, they're still monsters. It's all part of The Treaty of Gibdos Joe," said Rock, who was in the passenger's seat.

"Whatever," Link replied as he started driving, running over every giant ant he finds.

**End "Land's End Theme From Super Mario RPG**

-I

-I

"So, Bass, what do you think of the apartment?" Wily asked.

"Kind of small, isn't it?" replied Bass. "I doubt that more than three people could even _fit_ in here, neither less live here!" Poké Man nodded in agreement.

"It's not that bad! It will be perfectly adequate for our needs!"

"Oh right, I see now! The generator could be in that corner, the launch pad could be on that extra bed, me and Poké's sleeping pods could be in that 6 inch space over there, and Yellow Devil could guard that square next to the door! Why couldn't I see this before!"

"Exactly my point!"

"Say Wily, why don't you have one of the Robot Masters look around the apartment so they can tell the others how great it is!"

"That's not a bad idea! But why don't you choose the Robot Master? I'm bad at decisions."

"How about... Toad Man?"

"Why not? Poké Man, release Toad Man!" Poké Man, who seemed to notice something Wily didn't, somehow grinned as he threw the pokéball and released Toad Man. "Huh? Toad Man's still wrecked from that invasion of the castle!"

"Pokéball, go!" Bass yelled as he threw Toad Man's pokéball at Wily.

"What the?" Wily gasped as he was hit by the pokéball and sucked in.

"I caught a Wily!" Bass exclaimed, mocking Wily.

Poké Man seemed to be happy.

"What? Are you saying that you're happy that Wily's in that pokéball?"

Poké Man nodded.

"So, you say he's an annoying, senile old man that only created you through a fluke and, in reality, he is a worthless inventor that can't make things worth crap, and the only reason you haven't killed him yet is because of the First Law?"

Poké Man made a gesture as if to say "I wouldn't go that far, but yeah, pretty much."

"... You know, forget what I said earlier about Wily having to be kidding to make you, you have some serious potential, and with me as your teacher, there shall be a new era of Wily-bashing!"

Poké Man looked happy.

"But first, we _REALLY_ need to come up with a new name for you! I mean, _Poké Man_? Could that name get any stupider!"

Poké Man nodded in agreement, but then he started thinking, and he raised his index finger up and his eyes lit.

"You're right, your new name needs to be music related and be misspelled. How about... Jazz?"

Poké Man shook his head.

"Yeah, I guess that name's better for a Slash Man recolor. How about Bebop?"

Poké Man shook his head.

"You don't want to be confused with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles villain? Okay, then how about... Disco?"

Poké Man pointed his finger up.

"... Wait, it has to be misspelled, so how about... Diskoe?"

Diskoe's body lit up like a disco ball and some random funky song played.

"Okay, so now we've settle on the name, now to get rid of all of those pointless gimmicks and make you look cooler! Let's see what we can find in that pile of junk Wily brought... hmmmm... 'Costume Buster'? With this being one of Wily's inventions, there's no way this will work... wait, 'Copyright Gadd Industries'? Now there's actually a chance that it could work!" Bass held his hand to the Costume Buster and absorbed it into his weapon systems. "Now Diskoe, unless Wily bought a third-rate Costume Buster for only 18 cents, which, knowing him, he probably did, this shouldn't hurt at all." Bass activated the Costume Buster and a rainbow colored blast of light hurtled its way toward the newest Rock Man Killer. There was a big flash of light and Diskoe appeared with a new look (Look in the reviews for a picture).

"What you know, that actually worked o0"

Diskoe looked in the mirror. He looked at Bass, bringing to attention that he now has no face.

"It will have to do for now, let's go KILL MEGAMAN!"

Diskoe's eye (look at the button) lit up a few times.

"Yeah, I guess we have more pressing issues to attend to, so let's go FIND A BETTER APARTMENT!"

Bass, Diskoe, and Treble, who was there, despite not doing anything, ran out of the apartment with Wily's pokéball.

-I

-I

"Jon... wake up," Rock said.

"Huh... are we there already?" asked Jon.

"No," said Link. "There's a giant yellow dog-thing blocking the way. I tried running over him, but he's apparently too big. I would have chopped him in half, but Rock thought it would be better to ask you what it is, with you being a Game Master and all."

Jon looked up to see a giant dog-thing. "Oh, that's Belome. He guards the entrance to Monstro Town and has 1200 HP, 120 ATK, 80 DEF, 20 MATK, 40 MDEF, he has Super Defense against Sleep, his Weakness is Thunder, he gives 41 EXP, 20 COINS, and no items. I was under the assumption he was dead, so I didn't say anything about him."

"1200 HP? It's going to take a while to defeat him," Rock said. "Is there anything else about him we should know?"

"Well, Belome attacks by licking or eating his opponents, and he will spit you out if you struggle, but then he will be able to produce a weaker clone of you to attack you. He also knows a few magic attacks, including one that turns you into a scarecrow that can't physically attack or use items, but can still dodge and perform magic attacks."

"He attacks by eating?" Link said as he reached into his pouch, "...Then thank god I brought my LINK BAD TASTE SPRAY!" The Hero of Time then sprayed everyone.

"Do you have an Adamwestbatmanian supply of these sprays somewhere or something?" Jon asked.

"Actually, I just bought this at a joke store for Rock. I think he was going to apply it to your dinner or something."

"Uhh... no I wasn'-," Rock almost said in a way that made it obvious that he was lying, but Belome took this time to lunge at him and swallowed him whole as Jon and Link recoiled in shock. However, he almost immediately spit him back out.

"Bleagh! As hungry as I am, I could never eat this stuff!" Belome said, and he repeated this as he ate and spit out Link and Jon.

Once everyone was spit out, Belome told them to go away since they tasted so bad... and stuff, so the N-Team hopped into the convertible and drove down the road to Monstro Town.

Eventually, they came up to a crossroad after the sign saying:

**"OVERWORLD: MONSTRO TOWN CROSSROADS..."**

"Crossroads? There's nothing about this in the directions," Link mentioned.

"Dr. Mario probably hasn't been here in a while. Still, it should be easy to figure out," Jon said, pointing out another sign saying where the crossroads lead. "I should be heading to Shiitake Town, you two can go to Little Hyrule while I'm at the doctor's office or something."

"Okay, me and Link will take the car and you can ride Rush to Shiitake Town. Rush has the coordinates memorized, so he should take you straight to the building," Rock said as Rush teleported down and Link's car drove away.

"...Actually, I was kind of hoping you could drop me off first...," Jon said in vain as the car went down the other road. The Game Master looked at Rock's dog, which just transformed into a motorcycle. "I wonder what I should be worrying about more, people noticing that I don't have a license or people noticing that I'm 'riding' a dog." Jon shrugged, got on Rush, and drove down the road.

-I

-I

Link parked the car in a parking lot near the city border and the two riders stepped out.

"Well Rock, welcome to Hyrule! ... Or at least an imitation of it... Wait, something's wrong," Link said as he looked at his surroundings, expecting to find the rolling green hills and flowerbeds he was used to, but instead found lifeless dirt, dreary buildings, and clouds of dust. "This doesn't look like Hyrule! This looks more like a dungeon!"

**DUNGEON: LITTLE HYRULE...**

**"Shadow Temple Theme From LoZ: OoT"**

"Link, you have to remember that this is a home for reformed _monsters_, so they will obviously recreate their previous homes, or dungeons," pointed out Rock.

"You know, I'm beginning to regret coming here in the first place," said Link.

"While we're here, we might as well look around."

**End "Shadow Temple Theme From LoZ: OoT"**

As the two walked down the path, they eventually came up to a giant pig. "Moblin!" Link yelled as he drew his sword and almost ran to the moblin, but Rock held him back.

"Remember, _reformed_ monsters Link," Rock said. "Maybe we could ask him for directions."

"Directions? To where?" asked Link.

"We could find out where to buy a map," suggested Rock.

"-sigh- Okay, fine," Link said as he stealth-fully walked up to the moblin, hand on his sword, and asked, "Uhh... Excuse me, but do you know where we could find a map?"

"... Is there any reason you're trying to sneak up on me?" asked the moblin.

"Uhh..."

"...Anyway, you'd probably want a dungeon map, so let me write down some directions to a place where you can buy one. Would you like a compass with it that, too?"

"Uhh... sure..."

As the moblin wrote down the directions, he commented, "You know, green guy, you look really familiar. Do I know you?"

"Well, I _am_ the Hero of Time, if that's what you mean," Link answered in a cocky voice. Rock took the note from the moblin.

"Wait a second," the monster paused. "Calls himself the Hero of Time, the green outfit, the sword, it all fits! **YOU'RE THE ONE WHO KILLED MY FAMILY!**"

"...Sorry?"

"HEY GUYS!" the moblin yelled to the houses. "LOOK WHO'S HERE!" On cue, almost every type of monster Link ever faced, including bosses, popped their heads out of their doors and ran out with pitchforks when they saw Link.

Link was about to draw his sword, but Rock stopped him. "Link, remember that these 'monsters' are protecting by the law, and besides, taking on all of them would be a _very_ stupid thing to do, even with my help."

"Well aren't _they_ breaking the law by attacking us!"

"Yeah, they are, but I don't think they care. By the way, shouldn't we be running?"

Link and Rock started running.

-I

-I

**OVERWORLD: SHIITAKE TOWN...**

"Shyguy, Super Koopa, Banzai Bill, Lakitu, Spike Top, Boo, Twomp...," Jon identified every enemy he passed as Rush drove down the road. Some of the buildings were similar to the built-into-the-wall apartments in Super Mario RPG's Monstro Town, while others were like the mushroom houses in Mario & Luigi's Little Fungitown. Eventually, the Rush Cycle stopped in front of a traditional Japanese house, with the paper walls and sliding doors, etc. "This is the place? This doesn't look like a doctor's office," Jon said as he got off Rush. However, when Rush transformed back to his base form, he barked at a building across the street. "Huh? What is it?" Jon asked. He looked across the street to find a doctor's office. "Oh... never mind."

Rush waited outside as Jon walked to the front counter. "Uh, excuse me, I believe I have an appointment. My name is Jon Jones, and I'm the Game Master," Jon said, showing the lady at the counter, who happened to be a goomba, his controller and GBA.

"... ID please," the lady at the counter said.

"... Doesn't my controller count as ID? I'm pretty sure no one else has one."

"..."

"..."

From outside, a compartment on Rush's back opened up and a card shot through the open door and into Jon's GBA.

**YOU GOTTEN... ID CARD!**

**Use this ID card as ID for stuff. It has proof that you are a Game Master.**

"...I guess this is self explanatory," Jon said as he selected the ID Card on his GBA and it appeared in front of the goomba.

"Ah yes, Mr. Jones, the doctor has been expecting you. Just go down this hallway, turn left, and take the second door on right."

Jon walked into the room and sat down on a chair, waiting for the doctor. "&I wonder if the receptionist had this doctor confused with someone else," thought Jon as he waited, "I don't think this counts as being expected&."

After a few minutes, the door suddenly opened and closed. "?" Jon said. "Huh? Did... someone just come in here?"

Jon looked around and eventually noticed a small yellow ball with a doctor's outfit below it, and some funky green hair in the shape of a boomerang. "Wait, you're Jinx from Super Mario RPG! Now I get it, you are going to use kung-fu to somehow change my physics!"

"That is that it will not do, those which I think exactly," Jinx said in Engrish.

"...What?"

"Follow to me exactly in the next following room."

"Wait, just one question."

"It is?"

"...I'll assume that means 'Yes?' so... why are you a doctor?"

"It was good, that small-numbered year... started before..."

Translation: Well, it all started a few years ago...

Flashback...

"As for me teaching class, giving, the dragon of Knockback and the private lesson of my unique combination of plumber jump as died and when master of the temple of that ninja which crosses ninja order becomes disjointed, the style which is known as dragon style of jump. I thought that we would like to buy the temple because of a quantity where the student I always increase but when I start because of auction, you stumbled to the tube of metal, to small-numbered valuable second my traveling and the bus which being able to delay me lets escape at on was ended, therefore I make use my ancient car for obtaining in auction. However, until I arrived there, the temple attitude, being refined, was already sold out in snifits of five teen of the red robot, and my eternal opposition Waxon. As for me I did not become aware me and being the master of me kung-fu was not worthy of to the tube of the metal which was made to stumble because of that, therefore as for me doctor' It made the responsibility of of my helplessness which buys the temple because of the fact that now you obtained s and work here. Now, follow to me exactly in the following room."

Translation: I was teaching classes and giving personal lessons on my unique combination of the Knockback Dragon and Plumber Jump styles, known as the Leaping Dragon style, when the master of that ninja temple across the street from here deceased and the ninja order fell apart. I wanted to buy the temple due to my ever increasing number of students, but when I set out for the auction, I tripped over a metal pipe, delaying my trip by a few precious seconds and I ended up missed the bus, so I was forced to use my ancient car to get to the auction. However, by the time I got there, the temple was already auctioned off to five teenage snifits with attitudes, a sassy red robot, and my eternal rival Waxon. I blamed my inability to buy the temple on account of the fact that I did not notice the metal pipe that I tripped over and because of that, I did not deserve to be a kung-fu master, so I got a doctor's degree and work here now. Now, just follow me into the next room.

Jon was starting to get used to Jinx's peculiar dialect and _almost_ understood him, but not quite. He followed the former kung-fu master to the next room.

Jinx said something in Engrish that translated to this, "Truth be told, I'm not exactly sure why Dr. Mario sent you to me—I'm not any better than him. I suppose he thought that I would use my karate skills too. Seriously, just because I'm a skilled fighter doesn't mean I can cure people with it! I can't give you anything beyond the advanced treatment, but I might be able to recommend a better doctor after I test you.

"Uh, yeah, sure," Jon said, catching only the last few words.

-I

-I

Meanwhile, in the temple-thingy across the street, a giant green head in a tube was meditating over something while an annoying red robot constantly yelled, "Ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai!" while trying to get his computer to work. Suddenly, the giant green head opened his eyes and spoke in a deep, cheesy voice. "Big Al, who works as my lackey and I dislike very much, but not more than my students who I teach, get the five teenage snifits with attitudes, of whom I teach very well yet dislike very much despite their very large amount of attitude, of whom nobody has more of."

"Ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai! Yes Waxon! Ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai!" Big Al yelled as he ran out of the typical Ancient Japanese room in the typical Ancient Robotian fashion of waving his arms around wildly while screaming, "Ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai!"

Soon, the five teenage snifits with attitudes ran into the room along with Big Al and some strange silent guy with hair not too dissimilar to Spike's from Cowboy Bebop.

"Who is this strange looking teenager clearly lacking in teenage snifit attitude whom I do not recognize yet is still standing in front of the tube which I am in despite me not recognizing him?" asked Waxon.

"...Like...," the female snifit with attitude said in a valley girl accent while wearing a pink outfit.

"Heheheheheh...Kiiiiiilllllll..." said another snifit, this time a fat male and wearing yellow, said as he pulled out a knife and tried to stab the teenager without attitude, but he was held back by a third snifit wearing red.

"DUDES! I WILL HOLD BACK YELLOW WITH MY BIG MUSCLES, WHICH! I LIKE TO FIGHT WITH! TRY! TO FIGURE OUT WHO THE NEW GUY IS WHILE! I! HOLD YELLOW BACK WITH MY BIG MUSCLES THAT I USE! NOT ONLY TO FIGHT WITH BUT! TO ATTRACT! GIRLS WITH! DUDE!"

Another snifit with attitude, this time male wearing a green outfit, pushed up his glasses, pulled out a calculator, and punched in a few numbers. "According to my calculations, only 6.5 of women consider you mildly _alluring_ or _charismatic_," he said, looking toward something to his left every time he said an italicized word.

"Day-um man, wat da hell are you doin'!" said the last snifit, who was wearing black and sunglasses.

"What do you _adumbrate_?" the snifit wearing green said as he looked somewhere as he used adumbrate incorrectly.

"You gonna tell me wazzup wit tat lookin' 'round before I start pimp slappin' you, foo!"

"-Snort- I'm sorry, but it's too _intricate_ for you to _comprehend_," the one in green said as he continued looking somewhere every time he said an italicized word.

"**DUDE**! YOU'VE BEEN **BURNED**!" yelled the snifit wearing red.

"Boy, you racist o someting? Don't make me go upside yo head!"

"According to my calculations, I'm not being racist because you aren't black. In fact, your _epidermis_ is a lighter shade than my own!"

"Okay foo, now you making me mad! I am gonna whoop your ayess!"

The not-so-black snifit tackled the one wearing blue when the one wearing red yelled, "A FIGHT! I! MUST JOIN!" and let go of the one wearing yellow to join the fight.

"Blood... heheheheh... kill... heheheheheheheheh... Hello Kitty..." the one wearing yellow said as he charged toward the one without attitude. However, the one without attitude easily dodged it and tripped the psycho. "Heheheheheheh... floor... heheheheheheheheh..."

When the attitude-less teenager was about to transform into a superhero sensation, the floating head, Waxon, spoke up. "Sejeto, whose name I now remember and recognize as the name of one of my top students in this academy, which I own, stand down." With that, Sejeto lowered his arms to his side.

"Everyone, whom I am the teacher for most of except for Big Al, who needs to be doing something, since I can't pay him to just stand around, I have an important announcement." With that, the snifits wearing black, red, and green stopped fighting, but the one wearing yellow was busy licking the floor while laughing insanely.

"Like... Oh my, like, god! I, like, know who he is!" yelled the female snifit in a valley girl voice.

"Yes, we already covered that... Ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai!" yelled Big Al.

"Like, whatever."

"Anyway, to continue this speech that I have to give, through my meditation, which I woke up out of a few minutes ago..."

"-Snort- No _affront_ Waxon, but my calculations _elucidate_ that people will pay more _recognition_ if you get to the point," said the one wearing green.

"Yes, right, of course. Anyway, through my meditation, I have concluded that Jinx, my eternal rival, who I have competed with since my childhood, where..."

"-Snort-"

"Err, I mean, Jinx has found a new student in the one known Jon Jones the Game Master."

"Like, what does that, like, have to do with, like, us?" asked the female snifit.

"Yeah man, we done care about Jinx! Did Jinx pimp slap us off our own ship? Did Jinx freakin' BLOW UP our ship after he pimp slapped us off? Did Jinx get us fired from a Benjamin-paying job that I needed to support my pimping business?"

"-Snort- According to my calculations, you _intrinsic_ no pimping business, nor have you ever."

"Foo, you done just interrupt me like that! Dayum! If you do tat again, I swear I'm gonna call ova all my homies and while have a game of Beatthecrapoutofthenerd as big as J-Lo's ayass!"

"That's not the important thing I have to say, however," Waxon continued. Somehow, the floating head pulled a poster out of his nonexistent pockets. "According to this poster, Mario Mario will be coming to Monstro Town as publicity for his new line of wind-up dolls!"

"And when he gets here," the snifit wearing red said, his voice suddenly turning serious, "we will-"

"Go Samuel L. Jackson all over his ayass!" the wanna-be pimp interrupted.

"...RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" the one wearing red yelled, suddenly becoming stupid again.

"AXEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEM RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANGEEEEEEEEEEEEEERS!" the snifits, who were revealed to be the Axem Rangers in their civilian forms, yelled, sans Pink and Yellow.

"Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehe... Axe... Blood... Red... SPOON!" yelled Axem Yellow.

"Like...," said Axem Pink.

-I

-I

Jon and Jinx opened the door to the next room. The room was completely white except for 7 black platforms--3 on the left side, three on the right side, and one in the middle--with apparently metallic bases and tops made of some sort of see-through plastic that allowed you to see all of the complex circuits and chips inside, though they made it obvious that most of them were just for show.

"So is this like the teleporter rooms in Wily's fortresses were you have to fight all of the Robot Masters all over again or something?" Jon questioned.

"Type. As for how each platform doing, the world of the virtual reality which copies everything of your quality exactly, I'm your heart how is carried truly in me. In each platform, going and deciding passing by the test, correctly didn't to this one from the thing your world concerning you who can lock your that because of hopefully; The movement of T and me. Do I suppose that it is the pet?" Jinx replied.

Translation: Sort of. Each platform will transport your mind to a virtual reality world that somehow copies all of your properties exactly, I'm not sure how. There, you will have to go through a series of tests to determine what about you didn't transfer correctly from your world to this one, and I will hopefully be able to fix it for you. I assume you have PET (from Mega Man Battle Network)?

Jon paused a bit to figure out what the hell he said, but he then replied, "I don't have an actual PET, but Toad said something about my Game Boy Advance being able to link to this world's Internet along with mine, somehow. Is Nintendo's Internet like in the Mega Man Battle Network world with navis and such?"

"It is, that Internet how is here, it is, the boy of your game is whether it can use the fair fine. Like those where is Internet don't judging from the fact that, it has been known, don't navi, so is a shank?"

Translation: Yes, that is how the Internet is here, and yes, your Game Boy will work just fine. Judging from the fact that you don't know what the Internet is like, you don't have a navi, do you?

"No, I don't," said Jon after translating.

"- Already, when there is navi -, while being possible, barely to change in order the virtual reality machine copies the data simply, to draw up your virtual reality edition sigh. However, because there is no navi, as for your copy it must be drawn up from the scar which at least can take small-numbered time."

Translation: -Sigh- While if you already had a navi, the virtual reality machines could have simply copied the data and alter it slightly to create the virtual reality version of you. However, since you have no navi, your copy will have to be created from scratch, which could take a few hours at least.

"A few hours? I've faced worse downloading times than that!" Jon "boasted" as he inserted his GBA's link cable into the platform and the download process automatically started.

After that moment, Jon stared at the adjacent wall while Jinx left to see a new movie. From what Jinx heard, Chao In Space 3: Tsacmeard's Egg of Ages was a lot better than anyone could have expected and was getting 4 star reviews, which was especially surprising after the lackluster Chao In Space 2, which, in most people's opinions, focused too much on how cute and cuddly the chao were and ignored everything that made the first movie so great. Thankfully, the new one fixed all of that and also fixed the audiences' complaints about the first one, such as the main characters apparently being invincible and some of the lame lines the villain had. Apparently, CiS3's villain, Tsacmeard the Normal Chaos Chao, was completely awesome and the battle between him and Unimit the NiGHTs chao was absolutely breathtaking, despite it being a PG movie.

-I

-I

"Are they still after us?" Link yelled to Rock as the monsters continued chasing after them. The sky was now black with storm clouds.

"Do you even have to ask?" Rock answered.

"Could you just check for any changes?"

Rock looked back at the angry mob. "Well, there's been a change. At least 200 hundred more monsters joined the angry mob... Wait, there seems to be another crowd just as large, if not larger than, this one heading this way!"

"Great! Just great!"

"Wait, these don't look like any monsters I've ever seen."

"What do they look like?"

"Well, they are really fat, they seem to have unnaturally pale skin due to lack of sunlight, they're all wearing either blouses or shirts with pictures of anime characters, they're wearing short skirts, which is making my eyes hurt, and they all seem to be girls of many different species."

"Wha? That sounds just like..."

"LINK-KUN, YOU ARE SO KAWAII!" one of the strange monsters screeched.

"LINKY-POO, PLEASE GO OUT WITH ME!" another yelled.

"FANGIRLS!" Link yelled out of pure disgust and horror.

"Fangirls? What are those?" Rock asked innocently.

"Rock, you're young-looking, so I can understand why you've never faced these vile beasts before. Fangirls are viscous creatures that completely obsess over you and stalk you through the streets, carefully avoiding the sunlight because it will make them catch fire and burn to death. If they catch you, they will rip apart your clothing and force you to have sex with them, but the thing is, they tend to gang up on you, making them all the more formidable. Fangirls will steal everything you own, touch, or have even breathed on, and will film you when you bathe or use the toilet for every other fangirl to see on the Internet. Fangirls can only be killed by sunlight, garlic, silver, or a wooden stake through their hearts and possess super-human strength when they try to catch you or are fighting a person that doesn't like you. They also possess a high, screeching voice capable of making your ears bleed and have a very limited vocabulary, usually consisting of a strange mix of their native language and Japanese, though they rarely use the Japanese words correctly or in context. However, despite all this, there are one or two smart ones."

"Th-that sounds horrible!" exclaimed Rock. "Why isn't something being done about them?"

"Things _ARE_ being done about them, but there are just too many, Rock. Just too many... Anyway, if we do this correctly, their sudden appearance may just be to our advantage!" Link then yelled to the angry mob, "HEY, WHY ARE YOU CHASING US!"

"BECAUSE WE WANT TO **KILL YOU!**" the angry mob yelled back.

"SUPER-BAKAS! NOBODY TRIES TO KILL LINK-CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN WITHOUT GETTING THROUGH US!" one of the fangirls yelled, with the others saying something very similar, as the group ran toward the angry mob instead of Link and Rock. The groups collided and there seemed to be a big fight.

"Say Link, shouldn't we go back and help them?" asked Rock. "Though they're complete psychos, they still have souls!"

"Don't worry Rock, they lost their souls once they turned to fangirlism. Beside, they have super-human strength, remember?"

"...Say, with both groups preoccupied, couldn't we slow down?" asked Rock. The Hero of Time nodded and they slowed down to a walk.

Soon, the duo came to a sign.

"This is the border between Little Hyrule and Hooverville. Cross one at a time. Failure to do this will result in being fined 2000 coins (1000 rupees) and up to 6 months of jail time," Rock read out loud.

"Hooverville?"

"It must be a Dreamlandish name," explained the boy robot. "Also, before you ask, the law about crossing one at a time is to slow down any angry mob that may be chasing after you."

"o0 Well isn't _that_ a coincidence. Anyway, Dreamlandish monsters are pretty tame, so I doubt they'll hold a grudge about what we did on the Halberd II."

The two then walked into town, one at a time of course.

**OVERWORLD: HOOVERVILLE...**

The town was unnaturally sunny, a startling change after Little Hyrule, and there was plant life everywhere. The houses were not too dissimilar to the ones in the Shire in The Lord of the Rings ,there were Waddle Dees everywhere, and there was food everywhere.

"Strangely enough, this reminds me more of Hyrule than Little Hyrule!" Link exclaimed.

"So Link," Rock asked, "how do plan on having Jon contact you to pick him up?"

"When he's done with that thing he's doing, he'll call me on my cell phone using a cell phone I gave him."

"Wait, when did you get two cell phones?"

"Well, the one I gave Jon is actually Epona's, but she's okay with it."

"Ah, Epona, okay... Wait, Link, why does your horse have a cell phone?"

"She has a lot of friends to talk to, so she bought one."

"How did your horse buy a cell phone?"

"I don't know, I'm just saying that's what happened."

"o0 Okay then... Anyway, how do you plan on getting your car back? It's still in that parking lot in Little Hyrule."

"I'll think of something."

-I

-I

**"Enter A New Area Theme From Star Fox 64"**

"Okay Fox, let's see your real ability!" General Pepper said to Fox through his radio.

"What? Why? Wasn't defeating Andross not once but TWICE showing my 'real ab-'" Fox responded as he launched his Arwing into the new training field above Corneria, but was interrupted.

"We've got to fly through all of the rings!" Peppy yelled.

"Yes, I know, Peppy... Wait, didn't you get a desk job? And where's Krystal?"

"I can't believe Pepper has to test us! Again!" Falco exclaimed.

"Damn right, Falco, but could anyone explain what's going o-"

"Hit start to go back to the game, ribbit!" Slippy screeched.

"What the heck are you talking about, Slippy!"

"I recommend using either Control Ty-" General Pepper said, but was interrupted by something.

**End "Enter A New Area Theme From Star Fox 64"**

"Ka-fighting! EVILBYMOONLIGHT!" one drunken voice, like one that would come from a giant eggplant, yelled out of an old, run-down spaceship.

"THE MOONLIGHT'S GONNA EAT YOUR SPOON!" another drunken voice, like one from a fat boxer, yelled.

"WINNING LOVE BY DAYMOONLIGHT!"

"I NEED TO **CUT YOUR NAILS! CUT YOUR NAILS!** DOESN'T MATTER WHY, I JUST NEED TO **CUT YOUR-**"

Fox shot a charged up blast at the old, rundown spaceship, causing it to ricochet away from the planet, and it warped to a different region.

"Fox! What are you doing!" General Pepper yelled.

"...Wasn't that part of training?" Fox asked.

-I

-I

Meanwhile, at the Shiitake Town Youth Center...

"I GOTS TEH MUSCLES! I TEACH YOU LOSARS **KARATE!**" yelled Axem Red in his normal form to a bunch of six-year-olds trying to learn karate.

"But I suck at fighting! I only came here because my mom made me!" a kid responded.

"THAT'S BULLCRAP, MAN! YOU CAN! DO ANYTHING IF YOU! PUT YOUR MIND TO IT!"

"Except fight."

"...Yeah, you're right, go sit down...!"

"Haha, look at the kid who won't fight," a kid said blandly.

Axem Red then went up to the kid again. "Hey, are those kids giving you a hard time?"

"... Yeah."

"Well, all you have to do is go over there and KICK THEIR ASS!"

"... I don't fight, remember."

"Oh, right... Hey, are those kids giving you a hard time?"

"--"

-I

-I

Jon continued staring at the wall when there was a ding. "I guess the download's done."

"It is good, it is good," Jinx said as he walked in. The movie was even better than he expected, but it seems the people in the building didn't like that he suddenly left, so they forced him to come back. Thankfully, that was after the three-hour movie was over, so it didn't make much of a difference.

"So I can start now?" asked Jon.

"Truly, go to forward. You're start such of a fair already makes, that of raising activate publication."

Translation: Sure, go ahead. You're already jacked-in, so just press START to activate it.

Jon pressed START on his GBA and the platform he was on glowed. Right before his eyes, he saw the jack-in sequence from the Mega Man Battle Network anime (or Mega Man NT Warrior) and he found himself in a strange world. The sky looked like that one picture of space NASA took a few years ago, you know, the one where they aimed the telescope at this empty space, and it turned out there were millions of galaxies there, and the ground was made up of shiny indigo-ish tiles. Jon looked at his hand to find that it was the same as in the real world.

**INTERNET: MONSTRO MEDICAL NETWORK...**

Suddenly, a brown standard navi (like those green navis you find walking around in the Mega Man Battle Network games, except brown) wearing a white doctor's suit and a stethoscope appeared and said, in clear English, "This is the Doctor's Office's website. In this area, it's specifically designed so that you do not feel any pain."

"Are you Jinx's navi?" Jon asked.

"Yes, I am. I am Doctor18301.EXE. Initiating test one."

"Huh?" Suddenly, a stone fist appeared out of nowhere and smashed Jon into the ground. Jon exploded into many orbs, but Doctor18301.EXE pressed a few button, and the orbs came back together, reforming Jon.

"Test one fail. If this was real life, that stone fist would have killed you."

"Wha... What was that?"

"I have no idea. Initiating test two." A bomb appeared out of nowhere and exploded on impact with Jon. Jon blew up, but he was yet again reformed. "Test two failed. Your reaction time is too low. Initiating test three."

This time, Jon quickly pressed START on his controller and a few seconds later, time froze. It was a good thing too, since Jon noticed that there were a multitude of bullets heading right for him. Jon walked out of their path and headed for the source, a floating steel orb about eight inches in radius with many machine guns on its great circle. Jon quickly ducked under the guns, unpaused, and shot a B-Blast, destroying the robot.

"Test three passed. Initiating test four." Suddenly, floating platforms appeared, forming a path, and on the last platform was a flag. "Get the flag."

Jon looked at the first platform. It was too high for him to jump to, even with a running start, but after a while, he finally came up with something. Jon pulled out his controller and swiped the Piano E-Card through it, causing a piano to appear. The Game Master carefully got on it and jumped to the platform. It was a success, but he noticed a problem. The other platforms were too far for him to jump, and the button to change the piano back to a controller was on the bottom, so he couldn't bring it up with him. Sighing, Jon gave up.

"Test four failed. You couldn't jump far enough. Initiating test five." A TV suddenly appeared in front of Jon. "You must stay in this seat throughout this entire program."

"That doesn't sound too hard," the Game Master replied as he switched on the TV the hear something evil.

"_-Insert Mega Babies theme song-_"

Jon was immediately screaming and jumped out of the chair.

"Test five failed...

-I

-I

"So as you can see, this apartment is very... roomy," said the landowner, a Hammer Brother, as he showed Bass and Diskoe a apartment.

"...I can see that," Bass replied. The room was constantly making seizure-inducing flashing, and there didn't seem to be walls anywhere. In fact, the door leading inside was floating in the middle of nothing, and the room seemed to be of infinite size. "By the way, is there anything we can do about the flashing?"

"Well, I'm guessing you could have someone build some walls and maybe a floor."

"Okay, that's good, Wily likes to pointlessly make steel walls and floors, even when they're already there. Anyway, uhh... Jim, is it?"

"Yup."

"Jim, this place seems great. How much is it?"

"Well, since there's no water in here and people have gotten lost in here, and there are rumors that the ghosts of the people who got lost and died in here still wonder around, it's only 10 coins a month."

Diskoe made a few motions.

"Wily can just get bottled water. Anyway, Jim, we'll take it!"

Suddenly, a creepy guy with four crystals of different colors appeared floating above the ground. "What do you think you're doing!" his voice boomed. "You can't just sell my apartment after five days!"

"...I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name," Jim responded.

"Culex. C-U-L-E-X."

"Oh, right. I'm sorry, but my policy is that if you don't enter your room for more than five weeks without a written note telling the landlord about it or, if you do that, you don't return after five years, it will be sold to another person."

"Five years! I was only gone for five days! I left for my home dimension after facing a defeat at the hands of Mario, visited my mom, got drunk with my friends, got a hangover, and came back!"

"Well, that must have been one heck of a hangover, because according to my notes here, you left when Mario defeated you on March 14, 1996, and today's October 23, 2004. That's more than eight years, which is more than five, so the apartment belongs to these guys, Bass and Diskoe," the Hammer Brother said, pronouncing Bass like the fish.

"I AM NOT A FISH! MY NAME IS BASS, DAMMIT! **BASS!**" Bass yelled, pronouncing his name like the instrument and the clef.

"Whatever," said Jim.

"Hmm, it seems time travels slower in my dimension. I'll tell you what, I'll pay you double whatever they're paying!"

"...Deal."

"My ass it is!" Bass yelled, transforming his arm into his Bass Buster. "Lesson number six, Diskoe, when someone doesn't let you have something, beat the crap out of them!"

Diskoe made some motions.

"Come on, he doesn't look _that_ strong, you're just overreacting!"

-I

-I

"Test ten failed. You couldn't run for a long enough period of time," announced Doctor18301.EXE. "I will now determine your score." The navi then logged out.

Jon stood there waiting, and eventually decided to bring out his GBA. To his surprise, Jon saw himself in the GBA in the doctor's office in a top-down perspective. "&That must be me in the real world, using that term lightly, of course&," thought Jon. The Game Master pushed forward on the GBA and, on the screen, his body went up. When he pushed A, Jon jumped, when he pressed B, he made a quick jab, when he pressed L, he ducked, which, in combination with the D-pad, made him crawl, and pressing R made him pull out his controller. Jon then assumed that pressing different buttons in combination with R would make him use an E-Card.

However, before he could test this out, Jinx looked up and yelled, "Just a little, ardently the mouth!"

Translation: Hey, cut that out!

Thus, Jon stopped experimenting. After a while, Jon, looking through his GBA screen, noticed that another doctor ran in, told Jinx something, and the two ran out of the room. Curious, Jon pressed START on his GBA and he was back in his own body. "&I wonder what's going on&?" he thought.

Jon walked outside the doctor's office to find that there was a big parade. A remix of "Do the Mario!" played as musicians, marchers, policemen, and random people wearing red slacks, blue suspenders, red hats, and fake mustaches marched down the street, with Mario himself leading it!

"...Oh, that's what's going on," Jon said as he watched the spectacle.

Suddenly, however, five snifits suddenly jumped in front of the parade.

"&o0&?" everyone thought at once.

"MARIO! WE'VE! COME HERE TO GET REVENGE! IT'S MORPHINE TIME!" yelled Axem Red.

"_Morphing_ time, Red," Axem Green corrected.

"WHAT! EVER! IT'S MORPHING TIME!"

"Pimpmobile Axe!" yelled Axem Black.

"Like...!" yelled Axem Pink.

"Erudication Axe!" yelled Axem Green.

"Heheheheheheheheh... Kuwagamon... funny word... blood... Axe!" yelled Axem Yellow.

"TYRANOSAURUS!" yelled Axem Red.

"Karate Axe, Red," Axem Green corrected.

"... Axe!" Axem Pink finished.

"KARATE AXE THINGY!" yelled Axem Red.

In a flash, the snifits doubled in height, gained color coded outfits, and started doing pointless karate moves. Somehow, this caused everyone to run away, except for the people you actually care about.

"MARIO! WE CHALLENGE YOU TO A FIGHT!" Axem Red yelled to the fat plumber, who was standing there with Luigi, who was trying to find a good place to hide.

"...Okie-dokie," Mario said as he started Super Jumping on Axem Red's head.

**Battle... BEGIN!**

"OW! OW! OW! RETREAT!"

**MARIO WINS! YOU GOTTEN... MUSHROOM!**

"Red, my man, we could easily pimp-slap that foo if we whooped his ass togeter! Man, the only reason we lost last time was 'cause he had two homies and a hoe with him! Now let's just go all karate on his ayass!" Axem Black told Red.

"... You're not black, are you?" Jon asked.

"No, I'm not. Now, you got a problem wit dat, foo! I come ova dare and pimp-slap you good if you don't shut yo mouth!"

"SCREW KARATE! LET'S USE THE!"

"...Like, the, like, what?" Axem Pink asked.

"THE! THE! THE THINGIES!"

"... The Zords?" asked Axem Green.

"WHAT HE SAID! WE NEED AXEM ZORD POWER NOW!"

**"Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers Theme Song"**

The Axem Ranger's ship, Blade II, flew out of the clouds and it flew toward the rangers' position with the Sun right behind it. Two compartments on the left and ride sides and one on the top opened up and shot out five giant axes (Look in the reviews section for a picture).

Somehow, the Axem Rangers jumped up and were suddenly in the cockpits of their zords.

"YOU GUYS! READY?" Axem Red yelled.

"PIMP-Yeah!" yelled back Axem Black.

"Like, oh my god, totally!" Axem Pink yelled.

"_Indubitably_!" Axem Green yelled.

"Me want baboon costume! Me want demon children, the only of which survive are the girls, but the guys start surviving after about 100 episodes, who claim to be able to kill my archnemesis easily, but never do so, and me want jewels! Shiny jewels! To bring back to life the Seven Evil Clark Gables! Standing here in Jersey City, fighting villains from afar! Me gotta find first gear in me BLOOD DEATH GORE BRAINS giant robot car! You! Dig! Giant robots! Me! Dig! Giant robots! We! Dig! Giant robots! CHICKS! DIG! GIANT ROBOTS! Duuuuuuuuuhhhnuhhnuuuuuuuuuuhhh Nice!" yelled Axem Yellow

"ALL! RIGHT! INITIATE! TRANSFORMATION!" yelled Red.

The red axe started its transformation by splitting down the middle so that both halves were the same size and shape and they were half as thick as before. The blade parts then overlapped, forming what seemed to be the chest of a giant robot. The oval parts came up so that they were perpendicular to the sides, and the part of the axe's handles below where the blade started launched off and combined with the ovals, forming arms. The body and arms were complete.

The yellow axe started its transformation by separating the handle and the blade. Then, the handle split in half so that the base was a skinny oval, forming legs, and the blade split in half so that the depth stayed the same and the sides were equal, forming feet. The blades then attached to the bottom of the legs so that the sharp part and the triangles were both facing forward. The legs and feet were complete.

The black axe started its transformation by separating the blade from the handle. The sharp part of the blade then separated into four, forming fingers. The handle was then grabbed by the fingers by the handle's... handle. The left hand was complete.

The green axe was already in transformed form. The right hand was complete.

The pink axe started its transformation by having the blade and handle separate. The blade then split in two so that both halves were the same size and shape and they were half as thick as before. The two blades then attached to opposite sides of the handle and extended. The wings were complete.

The parts (sans Pink's) then came together and the body dashed along an aircraft runway in front of an action-filled red and orange background, and then Pink's zord attached to the back. The megazord took off into the air and fiery meteors started crashing in the background. Two more objects flew from the airship. A large, somewhat bird shaped red plate attached below Red's blades, covering up the Pink "skeleton", and the Breaker Beam Cannon came down from the ship and attached to the top, forming the head. The megazord was complete. (Look in the review section for a picture)

"... o0 Dude..." Jon said as he looked up at the robot. "&Normally, I wouldn't be amazed, but once you see one in real life... using that term lightly... ahh, to heck with it, I'll just start referring to this world as the real world. It will make things slightly easier to talk about. Wait, why am I just standing here&!" Jon thought to himself as he quickly ran into the nearest building.

"AWSOME! THE SUPER SATAN GOD TRIPLE JESUS BUSTER DESTRUCTIONARY BREAKER ROBO III! PALADIN MODE RED VERSION MEGAZORD IS! COMPLETE!"

For about a minute, the megazord just stood there as everyone gaped at its height of one mile.

"So... waddawedo now?" asked Black.

"Well, according to my calculations," Axem Green said as he punched in some numbers on his calculator, "the best choice of action would be to use the gun, since even if Mario _migrated_ into the sewers, the explosion would still badly wound him, as opposed to trying to step on him-" Axem Green was interrupted as he used "migrated" incorrectly.

"GREAT! LET'S STEP ON HIM!" Red yelled.

Yellow eagerly obeyed as he lifted up the megazord's right foot and lowered it. At this point, Jon noticed that the foot would crush the building he was hiding in, so he pressed START on his controller, ran out of the door, and time froze. Mario seemed to be running away from the foot, Luigi seemed to be hiding behind some trash cans, Rock, now Mega Man, and Link were behind the foot firing at it, and Jinx seemed to be jumping into an open manhole.

"&That's it&!" thought Jon as he tried to move Mario to the manhole, but found that he couldn't change his position at all. He then walked over to the sidewalk and effortlessly picked up a pebble. "I guess I can only move nonliving things, not counting robots," Jon thought out loud. "Wait! Why didn't I think of this before! I can freeze time and steal whatever I want!"

"Yeah, and if you do that, I'll come and kick your ass

downstairs into the kitchen, because no one can do that except me and I have a bazooka

that I can use when time is frozen and you don't. By the way, weapons don't work against frozen foes," Toad said as he suddenly walked in out of nowhere and immediately walked out.

Jon groaned for a second, but then focused his mind on how to get the Mario Bros. to the manhole and had an idea. First, he grabbed an arrow Link was firing out of the air and placed it in front of Mario so that it would fly past him, and when he turns to see what it was, he'll see the manhole and jump in. Then, Jon somehow positioned a Mega Buster shot so that it would explode behind Luigi, knocking him out of the trashcans, and he would look for a new hiding place. He would see the manhole and go into the sewers. Afterwards, Jon walked behind the megazord's foot and unpaused. Both Mario Bros. made it to the sewers.

"...Jon, where did you come from?" asked Mega Man.

"I paused and came over here, but I managed to save Mario and Luigi," explained Jon.

"I guess you used our attacks to do that, considering how they suddenly disappeared," said Link. Jon explained what he did.

"By the way, is there any way we can get up there?" the Game Master asked, pointing to the SSGTJBDBRIIIPMRV Megazord's head.

"Well, I guess I can use my hookshot..." Link said.

"I have a better idea," Mega Man announced as he pressed a button on his Mega Buster. Rush teleported down and transformed into his jet form and barked.

"That's nice and all, but how will we fit on?" asked Jon. He got his answer when Beat (the bird) and Tango (the little known cat from the GB games) teleported down, turned into extra chairs (with seat belts and jetpacks), and attached to Rush by a chain.

-I

-I

"DUDES! WE TOTALLY CRUSINATED MARIO!" Red yelled.

"Wait, man! How do we know dat he dead? I did'n hear no scream!" Black replied.

"Like, me _nay_ther!" screeched Pink.

"Well, at this _solstice_, it would be practically _insurmountable_ to hear anything from down there, so it would be much more _unostentatious_ to just go down there and look for ourselves," Green pointed out.

"GREAT! LET'S DO THAT! YELLOW STAY! UP HERE AND KEEP THE! FOOT UP!" Red yelled.

"Okie dokie!" Yellow said in a creepy voice as the other Rangers teleported down.

On the street, the Rangers were trying to decide who would scrape off Mario when they found him as the megazord's right foot lifted up.

"DUDES! HE'S NOT HERE!" Red yelled.

Suddenly, the ground started shaking.

-I

-I

"So, have you guys seen that Axem Yellow guy?" Link asked as Rush flew upwards.

"What about him?" Mega Man replied.

"Well, not only is he fat, but he seems to be insane. That's quite a strange combination there."

"Well, I've heard this really disgusting rumor about Axem Yellow. It turns out that every time he kills someone, he eats their brain," Mega Man said, adding a shudder at the end.

"Then I guess he must have killed a lot of people to be that fat," pointed out Jon.

Mega Man was about to ask how Jon could be so insensitive, but Link pointed out that there was an entrance a few meters higher, right below the chest.

Rush flew up to the opening. "Link, you get out first," Mega Man said. With that, Link unlocked the seatbelt on the Tango Chair and jumped into the entrance. Before Jon could jump in, however, the ground spontaneously started shaking and Link had to use his hookshot to stay in the megazord.

"WHAT'S GOING ON?" The Hero of Time asked.

Suddenly, five large vehicles in the shape of various crappy game systems burst out of the ground. They were in the shapes of a Wonderswan, a Sega 32X, a Nintendo Virtual Boy, a Neo Geo Pocket Color, and a Nokia N-Gage (look in the reviews for a picture).

"Correction, _NOW_ WHAT'S GOING ON?" Link inquired.

After apparently searching around for a few seconds, the Sega 32X and the Wonderswan flew up to where the N-Team was and Mario's voice boomed over the loud speakers. "Mama-mia, you-a two get-a in here quick!"

Jon and Mega Man shrugged and Rush flew toward the zord-things.

"Hey! What about me!" yelled Link.

"Well, someone should try to get some help from Game and Watch or something," said Jon said as he detached Beat from Rush and went into the Sega 32X as Mega Man went into the Wonderswan. When they got into the cockpits, Beat and Rush teleported away, along with Tango. Link seemed to be yelling something, but they couldn't hear.

Inside the 32X's cockpit, there was one screen that was to the front left showing what was happening in front of it (the large part), a black screen to its right that seemed to serve no purpose, two screens to the immediate left and right, which showed what was happening out of their respective sides, one screen behind Jon, showing what was behind him, and a radar screen below the two front screens, along with various gauges and such. Below the radar was a control panel. In the center of the control panel was a joystick that seemingly controlled the direction the ship was facing, on top of which was an unlit button. Below the panel were some pedals similar to in a car, and most likely had a similar purpose, and shift gears. To the right of the joystick were some unlit buttons labeled "CONNECT1", "CONNECT2", "DISCONNECT", "LAUNCH", and "RETURN". To the left of the joystick was a speaker, a microphone, and four lit buttons with the names of the other vehicles below them.

The speaker suddenly activated as Jinx's voice came out of it. "Welcome to of Bad System Robos. The fact that the method of controlling your is grasped you sufficiently is easy expectation. In calculation of 3, as for your everything " CONNECT1" you must push, simultaneously. 1. .. 2 --"

Translation: Welcome to the Bad System Robos. It should be easy enough for you to figure out how to control yours. On the count of three, all of you have to press "CONNECT1" at the same time. 1... 2--

"Huh?" everyone, except Jon, said out the speakers.

"He said that everyone has to press "CONNECT1" at the same time on the count of three," Jon said into the microphone after he pressed all of the lit buttons.

"Wait, who are we talking about?" asked Mega Man.

"Jinx, you know, the famous midget martial artist," Jon answered.

"Oh, right."

"By the way, Jinx, where did these zord things come from?"

"THESE PEOPLE ZORDS! THEM ARE THE ROBOT TRANSPORTATION FUSION VEHICLE!" Jinx yelled.

Translation: THESE ARE NOT ZORDS! THEY ARE ROBOT TRANSPORT FUSION VEHICLES!

"What did he-a say?" Mario asked Jon.

"I'm not sure. I think he was using a different dialect that time," Jon answered.

"NOT ZORDS!" Jinx corrected.

"Oh, okay. Anyway, can you answer the question?"

"As for me under my office maintaining RTFVs with the sewer, as for me you took Mario-sensei and Luigi there. To being at the point where I obtain those, in regard after I lose the auction for the temple of ninja, I used for the money, however, buy these. As for RTFVs it was normal to belong to Fawful someone who is shown. With respect to appearance, he was defeated by Mario-sensei, everything of that possession ones was for selling."

Translation: I have been keeping the RTFVs in the sewers below my office, and I took Mario-sensei and Luigi there. As for where I got them, after I lost the auction for the ninja temple, I used the money to, instead, buy these. The RTFVs used to belong to someone named Fawful. Apparently, he had been defeated by Mario-sensei and all of his belongings were up for sale.

Jon translated for everyone else. "So anyway, you were saying before?"

"Well right. Calculation and publication of 3 'CONNECT1'."

"At the count of three, press 'CONNECT1'," Jon translated.

"1... 2...**3**!" Jinx yelled.

The Virtual Boy attached to the N-Gage's right side (left from the picture's perspective) by its top. The 32X attached to the left side of the N-Gage by its bottom. The incorrectly done arrow buttons on the Wonderswan flew off of the giant portable system and one group attached to the right bottom of the N-Gage while the other group attached to the right part of the Wonderswan. Some type of energy orb appeared in the middle of each group and a sort of energy string connected them. The logo then flew right off of the Neo Geo Pocket Color's screen, unraveled, and connected the bottom left part of the N-Gage and the right part of the pocket system.

"If there is this button, now, publication 'CONNECT2'," Jinx said.

"If you have 'CONNECT2', press it," Jon translated.

The N-Gage's screen raised up. The Virtual Boy's top raised up and moved slightly to the right. The entire top 3/4s of the 32X lifted up. (look in the reviews)

"Bad System Robo now is complete!" Jinx yelled.

"The Bad System Robo is now complete!" Jon translated.

-I

-I

"...Like, oh my god, did you, like, totally see that?" Axem Pink asked.

"DUDES! THEY COPIED US!" Red yelled.

"-Snort- Actually, there are _multitudinous_ kinds of combining robots, not just megazords," Green corrected.

"...WELL THEY STILL COPIED US! LET'S GET THEM!" Red yelled as he, Pink, Black, and Green teleported back into the SSGTJBDBRIIIPMRV Megazord to join Yellow.

The megazord turned around to face the Bad System Robo and struck a pose. "HEY! NOBODY GOES AND! COPIES US! YOU'RE GOING! UP!"

"Down, Red," Green corrected.

"WHAT! EVER!"

"What do we do now!" Jon yelled into his microphone in the BSR.

"Someone has controlled the arm?" Jinx asked.

"I'm in the Sega 32X! Who's in the Virtual Boy!"

"Its-a me, Mario!" the Italian plumber exclaimed.

"It was understood, now are there some feet?" Jinx asked.

"Mega Man's in the Wonderswan, so Luigi is in the Neo Geo Pocket Color!" Jon answered.

"You make the robot kneel, it was understood, as for Luigi, in the limit first, it is not, it moves the foot the left. The Mega person only moves the foot the right to balance of storing. Jon barely moves the back section of the arm the left. In order to point with megazord, Mario on the right arm, raise in salary, and I do the challenge message of record completed."

"Okay, Luigi, move the left leg forward, but not so far as to make the zord kneel. Mega Man, only move the right leg to keep balance. Jon, move the left arm back slightly. Mario, raise up the right arm so that it will point at the megazord, and I shall issue the challenge message," Jon translated.

Everyone moved the BSR into the position above.

"Now I do record completed message," Jinx said as he pressed a button on his control panel. "**The female dog it has that, do!**" Jinx's voice yelled out of the Bad System Robo.

"...Like, what did he, like, oh my god, like, say?" Axem Pink asked out of the SSGTJBDBRIIIPMRV Megazord.

"Wazzup, I think he mean 'The biazitch has it, dude,'" Black answered.

"WHAT! DOES THAT MEAN?" Red yelled.

"Cockpit! Funny word! Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehheheheheheheh!" Yellow said out of nowhere.

"-Snort- Guys, I don't _envisage_ that's what he's saying. He seems to be speaking Engrish. Give me a second to translate," Axem Green said.

"OKAY!" Red yelled.

"Okay, I got it! He _ejaculated_ 'Bring it on, b-tch!'"

"WHAT? OKAY! WE'LL BRING IT!" Red yelled out of the Megazord's speakers. "IF! YOU WIN! WE WON'T ATTACK MARIO! HE'S IN THERE! RIGHT?"

"It is!" Jinx answered.

"WHAT?"

"Yes, Red," Green translated.

"OKAY! AND! FOR THE PRIZE SYSTEM, WE WILL! GIVE YOU MEDALS SHOWING THAT WE! ARE YOUR ALLIES! AND WE WILL ACT AS ALLIES! TOO! AND IF WE WIN?"

"We give our enormous robots!"

Red turned to Green. "HE'S! SAYING WHAT I! THINK HE'S! SAYING, RIGHT?"

"Yup," Green answered.

"ALL! RIGHT! WE ACCEPT!" Red yelled to the Bad System Robo.

**End "Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers Theme Song"**

**Battle... BEGIN!**

The two mechas stared at each other for what seemed to be forever.

"...Jinx, wouldn't it be a good idea to attack now?"

"It is, I so suppose. It meaning that kicking falls in us, remembering, it makes the button of the joystick of the arm, the thruster of the jet aircraft which makes the punch activate with the foot me it is supposed it pushes," Jinx answered.

"Yes, I suppose so. Remember, pressing the button on the joystick in the arms will make you punch and will make the jet thrusters activate in the legs, I assume because kicks will make us fall over," Jon translated.

"So who-a will attack?" Luigi asked.

"Well, personally, I th--" Jon was about to say, but he was interrupted by a scream.

"MARIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" the mysterious voice yelled.

"What the Fonz was that!" Jon asked.

"There's an institution for angsty persons near here, and Shadow the Hedgehog was recently admitted to it. He must be having an angst-fest right now," Mega Man explained.

"Hmm and ' Maria' and ' Mario' as for the sound the way; So Mario it attacks,"

**"Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers Zord Battle Theme"**

Mario said, "Okie-dokie," and targeted the megazord. He then said, "Here we go!" as he pressed the button and Virtual Boy controller launched toward it. It collided into the megazord, knocking it over. For the sake of time, let's just pretend that the guys piloting the Bad System Robo already know the basic functions of their robot (jumping, walking, etc).

The BSR walked over to where the MZ was and was about to do another Virtual Boy Punch (VBP), but the MZ

jumped up, knocking the BSR away. However, when the BSR got up, the Megazord pointed its black gun at it. Black yelled, "Okay, foo, now you gone and make me mad! PIMP GUN!" as a white plasma blast shot toward the sort-of N-Team, which makes sense in a sick way, considering what Axem Black thinks he does.

"Fast Jon obstructs the attack of the shield of your arm!" Jinx yelled.

Translation: Jon, quick, block the attack with the shield on your arm!

"Shield on my arm? I don't see any--wait, my fist looks like a--" Jon said as the Pimp Gun blast collided with the Bad System Robo (BSR), knocking it into a nearby building, destroying it. As the blast exploded, the megazord turned around and struck a pose in true Power Rangers fashion. However, the battle was not over yet, as the BSR quickly got up, and Mega Man and Luigi activated the dash thrusters, causing the robot to rocket toward the posing megazord. When they got into range, Jon swung a punch with his Sega 32X, which smashed into the back of the megazord, and if that wasn't enough, Mario's Virtual Boy controller got another hit in as it drilled into the enemy mecha and knocked them to the ground. Luigi lifted his Neo Geo Pocket Color foot to stomp on them, but the jet thrusters on the megazord's wings activated and they flew out of harm's way.

The megazord flew a few meters above the BSR and about one hundred to the right of it when Black yelled,

"PIMP GUN!" and fired another white blast. However, this time, Jon knew what to do and blocked it with his shield-arm. The Bad System Robo then threw the Virtual Boy controller at the megazord, but it was expecting this and flew out of the way. It then grabbed the wire and started spinning the robot around like a Mario would to Bowser, and tossed it a good distance away. The megazord flew after the BSR as it crashed through a few buildings.

"Mr. T Killer Axe!" Axem Green yelled as he tried to slash the large green axe, but the Bad System Robo suddenly dashed into the air, narrowly avoiding it. After going a decent height, the dash thrusters shut off, and the giant robot elbow dropped the megazord, causing both to fall over, but with much more damage done to the megazord. The BSR got up, when Jon noticed that some of the previously unlit buttons on his control panel were now lit, more specifically, the button labeled "LAUNCH".

"Mega Man, could you kick the megazord into the air for me?" Jon asked.

"Sure, but why?" Mega Man answered with another question.

"I want to try something."

The megazord was kicked into the air by the Bad System Robo's right foot, which was done by that foot alone activating its dash thrusters, and Jon aimed the fist at it and pressed the "LAUNCH" button. Jet boosters

activated on the fist and it detached from the arm, rocketing toward the megazord. However, the megazord knocked the fist away with the Mr. T Killer Axe and started spinning horizontally, pretty much turning in a giant version of Rouge's Drill Dive from Sonic Adventure 2. The megazord tore into the mecha's chest, eventually knocking them away, but Axem Red seemed displeased. "YELLOW! WHAT! ARE YOU DOING? YOU HAVE! TO YELL THE ATTACK! NAME!"

"Heheheheheheheheheheheheheheh..." Yellow responded.

"FORGET IT! I'LL SAY THE ATTACK NAME! ...GREEN, WHAT'S THE ATTACK NAME?"

"It's 'MacGyver Slicer Kick'," Green answered.

"MACGYVER SLICER KICK!" Red yelled.

"Isn't that a little _belated_? And also, my calculations show that we should get back to the _altercation_."

"YOU'RE! RIGHT GREEN! LET'S GO!"

"-Snort- Mr. T Killer Axe!" Green yelled as he tried to slice the BSR, but it once again dashed into the air.

"OH! NO YOU DON'T! ACTIVATE THE HYPER BREAKER BEAM!"

"...Like, oh my god, Red, it needs to, like, totally power, like, up first," Pink pointed out.

"OKAY! LET ME JUST UNBUCKLE MY SEATBELT!" Red said as he struggled to do what he said.

"...Why?" Black asked.

"SO I CAN! POWER IT UP WITH! MY BIG MUSCLES?'

"...Tell you what, Red, let's _bestow_ my idea," Green said.

Before the Bad System Robo could do another elbow drop, the megazord flew up and the Mr. T Killer Axe tore through it, knocking the robot to the ground and leaving one big mark. The mecha struggled to get up, and eventually did, and Jon noticed something. "Hey guys," Jon said, "I think I can still control my fist from here!"

"That it is splendid, it is, therefore to forward it goes, is possible to recover that here!" Jinx yelled.

"MACGYVER SLICER KICK!" Red yelled as the megazord once again did that Drill Dive attack, but Mario shot the Virtual Boy controller at them and it wrapped around the megazord. Eventually, it couldn't spin anymore and landed on the ground on its feet. Before the megazord could activate its jet thrusters, Mario pulled the controller away, causing the megazord to spin away like a top, ricocheting off buildings.

"That-a should buy-a us some-a time," Luigi said.

-I

-I

Meanwhile, at the nearby apartment complex...

After some loud crashes, Bass was tossed out of an apartment built into the wall, followed by Diskoe, who walked after him. Treble, who was waiting outside, barked.

Diskoe beeped a few times.

"Shut up, Diskoe, I'm fine," Bass said as he got up, dusted himself off, and drained his last E-Tank.

Diskoe beeped a few times.

"I know I lost, Diskoe!" Bass yelled. "At least you could compliment that I lasted so long."

Suddenly, the building in front of the two robots collapsed as a giant spinning robot crashed into it, bounced off, crashed into another, and continued on.

"WHAT THE HELL!" Bass yelled.

Treble then started barking at another giant robot opposite the direction the first was going.

"What is it Treble? Is Mega Man here?" Bass asked his dog-wolf-robot-thing.

Treble continued barking.

"He's in that giant robot! While I do feel like kicking his kiddy ass, I'm not going to fight him in that!"

Diskoe beeped.

"What's that? Wily made an upgrade for Treble that turns him into a giant robot! Isn't that a coincidence! So, give it to me!"

Diskoe threw out a pokéball, which opened up, revealing two CD-ROMs. Bass put one in a disk drive in Treble's forehead, which he scanned.

Diskoe beeped.

"I don't need to scan the directions! Knowing Wily, they probably make no sense anyway!"

When Treble finished downloading after a few seconds, he barked.

"Giant robot mode, activate!" Bass yelled. Nothing happened. "...All right, I'll take the damn directions," he said as he grabbed the CD and inserted it into a disk drive in his forehead. After a downloading for a while, Bass yelled, "Treb-Lo! It's showtime!"

-I

-I

"...Should we go after it?" Jon asked as he watched the megazord go into the horizon.

However, before he could be answered, a large purple mecha seemingly burst out of the ground. Since I don't want to draw the actual design, just imagine it as Big O, except with purple replacing the black, yellow replacing the orange, and Bass-style fins. "Mega Man, I know you're in there!" Bass's voice boomed out of the speaker. "I've--wait, there's some weird crap coming on the screen...,'Cast in the name of hair, ye not funky'? WTF is this crap! Wily must have been tanked when he programmed this! Anyway, I've had a bad day, and I want to beat the crap out of something, and since you're right here, I thought that you might as well be my victim. If I beat you in that giant robot thing, I get one of your weapons, like usual!"

"And if I win, Bass, you have to join the forces of good!" Mega Man responded through the speaker.

"Hell no, I'm not going to do that! Besides, you know the prize system doesn't work that way! You can only bet physical items!"

"Okay then, you don't have to give me anything when I win," Mega Man said before switching the speaker to just inside the Bad System Robo. "Heh, I kind of forgot about that. I guess I was caught up in the moment."

"That reminds me, where the heck did Bass get a giant robot?" Jon asked.

"Not now," Mega Man said as he switched the speaker back to outside.

"Same as usual, huh? Alrighty then," Bass said.

**Battle... BEGIN!**

Bass started off by having Treb-Lo punch the Bad System Robo in the side, and then again, but suddenly, the buttons on the N-Gage part of the BSR started shooting at the Wilydeus like missiles, knocking it far away, destroying a few buildings in the process.

"Mama-mia, what-a was that?" Mario asked.

"I became aware in being the switch which is hidden exactly in the joystick. In order to find that you must repel on," Jinx said.

"I just noticed that there is a hidden switch on the joystick. You have to flip over the top to find it," Jon translated.

"Hey! I'm not done yet!" Bass yelled as Treb-Lo ran toward the BSR, but it suddenly shot up into the air as the Sega 32X fist plowed through it and returned to its original position when Jon pressed "RETURN".

Suddenly, plasma bullets started riddling the surface of the Bad System Robo as Treb-Lo used its gattling guns. The robot raised its shield arm to block it and ran to avoid it at the same time.

"HEY! WHO ARE YOU! RUNNING FROM?" Axem Red yelled as the megazord ran back. The BSR ran past the megazord and the plasma bullets ended up hitting it. "HEY! WHO DO! YOU THINK YOU ARE? WE'RE GONNA KICK! YOUR ASS!"

"Well bring it on!" yelled Bass.

**Battle... BEGIN!**

"PIMP GUN!" Black yelled as he shot his white plasma blast at the Wilydeus, which was knocked over by the force of the blast.

"CHARGING UP HYPER! BREAKER BEAM!" Red yelled as he pulled a switch. "MACGYVER SLICER KICK!"

However, Treb-Lo blocked the attack with its arm shields while still on the ground and shot one of its hip chains at the megazord, which attached to it and sent it flying. The force pulled Treb-Lo back up, but the megazord quickly sliced off the chain with a Mr. T Killer Axe and landed on its feet. However, Treb-Lo quickly shot a large laser beam from its forehead that smacked the megazord right in the chest and it fell over. The Wilydeus ran over to the megazord with the piston in its forearm back and was about to Impact Punch it, but the megazord flew out of the way and shot another Pimp Gun, with Black yelling and all, which hit the mecha, but it managed to keep its balance. Treb-Lo shot used his gattling gun again, but it was deflected when Green spun his Mr. T Killer Axe.

"Wait! Stop everything!" Green yelled.

"WHAT IS IT?" yelled Red.

"I'm about to kick your asses, so make this quick!" Bass yelled.

"-Snort- We were both _encroaching_ that other mecha, right?"

Red and Bass admitted that they were.

"So, why don't we just work together?"

"Bah! The only people I fight with are my dog, and maybe Diskoe if he proves to be cool enough!" Bass said.

"But you got your _fundament_ kicked last time you fought."

"...Alright, whatever, let's join forces," Bass unwillingly said.

The two mechas turned to the Bad System Robo, which was just standing there watching.

"... Uh-oh," said Jon.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, an old, run-down spaceship crash-landed on Treb-Lo's head, causing him to transform back into normal Treble on the ground. Bass and Diskoe, however, stayed in their original positions and fell to the ground.

"**OMGWTF? o0**" everyone in the universe said at once.

Bass and Diskoe slowed their decent when Bass grabbed Diskoe, activated his dash thrusters, and shot his Bass Buster downwards at the same time. The spaceship fell past them and landed on the ground.

"Wooo! Yeah! That was awesome!" King Hippo yelled as he staggered out.

"Did you see the looks on their faces! They were all like, 'BLARGHBlAh/\/\!' while we were all like, 'Rip, slip, brush, ahhhh!'" Eggplant Wizard said, following after the boxer.

"And that eggplant wine thingy you made was JAWSOME!"

"YEAH!"

"Those guys are Eggplant Wizard and King Hippo," Mega Man explained.

"I know. King Hippo was the second guy you fought in the Major Circuit of Mike Tyson's Punch-Out and Eggplant Wizard was an enemy in the fortress areas of Kid Icarus, or dungeons or whatever you want to call it, and they both worked for Mother Brain in the days of Kevin Keene. My question is, how come the 'You Won' sign didn't appear yet?" Jon replied.

"I'll explain that later," replied Mega Man. "Right now, we still have to deal with the Axem Rangers." The Bad System Robo waited for their next move.

Meanwhile, as Bass and Diskoe hovered down to Treble, Bass said, "I should have known that you two were behind all this!"

"Hey! We were _going_ to fly straight through whatever planet we're on!" King Hippo yelled.

"And we would have gotten away with it too, if it wasn't for you meddling kids and your dog!" Eggplant Wizard added.

"YEAH!"

"YEAAH!"

"YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!"

"YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!"

"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"**SHUT UP!**" Bass yelled as he walked to Treble and pressed a button on his back, causing a keyboard and a computer screen to pop out. He typed some stuff and eventually said," What the hell! According to this, Treble's circuits are being interrupted by... tomatoes!"

"Sorry, that was me," Eggplant Wizard said as he waved his scepter.

"Okay, good, they're gone. I still have to get someone to fix all the wires, though, and his processor is heavily damaged."

Diskoe beeped.

"Get Wily to do it? Well..."

"Hey! Who's he?" King Hippo asked.

Bass ignored them. "...I guess I can't keep Wily locked in that pokéball forever. Let's get back to the crappy apartment he chose."

Bass grabbed Treble, who was too damaged to move, and the robot masters teleported away.

"...Hey look! Giant robots!" King Hippo yelled.

"Whoa! I never would have noticed them if you didn't tell me!" Eggplant Wizard said in a non-sarcastic way.

"Hey, EG! Do you have a spell to make giant robots or something!"

"I think so." Eggplant Wizard pulled out a spell book and flipped through a couple of pages. "Aha, here it is!" Eggplant Wizard shoved his scepter into the ground, said some magic words, and a bright flash of light appeared, but it soon turned back to normal. However, there was now a mecha standing in front of them.

"OMGWTF? o0," everyone said at once again.

"AWESOME! IT'S A GUNDAM!" King Hippo yelled as he looked up at the Eggplant Gundam and a building in the background inexplicably blew up. It looked exactly like whatever your favorite Gundam is, except it was made of eggplants.

"Idiot! Now that you said, 'IT'S A GUNDAM!', you're gonna lose in no time!" Eggplant Wizard said.

"Well... Gun damn you!" The two then started laughing. "Hey, can you make another one so we can fight! I want to be one of those guys wearing those masks!"

"Sure!" the wizard said as he repeated the spell and created another Eggplant Gundam.

"Hey, doesn't the mask guy not use Gundams?"

"Hey, this is the only mecha spell I know!"

"I'm not saying it's bad, I just wanted to be realistic! By the way, how do these work?"

Eggplant Wizard explained in a complex way, but ended with," ...and this was all possible thanks to a made up material that doesn't exist, never has existed, and never will exist called Eggplantium!"

"Wow... wait, if the thingy is fake, how is it realistic?"

EG shrugged.

"GREAT! LET'S GO!"

"Wait! We need to get into character!"

"You're right! Quick! Give me a mask!"

Eggplant Wizard created a purple mask.

"Wait, the mask needs to be white!"

"Well, the only white vegetable I can think of is an onion..."

"What about relish?"

"Re-wha?"

"Huh-wha?"

"...Onion it is!" Eggplant Wizard created a white onion mask and King Hippo put it on.

"Whoa! It's like I'm crying tears of anger toward Earth because I hate it and want to destroy it or something! Sweet! Hey, EG, don't you have to get in character too!"

"You're right! Hmmm... I got it! Hippy, do you

have your stereo!"

King Hippo opened his mouth wide and pulled a stereo out of it. "Right where I always keep it."

"Great! Now to use my bootleg CD spell!" The wizard cast a spell and a CD made of eggplants appeared in front of him. He put it in the stereo and Linkin Park's "Crawling In My Skin" burst out of it. "Now I can truly be an angsty teenage Gundam pilot!"

"LET'S GO!"

The two idiots somehow went inside the robots-made-of-eggplants and started fighting.

"HEY! CUT IT! OUT! WE'RE TRYING TO HAVE! A FIGHT HERE!" Axem Red yelled from the megazord.

"...Poopy-brain," Eggplant Wizard said as he dispelled his mecha summon and the two idiots were set on the ground. "...Hey, Hippy, do you think the people around here appreciate Jell-O pudding?"

"I don't know! Let's see how they react when we post post-its saying how great it is everywhere!"

"YEAH!" The two high-five each other and ran off.

MEANWHILE...

"PIMP GUN!" Black yelled.

The megazord, which was still in the air, fired a white plasma blast at the Bad System Robo. However, the BSR blocked it with its Sega 32X arm. The megazord dived toward the robot, axe drawn, but the shield-arm suddenly punched it exactly thirty-two times and it fell to the ground.

"If you're wondering, I used that button inside my joystick," Jon explained to everyone else in the BSR.

The BSR walked over to the megazord, but it suddenly the MZ jumped up in attempt to knock the BSR away, but it successfully dashed out of the way, and used the

N-Gage special attack, henceforth called "**N-GAGE'd**". However, the megazord flew out of the way, so the Bad System Robo shot its Virtual Boy fist at it. MZ grabbed it, but Mario pressed the button in his Robot Transport Fusion Vehicle and electricity surged through the cord, electrocuting it and causing it to fall over. However, it quickly got up and Red yelled. "IT FINALLY FINISHED POWERING UP! THANKS TO! THAT ATTACK! ULTRA BREAKER BEAM! FIRE!"

A much larger version of the Breaker Beam from Super Mario RPG sailed into the Bad System Robo from the megazord's mouth, knocking it over. "Mama-mia! We only-a have 35 energy-a left!" Luigi yelled. Another shot hit them on the ground. "15-a!" Another blast, this time much smaller, hit. "7-a? What-a happened to the-a rest of the-a beam?"

"Hey man, there's fat-ass pink bugger suckin up the beam!" Black yelled.

"Like, Black, did you just, like, totally say, like, 'bugger'?" Pink asked.

"No, girl, I say 'hoe', now when you gonna start listenin to me!"

"IT'S PROBABLY! NOTHING!" Red yelled.

"-Snort- Red, he seems to be _transmogrifying_," Green pointed out.

The pink object transformed into a pink version of the megazord's head and shot the Ultra Breaker Beam at the real head. Red screamed as the real head exploded.

"...Red," Green said.

Red continued screaming.

"RED!"

Red continued screaming.

"...BLUE!"

"...HUH? WHY AREN'T WE DEAD?"

"Red, we in da chest, man, remember?" Black said.

"...OH RIGHT! WE CAN STILL FIGHT!"

"Actually, according to my calculations, that would be very _onerous_, because the cameras were in the head and now we can't see," Green said.

"...THE WHA?"

The Bad System Robo 32X Punched, Virtual Shocker Fisted, and **N-GAGE'd** the megazord at the same time. Eventually, the zords separated and the Axem Rangers flew out. The zords automatically flew back to the Blade II airship that they came out of. When the rangers landed on the ground, they un-morphed back into snifits.

**End "Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers Battle Theme" ... That's right, it's been going on all this time**

**BAD SYSTEM ROBO CREW WINS! YOU GOTTEN... ALLY MEDALS!**

**Medals showing that the Axem Rangers are your allies.**

The Bad System Robo separated into five systems, which landed on the ground. Jinx, Mario, Luigi, Jon, and Mega Man stepped out to meet Kirby and Link, both on the Warpstar. "It's about time you got here," Jon said to Link. "Wait, is Kirby all the help you got!"

"Acthuawy, Wink awso goth Theme Stal Fox tho come, buth we goth hele filsth," Kirby explained.

"I guess I should tell them that the deal's off," Link said as he got off the warpstar, pulled out his portable phonvision, and dialed a number. It rang a few times, until someone picked up.

"Hello? Oh, Link, we're heading for Shiitake Town right now," Peppy said over the phone.

"Yeah, about that..."

"Wait, you're already at Shiitake Town, aren't you?" Peppy said as he looked at Link's surrounding.

"Yeah, well, it turns out that we managed to take care of the situation ourselves, so I'm--"

"You're firing us! Hey Fox! This guy's firing us!"

"What? Why's he firing us?" Fox yelled from across the room.

"We didn't get there soon enough or something!"

"I told you we shouldn't have accepted a job from a man wearing a skirt!" Falco yelled.

"...I'm also wearing tights, you know," Link said in an annoyed voice.

"Hey, don't blame Link," Krystal said.

"Yeah, blame Slippy!" Peppy yelled across the room.

"What? What did I do?" Slippy yelled in that unisex voice of its.

"We were having a discussion about what gender you are while the Great Fox's programs started up, and we

ended up talking thirty minutes after it finished. Thirty minutes that could have been spent getting here!" Peppy said.

"Wait, exactly how long were we fighting?" Jon asked back in Monstro Town. Everyone there shrugged.

"Well, at least one good thing came from that discussion," Falco said. "Now we have pronouns for people whose sex we don't know. For example, hesh is the unisex form of he and she, hem is him/her, and hish is his/hers."

"You guys are mean ;;," Slippy said.

"Uhh, anyway, the point is, we don't need you, and you're not getting your money," Link said as he hung up.

Everyone walked over to the de-morphed Axem Rangers. "So, these badges mean that you won't attack us?" Mega Man asked.

"YEAH! THAT'S RIGHT!" Red said as he got up. The other snifits followed his lead.

"We don just go back on promises," Black said.

"...OH NO! THEY KNOW OUR SECRET IDENTITIES!"

"Relax Red, it's almost _inexecutable_ for someone who isn't a snifit to tell the difference between us," Green said.

"THAT RIGHT?"

"Yup."

"CAN YOU TELL THE! DIFFERENCE BETWEEN US?" Red said to Link.

"Besides the color coded outfits and the fact that the guy wearing black is five times paler than all of you combined, not really," Link answered.

";; Shut up, man," Black, the pale snifit, said.

"OKAY THEN! ANYWAY, WE MAY BE ALLIES! BUT! MARK MY! WORDS, MARIO! WE WILL KICK YOUR ASS! IN ONE MONTH!" Red said as the snifits teleported half a block to Waxon's ninja temple thing.

"One month?" Jon asked.

"The Fifth Annual Super Smash Brothers Tournament is in one month," Mega Man explained.

"Whoa, is it really that soon! Wait, annual! Toad said it was biannual when I fought Chameleo Arm on the Halberd!"

"Well, Toad-a isn't exactly the-a most reliable-a source," Mario said. "He-a once told-a me that-a the princess was-a in another castle, but she-a was actually in-a the next-a room." Mario then pulled out his wallet and took out two paper objects. A die appeared above Mario and it started spinning rapidly. He eventually jumped into it, causing it to stop on number five. "Congratulations-a, Mega Man, you-a will receive a-a coupon for-a Mario Brothers Plumbing to fix-a your pipes for-a free, due to your-a hard-a work in piloting the Bad-a System Robo and-a luck!"

"Thanks, but Dr. Light already built a plumber," Mega Man said as he changed back to Rock.

Mario rolled again, this time getting a two. "Jinx, your-a getting the-a coupon!"

"Thank you, but I you, already owe to Mario-sensei so, therefore I decrease courteously," Jinx said.

"Okie-dokie, so that-a means Jon gets the-a coupon," Mario said as he gave the coupon to on.

"Uh, thanks," Jon replied.

"Now-a Kirby, for helping us-a defeat the-a enemy, here's-a your prize."

Kirby took the coupon. "Flee Wocal Colt Sulgely? Justh fol this lemalk, I'm gonna kick youl ass exthla halth duling the thoulnament!"

Translation: Free Vocal Cord Surgery? Just for this remark, I'm gonna kick your ass extra hard during the tournament!

"Okie-dokie!" Mario said, not taking the threat seriously. "No-a offence, but-a me and Luigi have-a to get-a going! Arrivederci!"

"Wait, remember, we had nothing to do with all the damage, got it?" Jon said.

"Okie-dokie," Mario said as he and Luigi ran off somewhere, but not before he and Link gave each other the death stare.

"...What was that about?"

"Ever since the first tournament, me and Mario habe been rivals," explained Link. "I was always the better one, though."

"By the way, Jon analysis of the data from your test is complete. As for that what the it' To be more than common example of the sickness of area it does not seem the way in s. For example, when Hyrulian living in the country of dream it came, those, first, it was good completely, when it does for a while, you used no day there, the area they' which is about it increases with in the reals oven of area; To the average reals of ve world' which you follow the actual scale of Rostenburg which it agrees; With the quantity of actuality of s, reals, and Hyrulian' Natural reals of s -- -- don' As for large number of the match stats of t roughly it changes the fact that. There is a medicine for this, but, it can choose that at all drugstores. I nominate the relief person of the sickness of the area of Lutide very. At least, if 1 day 1 time you take that 30 days, your endurance increases very, height of your jump increases. However, this does not increase you HP, you the barrier does not become stronger and, as for lag of your pause still there is there," Jinx said.

Translation: By the way, Jon, the analysis of the data from your tests is complete. It seems that it's nothing more than a common case of Region Sickness. Dr. Mario must have assumed it was something else, due to where you come from. If, for example, a Hyrulian came to live in Dreamland, they would, at first, be perfectly fine, but after a while, the fact that the world's reality number according to Rostenburg Reality Scale, or reals, and the Hyrulian's natural reals--which matches up to the average reals of the regions they've been to where the reals of the regions are multiplied by how many days they spent there--don't match up causes many of their stats to wildly change. There is a medicine for this, however, and you should be able to pick it up at any drug store. I highly recommend Lutide Region Sickness Reliever. Take it once a day for at least thirty days and your endurance will greatly increase and you will increase your jump height. However, this will not increase your HP, your barrier will not get stronger,

and the delay in your PAUSE will still be there.

"How can I fix that?" Jon asked.

"Because of your HP, it seems like the central part, it is possible to do those which the item where HP of everyone and shopping increases does or it blends Woohoo with Starbeans. As for me because of the shield which can make for stopping, concerning that what which can speak to the master hand it does not possess thought. I was the winner of extreme pulverization Bros. As for tournament, it supports with '02, therefore as for me it is possible to possess the

conference of your master hand, as a favor," Jinx responded.

Translation: For your HP, you could do what everyone else does and buy HP increasing items, such as heart pieces or Woohoo Blends at Starbeans. I have no idea what you could do for the PAUSE, but for the shield, you could talk to Master Hand about it. I was the winner of the Super Smash Bros. Tournament back in '02, so I could have Master Hand meet with you as a favor.

"Link, did he really win the tournament in 2002?" Jon asked.

"Sadly, yes. He beat me--barely, mind you--in the quarterfinals, but the next year, Princess Zelda/Sheik beat him in Round 3, and since I _know_ I can beat them, I technically beat Jinx!" Link answered.

Rock sighed. When Link and Zelda/Sheik last fought in '01, Link lost.

"Okay, so Jinx, you go ahead and do that," Jon said. Jinx nodded and went back to his office, which was, amazingly enough, still standing. "Okay, my job is done and soon I'll have greater stats, not to mention I still have this net navi from the doctors' office."

"What? Jon, that's hospital property, you can't just keep it!" Rock yelled.

"Well, if it is, wouldn't have Jinx remembered about it? Martial artists are supposed to remember stuff like this!"

"Well..."

"Don't worry, it's not stealing if they don't know it's gone."

"Actu--" Rock was about to say, but he was interrupted by Rush teleporting down. A compartment opened up on his back and an image of Dr. Light appeared above him.

"Rock, I just finished programming the hologram room, so you can now go through all of the Robot Rebellions again to train for the tournament," the doctor said.

"Great, I'll be right there!" Rock said, immediately forgetting what he was telling Jon, as he teleported away, but Rush stayed.

"Game Master, I still have to meet with you, don't I? It must have slipped my mind. How about we talk at some time during the tournament?"

"Uh... sure," Jon replied.

"Great, I'll see you in one month," Dr. Light finished as his picture disappeared and Rush teleported away.

"Wait... MY CAR! IT'S STILL IN LITTLE HYRULE'S PARKING LOT!" Link realized.

"So why ton'th you justh geth ith?" Kirby asked.

"Basically, all of the monsters there are out to get me... hmmm, I wonder if the fangirls or the monsters won..."

"What?" Jon asked.

"Uh, nothing."

"Hey, I hawe an itea! Leth's both go thele, ant we can lun away flom the monsthels as thlaining!" Kirby suggested.

"That's a great idea, but you REALLY need to use that free vocal cord surgery coupon!" Link said.

"--" Kirby replied. The two hopped on the warpstar and flew away.

Jon pulled a warp capsule to the Main Region out of his GBA, threw it down, and walked in.

-I

-I

NEXT TIME ON CAPTAIN N: 2004!

**"Instrumental Version Of Captain N 2004 Theme Song"**

"The Fifth Annual Super Smash Bros. Tournament has finally began, and Hand Stadium, Main Region is packed! A lot of stuff is explained, and there are a lot of fights, none involving me, when suddenly, almost everyone disappears. Me, Toad, and Proto Man have to go deep under the stadium, following a lead from a letter from the one claiming to be the kidnapper."

"Be sure to read/watch Captain N Level 4: Paradoxic Smashfest!"

"You'll understand the title once you read it."

-I

-I


	4. Minchapter 1: Internet For Idiots

This is a minichapter featuring Jon going onto Nintendo's Internet for the first time and him meeting with Mega Man.EXE. It is basically filling with information that, while somewhat necessary, would slow down the chapter I would have put this information in otherwise. Also, there's no music.

**Vote on whether Diskoe lives or not.**

Alive: 0

Dead: 0

OMG RECAP

In a time so far into the future that civilization started over and became exactly what it is now, a zit-faced nerd named Jon Jones was sucked into his GameCube. Jon came to the Video Game Universe, specifically the country of Nintendo. There, he became the successor to Kevin Keene and became the new Game Master.

Afterwards, Dr. Wily, under orders from Mother Brain, attacked the Presidential Castle. The invasion was stopped, but it was only a distraction for Crash Man to steal the Map Cartridge. Jon confronted the Robot Master and, using his newfound ability to freeze time, managed to do significant damage to him. However, he ran out of Time Points and could no longer "PAUSE", but Mega Man thankfully came to his rescue.

The day after that, Jon and Mega Man went to Popstar to investigate why the Dark Matter was protecting the Star Rod. They were joined by Link and Alucard, but Alucard left soon afterwards to search for (or "prossess") his father's parts. However, Metaknight, who was possessed by the Nightmare, attacked them. With the help of Kirby, they managed to defeat him, however. Unfortunately, while they were distracted, Mother Brain stole the Star Rod.

About a month later, Wily attempted to invade the castle again, but was defeated. However, Dr. Mario watched Jon's fights and sent him to Jinx to be treated for his Real Life Physics. Link and Mega Man went with Jon to Monstro Town, but went to different areas. Jon went to Shiitake Town while Mega Man and Link went to Little Hyrule. Meanwhile, Wily lost his Skull Fortress and was forced to move into an apartment for now. He also built another robot named Diskoe.

**Decide whether he survives or not!!!**

Alive: 0

Dead: 0

Super Mario RPG's Jinx, who was now a doctor, put Jon through several online tests. Before the results were sent to Jon, Mario led a huge parade outside, which everyone ran outside to watch. Suddenly, the Axem Rangers appeared to get revenge on Mario and summoned a huge megazord. Jinx had everyone use his own megazord to defeat the Axem Rangers. Afterwards, the Axem Rangers became allies. It was also revealed that the Super Smash Bros. Tournament was coming up in a month and everyone left to train.

By the way:

Dreams are a combination of the Kirby ones (Star Rod is the source) and Mario (dreams travel along the Star Road).

The Internet is based off of Mega Man Battle Network because, as far as I know, it has the only representation of the Internet on a Nintendo system game.

**Now Loading...**

**MINIGAME ONE: INTERNET FOR IDIOTS**

Jon woke up and got out of bed, careful to avoid Mr. Chavéz the Angry Sun, and went down to the kitchen for breakfast. He got some cereal, went back to his room, and watched TV while going through his world's Internet, using a keyboard attachment and the system itself as a mouse. "It's amazing how many games have come out since I got here, and it's amazing how quickly they were put online. Sure, I feel a little dirty for downloading ROMs, but it's not like I have any other way of getting a game here." While Jon downloaded some more games, with a little pR0 on the side, he came to realization. "You know, I still haven't checked out this world's Internet! It probably won't mess up the downloads from the other Internet, so now is as good a time as any."

The Game Master shrugged and used his start menu to switch over to Game Universe Internet mode. Nothing happened.

"Oh ,right, I have to jack-in first," Jon thought as he walked over to a port in the wall and plugged his GBA into it, using the link cable. The geek pressed START and he saw the jack-in sequence from the Mega Man Battle Network anime.

**INTERNET: MAIN CASTLE NETWORK...**

The network for the castle was a lot different from the Monstro Medical Network. The sky was black with the GameCube symbols flying everywhere, and the ground was red with orange borders a few inches from the edge. However, one of the most notable things about the area was the sheer amount of locked gates that required special keys and passes. In fact, it was like the only path that wasn't locked was the path to the link to the Internet itself. Jon walked to a few of the gates to figure out what he needed to go through, but he found that there was a very small chance of him getting the passes for them. Shrugging, Jon stepped into the Internet warp.

**INTERNET: MAIN NET 3**

In the Main Net 3, the sky was red with the GameCube symbols and the ground was blue with purple borders. There was a security cube in front of him and he simply went through it, since he had the code to open the cube. The Game Master looked around. The area was filled with navis, but Jon found that he just went through them. "WTF?" he thought. He tapped one of the "illusions" and an options menu with a keyboard at the bottom came up. "Lone run on? I guess that's why I'm going through everyone, so I'll be able to go through the Internet alone. I'll just turn this off." Jon did that and decided to walk around a bit.

Eventually, a blue navi came up to him, holding a text file, which he read off of. "Uh... Hello, I am a volunteer for the Net Society Learners Program, helping first-time operators get through the Internet without any trouble. Are you a first-time operator?" the blue navi asked, while a second voice coming from a communicator-type thing on his wrist make a light snicker toward the speech.

The Game Master was about to get the hell out of there, but he noticed something about the navi. "Aren't you Mega Man.EXE?" Jon asked.

"See Mega Man, I told you our fame would get us through this assignment in no time!" the voice from Mega Man.EXE's (no relation to the N-Team member other than Capcom) wrist-com-link.

"Lan, be quiet!" the navi said to his operator (person who has the navi do stuff, exists in real world), Lan, in a loud whisper. "Ahem Yes, I'm Mega Man.EXE," he said, turning his attention back to Jon. "Are you a new operator?"

"Yeah," Jon replied.

"Okay, then just sign your name, your operator's name and age on this text file."

Jon did that and Mega Man.EXE looked at the file.

"Wow! Are you actually _the_ Jon Jones?!"

"Jon... Jones?" Lan asked.

"Lan, don't tell me you don't know! Jon Jones is the current Game Master, from the Real World!"

"Oh, right, now I remember! All of the adults were complaining about you failing to save the Star Rod and stopping dreams from being created, but I think you saving Monstro Town in that giant robot made up for it... except for you destroying half the town."

"Lan, it still hasn't been discovered who have been piloting the robot that defeated the Axem Rangers, don't believe everything Dex says!"

"Uh, I am _the_ Jon Jones by the way," Jon interrupted before the two br-SPOILERS-rs went off on a tangent in their conversation.

"Oh right, sorry," Mega Man.EXE said as he pulled out a text file.

"Wait, if you didn't pilot that giant robot, you haven't really done anything good on your missions yet, have you?" asked Lan.

"Lan, I'm sure he saved a few people during his missions, and stuff like that."

"Yeah, like when I defeated Metaknight and stopped Crash Man from stealing the Map Cartridge," Jon added.

"I agree with you on that first one, but... what's a Map Cartridge?" asked the navi.

"Uh, it's nothing, just one of the King's favorite vases! If everyone went through all the trouble of hiding it somewhere, then they probably don't want me telling everyone I meet about it."

"Uhh... okay then," said Lan.

"Anyway, we need to get on with this quick lesson on how to use the Internet. Just set into this link," Mega Man.EXE spoke. He poked the air in front of him and a menu came up. In the tabs, he selected "bookmarks", and selected a link. Suddenly, a warp similar to the ones in the real world (for future reference, the _real_ real world will be capitalized) appeared in front of the two characters, and they stepped in. They then found themselves in an area similar to the school networks from the Mega Man Battle Network games.

**INTERNET: NS TUTORIAL NETWORK...**

Jon looked around the area and was slightly embarrassed to find that most of the navis being taught how to use the Internet belonged either to small children or people well into their seventies.

"Okay, the fi--" Mega Man.EXE was about to say, but he was interrupted by Lan.

"Wait, I just noticed, is that a Sub-Synchro Medical Device you're using?"

Jon was at first confused by what this meant, but he managed to make a link between that and the Full Synchro from Mega Man Battle Network 3 and on, which allowed the operator to basically fuse with their navi, giving them a huge power boost. "I guess that must be what I'm using right now, considering that Jinx said the download was so slow because I needed a navi for it to work correctly. It must be a Sub-Synchro either because it's weaker, lasts a shorter time, or maybe both. Yeah," Jon thought for a while and then replied.

"How did you get it? I thought only hospitals could use them," Lan asked.

"Uhh...."

"Lan, someone probably gave it to him, probably for saving them during the entire Monstro Town thing," Mega Man.EXE pointed out.

"Uhh... Yeah..."

"Anyway, one of the first rules of Net Safety--" the navi was about to say, but was interrupted yet again.

"Wait, Net Safety? I thought I was just going to learn how to use links and stuff!"

"Well, you broke one of the rules, so I have to tell you about them."

"Okay, just tell me the rule I broke."

"When we met, you should have waited for me to pull out my Net Society badge before you signed the sheet. For all you know, you could have been signing up for ad-ware."

"Ah, okay, anyway, can you just tell me how to use links and stuff like that?"

"Sure, to use links, just step onto any glowing arrows in an area the go to another area. To bring up the menu, simply point in front of you. In the menu, you can create bookmarks, which appear as warps like in the real world, use the built in search engine to find an area, and stuff like that."

"You probably want to know a good place to find stuff, right?" Lan asked.

"I guess," Jon spoke.

"Well, here's the URL for the Main Net Square, and from there, you can bookmark it," Lan said as a text file appeared in front of Mega Man.EXE and he handed it to Jon.

"Thanks. Oh, and one last question, is there any real reason to use navi mode instead of "surf mode" on the menu, which I guess is like the Internet in the Real World?"

"Well, you can talk with you navi and your friends easily, it can be sometimes faster than surf mode, and there are much less ads," Mega Man.EXE said.

"That last reason is more than enough for me," Jon admitted. "Bye," he said as he walked away. He wasn't very good at that.

"Wait, two more things, when you do encounter ads, either avoid it or shoot it if it comes near you, don't try to press the X button. And also, there have been rumors in the Undernet about a secret organization of robots against biological organisms that is planning to kill King Game and Watch sometime soon. While it's just a rumor, you might as well tell the king about it."

"Thanks, I will," Jon said as he opened the text file Mega Man.EXE gave him earlier and activated the link to the Main Net Square. A warp appeared, which the Game Master stepped through, and he found himself in a city-of-tomorrow type environment (like in the animé).

**INTERNET: MAIN NET SQUARE...**

He went into lone mode too avoid the large crowds and walked around a bit. He eventually came to a building housing a porn site and went up to the door.

"Are you over 18?" the door asked.

"Yeah," Jon lied.

The doors opened and Jon went in, setting a bad example for the children reading this.


	5. Paradoxic Smashfest Day 1

The symbol "&" will show the thoughts of characters.

"-I" will act as a section break.

"-" has replaced all astericks, which do not show up here.

All new formats will be applied to the previous chapters after the redone version is finished.

Currently, both parts of Ch. 4 use this format.

Due to a bunch of computer problems, an earlier draft was accidentally deleted, so I had to start over, if you're wondering what's taking so long.

The main point of this note, however, is that I've decided to do a new format for my stories: I'll post each chapter in separate parts like everyone else. Thus, feast your eyes on part one of Chapter 4. Some things may still be changed.

Unfortunately, I'm redoing Chs. 1-3 again, but don't worry, the new chapters are higher on my list of priorities.

Thankfully, Ch. 4 doesn't have anything that would be too badly affected by the 2nd remake of Ch.s 1-3, so don't worry about that. Also, there aren't any musical cues or pop-ups in this part of the story, but they will appear later.

I

I

Toad's kart drove down the road, running over every small furry animal it could. Jon didn't exactly approve of this, but he decided not to say anything, as the talking fungus brought his bazooka with him, which he used to blow up anything he missed.

"You'd think there would be more traffic, with the Smash Bros. Tournament and everything," the Game Master, who was hanging off the back of the kart, pointed out.

"Well, most people use warps to get to the city, but that costs more so I'm driving."

"Toad, we had to get there before 7:30 and the everyone starts coming in!"

"Don't worry, showing up on time is a sign of weakness, so ifWOAH, THERE'S A BIG ONE!" Toad yelled as he swerved off the road and ran right into a large blue bird. There was a loud thud as the kart rammed into the bird, went over it, and went back over. "You know, that bird deserved to die. Did you hear it talking jive at me?"

"Uh… What are you doing?" a guy inquired. He was wearing a gray armor with a red helmet, gloves, boots, and crotch-protector; a long yellow scarf; and black sunglasses.

"Proto Man?" Jon pondered out loud as he looked behind the car and noticed that the bird they just ran over was, in fact, Beat the robot bird. "It was all Toad's fault, I was just riding on the back!"

"… Right…" Proto Man, Mega Man's cooler older brother said in a rather annoyed voice as he gathered up Beat's parts.

"Wait, are you competing in the Smash Bros. Tournament?" Jon asked.

"… Say, aren't you that new Game Master?"

Jon got somewhat irked by Proto Man avoiding his question, but he realized that he tended to do the exact same thing and decided not to say anything about it. "Yeah, I'm Jon Jones, Game Master, and this is Toad, the guy that ran over your bird."

"…A Toad or the Toad? Because if you're _the _Toad, then that's a pretty lame first name. It's like you being named 'Human' or something."

"You do realize that I have a bazooka with me, right?" Toad brought up.

"And I have a plasma cannon, what's your point?"

"… Mine's better."

"Toad, I have to get to the stadium, now's not the time to fight," Jon called attention to.

"I already fought him! You see, I went back in time and stuck a Bob-Omb in his mouth and then came back to the present, and all I have to do is press this button and he will go into the future and get blown up by Future-Me using a second button! Watch and learn!" Toad "revealed" as he pulled out a remote control and pressed a button, but nothing happened. "You see, I sent Proto Man two half-nanoseconds into the future, and now I'll blow him up!" Toad pressed a second button, and nothing happened. "WHAT? HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE!"

"Let's just say I removed the bomb while I was traveling through time," Proto Man said.

"Are you competing in the Smash Bros. Tournament?" Jon repeated.

"No, I'm just here to wish my bro good luck. He's on that new N-Team of yours, right?"

"Yeah. By the way, what were you doing on the Halberd II a few months ago?"

"The same thing you were doing, I guess. I was also the one who took care of the Poppy Bros. after they fell off the ship, because they didn't die after they fell off."

"I guess that makes sense, considering that me, Mega Man, Link, and Kirby didn't die when we fell off the ship. So what weapon did you get from them?"

"Just a clone of the Hyper Bomb called the Poppy Bomber. Anyway, I better be going," the robot said before he whistled and teleported away with Beat's parts. Afterwards, Toad concluded that the bomb was simply trapped in time and the two people in the kart drove toward the nearby Hand City.

**Now Loading…..**

**Level 4: Paradoxic Smashfest**

**Because Pointless Cameos Are A Good Thing...**

Day 1: The Opening Ceremonies, Off To A Good Start 

The kart drove down the road until it reached a huge, unmoving line of cars. Jon looked over and found that it seemed to stretch for forever. "I guess we're going off road from here," Toad commented as he turned the kart to the left onto the grass and continued driving, eventually stopping on a hill overlooking their destination a few minutes later. There wasn't anything very special about it and it seemed no different than any other small city, except for the mind-rapingly large dome in the center. "Welcome to Hand City, home of the Super Smash Bros. Tournament! Like a solar flare rushing from a sunspot, the city starts out like any other place, but then suddenly explodes in a burst of energy during the tournament, only to die down a few days later!"

"Nice analogy, I guess. But I was sure we were going to be late, but it's not even dark yet, so we must be making good time," Jon noticed.

"Not really," Toad replied. Almost on cue, the entire world seemed to go black, but it was relit by the moon rising into the sky and the city lights.

"Oh, right, I'll never get used to that." In game worlds with a lower amount of reals, day and night switch without any real warning. The kart continued on to their destination.

I

I

About thirty or so minutes later that night...

"Over here... put it down... there... NO, look where I'm pointing! Put it down there! ... NO, NOT THERE! Do I have to get Toad to give you that tutorial again? No offence, but this is like trying to teach a new gamer how to beat Mike Tyson in Punch-Out," Jon yelled up to a crane that just placed a statue of the Hand Brothers in the middle of the arena instead of on the button that opened the door.

"Game Master, you know I'm not good at controlling machines!" Link yelled back from the crane. "Why couldn't you get Mega Man to do this tournament tradition?"

"All of the fighters were needed to control the crowd, and if we sent you out there, all of the girls would go insane! Okay, now try again, but look at where I'm pointing!" Link put the statue in the wrong place again. "Gah! Let me in there!" Jon said as he climbed up the ladder and placed the statue on the button, causing the doors to burst open and the crowd poured into the seats, running over the fighters in the process. The now wounded fighters crawled into Dr. Mario's office, but Jon and Link were unharmed in the safety of their crane.

Once everyone had sat down and the crane was moved away, the lights switched off, shrouding the entire area in darkness, and mysterious laughter came from the background. While the newer viewers cowered in their seats, the ones who watched the previous four tournaments merely grinned. A giant white glove supported by nothing flew down from the horizon, every motion captured by a bright spotlight, and as he landed on the fighting ring, the laughter ceased and the lights turned back to normal. "Welcome to Hand Stadium, location of the 5th Annual Super Smash Brothers Tournament! I am Master Hand, founder of the Tournament and I would like to thank you all for coming," Master Hand somehow yelled through his nonexistent mouth. "It is very hard to believe that this it didn't exist only five years ago, when it has become synonymous with Nintendo all around Videoland, and it may be even harder to believe that"

Jon was sitting in the stands by himself when a toad with blue spots on his head, a black suit, and sunglasses, no relation to the one already introduced, approached him. "Mr. Jones? Could you come with me to the Commentator's Box?"

"Uh, sure," he said in a somewhat annoyed voice, as he was going to miss Master Hand's speech, not to mention he was perplexed by a toad wearing sunglasses in the middle of the night. The two went inside the well-lit halls of the stadium and came to the room after an elevator ride. Inside the room, Jon saw Toad and a strange robot that looked like a 3-foot tin can with arms and a jet pack and the other toad left.

"So, why did you need me here?" he asked them.

"Well, there are supposed to be three commentators the broadcast their commentary over every major news network, but the third commentator, Omochao, mysteriously disappeared just a minute ago with absolutely no explanation at all. You were next on the list, so you have to take his place," explained the tin can-bot with a light Texan accent who, unexplained to Jon, was a world famous sports commentator that went by the name Soup.

"Uh, okay. So what do we comment on now?" the Game Master queried as he sat down on the blue chair.

"Not much until Master Hand finishes his speech. He does the exact same one each year and it gets rather boring. First he explains the history of the tournament and how he was only known to a few select plotologists before" Toad groaned.

"Wait," Jon interrupted, "what's a plotologist?"

"It's a scientist who studies plot holes," the mushroom-man explained.

"That seems like a strange thing to study..."

"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, PLOT HOLES ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT PART OF VIDEOLAND, AND WITHOUT THEM THIS WORLD WOULD BE NOTHING LIKE IT IS TODAY!"

"o0 Okay..."

"Don't worry, Toad here just gets worked up when someone doesn't know about plot holes because he's a plot mage," Soup explained.

"Uh, thanks, but that didn't really help. What's a plot mage, and why are plot holes so important?"

WARNING: EXPOSITION AHEAD! There is a summary of the information right after this.

"Basically," a now calm Toad started off, "an invisibleinvisible to normal people at leastwarp in the space-time continuum called the Eye of the Fourth Wall, which always exists one or more years in the future, records data of events in this world and transfers it to the minds of people in our present, usually game developers. The game developers then turn the data into games in your world. However, through mis-mashing of data from different people, thoughts that occur simultaneously with the acquiring of the information, efforts to make it more fun, efforts to make it more 'mature', corporations, etc, the data gets altered and the game is different from what will actually happen. The Game World is a daughter dimension of the Real World, formed by the thoughts and creations of Real Worlders, so what happens in your world directly affects ours, or causes a plot hole to use a plotologic term. For example, say Mario will be killed by Bowser one year or so into the future. The Eye of the Fourth Wall will record this data, but when the game comes out, Mario will somehow survive, because you can't just have Nintendo's mascot die. Thus, in this world, Mario will end up surviving Bowser's attack, but it also creates a plot hole. These plot holes create the messages on the screen such as the YOU GOTTEN ones, and are used to create warps and infinite item holders, among other things. There are two types of people who study plot holesplotologists and plot mages. Plotologists study it scientifically while plot mages use it for magic, but they are both able so see the EotFW and see somewhat into the Real World. For example, I use it to summon those YES and NO buttons and teleport by walking out of the Eye of the Fourth Wall's view. Master Hand is currently one of the leaders in plotology."

"Huh, that's pretty cool," Jon said, genuinely interested in how the Video Game Universe worked.

For those who didn't get all that:

In the game-verse, the plot holes play a major part in everyone's' lives. For example, they are used for warps, items, screen messages (like the YOU GOTTEN signs), and much more.

The Eye of the Fourth Wall records data from the Game World and sends it into the minds of Real Worlders, usually game developers.

Through outside influences, this data is altered when put into game form. This causes the Game World to change in order to fit the game, which in turn causes plot holes in Videoland.

There are two type of people that study plot holesplotologists, or plot hole scientists; and plot mages, who use plot holes for magic uses. Toad is an example of a plot mage, with his buttons-out-of-nowhere and walking off screen, and Master Hand is a world famous plotologist.

"It looks like Master Hand's speech has ended," Soup the tin can commented.

"Wait, I missed all of it! What did he say?"

This next part is rather meaning-less. To skip it, use the Find function (Ctrl+F) to search for ;lkhfd

"Like Toad was saying earlier, Master Hand pretty much does the same speech every year. He first starts out with how he was just a little known plotologist seven years ago, then goes on to how he met with his long-lost brother Crazy Hand. Soon, they formed the award-winning duo of scientists, the Hand Brothers: Crazy Hand would come up with ideas and solutions that seemed absolutely ludicrous to every other scientist, while Master Hand would make them happen. After about an year, Crazy Hand came up with an insane ideaa tournament featuring all of Nintendo's stars! Master Hand managed the host the first tournament on April 26, 1999 at the old Poun Stadium and it was quite humble compared to what it is now, but after the incredible revenues came in, he started hosting the tournament every year, and slowly added to it. Afterwards, he goes on to stuff like noteworthy fights, and then he probably apologizes for the entire Giga Bowser/Metal Mario incident during the 2001 Tournament and assures us that everyone involved with it is still banned until 2006. That's it in a nutshell."

"Giga Bowser incident? You mean that wasn't planned?"

"Nope. Bowser somehow managed the absorb all of the power from the stadium and started attacking everyone. He was defeated, but he later came back with the help of Mewtwo and Ganondorf, so every other fighter joined together to fight them, and eventually defeated him. His elemental powers were gone and his appearance changed back to normal, but he continued growing for about an year. He then suddenly changed back to normal when Mario defeated him again. Before the entire Giga Bowser thing, Bowser managed to get a bunch of his Magikoopas to make clones of Mario and Luigi using the Metal Boxes and attacked the fighters with them, but it wasn't found out that Bowser was behind it until the Giga Bowser thing."

For some reason, someone in the audience yelled, ";lkhfd" and then self-destructed out of courtesy.

"Anyway, the announcement is about to start, you better get ready," revealed Soup the tin can.

"Wait, what do I say!"

"Just follow our lead," explained Soup. "Due to you having to replace Omochao so suddenly, you can't memorize the script like the rest of us did, so you can just read off of the cue cards."

A lakitu came into the room with a tripod camera resting on his cloud.

"Wait, this is being broadcast? I thought we were the announcers!"

"You say 'wait' too much. Stop it," Toad simply said.

"Master Hand has Super Smash Bros. Tournament News broadcast to every major news network," Soup, who is getting more lines than such an unimportant character should, explained. "I thought you already knew that."

"SHUT UP, the broadcast is about to start!" Toad yelled. Everyone turned to face the camera.

After a news jingle played, Soup started off.

"Welcome to this special 5th Anniversary Addition of Super Smash Brothers Tournament News. With us tonight are Game Master Jon Jones the human and a member of King Game and Watch's, who will be fighting here tomorrow at the preliminaries, cabinet, Toad the toad. The opening ceremonies will start in exactly fifteen minutes, and from what I understand they will be quite spectacular this year. As you may notice from our camera footage, security has been somewhat decreased from last year, as people have calmed down about the possibility of another Giga Bowser incident, but make no mistake, it is still greater than 1999-2001. The audience is obviously very excited, and all of us here are too."

"On the subject of excitement, Soup, we managed to prepare a special retrospective of the tournament, which I hope all of you will enjoy," Toad said.

"Well Toad, can we show it in under ten minutes?" Jon read off of the cue cards.

"Of course we can, I wouldn't make it any other way. Again, I hope all of you folks at home enjoy it."

The lakitu stopped filming. On the large television screens of the arena, the previously mentioned video started playing and the reporters/announcers turned to watch it.

I

I

Meanwhile, there was a large space in the stands that no normal person dared enter. This was the traditional Mad Scientists section. There was no rule against sitting there, but it's not like anyone except that select group of people wanted to. In fact, the area was surrounded by a boundary of three to four empty chairs, sometimes five if the audience member cared about their brains. In this magical place with fairies and furry woodland creaturesradioactive and mechanical respectivelyDr. Albert Wily sat with a couple of his friends.

"So anyway, there I was, and all of a sudden these bird alien things steal my brain!" said a short little bald man with an N on his head.

"Pffhahahaha, are you serious! That's what they did!" laughed a large crocodile-type creature in a lab coat. "Boy, it's a good thing you kame here for the tournament instead of staying in Mikrosoft and Sony, Nintendo-Head. It just wouldn't have been the same!"

"Wait until you hear this! One time, I was in my fortress, and I decided" another balding man, with no N, began.

"Wily, you've told this one every time we get together, aren't you going to do anything new? Those Robot Rebellion things you do are interesting, but it's been years since you've started one, what's taking so long?" asked a floating robotic head that wasn't human-like at all.

"Hey, I'm just taking my time. At least I've actually built something recently, which is more than I can say for 'Kroky' here."

"Hey, I was stuck in that big eggshell for a few years, it takes time to get over that! I had to be fed by my kousin through a little hole in it! Kan you imagine how embarrassing that is for a mad scientist?" the crocodile responded.

"Right, right, I'm sorry. I'm just a little angry about the fact that this one government agent took my Skull Fortress, even if I did get a rather nice apartment," Wily explained.

"Wait, wait, a government agent came to your Skull Fortress and took it?" asked a fat, also balding scientist in a red suit.

"Yeah, some FBI agent named Victor Von Killdeath or something."

"Are you kidding! Killdeath is one of my robots!"

"Really? Then why did you have him take my fortress, Ivo! Do all of those years in college mean nothing!"

"Sorry Al, I didn't know it was you! You know how Steelix Metalcrafters Co. has a buy-one-get-twelve-free thing for their top buyer at the end of every quarter?"

"Yeah, I used to be the top buyer under the name Led-Z Industries."

"And I was Eggster Corp. in second place."

"Don't tell me," interrupted some random scientist from Team Rocket, because I seriously can not think of any more mad scientists from games, "you made Killdeath in order to trick 'Led-Z' into going out of business, didn't you!"

"Yeah, I did. Of course, I'm not that good at making humanoid robots, so I took one of Wily's robots' face, put it on one of my E-1000 units, gave it more advanced instructions, and threw a trenchcoat over it. Anyway, I had no intention of screwing you over, Al, so if there's anything I can do to make up for it..."

"...Well, I guess I could use a bigger apartment..."

"I know! You could stay with me on my new Egg Carrier 3.0!"

"I don't know, do you have room?"

"Of course I do, or my name isn't DR. IVO EGGMAN ROBOTNIK!" the plump doctor in high heels yelled as he stood up.

"Jeez, Ivo, we all know each other here, you don't need to yell out your name!" pointed 'Nintendo-Head'.

"Well, I'll think about it," Wily stated.

"Say, why do they call you Nintendo-Head?" asked someone.

"Well, it's simple. When I was in college, during the Sega-Nintendo Wars, I tattooed this N on my forehead to show my support for Nintendo, but, of course, this was before I moved to Sonywait, who the hell are you!" With that last sentence, all of the mad scientists turned to the interloper. He was a shyguy, and an ugly one at that.

"My name is Sid. Some guy took my chair and I couldn't find an empty seat, so I just sat here."

"...Tongue? Get'm," the floating head simply ordered.

One of the scientists pulled out a potion, drank it, and turned into a chicken-man.

"...What the" Sid said.

"BukCAW!" the chicken-man yelled as he leaped out of his seat and chased after the now running Sid with his wings stretched out.

Like I stated earlier, there was no rule against sitting there, but it wasn't like anyone wanted to.

I

I

"...And we're back," Soup said as the camera reactivated and the retrospective ended. "Boy, Toad, for someone who was voted least competent politician of 2003, you can sure make a good documentary."

"Well, what some people don't realize is that while my public, and private, appearance is very bleh, slap a political case onto my desk and I'll have it solved in no time," Toad explained.

"Say Toad, I've noticed that you haven't been acting your usual self," Jon revealed, still reading off of the cue cards.

"Hey, I'm getting 80 coins if I don't act out, don't ruin it now!"

All three of them laughed, Jon sounding fakest of them all.

"Anyway, the opening ceremonies will start any moment now with the traditional dance showcasing the history of a region. Omoerr, Jon, could you tell us what region the dance will be about this year?"

"Sure Soup. Since this is the 5th tournament and all, the dance will be a redone version of the original 1999 dance of The Mushroom Kingdom, with a higher budget of course."

"Andwhoa! The generators are forming the Hand Matter Envelope around the ring!"

By this point, everyone was looking straight at it: inside the boundary of the stands, there was the Smash Ring. Unlike the tournament ring you would find in a typical martial arts show, the Smash Ring wasn't made of white stone blocks and it wasn't even leveled above the ground. Instead, there was a perfectly flat area of dark green that was rectangular in shape, stretched about 3/4 of a football field in length and 1/2 of one in width. Forming a circle about it were eight black hemispheres that slowly spiraled away from it, consistently remaining equidistant from each other, as several blue energy comets flew from them, some flying about randomly, but most formed a much larger hemisphere of energy surrounding the green field. As in response to this, the green slowly changed to red, then blue, then orange, then purple, and so on constantly quickening its pace until all of the colors seemed to blend together into whiteness. The black hemispheres continued outward and the larger blue hemisphere expanded with them. They passed over a trio of gray doors but stopped just as they reached the inner boundary of a second one, where a silver claw-like object came out of each and seemingly clamped into the energy field. The blue hemisphere of energy reacted violently to this at first, forming flares of energy sometimes reaching only a foot beyond the reach of a front seaterthe TV screens advised them not to touch itand a red crack raced across the shell from each of the claws until they reached the apex. At that point, they straightened out and formed a shining red star where they met, and the blue calmed down. However, when the red star disappeared, the entire stadium was engulfed by the light of the Smash Ring, which suddenly tripled in brightness and made it impossible to see inside the energy field, though shaded windows thankfully came down a few seconds before this to prevent anybodies' eyes from being hurt.

When the flashing died down, everything inside the border formed by the standsthe black hemispheres, the blue hemisphere, the claws, everythingwas replaced by a grass field.

"I don't know about you, Soup, but I doubt the upcoming dance will be a better spectacle than that," Jon admitted without looking at the cue cards.

"I'll have to agree with you there, that's one of the problems with these opening ceremonies," Soup responded. "For those of you new to the entire Super Smash Brothers experience, what you just saw was the creation of the Hand Matter Envelope"

"Sorry to interrupt you, but the event seems to be starting," Toad called attention to as a series of koopa troopas and toads danced onto the field. "This part shows how close the toads and koopas were in the old days."

"As I was saying," Soup continued, not intent with being silent. "The Hand Matter Envelope produces an area where a substance called Hand Matter, the invisible material that is used in the ring to make sure no real harm comes to the fighters and makes it so that they instead become lighter the more the are hit, among other things. One of the other, and most important, uses is that it can be used to produce solid light holograms such as the various fighting areas using a computer program. To make sure they work correctly, they do a test run of each of themusing an area just as large as the one hereunder the stadium. What they did here was"

"This next section shows how the coming of the Great Boo Queen Akfegi forced one of the koopas, Morton Koopa the First, to take leadership over both the koopa troopas and the toads," said Toad as the scenery changed with another flashshaded glass again coming down on time.

"What they did here was do a solid light hologram of a grassy field... or now a dreary graveyard. However, the Hand Matter can only be contained inside of a Hand Matter Envelope, which was formed by the black hemispheres or Hand Matter Membrane Generators, and held in place by the clamps or Hand Matter Membrane-to-Envelope Stabilizers. Normally, the holograms are done right on top of the Smash Ring, but it can be done well outside of it with just a little extra energy like it is now. There Toad, I'm done."

"That's good. Anyway, what is being shown here is Morton Koopa making the final strike on Akfegi, but as he does, he absorbs some of her evil, cursing him with every second generation from his bloodline becoming evil. One interesting thing of note is that Bowser Koopa is not one of these generations, meaning that he is just naturally evil, but all of his children will be evil due to Alfegi's curse."

The event eventually ended and everyone moved on to the next.

"With the highlight of the opening ceremonies over, we will now move on to lesser things. First, we will have the hit band, The Darkcepticons, performing their hit single 'Kafighting'," Soup the tin can spoke into the microphone.

"Hit band? I've never heard of them," remarked Toad.

"Well, to tell the truth, they just paid us about 500,000 Galactic Federation credits, which is about 20,000,000 in coins and 1,000,000 in dollars!"

"500,000 Galactic Federation credits?" thought Mother Brain. Her security cameras around the base recorded this information as some of the Space Pirate troops watched the live broadcast. "Strange, that's the same amount of money that was taken from our reserves on Haoa II."

"Anyway, here come the musicians now!" yelled Soup as two menone short and the other tall and fatslowly crept into the Smash Ring wearing dark cloaks. The Hand Matter Envelope was formed again, but the creation was much quicker and less spectacular than before, as everything was already in position and powered up. When the flashing died down, a raised platform such as what you would find in a concert appeared along with all of the required stereo equipment. The two cloaked figures stood behind their microphones as the music started.

"I'm Tron O'Mega!" yelled the taller one.

"And I'm Scream of the Stars!" yelled the other.

"And we're gonna KICK YOUR ASS!" they both yelled.

Heavy metal blasted from the speakers and Scream of the Stars began the lyrics.

"Kafighting... EVIL BY MOONLIGHT!"

"OW! THE MOONLIGHT'S GONNA EAT YOUR SPOON **OH**!" Tron O'Mega yelled as a guitar fell from the sky. He grabbed it and smashed it into the ground to stress the OH and kicked the pieces on to a fake grass field.

"Winning love by DAY MOONLIGHT!"

"I need to CUT YOUR NAILS! CUT YOUR NAILS! Doesn't matter why but I need to **CUT YOUR NAILS AHHHHHHH!**" The music briefly paused twicebetween NAILS! and CUT; and between NAILS! and Doesn'tand it picked up during the last sentence. After the larger singer finished that part of the lyrics, both of them had a head-banging fest. This cased their hoods to fall backwards, revealing Eggplant Wizard and King Hippo.

Eggplant Wizard was about to continue the song, but he noticed that his hood was back so he yelled, "QUICK! SWITCH TO PROGRAM 14576126617562678560235476516378276412!"

Who ever was operating the holograms complied and, in a flash of light, the stage changed into a grassy hill at night and what appeared to be the moon from The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask in the background.

The music started and both of them sang together.

"I like the MOOOOON! Because it COMES FOR US! It has a silly FACE! Just like my VASE, and my MACE, and my suitCASE, and my GRADUATE'S DEGREE IN WIZARDRY, though that is mostly SCIBBLES and perhaps a few TALLY MARKS, I think, and I also spilled one or two keyboards... JUST LIKE THE MOON!"

Little did they notice that, like in Termina, the moon was slowly falling toward their location. As the song went on, the moon was not stopped by anything like it was in the game and crashed right into the two of them. The force sent both of them flying out of the Hand Matter Envelope, unharmed due to the substance kept in the field and they were greatly slowed down, but they still ended up falling out of the stadium.

"The Darkcepticons's 'Kafighting', everyone. I have a note here from them stating that their album can now be found in Dan's Record Store."

The ceremonies went on for a while longer, until around 10:00 to be precise. When the last event ended, the Super Smash Bros. Melee theme burst from some unknown area of the stadium.

"Well folks, the tournament's theme song signifies the official end of the opening ceremonies, but don't worry, the preliminaries will be early tomorrow morning and the first match will be at exactly 4:00 PM. One interesting thing about the SSB Tournament is that the preliminaries are not actual fights but are instead various athletic events depending on their claimed strength such as running where the fighters are forced to run a mile in under 2 minutes, sharpshooting, weightlifting, etc, and the ones that complete the requirements end up in the tournament. They sometimes take the top runners, shooters, lifters, etc, if there are too many people," Soup explained.

"Even though everyone is leaving, we're staying here for a while longer to give you the inside scoop," Toad said as all of the announcers turned to face the camera. "As you know, 3rd Party fighters were introduced into the tournament in 2002 and have been a part of it since. With us today is one of the 3rd Party fighters in this tournament, who made it to the final round last time, Metal Sonic!"

Jon realized that the statement was deceiving, as he found out how the tournament was ordered a few days before. It starts out with 32 fighters, who all fight each other one-on-one, leaving 16 fighters. Then, everyone is placed into pairs, which fight each other, leaving 8 fighters. There is another team battle, leaving 4. Then, those four fight each other in a battle royal. So, basically, Metal Sonic was one of four finalists in the last tournament.

As soon as Jon's thought ended, the robotic version of everyone's favorite blue hedgehog from Sega flew into the room and sat on an empty chair.

"Well Metal, it's nice to have you here," began Soup.

"Same here," replied the robot hedgehog in a Sonic-style tone.

"This year, the tournament seems especially exciting, what do you think?"

"Searching for file: 'Response that will gain support from audience'. File found," Metal Sonic said in a cold robotic voice, but switched back to his Sonic-like one when he said, "Personally, Soup, I feel that this year, it will be especially exciting, and I can't wait to see what my opponents have in store for me. You see, I'm not actually fighting just to get the cash prize, I'm just fighting for fun. End file."

"So, do you have any strategies to win?"

"Yes, but if I told you, everyone else would hear and that wouldn't be a good strategy."

"Hahaha, when you're right, you're right."

"Scanners did not detect any signs of humor in my previous comments. R. Soup's laughter is illogical."

"Anyway, some people are concerned about how you transformed into that giant monster, Metal Madness, a few months ago. You wouldn't be planning on doing that here, would you? Another Giga Bowser incident wouldn't be good for publicity."

"After the incident, Lord Robotnik reprogrammed me so that I would follow his orders without question and I would not be able to even think of doing anything to harm him. Furthermore, my transformation was only done as a result of my body becoming compatible with Lord Robotnik's fleet, and it has long been destroyed, so there is no chance of transforming again," Metal said entirely in his robotic tone.

"That's great to hear. We'll be right back with Metal Sonic after this break."

The camera shut off and the lakitu hovered out of the room.

"Jeez, finally," Toad sighed as he opened one of the windows in the room, pulled a shotgun and a box of ducks, threw the ducks out of the window, and played a game of Duck Hunt.

"Wait, exactly how long is this commercial break?" The Game Master asked. "I just noticed that we didn't have any before."

"It's about 70 minutes, give or take," Soup answered. "After all, like you said, we went on for a couple of hours without any."

"Fellow robot Soup, could you meet me out in the hall?" asked Metal Sonic.

"Uh, sure," the tin can answered as he and the Sonic-bot did just that. Following this, Jon pulled out his Game Boy Advance and started playing one of his many games that were now kept in the Item Storage of the aforementioned system as opposed to his pockets.

"Ah crap," Toad said as he missed one of the ducks and it flew away. A dog that happened to be nearby stood on its hind legs and laughed at the mushroom. Toad pulled out his bazooka and blew it away. "Well, I'm bored. I'm gonna get some coffee."

As the politician opened the door and walked out, Jon couldn't help but hearing Soup and Metal Sonic's conversation.

"I don't know, join Metallix? I kind of like working with humans," Soup said as if he was trying to make a decision.

"Join us and we will finally show the humans who are the best" Metal Sonic replied, but he was cut off by the door closing.

"&Huh, that sounds pretty odd. Wait, a few weeks ago, Mega Man.EXE told me that there was a secret organization of robots against biological organisms planning to kill the King! Could Metallix be that organization? But why did they choose the name of one of the villains from Fleetway's Sonic the Comic in the UK&?" The Real Worlder thought as played his game without even looking at the screen. "&I better tell Game and Watch about this after the tournament's over, he probably won't like me bothering him right after a fight or something, and I don't know what hotel room he's in&." The gamer looked back at his screen. "&What? That's all there was to it? I beat that final boss without even looking! And people were calling this game good? Wait, that reminds me, I better check for any news&."

With that, Jon logged on to his world's Internet. "&More reviews of Nintendo DS games are in. It's a shame that I can't play them due to my GBA's lack of a second touch-screen, even if it can somehow play console games. And more PSP game screenshots. Funny, the fanboys keep on using Ridge Racers to show how advanced their system is. Wait, this is a message board me and my friends visited all the time, maybe I could somehow contact them by posting&?" To test this idea, the Game Master signed on to his account and did a test post by pointing out how stupid one of the posters was. "&...Weird, the server crashed when I tried to do that. Maybe I can't contact anyone&..."

Jon shrugged and continued looking for news and rumors. It wasn't like he wanted this dream to end any time soon, even if he was bored at the moment. At that point, he got an e-mail.

"&It's from Dr. Light. Oh, right, I had to meet him. With this seventy-minute-commercial-thing that should give me enough time&." After turning off his GBA, he walked out of the stadium, past the line of people that were staying overnight in order to get the best seats, and to the local Starbeans, across the street from the one Toad went to. Don't you love outdated, overused jokes?

I

I

Meanwhile, Bomb Man, Guts Man, Cut Man, Elec Man, Ice Man, and Fire Man were at the Starbeans on the opposite side of the street of the two Starbeans Jon and Toad were in. The bad joke continues.

"... I'm bored," complained Guts Man.

"... Yeah, me too," said Cut Man.

"Me too," said Elec Man.

"Me too," said Ice Man.

"Kill Wily," said Fire Man.

"**HEEEEEHEEEEEEHAHAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAA !**"Bomb Man said.

"oo Dude, you seriously need to lay off the caffeine!" said Elec Man. Bomb Man, instead, started throwing bombs at random places.

"Elec Man, you b-stard, you know you shouldn't talk to Bomb Man when he's high on caffeine, you insert long list of swears," Fire Man said in a very plain, emotionless voice.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Stop the arguing!" Guts Man said as he curled up and cried in a corner.

"You know, this group has really been going downhill ever since we made Bomb Man leader," pointed out Cut Man.

"Dude, you're right," Elec Man replied.

"... Shouldn't we be trying to stop Bomb Man now?" asked Ice Man.

"... Yeah, we should be," answered Elec Man.

"Well let's go!" said Cut Man as he pulled the Rolling Cutter off his head.

"No, it's okay. I'm out of my caffeine high now," Bomb Man said as he suddenly ceased his bombing of the cafe.

"You sure?" asked Ice Man.

"**HEEEEEHEEEEEEHAHA**Yeah."

"Is it over?" Guts Man said as he uncovered his head and came out of his corner.

"Say, didn't we decide to have a big fight to decide who would be the new leader last time Bomb Man went crazy like this?" asked Cut Man.

"Say, you're right! When are we having that, anyway? Bomb Man?" asked Ice Man.

"How about right now, in the Hand Stadium! I could kick all y'all asses!" exclaimed Bomb Man.

"Hand Stadium? I doubt they'd let us. Besides, Fire Man here will get pretty mad if we miss Metal Sonic's interview," Cut Man replied as Fire Man continued swearing. "Why don't we just vote for the leader, two at a time? I vote for Guts Man and Ice Man."

"Good idea," Ice Man commented. "Let's not vote for ourselves, though. I vote for... you and Elec Man."

"SWEET! Thanks for voting for me, dude!" exclaimed Elec Man.

"Actually, it's just because you, besides me and Cut Man, are the most _normal_ Original Sixers and you can beat the crap out of me, so don't take it too seriously."

"You suck, man. Anyway, I vote for... Cut Man and ... I guess no one else would be better, so Ice Man."

"I guess Cut Man and Ice Man," voted Guts Man.

"insert long list of swearsCut Man insert long list of swearsIce Man insert long list of swears," Fire Man voted.

"... Well screw you! If none of you will vote me, I guess I'll vote for... Guts Man and Fire Man!" said Bomb Man.

"Let's count the votes, dudes! Bomb Man has 0, Guts Man has 2, Cut Man has 4, I have 1, Ice Man has 4, and Fire Man has 1. Cut Man and Ice Man are tied, dudes! But why did I only get one vote, dudes ;;?" Elec Man said.

"Since Cut and Ice Man are tied, we must go back to our default leader, me!" yelled Bomb Man. "Now let's go to Mr. Saturn's Pizzaria!"

"Shut up, b-tch! I'm trying to watch the interview, b-tch! Why not a tiebreaker, b-tch? One that is silent, b-tch!" Fire Man yelled.

"Why don't you have your Robot Master cards fight?" proposed Guts Man. "It's a nice nonviolent way to decide our new leader!"

Cut and Ice Man nodded in agreement and pulled out their Patented Super Robot Master Game Cards!

"Let's see, Cut Man is a Cut Element; which is weak against Guts, Plasma, and other Cut Elements, and strong against Elec and Cut; with 140 HP, 15 DEF, 40 SPD, and 40 ACC. His uncharged Rolling Cutter is a Cut Attack that hits one row for 50 damage. His charged Rolling Cutter is a Cut Attack that hits all spaces except for the middle front row for 80 damage. He has a recovery rate of 40 HP and his Support Ability is of no importance here.

Ice Man is an Aqua Element; which is weak against Elec and Air, strong against Fire and Plasma; with 120 HP, 10 DEF, 40 SPD, and 55 ACC. His uncharged Ice Slasher is an Aqua Attack that goes along a column until it hits a card, doing 80 damage. His charged Ice Slasher is an Aqua Attack that goes along a column until it hits a card, doing 140 damage. He has a recovery rate of 20 HP and his Support Ability is of no importance here," Guts Man read.

"Dude, I think we made the game a little too complicated," commented Elec Man.

"Okay, let's make this short," said Guts Man. "Even if this isn't real, this card fighting still makes me feel bad. According to my calculations, if you fought just with uncharged attacks, here's how everything would go. Ice Man would receive 20 damage every turn while Cut Man would receive 25 damage. However, in the end, it would depend on who attacks first, since by the fifth turn, both cards will have 20 HP left. If you two fought with just charged attacks, Ice Man would receive 50 damage every two turns while Cut Man would receive 85 damage every two turns, making it so that Ice Man wins very easily. Thus, Ice Man is the leader!"

"YES!" yelled Ice Man.

"I guess that makes me second-in-command," commented Cut Man.

"But what rank do all of us have, commander dudes?" asked Elec Man.

The remaining four robot masters looked at each other. "BATTLE ROYAL **HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!**" they yelled as they ran into each other, ignoring any personalities I gave them in this section.

I

I

Jon walked into the Starbeans and found Dr. Light sitting at the table. "Ah, Game Master, could you follow me into the next room?" Thankfully, he didn't sound like Elmer Fudd as he did in Mega Man 8.

Jon walked into a dark employees-only room to find himself tackled and strapped to a metal table. The lights switched on, revealing that he was a laboratory and surrounded by many well-respected scientists.

"Sorry if this is uncomfortable, but we will be taking a sample of your brain tissue," explained Dr. Light.

"Wait, what!" Jon yelled.

"Don't worry, it won't hurt a bit. We'll just be inserting this Laser-Subspace Drill through your skull."

"Why!"

"We didn't get a chance to take Kevin Keene's brain tissue, but with this new type of surgical drill, we can finally see what the brain of a Real Worlder is like without taking too much time. Oh, that reminds me, this is Prof. Bird, this is Dr. Jonesno relation, I assumethis is Prof. Gadd, owner of Starbeans, and... wait, you already know everyone here, right?"

"Uh, right..."

"Okay then. This laser drill will go straight through your head without harming it in any way, and when it comes in contact with the brain, a device will come out of a subspace warp created by the very tip, take a sample of your brain, go back into subspace, and we'll remove the laser drill. However, the process takes around thirty minutes and requires much thought from the patient, so you have to stay awake and read a sheet in a few minutes."

"Why didn't you just say that you were going to perform surgery on my in any of the messages?"

"What can I say, the idea just came a few minutes ago, and we have to return this table in about an hour, so I couldn't waste time trying to convince you to do this. Anyway, you'll have to stay very still." With that, a machine created a drill of laser and slowly went into The Game Master's skull. Jon didn't exactly like this.

"All you have to do is read these scientific documents, you have to be thinking during the entire process," explained a midget with spirally glasses, Prof. E. Gadd. He held up the papers in front of Jon's face and explained that he would turn the pages for him.

As he stayed in Videoland, Jon found himself increasingly interested in how the Game-verse worked and he read the papers like they were... an extremely exciting... short story?

WARNING! EXTREMELY LARGE AMOUNT OF EXPOSITION AHEAD!

From what he understood, there in Videoland, each game series existed in a separate dimensionthis the Game Master already figured out. However, what he didn't know is that was that each area could be reached by going into the stars found in the Main Region. As very briefly mentioned in Chapter 1, the stars to be closer and were different colors. Blue stars represented a normal game world; red stars represented locked game worlds, which can't be entered or left, either due to an enemy locking it during an attack, or due to time problems, which were explained later; and purple stars represent game worlds that exist in multiple countries at the same time, such as being in Nintendo and Sony at the same time. Apparently, the early people of Videoland traveled through the zones by climbing very tall trees and jumping into them. It was also noted that each region is a pocket dimension and not exactly separate from the Main Regions of each game-country.

One thing that interested Jon was the problems with time. As previously explained by Toad, the Real World can directly affect the Game World, and one of the main ways was the creation of sequels/prequels that take place at a different time period as the previous game. When these games are put in stores, it causes that game series' region to literally teleport through time, and during the time travel, the region is locked, everyone that originated from there is suddenly sent back, and everyone from other regions is sent elsewhere, except in the cases of Easter Eggs. When it is unlocked, the region is now in the time the just-released game takes place in.

Just to get the order of things clear, first the region time travels, then the events in the game happen, still locked. It originally happens one way, but due to the time-warping effects of plotholes, it happens the way it happens in the Real World game.

Jon wondered what could happen if there was a prequel and someone explained to them the events of a game that takes place later, but he soon found the answer. All native Videolanders have two states of mind: the first is the normal one where they can talk with people from other regions without any trouble; the other is the "Game-mind" where everyone only knows what they are required to know for the game. This way, they won't know about the events that occur in a game later in the timeline, but they will immediately recall it once the region is unlocked.

"Any questions?" asked a mole simply named The Professor, who had taken over the paper holding job from Prof. Gadd when he discovered that he actually had better things to do.

"Yeah, it says here that each of the regions time travel to fit the most recent game, but that doesn't make any sense. The Link I met was the one from Ocarina of Time when the most recent Zelda game at the time was Four Swords," the Game Master revealed.

"You see, that's why Master Hand is so famous! He managed to build a device that would separate a game world in two, so that one region would stay in the same time period all the time while the other will be the one effected by all of the time travel. He used it on the Hyrule Region as a test, with their permission of course, and when it was effected by time warping, the region split in two, the Ocarina of Time and Four Swords, the latter one being effected by time warping while the former stays the same. Master Hand also did this with the Mario world, splitting the normal world and the adventures during the time he was a baby. After the second time he used it, though, it ended up overloading and exploded."

"Actually, in that case, it would be Ocarina of Time and either Link's Awakening DX or Oracle of Ages/Seasons, depending on whether remakes count in this time thing."

"They don't, and neither do collections. Any more questions? The brain tissue removal will still last a few more moments."

"No, not really."

Don't worry folks, that's the last piece of exposition for a while.

At that moment, a stray lightning bolt from a nearby Starbeans crashed into the outer wall of that Starbean's lab, causing the laser drill to pull out quicker than it was supposed to.

"What was that?" asked Dr. Jones.

"I don't know, let's go check!" suggested Prof. Bird.

"Wait, I have a hole in my head!" pointed out Jon.

"No, it's not really a hole, just a small wound. You can just heal it with a mushroom," advised Dr. Light as he and the other doctors ran outside.

Jon took a mushroom and walked back to the stadium.

I

I

The door to Wily's apartment rang, so Diskoe decided that it would probably be a good idea to open the door.

"Hello, could you we please see Albert?" asked Dr. Light, who was with the other good scientists.

The former Poké Man beeped and retrieved Wily.

"Ah, yes, Tom, what can I do for you?" inquired the mad scientist, who was wearing his bunny slippers.

"We caught these six brawling inside one of the Starbeans, destroying much of the property." Dr. Light stepped to the side, revealing the six robot masters, who had much of their circuitry showing, and several of the other scientists gripping them by the ears. "Professor Gadd, however, promises not to press charges if you do something for him."

Wily turned to the midget, who then explained his demands. "Well, you see, about a week ago, I was working on a new invention that would give any medication a nice, refreshing cherry flavor."

"That sounds useful," Wily admitted.

"And while I was working, I decided to play some light piano music, but I used the parts in my CD player to make a device that converted I-pods to 8-tracks, so I decided to play the piano myself, but you see, I don't play the piano very well. so I worked on a robot that could play the piano for me."

"Couldn't you just get another CD player?"

"Ah, yes, I could have, couldn't I? I guess my mind was too preoccupied to think of that."

"It happens to the best of us."

"Anyway, while I was working on the robot, I left the oven on too longI was cooking dinner, you seeand it caused a fire. As it turned out, the cherry-medicine mixture was highly explosive, so the entire building ended up going up in flamesI live in a building, you see."

"I never would have guessed that."

"So, anyway, the point of the story is, I need a place to live in until my house is rebuilt, but all of the apartments are taken."

"Yeah. 'There are TONS of vacant apartments nowadays, I'm sure you can find one,' my ass," Wily mocked Victor Von Killdeath.

"You told me at the warp port that you had a rather nice apartment, so give me the apartment or I will sue."

"Hmm... decisions, decisions..."

I

I

As Jon walked down the hallway, he bumped into everyone's favorite super fighting robot, Mega Man, though he was out of his armor. "Hey Jon, have you seen Blues anywhere?" he said, referring to Proto Man by his other name.

"Well, I saw him right before I got here, but I didn't see him afterwards."

"Oh, and Jon, by the way, I saw you go into one of the Starbeans, but you didn't come out for a while and you weren't in the main room, what happened?"

"Dr. Light and a bunch of other scientists were taking a sample of my brain tissue. During that, I was forced to read a bunch of stuff on how the game-verse worked and such, and coincidently Toad explained stuff about the Eye of the Fourth Wall and so on before I left."

"That's weird, I've never heard of this Eye of the Fourth Wall..."

"You haven't? Well, it's supposed to be this thing that" the Game Master was about to say, but he was tackled by Toad, who had a cup of French Roast coffee. He dragged the nerd into one of the closets as Rock the kid-robot watched.

"What are you doing!" asked Toad.

"I was just telling Rock about the Eye of the Fourth Wall."

"Well don't! I guess it's my fault for not telling you before, but DO NOT MENTION THE EYE OF THE FOURTH WALL TO ANYONE!"

"Why not?"

"You know that paper that people having brain surgery are forced to read?"

"Yeah."

"You do? Well, that's odd. Anyway, you read about stuff like Game-Minds and all non-region-specific characters being kicked out when a game event occurs, right?"

"Right."

"That's all a result of the EotFW! When the game is changed in your world, one of the most obvious changes is that all characters from different games are removed, and all references to them are removed. The region being locked is rarely ever a result of the enemy directly activating it: the lock is usually the developers keeping all characters from different games out. The only real recent instance where the enemy locked the region himself was when Wily attacked a few months ago."

"Well, okay, but what's wrong with telling everyone that?"

"Well, if everyone knows that, they are bound to find out one of the things I told you earlier."

"What did you tell me?"

"I used Bowser and Mario as examples," Toad hinted. He then peaked out of the closet door at Rock and said, "I am not raping him," and then turned back to Jon.

"Bowser and Mario... Oh, right, the thing about how the developers would just bring Mario back to life if Bowser killed him?"

"Yeah! That means that it's impossible for most mainstream heroes and villains to die! Don't you know what that would mean if everyone knew it! The heroes wouldn't even bother to try anymore because they know that the developers would just rewrite it so that they win, and with the knowledge that they can't die, the villains will become increasingly desperate with their plans, such as sending out all of their troops at once. However, for the developers to make any changes, they first have to be influenced by what actually happens. If they see the heroes just lying around doing nothing, they won't even bother and will stop working on the franchise, and all damage will be permanent!"

"Wow, I guess that is serious. But why did you know, and why did you tell me in front of Soup?"

"All plot mages and plotologists know this. Being able to handle the information is required for becoming one. I told you because you're the Game Master and it seems like an obvious thing for you to know. Soup's known for quite a while, but he can keep a secret."

"Uh, okay then... Could you let me go now? I'm used to being held against a cold metal surface, but there's hot coffee dripping on my face."

"As long as you agree not to tell anyone about the Eye of the Fourth Wall!" Toad yelled as a "YES" and a "NO" appeared about a foot above his head, but on the ground, Jon found no way to reach it, so he simply used his controller to pause time and escaped from the mushroom's grip. After quickly pressing "YES", he walked out of the closet and returned to the normal time-speed in front of the Commentator's Box.

I

I

There was knocking heard in Wily's hotel room. "Al, are you in there?" asked a crazy man who sounded like a stereotypical mad scientist and had nothing to do with eggs. After a while, the door opened and there stood Wily, still in his bunny slippers.

"Al, I heard that Prof. E. Gadd stole your apartment from you!" exclaimed Dr. Eggman Robotnik, who stood with all of the other mad scientists. "Do you want to ruin the good scientists' hotel rooms as revenge! All of them are out tonight, so they can look at some random person's brain tissue!"

"Sure, why not! Do you mind if I take Frost Man with me? He gets lonely by himself."

I

I

After the interview, the broadcast was done and the Game Master walked to his hotel, The Hand Hotel, which offered free rooms to anyone affiliated to the tournament, including the announcers to Jon's luck. As he entered the lobby, he noticed Proto Man whistling to himself as he leaned against the wall. "Hey, Proto Man, Rock was looking for you a while ago."

"Yeah, I already talked to him. I'm just waiting here to see if I can attract any girls."

"So you aren't just a Proto-Hobo that's standing there to make it seem like you have a room?"

"I have a place to sleep."

"Oh, okay then, good luck with that girl thing," Jon said as he went to his room and played on his GBA.

I

I

"Okay, the cost is clear," said the floating robotic head that was shaped somewhat like a light bulb, and most of the bad scientists staggered out from behind the wall. Frost Man, however, crashed right through the wall.

"CRUSH! I will crush door like a popsicle!" the behemoth ice robot spouted as he ran right into one of the good doctor's rooms without opening the door.

"Seriously, Al, kouldn't you get that Ninja Man of yours instead of... him! Even that robot that was made of wood would be better than him!" asked the crocodile scientist.

"Hey, Shadow Man and Wood Man don't get lonely, unlike Frost Man. Wood Man is a really great guy and I always have a great time with him, especially that one time when I was rescued from jail and I was stressed to make the other four robots, but he managed to calm me down!" Wily attempted to counter, but it instead forced all of the other scientists to take one big step away from him. "...Did I really say that out loud?"

"I hope you didn't," responded Dr. Robotnik, whose wide eyes stretched beyond his sunglasses's rim.

"At least that explains Hard Man," revealed Nintendo-Head. "... And Quick Man... and Needle Man, Gemini Man, Snake Man, Dust Man (look at his quote from Mega Man and Bass), Stone Man, Spring Man, Turbo Man, Grenade Man, Aqua Man, heck, that explains them all!"

"No it doesn't," re-countered Wily.

"Yes it does."

"No it doesn't."

"Yes it does."

"If it does, how can you explain Top Man?"

"I... I... can't ;;..."

"Kan we hurry up, the good scientists kould be koming back any time now!" the crocodile scientist pointed out.

"Right, me and Frost Man will handle Dr. Light's room, as he already seems to be in there. You can guys can handle what ever room you want."

Wily walked into the hotel room and started messing stuff up with the help of the Mega Man 8 robot master.

"Master Wily! Lookie at what I found!" Frost Man shouted in glee as he uneasily ran to the robot scientist.

"It's a picture of a little girl. It's probably some relative of his."

"Lookit," the icy android continued as he pulled out an entire box of such pictures from under the good doctor's bed.

"Unless reality was warped sometime between when we were lab partners and now, I'm pretty sure Tom doesn't have that many young female relatives..."

I

I

"...Hey, are you guys okay? You took quite a fall," said a voice.

"Huh, wha?" Eggplant Wizard and King Hippo said at the same time as they got back to the conscious realm.

"Do you want me to take you to the hospital?" asked another voice as two figures helped the idiots up.

"Hey!" Eggplant Wizard yelled as he swiped himself away from his helper. "I was just in the middle of this dream where everything was like a pig but a cow-spoon was in everyone's mind, and all of the sin-ibilistic vegetarians were ka-sploded by the face of Mike Myers and Bob the Builder combined and fused at three different times with various celebrity guest stars like Lord Endionex who was easily defeated by Mr. T and his truck, but his truck was actually spelled truch and the world ka-sploded so hard that even Bob Dole felt it, and as you know, Bob Dole can destroy a single galaxy with his Bob Dole Bomber Attack alone, so that's quite a feat, and"

"EG, look at who it is!" King Hippo interrupted.

The Eggplant Wizard the eggplant wizard actually decided to take note of what the figures looked like. "Wow! Is it possible!"

"Yup," said one of the voices as all six of the figures gathered together, most of whom looked like rip offs of the Blues Brothers. "We're the famous jazz and blues band The Runaway Five."

"Awesome! What are you guys doing here!" asked King Hippo.

"Since it seems like you're big fans, you should know that we got out of the music business a while ago," said one of the members.

"No matter how much we made, we always ended up owing money to the manager," continued another.

"So, we quit and became delivery men. Now, there must be someone in the Main Region that likes us, as we have to deliver this important item to some guys in Phantomile," said yet another.

"Now, it's going on a real kooky trip, traveling all around Nintendo. It's even making a few stops in Sony, if I remember correctly! After a few monthes of traveling around, it will eventually end up right where it started: Angel Land! It's supposed to be like this way to get the Space Pirates confused or somethin'."

"Wow, cool!" exclaimed Eggplant Wizard.

"Guys, should we really be telling these guys all of this?" asked the sixth member of the Runaway Five.

"Should we beDan! Don't you know who he is!"

"No, not really," admitted Dan.

"It's King Hippo! The man who almost beat Kid Mac! None of Mac's punches could get through his expert defense until he figured out that punching him in the mouth would leave his stomach open!"

"I had 400 coins on him during the match, and even though he lost, he still put up one heck of a fight!"

"Oh, yeah, and before I forget, we should take you to the hospital."

"No, we don't need to, but can we come with you when you make your delivery? We'll get off at your destination, because we don't have any of our own in mind," explained King Hippo.

"Sure, sure, you can come along. Just get on the bus."

"YAY!" King Hippo and Eggplant Wizard said at the same time, high fived each other, and jumped onto the bus.

I

I

Thus ends day 1. Next time:

Proto Man then looked at the note, threw it into the air, and fired a fully charged blast at it. "I knew this would happen one of these days."


	6. Paradoxic Smashfest Day 2 Morning

The symbol "&" will show the thoughts of characters.

"-I" will act as a section break.

"-" has replaced all astericks, as they do not show up here.

All new formats will be applied to the previous chapters after the redone version is finished.

Currently, both parts of Ch. 4 use this format.

Jon woke up that morning and went to the stadium. There wasn't much to say there. Inside the building, he went on the same path as before and ended up in the same location, the commentator's box. There, he sat with Toad and Soup Erman, as they watched all of the fighters walk onto the field. The preliminaries were starting soon, but no one gave a crap, so the only people watching were the Hands and the commentators. Similar to the Olympics, all of the competitors walked around the Smash Ring, holding the flag of their origin, but since no one was there, the announcers didn't bother to talk about Hyrule while the broadcast showed the fighters from Dreamland.

However, at that moment, the Hand Matter Envelope started up without warning. This most likely was not supposed to happen, since everyone stopped walking, looked at it, and ran away as it's reach extended to their area, but not even the quickest fighters were able to get away before the field engulfed them. After a few seconds, the machines shut down and everything was back to normal. However, all of the fighters were gone.

"...?" said Jon, Toad, and Soup at the same time.

**Now Loading…..  
Level 4: Paradoxic Smashfest  
Because Son of the Mask Sucks Ass...  
Day 2 Morning: Preliminaries and First Fights, Great Beginning to a Bad Day **

"I assure you, that was not supposed to happen," claimed Master Hand as he was confronted by the commentators.

"I'll believe you, since I can't think of a single way you could profit from kidnapping all of the fighters," Jon replied. "How did the envelope capture all of the fighters? And where could it have sent them?"

"The Hand Matter is stimulated by electrical impulses to turn into various shapes, so theoretically, with the right equipment, the people caught in the field could be transported into the computer program. The fighters may be inside of the hologram database, but exactly which program is uncertain," the giant hand explained.

"... Okay, I'll accept that explanation, but only because this is a video game world."

"However, I still haven't invented a device capable of doing that, and very few other people know how to manipulate the Hand Matter, so it is much more likely that the fighters were already kidnapped and them walking onto the field as just a prerecorded hologram. I'll go call the police about this, but you three can help security search for the fighters inside of here."

At that moment, one of the guards came into the room. "Sir, we found something on the cameras."

Master Hand turned to the commentators. "These men will go for me. I'll go get the police."

"Right, follow me," the guard said the announcers came with him to the security room. "The cameras show a red, metallic object moving up and down, but our visual range can't show all of it. We feel that it may be a robot related to the kidnapping."

"We'll go check it out," Jon said with a brief burst of bravery.

"I'll just stay here, I don't have any weapons," pointed out Soup the tin can robot.  
-I  
-I

"Here it is, ventilation room 3."

"You can go in first," said Toad.

The door was opened very slowly and Jon used his pause to sneak into the room undetected. Though it was hard to see, he found the faint outline of the hidden robot, and unpaused.

"Hey you! Uh, hands up!"

"Huh? What are you doing?" asked the robot as he turned on the light in the room, causing the Game Master to reel back from eye pain. Eventually, vision came back and the figure was identified.

"Proto Man? What are you doing here?"

"I was just sleep-mode-ing here for the night," he simply replied.

"Wait, so you are a Proto-Hobo, aren't you! You said you weren't last night!"

"I never said thatI said that I had a place to sleep, and in my mind this counts as a place to sleep. That hotel is way to expensive for a non-fighter, so I didn't bother. So anyway, I heard a lot of screaming outside, what was up with that?"

"All of the fighters were kidnapped and we're looking for them. The security guards saw part of you on the cameras and sent me to investigate."

"I'll be in there in a minute!" yelled Toad through the door.

"Was Rock kidnapped too?" asked the red robot.

"I'm pretty sure he was."

Suddenly, the mushroom man burst into the room, ignoring the robot and yelled, "Outside! Quick!"

Thus, the three ran to the Smash Ring and looked at the sky. While Toad ran around in circles screaming, everything outside of the stadium seemed to turn more and more green with every passing second.

"What's happening?" asked the nerd.

"There's a barrier forming around here. It's used to protect space bases from attacks, but as a result, it's impossible for anyone to get in or out. The only ways to get rid of it are to shut it down from the inside, or to have it bombed, which could result in the stadium being destroyed too, along with us, and we can't have that happen," explained the giant white glove, ending his statement with a twitch.

"Did you manage to get the police?"

"My brother was caught outside of the field, but I think he managed to get them."

"'My brother'? What do you mean?"

"I'm Crazy Hand, Master Hand's brother."

"You are? You don't seem that crazy to me."

"Oh, that's just when I fight and come up with ideas. Otherwise, I'm just a dumber version of my brother, with a twitch."

"...Are you sure?" Jon asked. Proto Man sighed and leaned against the wall whistling while Toad continued screaming.  
-I  
-I

"Boy, that brain examination was a lot of fun, huh?" said Prof. Bird.

"Yeah, we stayed up all night!" pointed out Dr. Jones.

The Good Scientists then opened the doors to their rooms.

"Uh, gentlemen, I believe that someone has wrecked our rooms," Prof. E. Gadd remarked. "And my new device is gone!"

"That new unidentified pokémon Ash brought is gone, too!" exclaimed Prof. Oak.  
-I  
-I

"Lord Crump! Please dispose of this piece of trash, and I hope you'll actually complete _this_ mission!" ordered the floating robotic head from the Bad Scientists.

"But sir, didn't you steal this for a reason?" asked a rather hairy midget in a red uniform with a white X.

"Yes, peer pressure! All of the other scientists took something last night, and I would be the odd one out if I didn't, so I took the only thing of value! Now please, take that thing out of my sights."

"But sir, couldn't we, err, you, use the pokémon in here for the good of the X-Naut army!"

"'For the good of the X-Naut army'? Lord Crump, Ash Ketchum captured this pokémon! How useful could it be! Again, get rid of it!"

"Right away sir!" As Lord Crump ran to the trash can, he realized, "&Wait, if I throw this away, then the pokéball's button may accidentally be pushed up against and the creature will be released. Besides, I could make some money by selling this on eBay! BUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHWait, why am I only thinking of laughing? -ahem- BUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUH!" Thus, he turned away from the trashcan and walked to his computer. However, he looked out the window of the hotel room and noticed something. In fact, pretty much everyone left in the building noticed it. "Is there supposed to be a barrier around Hand Stadium?"  
-I  
-I

"For the last time, I am Crazy Hand," the giant hand asserted.

Suddenly, a beep came from Jon's GBA. "Just a minute," the Game Master said as he pulled his gaming device out and found that he had an email. "That's weird, nobody knows my email except for the people in the castle, and this isn't one of them." He opened the message and it read:

_GME MAST3R IF U WANT 2 SE TEH COMP3TI2RS AGANE U MUST GO 2 TEH S3CR3T ANTRANC3 (ASK MASTAR HAND) 2 DA V3RY D3PTHS OF THIS AERNA!11! IF U DONT COMA TEHY WIL AL DEI!1!1111!1!11!11! OMG LOL BWAHAHA!1!1!1!11!111!2!1!11!11!1!1!11!11!111!11! OMG WTF_

_Signed, UkNN03N  
Dated Today at 10:37 AM_

"I never bothered to learn 12-year-old-AIMish, but maybe I should have," commented Proto Man.

"I'm sorry that I forgot to ask this, but what are you doing in here?" asked Crazy Hand.

"He was the only audience member, but he went to the restroom during the March of the Fighters and heard noises from the ventilation room," Jon lied. "Anyway, the message says:

_Game Master, if you want to see the competitors again, you must go to the secret entrance (ask Master Hand) to the very depths of this arena! If you don't come, they will all die! BWAHAHA!_

_Signed, UkNN03N  
Dated Today at 10:37 AM_

"The secret entrance? Though the letter says to ask Master Hand, I know where it is, too," revealed Crazy Hand. "I'll show you where it is, but I'll stay here to keep contact with the outside and to give you instructions. It would be a good idea for all three of you to go down there, because it's quite dangerous, so follow me."

Jon, Proto Man, and Toad followed the airborne hand, with the mushroom still continuing his screaming. After going into the hallway, they walked through a series of hallways until they reached an elevator, and used it to reach the highest point of the stadium, right above where the now-open sunroof was. Also on this area was a pink Bob-Omb standing next to two giant handprint-scanners.

"General Bobarang, activate the cannon!" ordered Crazy Hand. The general nodded, waddled over to a control panel hidden below the handprint scanners, pressed a button, and cannon popped out of the ground a few yards away.

"A cannon? This is the secret entrance?" asked Proto Man.

"Normally, me and my brother would have ourselves scanned at the same time to open a panel in the floor, but since he isn't here, you have to use the cannon to crash right through it. I implemented this myself."

"Ah, so that's why they call you Crazy Hand," noted Jon. "So, exactly how much will this hurt?"

"Quite a bit."

"Awesome! Let's go!" Toad exclaimed as he pulled a helmet out of nowhere and put it on. On the helmet, the words, "L is real 2041," were written.

"It would probably be better for us all if I went first," stated Proto Man.

"Wait, Crazy Hand?" asked Jon.

"Yes?" the white-gloved hand answered with a question.

"Do you think you could use your bomb attack to weaken the secret entrance?"

"I suppose I could," he acknowledged as he hovered over the entrance site and sprinkled bombs all over it. After about a minute, Proto Man jumped into the cannon, and he jetted downward at an incredible speed. If he didn't have his trusty shield up and if Crazy Hand didn't weaken the ground, the impact would have probably broken quite a few of his sunglasses, but since he did have his shield up, his 20 pairs of Racer X Sunglasses were unharmed. And his scarf, too.

"Ah, good, the entrance is revealed. You can just walk back down and jump in if you like, now," revealed Crazy Hand.

"Wait, can't we just ride you down? You can fly, after all... In fact, we could have just ridden you up here! Also, why is there an elevator leading up here? If you wanted to keep people away from here, you could do that by making flying up here to only option," pointed out Jon.

"... I guess I forgot. As for the elevator, General Bobarang has to get up here somehow." The Bob-Omb jumped up at the mention of his name, but went back to sleep after a few seconds. The white glove lay flat on the ground and motioned for everyone to get on. The Game Master did, unsurely gripping one of the fingers, but Toad the toad stood away.

"No way! I don't want to look like a kafookalooka," he simply said as he walked out of everyone's visual range. Next thing they knew, Toad was on the ground floor and strutted down stairs revealed by Proto Man's hole. The mushroom man chuckled at the mention of this.

LATER...

"I will have to keep in contact with everyone outside, so I can't come with you," Crazy Hand explained. "You can keep in contact with me, however, by sending me an e-mail on that GBA. I'll try to respond as quick as possible." With that, the giant glove hovered away from the trio and fly out of the hole.

The area they were in was well lit and there didn't seem to be any dust around. Past the stairs leading down there was a long hall with white stone walls, marble tiles, and a metallic ceiling with steel support beams. At the end of the hallway, there was a large room, around the size of the Smash Ring itself, which the three, unwillingly in some cases, ran to. On the other side of the room was a large gray door, but it wouldn't open.

"I guess we'll have to blast through," Toad said as he pulled out his bazooka. He fired a shot at the entrance, but to no avail.

"It looks like we'll have to ask Crazy Hand about this," the Game Master thought out loud as he pulled out his GBA.

"I don't think we need toothere's a jack-in port right over there, and it seems obvious that it would unlock the door," Proto Man pointed out.

"Hmm... I guess you're right. After all, why would a Game Master have to use a hint system to get through a game?" Jon decided. "Do we all have net navis?"

"I technically don't, but I could download my consciousness into the machine."

"I do, and it's modeled after me," the mushroom man revealed. "Awesome, huherr, but unfortunately, it's, uhh... broken right now, yeah..."

The Game Master found Toad's lie obvious, but he continued unhindered. "Okay, then let's" he was about to say, but was interrupted by Proto Man downloading himself into the network. Sighing, Jon did the same.  
-I  
-I

**INTERNET: HAND STADIUM STAGE NETWORK MAIN DATABASE**

After the typical uploading sequence, both Jon and Proto Man found themselves in an area identical to the room they were in previously, but the hall leading back to the entrance, and all of the walls, were gone. They were replaced by white empty space and a large series of links, represented by stylish arrows printed on the ground.

"So where do we go now?" asked the nerd.

"Why would I know?" Proto Man responded.

They both stood still for a while, but Jon finally broke the silence. "Maybe there are multiple locks, and there's one at the end of each link?"

"If that was true, this would take longer than I thought. That being said, we shouldn't waste any time here. The link over there looks as good as any."

The robot dashed to a shortcut on their left, followed by Jon, and after a brief flash of light, they found themselves in a new area with a rather large laser cannon aimed right at their position. Sighing, Proto Man put up his shield, protecting the nerd and himself, as the blast fired. The attack should have deleted them, regardless of the Proto Shield, but a message popped up.

"What? An e-mail?" Jon noticed as the pop-up took the full force of the blast, pushing it, and the two fighters as a result, back to the main database.

"That was a strange coincidence," the Red Bomber noted. The e-mail read.

_I am sorry that I forgot to mention this earlier, but when you reach the end of the path, there will be a jack-in port. Inside, you will find the database of every solid-light hologram used in the stadium, but do not go into any of the links. Every one leads to a virus-deleting program, in case someone was to sabotage the tournament and managed to find the secret entrance. To find the true entrance, used the attached program._

_Signed, Crazy Hand  
Dated Today at 10:49 AM  
Attachments: scanenter.exe (scan for viruses?)_

Jon turned to Proto Man and asked, "Aren't you going to say something like, 'I thought you said a Game Master didn't need to use a hint system,' ?"

"If I did, you would probably try to make a smart response about how sometimes you need to talk to a character to move the plot or something, but it would only make you look like a jackass. Despite some of the things I do, I'm not really into making people look stupid."

Following about a minute of downloading, a rectangular device with a button on top popped into Jon's hands. After doing the obvious action, all of the links disappeared and a platform appeared above the duo's heads. The two jumped on top of it and ran through a link there, leading to another area with many links, though they all had labels now.

Another e-mail came up:

_I once again forgot to mention this earlier. The lock for the door where you arein the real worldcan be found at the end of the of the Dreamland Adventure sequence. Be careful, for this tournament my brother and me have updated all of the hazards, and they will be quite real there._

_Signed, Crazy Hand  
Dated Today at 10:51 AM_

"You know, it's weird," pointed out the robot.

"What?" Jon replied out of curiosity.

"If whoever is holding the fighters hostage wants to kill us, why hasn't he attacked our bodies, or have something other than the normal security attack us here?"

"I assumed that it was the typical first-levels-are-easier-later-ones-are-hard thing, but if you want a normal explanation, maybe he doesn't know that we're here."

"I suppose that may be. We haven't exactly gone that far, and there hasn't been anything to suggest that he's been spying on us. Either way, we better hurry up."

"Yeah, if the enemy doesn't kill us, Toad probably will out of boredom."

They ran to the Dreamland Adventure link and found themselves in what seemed to be an exact replica of the Vegetable Valley from Kirby Adventure/Nightmare in Dreamland.

**"Vegetable Valley Room 1 Theme from the aforementioned games"**

"You know, this is the second time I've been in a forest level in Dreamland," Jon explained, only to find that his partner was already well ahead of him and blasting away some Bronto Burts and that were flying at him, but his progress was forced to a halt when he came to the raised platform that you had to fly over in the game.

The red bomber turned to the side and seemed to be walking in place. Then he ran in place, and finally he dashed in place. While he was slightly ticked off, he stood still thinking for a minute, and as a final test, fire a plasma blast to his side, only for it to disappear. Suddenly, Jon appeared behind him. "What are you doing? Couldn't you wait for me?"

"Is it my fault that you have a slow reaction time?" the robot replied, which got the Game Master rather angry, as his entire videogame life was centered around having a fast reaction time.

However, his years as a geek showed him that it's not exactly a good idea to fight someone who could clearly beat him up at close combat, so he concealed his anger enough to let out, "So, why haven't you walked past this platform?"

"Oh, right, I tried to, but for some reason I can't. This world must have only been programmed so that we go that way or back, but there's another way to get past here without multiple jumps," he said as he stepped back and fired a fully charged Proto Buster attack into the dirt mound, causing it to fall apart and crash into the ground. As they continued on, Proto Man tried to destroy the enemies only to find that the Game Master was already shooting them at before they even appeared.

Eventually, they both reached the door at the end, which would lead to the next room, but it didn't lead were he expected.

**End "Vegetable Valley Room 1 Theme"**

"Is there supposed to be an ice area right after a forest? I may not be a Game Master, but this doesn't look right," the crimson whistler commented.

**"Theme from the first room in World 7-4 in Kirby: Nightmare in Dreamland/Adventure"**

Jon replied, "This must have been a way for the Hands to get a bunch of Dreamland areas together in the Adventure mode."

"Well, I hope you aren't cold, because I'm going ahead with or without you," stated the robot as he dashed forward while whistling, but Jon quickly grabbed his scarf.

"Wait, why do you want to get this over with so quickly?"

"Because we need to save all of the fighters."

"Including"

"Yes, including my brother Rock. Do we have to make a cheesy moment out of this?"

**End "World 7-4 from Kirby's Adventure"**

**"Cheesy Touching Moment From a Sitcom Music"**

"Blues, it's okay that you feel guilty for not being able to save Rock. No one can protect everyone all the time! Now come on and give me a great big hug!"

"No, whoever's doing that stop right now!" yelled the robot into the sky.

**Jeez, fine. People these days don't appreciate a classic touching moment. End "Cheesy Sitcom Music"**

"... I was kidding about the hug thing, by the way."

"I sincerely hope you were."

NOTE: It will be explained in the re-written Ch. 1 that the characters can hear the music.  
-I  
-I

Meanwhile, on the road to the Main Region Warp Port, the Runaway Five Tour Bus drove.

"Hey Dan, why don't you turn on the radio! It's getting pretty boring back here, and Eggplant Wizard's games aren't helping much!" yelled one of the band members.

"Hey! Can't you see I'm trying to perform a delicate operation!" yelled the talking eggplant from the back seat.

"What are you doing back there anyway!" asked another band member.

"Well, Bill, I'm trying to insert this 12-foot eggplant into King Hippo's mouth without cutting it up," he explained, "I'm injecting all of the liquids inside it into Hippy and I'll have him eat it when it has shrunken down to an eatable size11 feet! Jawsome omega, huh!"

"Yeah, sure, jawsome omegaOh, hey, Dan! Could you turn it up! Yeah, that's good!"

_"-Bzzt- This just in. Today -bzztactly 10:30 AM -bzzt- all of the fighters participating in the fabled Super Smash Bros. Tournament have suddenly disappeared as -bzzt- activated without warning, engulfed every participant and transferring them to some unknown location. Only a few minutes afterward, a barrier appeared around the Hand Stadium, sealing in everyone left and keeping everyone else out._

_Among the people still in the stadium are Crazy Hand, Game Master Jon Jones, Senator Toad Toad, Blues Light AKA Proto Man, and security guards Todd Andrews, Kimberly Chentar, -bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzt-"_

Dan then started hitting the radio. "Stupid thing!"

_"-bzztbzzZZZZZzzztBob Vomfu. Master Hand has this to say._

_'I assure everyone that none of this is intentional. Though contact with my brother inside of the barrier, we have confirmed that all of this is the work of a mysterious kidnapper, whose only request was for the Game Master to go into the depths of the stadium. Currently, Mr. Jones, Toad, and Proto Man and trying to stop him and are making good progress from what I understand. I expect that everyone will be safe by the end of the day.'_

_We will have more on this story as it develops."_

"Hey Bill, did you hear that?" asked Dan from the driver's seat.

Bill answered, "Yeah, it's a good thing we decided not to go to the preliminaries like we planned to before we got this delivery."

"Do you think you could change it to a music channel!" yelled Eggplant Wizard.

"Sure," Dan replied as he changed the radio to a jazz station.

"How about something else?"

Dan was turning the dial and passed by a station with loud rock music.

"Keepitthere! Keepitthere!"

Dan turned the dial back.

Just imagine that all of the babbling is Japanese.

_Ghklaeyueuigke ONE WING-ED FRIGHT! Kneihigoallfhgey NO SREEP TO-NIGHT!_

"...What is this!" asked one of the unnamed band members.

"This is J-Rock, Manny! It ROXXX!" yelled Eggplant Wizard as he made... that sign. I'm not cool enough to know the name, but you make it when you listen to Metallica and stuff. You clench your middle and ring fingers while keeping your pointer and pinky up. Anyway, he was making that sign.

"RYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAH!" said King Hippo as he sat up, despite having an unnatural amount of needles inserted into him, and started banging his head. EP soon joined him.

"...You guys _do_ realize that we're a jazz and blues band, right?" asked another unnamed member.

_Ukknegkhaeylahamin JELSEY IS HELL! Nlkghoindglhjeghd I HAD TACO BELL!_

"Wait, why is a Japanese singer singing about New Jersey?" asked Manny.

"And Taco Bell?" added Dan.

"I don't know, but it still ROXXXX!" exclaimed the wizard.

"You already made that point," noted Bill.

"No, before I said it ROXXX. Now it ROXXXX!"

_Lhgnelkgybnlagheds I BREW UP THE WORLD! Penrkekhgknekhtbnelae I ED UP A GIRL'D! _

"Okay, this is becoming too silly for me, I'm turning this thing off," spoke Dan as he did what he said.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" the two idiots exclaimed.

"It doesn't matter anyway, we're already at the warp port," the driver noted.

"Oh, really? Then let's GO!" King Hippo yelled and he and Eggplant tried to jump out of the windows with little success.  
-I  
-I

"Well, at least we're finally out of that ice level," noted Proto Man as he across the lake that they were supposed to cross. "I can see the lock program on the other side, but it's too far out of range for my blasternot to mention that the 2-D thing won't let me hit it, because it's past where the path curves. It looks like we have to go into the water."

"Actually, I don't think we have to," Jon said as he pressed START on his controller, and after a few seconds, he seemed to teleport a few feet away. "Well, I managed to get across by walking on the water, but I couldn't find a way to get you over there. However, I managed to think of another way!" He slid one of his E-cards through his controller and dropped it into the water. The controller turned into a piano, which casually floated on the blue waters. "We shouldn't have much trouble with staying on in this Popstar-based world," the Game Master explained as he hopped on and, like he predicted, the piano didn't tip over at all.

"I have to admit, that's pretty clever," the robot complimented as he too jumped on the piano. He turned green and what seemed to be a propeller came out of his gun-arm, speeding the instrument across the lake.

Eventually, the two reached the other side of the lake, and as the piano drove onto the shore, the Game Master pressed a button below it and it transformed back into a controller. "There's a fighting platform right over there on the path, where I assume we will have to fight some bots," Jon said. "Of course, by assume, I mean that I ran into an invisible wall and a message told me to defeat all of the Kirbies to move on."

"Bots?" Proto Man asked.

Sighing, he answered, "Bots are computer-controlled opponents, usually in multiplayer modes."

They ran up a wooden ramp with the nearby ocean shining orange from the sunset, and found themselves on a dock made of planks. On cue, a three Kirbies jumped down from somewhere off screen, each wearing a different hatone wore Mario's cap, one with Fox McCloud's ears, and the other with Samus Aran's helmet.

**Battle... BEGIN!  
**  
**"Gourmet Race Theme From Kirby Superstar"**

Jon fired a B-Blast at the Fox Kirby, but it quickly put up a barrier similar to Jon's and the attack was reflected back toward him, and the surprised Game Master was hit by the full force of the blast, but was miraculously unharmed, only knocked a few feet away. Proto Man dashed toward the Mario Kirby and punched him a few times, knocking him away, but after going a certain distance, the robot fired a fully charged Proto Buster shot at the pink thing while it was still in the air. The force sent it even farther and it exploded after going a certain distance.

"Oh, right this is like the SSB games where you can only be killed by getting knocked off of the screens, but exactly what difficulty level are these enemies being set at? They can power shield, butwait, power shielding!" Jon exclaimed as he seemed to realize something. Samus Kirby, at this point, fired a Charge Shot at the Game Master, but by putting up his barrier at just the right time, the attack was reflected back towards the shooter, sending the Kirby flying off of the screen. In reaction to the two deaths, a couple of more Kirbies jumped down, these copying Princess Zelda and Donkey Kong. "Proto Man! There are only supposed to be four fighters here, but there are five, so maybe the system is ignoring you, which means that you can go over to the lock without fighting these guys!"

"Maybe I should stay and you go," the robot replied as broke Fox Kirby's barrier by rapid-firing it, and used his shield as a bat, knocking him away. "I seem to be having an easier time."

"No, you can go. You got here right after me, so while the program making this would let me leave, it may let you."

"...Okay, fine. That doesn't make much sense but I'll try it anyway." The crimson android dashed past his opponents and straight through the invisible wall.

At this point a Ness Kirby hopped down to replace Fox and the Zelda Kirby turned into a fireball hurtling toward the Game Master, but he managed to quickly jump over it and sniped a few A-Shots at it. However, the Ness Kirby fly up behind him and smashed Jon into the ground using his hammer, but he still didn't seem to feel any pain from it. At this point, he noticed a percentage gauge over his head, similar to in the Super Smash Bros. games, and the higher the percentage was, the easier it would be for him to be knocked off the stage. Also standing above him was the Donkey Kong Kirby, who was powering up his Giant Punch, but the Game Master managed to put up his barrier in time to withstand the attack.

Despite the Kirby's short arms, the punch slammed into the barrier with great force, leaving only a thin layer and knocking Jon a few feet away, right into the path of Zelda Kirby's stone attack. The nerd noticed the pink puffball transforming into a purple stone above him and tried to run out of the way, but he unfortunately still had his protective barrier around him, usually rendering him unable to move, but this time, he suddenly found himself behind the DK Kirby facing towards him. "&Wait, what just happened. I guess I must have rolled (an evasive maneuver where you roll behind or away from something in SSB Melee). I'll figure out how later," he thought as the Kirby turned around in reaction and the nerd tried to sink his nerdy fists into the puffball to little effecthowever, if Princess Peach could hurt highly skilled fighters with her slap, then a geek could do some damage, and the punches prevented to gorilla Kirby from fighting back. He quickly ended his weak combo with a B-Blast, sending it flying off screen.

To replace DK, a Pikachu Kirby appeared, but ignoring it, Jon decided to try out another Smash Brothers move and grabbed the stone Zelda Kirby, returning it to its normal form, but the Game Master was forced to drop him when Ness Kirby started rapidly punching him like he was Seiya, Ranma, or... any other anime character that has a rapid-punch attack. Eventually, the punches knocked Jon far back enough to avoid them, but unfortunately, he was also knocked right into the range of Zelda Kirby's Nayru's Love attack, which surrounded it in a field of magic energy and batted the Game Master into the air, past Ness and back onto the ground. As the Pikachu Kirby, which just stood there until now, shot a Thunder Jolt attack which hopped across the ground toward his opponent, the Game Master leaped into the air to avoid it. Ness Kirby used one of his copied character's psychic attacks, PK Flash, to send a burst of green energy toward the airborne fighter, but utilizing more SSB powers, he used the double jump to get out of the attacks way and air-dodged backwards to avoid Zelda Kirby's Final Cutter attack, which had the fusion of male and female jumping high into the air spinning with a sword and crashing into the ground, sending a wave of energy across the floor. After making sure that he landed on the wood ground after the shockwave was gone, Jon Jones quickly fired a B-Blast right into Ness Kirby's mouth, sending him flying off screen.

Before the Pikachu Kirby could attack, Jon ran to it, hitting him with his gun and shooting the A-Beam at the same time for an added effect, but as opposed to the geek punches he did earlier, this attack sent the Kirby flying away as a burst of light emitted from it. "&What the heck was that&?" he thought as a Young Link Kirby appeared to replace Ness Kirby. While the attack did good damage, it didn't quite kill the puffball and he jumped back up after landing on his back. "&Wait, I get it! I can block, dodge, etc., so why shouldn't I be able to smash&?"

Smashing refers to special attacks in SSB that can be used to knock an opponent far away and do quite a bit of damage. They can be done by smashing the control stick either left/right, up, or down and pressing A at the same time. In Jon's case, his forward smash attack is a burst of light from his gun that sends his opponent flying.

"&Hmm, if I can smash and air-dodge, maybe I can&..."

The Game Master made a short hop, but before he visibly left the ground, he air-dodged diagonally into the ground, quickly sending him towards Zelda Kirby despite apparently standing still. This was the wavedash, a technique commonly used by skilled SSB players. It sends you toward forward quickly, and since it seems like you're still standing still, you can attack, dodge, or even grab opponents. For this instance, the nerd tried the same motion he used to smash earlier, but he held the pose he had right before attacking, making him glow yellow. He was powering up his smash. As soon as he got in range of the Zelda Kirby, he unleashed the attack, sending his opponent flying off screen.

In reaction to the death, an Ice Climber Kirby jumped down, leaving Jon to face Pikachu, Young Link, and Ice Climber Kirby, with several more waiting to appear. However, he now knew how to take care of this.

If you didn't get all that, here are Jon's new abilities:  
Power ShieldBy timing it correctly, Jon can reflect an attack with his shield.

DodgeBy attempting the run while his shield is still up, Jon can quickly roll.

GrabJon can grab things. Not very useful.

DoublejumpJon can jump a second time while in the air.

Air DodgeSame as dodge, except it's in the air, he can move in all directions, and he moves a shorter distance.

SmashJon finally has a decent short-range attack. He can send people flying with an energy burst from his gun, which he can power up, but he can only do it forwards, upwards, and downwards. The downwards smash is slightly different, but I'll address that as it comes up.

WavedashA technique used by skilled Smash players. Jon makes a short hop, but before he visibly leaves the ground, he air dodges diagonally into the ground, sending him dashing across the ground while appearing to stand still. This allows him the block, dodge, attack, etc. while moving, and he also moves much quicker than usual.

**End "Gourmet Race Theme"**  
-I  
-I

"Professor Gadd, please hand me the hilariously large wrench," ordered Master Hand. He and the other good scientists seemed to be working on something, and they turned one of the hospital rooms into a makeshift laboratory in order to do so. A group of people watched this from the hall, looking in through the window.

"Wow, look at them go," commented the crocodile affiliated with the bad scientists.

"They've been working on a way to take down the barrier around Hand Stadium without killing anyone ever since they first got the news," explained Nintendo Head.

Okay, I think I've gone far enough without explaining who these guys are. The crocodile is Prof. K. Roolenstein from Donkey Kong Country 3, Nintendo Head is Dr. Neo Cortex from the Crash Bandicoot games, the floating robotic head ordering around Lord Crump was Grodus from Paper Mario 2, and the guy that turned into a chicken-man was Dr. Tongue from Zombies Ate My Neighbors. Anyway, back to the plot.

While everyone stared at his rivals, Dr. Robotnik momentarily turned around to look out the other window. "It sure is quite outside. While there isn't anyone running around screaming, whoever's behind all this is practically setting them up for one. Everything is a lot more tense, so if I, say, blow up a building, everyone would run and scream twice as hard as if I just blew up a building last month."

"... I'm not really following you. So, because the tournament has been delayed, everyone's staying in their homes, and they would react more to a bomb now than any other time?" asked Prof. K. Roolenstein, K. Rool's cousin.

"Yeah, pretty much. It goes to show you how much society has degenerated when everyone is staying in their homes over a tournament being cancelled."

"And theirs that matter of around 20 people being sealed in, with even more missing," added Dr. Neo Cortex.

"Yeah, that too."

"Either way, whoever's causing this, I sure am proud of him," admitted Cortex. The other scientists agreed. "... Or her, it could very well be a girl. Really, even us mad scientists have to support equal opportunity."

"Speak for yourself," said Wily.

"You know, there just aren't enough mad scientist women," stated Roolenstein. Every scientist there agreed, even the good scientists behind the glass door.

Eggman complained, "Really, the only girls I've even seen recently in real life were M-Earth's president's secretary, Sonic's annoying girlfriend, a secret agent bat-whore, and a young rabbit with a chao slave."

"A rabbit with a chao slave? I never heard about that, but it sounds interesting," replied Dr. Albert Wily.

"You must not have been here when I told it. Anyway, there's this little girl rabbit that goes traveling around with Sonic and his friends, and despite being, what, six years old, she can still run really fast, and she can use her chao to destroy my robots. I repeat, A CHAO CAN DESTROY MY BADNIKS!"

"Wow, that must really suck," admitted Cortex. "Does the chao still destroy your robots after that upgrade you gave them recently?"

"No, now all that chao does is stun them, but it's still rather embarrassing."

Cortex began talking again. "If you think _that's_ embarrassing, I recently found out that even with my brain removed, I was still smarter than that stupid bandicoot, Crash, yet he still manages to beat me!"

"Did you use that Mechabandicoot robot that you and N. Gin made?" asked Eggman.

"Yeah, I did. I guess I don't have the same luck with robot clones as you do," admitted Neo.

"Speaking of Nitro Gin, where is he anyway?" asked Wily.

"Security at the warp port wouldn't let him in. Really, just because he _happens_ to have a weapon of mass destruction imbedded into his skull and he _happens_ to be a bit over the edge doesn't mean he'll cause any trouble!"

"Anyway, back on the subject of mad scientist women," said K. Roolenstein, "what were you trying to say before, Ivo?"

Robotnik turned to him. "Oh, right. The point I was trying to make is that I haven't had any real experience with women since college, and even then, that was only because they were forced to sit next to me."

"Same here," admitted Wily. All of the other mad scientists agreed.

Afterwards, they just stood there, not sure what to do. Suddenly, the silent-until-now Dr. Tongue said, "You know, I once used one of my potions to wreck havoc in the suburbs as a tentacle monster and did a bunch of stuff that's H... it was great."

"Is that so?" Dr. Cortex said as he wrote down notes.

"That reminds me," mentioned Roolenstein, "has anyone seen Grodus anywhere?"

"How did you get Grodus from something H?" asked Eggman.

"Actually, now that I think about it, where is that floating robot head anyway?" Dr. Wily piped in.

"Last I heard, he went back to his old moon base and sent Lord Crump on a mission to find the Ultimate Position or something," explained N. Cortex.

"Ultimate Position?" asked Dr. Tongue. "Is that something H too?"

"No, it's an army formation or something. If you put an army in a certain position, they're power greatly increases or something. It's an old legend, but some of his X-Nauts found proof that it's real, and being the guy he is, Grodus just left without telling us," Cortex continued.

"Wait, so how did you know?" asked Robotnik.

"I was hacking into his computer in order to get that great pop-up blocker of his and I found this information in his notes."

"That so?" commented Wily. Once again, the hall was silent, ignoring the sounds of industry inside the hospital room.  
-I  
-I

Proto Man ran along the beach, but he was in no hurry, as shown by his calm whistling. From what he could still see from that distance, Jon seemed to be handling himself quite well for someone who should have very little close-combat experience, and despite having a rocky start, he seemed to be having a relatively easy time with the Kirbies now. "&Maybe I underestimated him a bit&," he thought. However, this was not the only reason he didn't rushsince the multiple Kirbies have yet to be defeated, none of the enemies past that area have been created yet.

After just a few more minutes, he reached the lock. It was right past a set of three platforms connected by orange blocks with stars imprinted on their sides, where the outer platforms where only half as long as the middle, which had Whispy Woods, a living tree, blowing gusts of winds and dropping apples from its branches.

"&Oh right, I remember this place from the broadcasts of the previous tournaments. In the Adventures, you would encounter the Giant Kirby here, but with Jon still on the last fight, he shouldn't appear&."

The robot hopped across the platforms until he got to the last one. The lock was dark green with glowing light green lines along its surface, and it was a tall crystal, around twice as tall as Blues. It floated a few inches above the ground with a golden ring outside of it floated at the crystal's middle section around 1 foot away at all points.

Proto Man shot a fully charged blast at the lock and it blew away a chunk of the program. He repeated this action a few more times until the lock was finally deleted. At this point, he was about to log out, but he remembered, "&Oh, right, I have to tell the Game Master. I'll just e-mail him... Oh, that's right, I still don't know his e-mail address, but I think I can send it to his location. According to my scanners... Jon's around section 1001.38454.28842 of the Hand Stadium Mainframe. E-mail sent&."  
-I  
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Meanwhile, back at the dock, Jon was only down to three Kirbies: King Game and Watch, Yoshi, and Roy. He rolled out of the way of one of G&W Kirby's burnt sausage attack, and quickly jumped over a tongue attack from Yoshi Kirby, only to smack right into Proto Man's e-mail. He didn't even have time to think "WTF" before Roy Kirby multi-punched him (for further reference, this is the Vulcan Punch). However, as soon as the attack knocked him back far enough, he wavedashed backwards, giving him enough time to see what threw off his groove. "&An e-mail&?"

_I destroyed the lock, we can go now._

_Signed, Proto Man  
Dated 11:07 AM_

Jon pulled out his GBA and pressed START on it, only for a message to pop up.

**ERROR: No PET connected. Please have your operator reconnect for the proper logging out sequence.**

"&...WTF IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN&!"

Looking at the screen of his game system, there was only static as opposed to the top-down view of himself. He tried again, to get the same message. After quickly getting some distance between him and the remaining Kirbies, Jon typed up an e-mail to Toad.

_TOAD WTF R UOU DOING RECONECT US NOW!_

_Signed Jon  
Dated 11:08 AM_

After waiting a bit, avoiding the other fighters along the way, he tried to disconnect again, this time successfully.  
-I  
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After a flash of light, Jon found himself lying on his stomach with his arms in a rather uncomfortable position. By the time he managed to get up, Proto Man had, too, come back to his body.

They found themselves in a completely different rooma circular one made of brown stone, or at least something that looked like it, around as large as the previous room, but the ceiling was much higher and the hallway back to the surface was gone. There was instead another hallway leading further down into the complex, in front of which Toad ran in circles screaming.

"What's going on? I'm pretty sure this wasn't the room we were in before," Proto Man remarked.

Toad started to slow down his running and his screams lowered in volume until they were entirely gone. After a few more seconds of panting, he answered, "Right before you sent the e-mail, Jon, we were attacked by a bunch of guys shaped like stars. I didn't get a good look at them but they seemed gray. Anyway, they were hurling all of these flames and stuff, so I pulled you away from the terminals, shoved you into my kart racer, and drove around avoiding the attacks. Your e-mail saved me from a lightning attack, by the way, even though I could have handled it. At this point, I noticed two things: the monsters came from behind that one sealed dooryou know, the one I couldn't open without accidentally destroying the world with my cosmic powerswhich was now open, and there was a teleporter in the middle of the room we were in. So, I had two choices before the things killed us, 1. Go through the door where there are probably more of those things, or 2. Go through the teleporter. So, I went through the door, only to find that I was right and there were more of those things, so I turned around and drove into the teleporter. It sent us here, but I quickly blew up the teleporter so they wouldn't follow us." Following this, he started gasping for air, realizing that he said all of that without breathing.

"Gray stars that shoot fire and lightning? We weren't fighting Starro possessing Dr. Fate, were we? Purple can look kind of like gray if you don't pay attention," the Game Master asked.

"Considering that this is VIDEOLAND, not... whatever-those-guys-are-from-land, I'm pretty sure that it wasn't Dr. Fate," Toad remarked.

"Hmm, when thinking of videogame characters like that, nothing really comes to mind. It could have been security robots, some random scientist's creations, Starmen from Earthbound, or a number of enemies from obscure games that no one heard of besides me. I'll e-mail Crazy Hand about this." Thus, Jon e-mailed Crazy Hand. After about a minute, a new message appeared in front of him, but it seemed to either flash or go staticy every other second.

_Game Master, I got your e-mail, though it was rather fuzzy. You're currently on the path to the mainframe computer, but with this lockdown, you'll have to destroy more lockstwo to be more exact. They're in the Mushroom Kingdom simulation and the Pokémon Stadium._

_Oh, right, and both the door and the teleporter would have lead to the mainframe, but the door path would be much longer. That path would have only been used if the teleporter failed._

_As for the gray stars, they aren't any of our security robots. We used the wireframe men to guard everything, but it should be assumed that the intruders killed them all. It would probably for the best if someone stayed behind at all times when you logged onto the network as security._

_Oh, and by the way, you may have noticed that there haven't been any items appearing. The items are from a separate program, but with you destroying the first lock, I can now reach it from the computers up here. I should have the items up and running in no time._

_Oh, and one last thing. In case you have not figured this out yet, the programs in the computers mimic the effects of the Hand Matter, so you don't actually get hurt and are instead made lighter with every hit. However, this doesn't limit your abilities and it doesn't give you the ability to smash, dodge, etc., like you can if you were in contact with it in real life._

_Signed, Crazy Hand  
Dated 11: 11 AM_

Yes, I notice the strange abundance of e-mails in this chapter.

"I guess we might as well go now," Proto Man said as he walked back over to the terminal he and Jon were plugged in only a moment ago. "Like Master Hand said, someone should stay behind while we go to the Mushroom Kingdom program."

"Crazy Hand, not Master Hand," pointed out Jon.

"Whatever."

"Wait, did you say we're going to a Mushroom Kingdom simulation?" asked Toad.

"Yeah."

"Awesome, I know that place like the inside part of my eyelids! However, I won't go with you, you know, because you suck and my navi can kick your ass right now."

"Didn't you say your navi was broken before?" Proto Man sarcastically queried.

"No, that's just your bad memory. Just like I have better weapons than you, I have a better memory, thus, I rock. Even if it was broken, I probably would have fixed it by now, because I still rock."

"...So Jon, you're staying behind?" asked the robot.

"Yeah, I just got this new power up in the program and I want to test it out," Jon answered. "I had all of this adrenaline flowing through me, so doing all of those moves was probably easier during the fight than it is now."

"Wait," Toad paused. "... You got a new ability... and I wasn't there!"

"Yeah, I did."

"...I must be losing my skills! I must practice!" Toad concluded as he ran right up to the terminal. "Jack-in! AwsomeToad.EXE! Execute!" He then pulled out a PET, plugged the cord into a port, and stared at the screen.

Proto Man shrugged and uploaded himself too.

"Uh, Toad, I thought you were going to practice. It looks like your navi will do all of the work," Jon pointed out.

"When I said practice, I meant practicing my navi skills. Even I can't just teleport into the Internet, so I have my navi do everything there."

Jon looked back and practiced his new moves. They still managed to work in a non-computer environment, and as soon as the Game Master confirmed that they all translated well, he stopped and decided to take a game break of indefinite length.  
-I  
-I

Meanwhile...

"Ah, here we are in Phantomile," said Dan as he drove the bus through the beautiful jungle surroundings. "It's certainly gotten better after that entire thing with Ghadius and Nahatomb or whatever their names are."

"This is another one of those dreamworlds, right?" asked Bill.

"Yeah, it is."

"So anyway, Manny, what's going on with King Hippo and Eggplant Wizard?"

"After eating that huge meal, they finally fell asleep. Thank god," Manny replied. "It would probably be a good idea not to play any music until they wake up themselves."

"Right, here we are," Dan said as he stopped the bus at an old gas station. Yes, a gas station in the middle of the jungle. He opened the doors, stepped out, and grabbed a note off of an old pump. After he got back in, he read, "Go to the Reel World through the Sony entrance. This will be your last stop."

"The Reel World? Isn't that where that guy, Viewtiful Joe, is?" asked Bill.

"I'm pretty sure it is. Oh, and by the way, they included tickets for all six of us, but we'd have to pass off Eggplant Wizard and King Hippo as luggage."

"Do we really have to?" asked Bill.

"They'd probably sneak on anyway like when we came here, so, yeah."

"Well, I guess it's back to the warp port," Manny commented. Thus, the bus started up again, turned around, and headed back down the road.

Suddenly, Eggplant Wizard woke up as he looked out the window. "Hey look! There's a red rabbit!"

King Hippo woke up too. "Let's go kick its ass!"

"GO TEAM VENTURE!" they both yelled, making the Venture sign and again trying to jump out the window, still unsuccessfully.

"Maybe we should make the windows bigger," said one of the unnamed band members.

"Why's that, Sam?" asked Bill.

"Next time they tried to jump out, we could leave them behind."

"You know, maybe we shouldn't have let them on," commented Dan.

"No kidding," replied Manny.

While all of the band members seem the same, I actually inserted VERY subtly personalities. However, I'll give 120000000000 Internet fakebills to whoever can figure them out, because I sure can't.  
-I  
-I

After the typical jack-in sequence, Proto Man and AwesomeToad.EXE, Toad's navi, found themselves back on the network, but as opposed to appearing in the room of deadly links, they found themselves already at the level selection room. "I guess since we needed to destroy the first lock to get down here in the real world, they didn't bother to send us back to the beginning," Proto Man commented.

True to his word at the beginning of this part of the chapter, AToad.EXE did, indeed, look exactly like the real Toad... except for the fact that he didn't. The basic shape was correct, but he looked very similar to a typical navi with a curved metal plate replacing a mouth, etc. "Greetings, my name is AwsomeToad.EXE, or AT for short. I do not believe we met," said the navi, extending his hand.

"AT, this is Proto Man. We have to work with him to destroy a lock here. He may be an idiot, but you'll have to be nice to him until I tell you not to," Toad explained to him.

"Yes, sir."

"Okay, we're going into the link labeled Mushroom Kingdom Adventure. Just follow my lead," the red robot explained.

"Yes, sir."

"No!" Toad yelled to his navi.

"...Yes, dude?"

"No!"

"Yes, guy?"

"No! That's it, manual overdrive, activated!" Toad announced. AT.EXE glowed for a moment, but it dimmed down. "Well, thanks to some virtual reality gloves, helmets, etc., I am now in control," he explained. As Toad moved in real life, AT moved on the Internet.

"...I'm getting the feeling that you just plain don't like robots," Proto Man commented.

Ignoring this, Toad ran into the link, followed by the red bomber. They found themselves in a world that looked exactly like Princess Peach's castle in Mario 64.

"I guess it's pretty obvious where we should go," decided the robot as he ran up to the castle doors, only for a message to pop up.

**The doors are locked. You should find another way in.**

"Stand back," AT/Toad commanded as he pulled out his bazooka. After the crimson whistler jumped out of the way behind the mushroom, the lunatic fired a shot, but it harmlessly exploded on the door.

"Deja vu," commented Proto Man, referring to the last time Toad, ineffectively, tried to shoot down a door in this chapter.

"No problem, there should be a secret entrance over here," the fungus revealed as he turned to the side and took a few steps in place.

Blues explained, "In case you're wondering, we can only go in two directions on the pathforwards and backwards."

"It looks like you're right. But, other than the cannon, there's no other way in, and the cannon's locked off..."

"Well, there has to be something somewhere around here..."

"Maybe we should e-mail Master Hand."

"Crazy Hand, and I don't think we really need him right now. Maybe there's something over at this tree," the robot commented as he walked up to a tree and started feeling around on the bark. For some reason, he started fading away, and soon disappeared.

"Proto Man?" Toad then walked up to the same tree, standing still. He faded away and disappeared, too.

Toad reappeared inside the castle, where Blues was waiting. "I guess the Hands programmed a warp there. There wasn't one there in the real castle," the mushroom-man explained. The inside of the castle generally looked the same as it did in the game, but there were now only three doors, one on both sides of the staircase, and one at the top of the stairs. The path sent the two to a door at the right of the stairs, leading them diagonally across the sun emblem on the center floor. Inside the door was a large room with a painting at the end. On the painting was a picture of a jungle with kremlings, crocodile-like enemies, from Donkey Kong Country walking across a path. The two jumped into the artwork and it sent them to another location.

After a flash of light, Proto Man and Toad found themselves in a large jungle area with a tree house behind them and enemies in front. "This looks like the Kongo Jungle, where Donkey Kong lives," noted Toad. "My guess is that we have to get to the end, but it shouldn't be too hard."

They went through all of the enemies and eventually reached the end, where the found themselves on a raft hanging off the edge of a waterfall. Suddenly, two small gorillas jumped down out of nowhereMini-DKs.

**Battle... BEGIN!  
**  
**"DK Rap from Donkey Kong 64, or the remix from SSBM"**

Toad started the fight off by pulling out his bazooka and firing toward one of the miniature apes, but it managed to roll out of the attack's path. The other Donkey Kong then used an attack called the Spinning Kong to spin like helicopter blades toward Proto Man, but the robot interrupted this with a fully charge Proto Buster attack. For further reference, the Kong fighting Toad will be D1 while the one fighting Proto Man will be known as D2.

After avoiding the attack, D1 ran to the talking mushroom and grabbed him, carrying the fungus over his head like his namesake. He walked over to the edge and was about to throw him over, but the robot quickly changed colors and shot two spinning green disks toward the monkey, the Gyro Blades. The projectiles hit Donkey Kong 1 right in the back, causing him to jump up and release Toad. While Blues was preoccupied, the other DK powered up a Giant Punch attack and unleashed the attack's shear force on the robot.

Suddenly, a bat appeared near the mushroom. "&It looks like Crazy Hand managed to reactivate the items! Sweet&!" he thought. Due to the punch he received, the red robot, Proto Man, landed just behind Toad, but he managed to get up and run back to his opponent. Toad picked up the bat by its handle, and right as DK1 got in range, he swung it. Stars came out of it as it slammed into the monkey, and a satisfying "tshweeee" sound came as he hurtled away from the fungus off of the raft he was on. However, he didn't go far enough, as with a well-timed Spinning Kong attack, he managed to hover back onto the battlefield, on the platform above the fungus.

After running back to the Kong, Blues Light changed colors to green again and threw a pair of Gyro Blades at the miniature D2, but it managed to block the assault with it's shield, even if it left little. Before the robot could attack again, Donkey Kong grabbed a large hammer nearby and started swinging it madly. The music changed to the theme that plays when you receive a hammer in the original Donkey Kong game, and Proto Man quickly dashed away, knowing how dangerous it was. However, he managed the stop the attack before it happened by changing colors to a bluish shade and threw a large black bomb at the monkey. Normally, it would have taken a while for it to explode, but DK2 stupidly smacked the bomb with his hammer and it blew up, sending him off the stage. He would have probably made it back, but due to still having a hammer in his hands, the ape continued attacking, forcing him to fall in the river below and die.

Toad fired a bazooka at D1 as he jumped down from the platform above, but the gorilla managed to airdodge out of the way and punched the fungus, forcing him to explode in a cloud of spores. The sudden release of spores was so great, that it sent the Donkey Kong right off screen to his death.

As the last Donkey Kong flew off the screen (the one Proto Man was fighting), a yellow star appeared out of the waterfall and landed in the middle of the raft. The star had two dots representing a face, and it hovered over the ground slowly spinning.

RED TEAM WINS! YOU GOTTEN... POWER STAR!

"Cool, a Power Star," Toad remarked as he walked up to it, though very tired from his self-defense mechanism. He then grabbed it, spun around once, and held the star into the air. Suddenly, he disappeared.

"...Toad?" Proto Man asked. Sighing, the robot logged out of the terminal, but quickly logged back in. He made his way back to the Mushroom Kingdom program, used the warp to get inside of the castle, and found the mushroom at the other end of the room.

"Hey, I've been waiting for you!"

"How did you get there?"

"I guess the Power Star sent me over here and recharged my health, and I can get in that other door now. I have an ideastand in the sun emblem in the center of the room!"

The red bomber shrugged and walked to the location specified as he whistled. Toad, too, walked over there, which was where their paths met. The fungus grabbed Blues' hand and tried to drag him along his path, but to no avail. "Well, it looks like you'll have to start all over," noted Toad.

"Lucky me," the other groaned as he went back into the DK painting. Toad, however, went into the other door to find a painting of a construction site. After a flash of light, he found himself elevated well above the ground on a path of red bars and ladders circling around a building under construction and going up.

"&I wonder where I am&," he thought as he started walking. Thankfully, the restriction of only being able to go two directions made it impossible for him to fall. After a while, he noticed a barrel bouncing toward him, which was blown away by a bazooka. "&I think I have a pretty good idea now&." He tried to walk forward, but stopped. "&Damn. The Eye of the Fourth Wall is focused on what I'm doing right now, so I can't teleport. Looks like I'll have to go through this the actual way. And I can only freeze time to explain things, so that won't work either&."

The mushroom continued up the path of bars, shooting any barrels that rolled toward them, being unable to jump over them. Along the way, he came across a Maxim Tomato, which recovered health, but Toad found it useless since he was yet to be hurt. Eventually, the fungus reached a bar right before a platform raised into the air by a pulley. "&Oh, right, I've heard about this. It's one of the new stages. ...Well, this is stupid. I definitely don't want to fight the guys that will probably be there, yet I went ahead. Why? I better wait for Proto Man&."And thus, he just stood there.  
-I  
-I

Meanwhile... or, actually, a few minutes before the previous event

As Jon played on his Game Boy Advance, he started feeling kind of bad. "&You know, maybe I should be helping them right now&."  
-I  
-I

Strange place to end…

Thus ends day 2, part 1. Next time:

"So you're the one behind all this!" Toad yelled. "…Wait, who are you, again?"


	7. Paradoxic Smashfest Noon

Well, it's the end of the month, and I figured that I've gone long enough without updating. The chapter still isn't done. No, it isn't my hard drive being erased by a virus or anything, but pure human laziness. However, I WILL get this entire chapter wrapped up by June.

I

I

**Now Loading…..**

**Level 4: Paradoxic Smashfest**

**Because The Last Part Should Have Been Out, But, You Know, It's Not...**

**Day 2 Noon: Semifinal Round**

"Original Donkey Kong Theme" 

Toad slowly paced back and forth on the construction beam. Just up ahead was what seemed to be a battle, but the mushroom wasn't the best at fighting by himself, forcing him to wait for Proto Man. After a while, the anticipated red robot dashed up to him.

"What are you still doing here?" he asked with a slight hint of surprise.

"There are a bunch of guys up ahead and... well... I kind of suck at fighting," explained Toad in an embarrassed tone.

"I'm glad to see you finally admitted that."

"Yeah, well, look, don't tell anyone else about my lack of fighting skills, okay?"

"I don't think I have to," Proto Man commented, grinning as he flipped a large red coin in his hands.

"...Okay, I'll just ignore that remark, but--Wait, where'd you get that?" Toad questioned, pointing to the red coin being flipped.

"This?" asked a confused Blues. "I found this and four others like it just hovering in the air in certain places like the other coins. Since they were harder to reach, I figured that there was more to it, but other than being better at healing, there isn't much."

"That's a Red Coin! If you get all 8 of them, you can get a Power Star!"

"And both of us would be able to continue without starting over?"

"Yeah, but right now, let's go in," suggested the fungus as he jumped onto a platform raised into the air by a pulley just beyond where he was standing, followed by the Dr. Light robot. As soon as they got on, two of the fighters in the tournament jumped out of nowhere onto the other end of the platform--Luigi Mario and Princess Peach.

**End "Original Donkey Kong Theme"**

**Battle... BEGIN!**

I could write the fight, but I won't.

I

I

"1042... 1043... ah, 1044, here we go," commented Dan as he drove the Runaway Five bus up to a mail box, opened it up, and placed a package inside it, and got back on the bus.

"Okay, that's the last package we have to deliver in this area of Sony," he said.

"Thank god," thought Bill out loud. "I don't want to stay in this 'Los Santos' place any longer."

"I don't know," replied Manny. "It's kind of nice out here."

There was an explosion in the distance.

"You were saying?" Sam asked.

"We might as well go to the Reel World now. By the way, Manny, how're Eggplant Wizard and King Hippo?" Dan questioned.

"Still stuck in the window."

"Well, let's go then," commented Dan as he started up the bus.

After a couple minutes of driving, they passed a group of loitering gangsters. The Runaway Five ignored them, but unfortunately for them, they happened to be on the side of the bus Eggplant Wizard and King Hippo were on.

"Hey! You guys suck as cheerleaders!" King Hippo yelled as Eggplant Wizard threw an eggplant pIe (not pie) at them.

Some people would like this, but they didn't. As the bus drove away, all Gangster #1 could say was, "What. The. ----?"

"The hell! Nobody does dat ta us and gets away with it! Let's cap those ----ers!" suggested Gangster #2.

"How'd he know I was a cheerleader?" asked Gangster #4. Where was Gangster #3? You tell me.

I

I

In the castle, Toad appeared on the sun emblem, facing toward the main stairway. After a few minutes, Proto Man, too, appeared.

"It looks like this will be the last part of the Mushroom Kingdom adventure," explained the mushroom.

"Thank god," Proto Man noted, "it seems like we've been here forever."

"You're saying that like it was a bad thing."

"...Yes, I am, aren't I?"

Toad gave the robot a look of annoyance, but didn't act on it. The invisible path, this time, led them up the stairs to a pair of twin doors with a large star in the middle. As soon as the came up to it, they automatically opened, revealing a long hallway with a picture of Princess Peach at the end. As they got closer, however, it transformed into one of Bowser and a pair of trapdoors burst open in front of the teammates, creating a large hole in the ground.

"Wow, Mario must have been having an off day if he got caught in this," commented Proto Man as he backed up a little. He dashed forward and used the boost of his thrusters to sail across the gap. "If I could get across this, why couldn't M--" he was saying until he crashed into an invisible barrier preventing anyone from going across and fell into the abyss.

"&Ah, the invisible-wall-at-the-edge-of-the-pit, it seems to get them every time&," the fungus thought as he, too, jumping into the hole.

They both appeared in a dimly lit area with dark, worn stones acting as the walls, floors and ceilings. The only light sources were candles held on the wall, the lava pits, and chains of fireballs attached to a strange gray box floating in the air.

**"Bowser in Theme From Super Mario 64"**

"Where are we now?" asked the red robot.

"It's one of Bowser's fortresses. I've been to quite a few of them, and they are look basically the same," the mushroom replied.

Proto Man nodded. "You know, in a fighting tournament, this place could make a nice arena. You have to wonder why they didn't include this place in the previous tourna--wait, why do they have Bowser's fortress in this tournament when he's banned from here? ...Hand Stadium, I mean, not the fortress."

"I guess they finally gave in to the fans or something. There were a lot of people requesting this arena. I should know, I had to write angry letters replying to all of them. Took a while, but it was worth it..." Toad walked forward and Proto Man followed.

They both had an easy enough time getting across the small lava pits, but trouble started when they came up to the fireball chains spinning slowly in circles. While all Toad had to do was walk under most of them, jumping over the occasional chain on the ground, but Proto Man had to time his jumps and dashes carefully in order not to get burnt.

After the last chain in that section, the two met their first enemies in that area: a trio of Koopa Troopa skeletons, called Dry Bones.

The red bomber thought out loud, "They look easy enough," as he charged up his Proto Buster and fired a blast at the closest undead. It exploded into pieces, and the robot did the same with the others. After a while, however, the bones recombined, rebuilding the Dry Bones as if they were never hurt.

"What?" the robot said in shock.

"They're undead, you idiot! You can't just kill them with a plasma gun. It's best to just ignore them, they can't do much any way."

The two got past the Dry Bones and walked into a passageway. After walking a bit, Toad stopped, but the robot continued forward. Suddenly, the fungus brought out his bazooka, and as he pulled the trigger, a rocket shot toward Proto Man. It collided right into the shield on the android's back, knocking him forward, just before the spiked ceiling crashed down on where he was standing.

As the ceiling started rising upwards again, Toad walked forward under the gap formed. "Uh, thanks," the Light robot said. "I'm not used to looking up."

"No problem," the mushroom said.

... Dear God, I hope that none of the few people who will be reading this chapter are crazy yaio fangirls that will take Toad being kinder toward Proto Man than everyone else shown so far as a hint on shounen-ai (boy-on-boy for the uninformed) and draw pictures of it o0.

After a while, the two managed to reach what seemed to be the final room.

**End "Bowser in Theme From Super Mario 64"**

"Well, it looks like another one of the planned arenas for the tournament," commented Toad as he looked around. There were six platforms in all: four of them rose out of the lava lake below them while the other two were actually Bullet Bill launchers floating far above the outer platforms, but not so high as to be unreachable by jumping. The middle two platforms were connected by a bridge of blocks (for those who have played Super Mario Bros. 3, or Mario Advance 4, these are the blocks you have to trick Bowser into breaking through in order to defeat him) that, while hard to break normally, have been made brittle for the tournament. Between the 1st and 2nd platform, and the 3rd and 4th platform, there was a gap, where a fireball would jump out on occasion. In the background, Bowser's children, the Koopalings, could be seen doing random stuff, but they seemed more like an Easter Egg than anything.

"Since this is an arena from the tournament, there's probably an opponent here like the last one," commented Proto Man. Sure enough, when they got on the second platform from the left, the bridge leading them there disappeared and a single foe jumped down on the third platform from the left with a loud clank. He was not only large in stature, but he had a shiny metal coating. He was Giant Metal Mario, the plumber with both a Super Mushroom and a Metal Box.

**Battle... BEGIN!**

Proto Man started off by firing a fully charged Proto Buster blast at the metal man, but it only knocked him back a few inches. Mario then dashed forward, at a slower pace than usual thanks to his metal status, and was about to do a dash attack when Toad quickly fired his bazooka at the bridge connecting the two platforms, destroying part of it, and forcing the giant to fall into it. Due to his extra weight, he couldn't double jump out of it in time and fell right into the hot lava, but like the acid in the Brinstar stage of SSB:M, the lava didn't kill him and instead caused him to fly into the air with quite a bit of damage done to him.

Proto Man quickly figured out where Giant Metal Mario would land and, changing color, shot a Poppy Bomb there. Unfortunately, when a fighter is knocked down and is getting up, they are invulnerable to pain, so the bomb had no effect on him. Speaking of invulnerability, a Power Star happened to appear right at that point and started bouncing around the stage. Without saying anything, Toad jumped up and grabbed the star, rendering him temporarily invincible.

"Awesome!" he simply said as he ran behind Mario without fear and started punching him (he _did_ have the highest power rating in Mario 2). Blues joined in on this by turning green and firing Search Snakes, basically crawling bombs in the shape of snakes, at the foe. Eventually, Giant Metal Mario rolled out of the way of the assault toward the robot. This process was rather slow, so Proto Man had enough time to jump out of the way and charge up a blast. However, before the shot could hit, the altered plumber brought out a now-metal cape and reflected the attack back to the attacker, making a direct hit. However, while the red bomber was in the air, the now-back-to-vulnerable fungus fired a shot from his bazooka at the jump-man, knocking him off the platform

Giant Metal Mario, while flying into the pit, was hit by a fireball that flew out of it, sending him into the path of a Bullet Bill shot from a cannon above him. This sent him to the other side of the middle platforms, where he landed in the lava pit there. This sent him flying up again, where he was hit by the same Bullet Bill and was knocked into the living bullet that came out of the cannon on that side. He was sent to the other side of the arena, where he landed on the outside boundary of the platforms, another lava pit. This last pit sent him flying off the screen.

**TOAD WINS! YOU GOTTEN... THE LOCK!**

At that point, the lock, looking just like the previous one, appeared on the rightmost platform.

"... Well, I'd definitely call that series of events blog-worthy," commented Proto Man before he and Toad destroyed the lock and logged-out.

I

I

Toad and Proto Man returned to their bodies (technically, Toad was always in his body, but he was too distracted to see what was going on around him) to find that the door at the other end of the hallway, leaving only an energy barrier around the main computer, was now open. However, Jon Jones, the Game Master, was standing up against the terminal, apparently logged in to the network.

Before anyone could ask what he was doing, the shield protecting the main computer came down, and, a few seconds later, Jon snapped back to reality. "...Oh, hey, so you guys managed to get through the Mushroom Kingdom?" he asked in a rather tired voice.

"Yeah, we did. So what were you up to?" responded Proto Man.

"Huh?" Before the robot could repeat himself, Jon added, "Oh, right, I decided to go into the Pokémon Stadium myself, since I wasn't really doing anything--"

"So you weren't training?"

"That? That only lasted a few minutes. Anyway, I went to the Pokémon Stadium, and all you had to do was fight a large group of Pikachus, Pichus, and Jigglypuffs, who all died pretty easily. There were a lot of pokéballs too, so that made it even simpler. During the fight, I even got an Articuno, and that took out a lot of them, so, uh... anyway, I beat them, destroyed the lock, and here we are."

"So you broke a promise that you were going to stay here and went into a place where you could have been deleted, and left our bodies unprotected?" Toad asked.

"Well, yeah, but I don't remember making a promise about that."

"...Well, alrighty then, let's go to the main computer to do whatever we were supposed to do," recommended Toad, dropping his previous point.

After walking for a bit, everyone stopped. "Wait, exactly what _were_ we going to do when we got to the mainframe computer?" asked the Real Worlder.

"...You know, come to think of it, Crazy Hand never really told us that. We better e-mail him," Proto Man suggested.

"I thought you didn't like e-mailing for help," pointed out the mushroom-man.

"Just e-mail him."

"Jeez, fine." Toad pulled out his PET and typed a message on it. A few minutes after he clicked "SEND", a letter from Crazy Hand appeared on the mushroom's screen.

_I just got your e-mail. I'm sorry that I didn't mention this earlier, but when you get to the mainframe computer, you will be able to disable all of the locks in the area without uploading yourself. From there, I can access the computer and scan the entire area for the fighters. Then you can go to where they are and rescue them._

_Attach the e-mail to the slot in the computer and type in the password MHoF under the username Admin. After that, go to "My Computer", go to the &: Drive (yes, the &: Drive) and select "Lock Options". There, press the "Open All Locks" button. There will be an error message. What you have to do is click the TEXT on the message, not any of the icons, exactly 20 times, and then press the OK button. After this, all locked doors and programs will open up, one every two seconds._

_Signed, Crazy Hand_

_Dated 11: 49 AM_

_Attachments: mainaccess.exe (scan for viruses?)_

Jon looked up from the message. "Attach the e-mail to the computer? What does he mean by that?"

Toad walked toward the mainframe. The computer was a golden octagonal tower stretching from ceiling to floor. Taking up two sides each were four screens with keyboards and metal platforms hovering above the floor by about a foot, acting as a seat.

He then pulled the wire out of his PErsonal Terminal and attached the other side to the nearest jack-in port of the computer, the e-mail now appearing on the larger computer's screen. Jon made a sound of understanding in response to this.

As Toad sat down on the floating seat, he downloaded the attachment and a new window popped up:

User Name:

Password:

After checking the e-mail again, Toad typed in the correct words.

User Name: Admin

Password: MHoF

Pressing ENTER, the window disappeared and the screen was replaced by a desktop. Instead of going to my computer, Toad instead went over to My Documents, and then My Pictures. He didn't find what he was looking for.

"Hmm, he seems to be hiding them very well..." he remarked.

"Toad, just follow the directions Crazy Hand gave to us," stated the robot.

"Jeez, fine." He exited out of My Documents and went to My Computer. He opened the file to find a huge number of icons, ranging from A: Drive to Z: Drive, and even the &: Drive they were looking for. "Maybe they're under the P: Drive or X: Drive?"

"Go to the &: Drive already!"

Grumbling, the mushroom dragged the mouse away from the X: Drive and double clicked on the &: Drive icon. Out of the icons appearing on the window, he selected "Lock Options". "Open All Locks" was double-clicked and, like predicted, an error message popped up. The text was clicked 20 times, and finally, the OK button was pressed.

As a result of this, a new window popped up:

Opening locks

Lock 4: 15

"There will be no one to stop us this time!" Jon said, trying to imitate Darth Vader, but failing quite badly. You could still tell who he was supposed to be, though.

Not as in reaction to that statement, but to a completely different one said by a guy named Jkglahlsdk on Planet Cwelavari, a large blast of fire came hurtling toward the fighters. They all managed to get out of the way, but barely. The attack hit the wall behind them, burning right through it and sending a smaller, but still large, wave of flames out to its sides, melting part of the two walls adjacent to it.

"What the crap was that!" the Game Master exclaimed.

Toad pulled out his kart racer from nowhere. "It's one of those things that attacked me before! We better get out of here!"

Proto Man briefly looked at the hole from the fire attack. "I'd have to agree with that advise."

Everyone hopped on, feeling rather cramped, and the mini-car shot off.

There were three possible hallways Toad could have driven down to escape the monster. Instead, he chose to drive right through the wall weakened by the fire attack. It seemed like the only short hallway in the entire structure was the one leading from the teleporter to the mainframe--it was no wonder that Crazy Hand wanted them to scan the area for the fighters instead of manually looking. The track twisted, turned, winded, and even turned upside down (obviously one of Crazy Hand's designs). At one point, there was even a large chunk of ice that suddenly appeared in front of the car. As it turned out, the ice was from one of the monsters they passed in the hallway who was trying to stop them.

"No wonder you didn't get a good look at the attackers before!" Jon yelled, because that was the only way for everyone else to hear over the engine. "All I saw was a flash of gray when we passed that last one by!"

After a while, Jon heard a beeping from his GBA, but only as a result of a bump in the "road" (most likely caused by the monsters) causing his head to drop under the seat, temporarily getting his ear stuck in the pocket where the portable system was kept.

"It's an e-mail from Crazy Hand! He's asking why some files are still locked! I'll tell him what's going on right now!" the Game Master yelled.

"WAIT! REMEMBER TO MENTION THE FACT THAT I'M KICKING ALL OF THE MONSTERS' ASSES!" the mushroom yelled much louder that Jon was.

The e-mail was sent, and after a while of driving around, avoiding the occasional gray monster, the response appeared on the Game Boy's screen.

_I got your e-mail. So those gray creatures you mentioned before are chasing you? I assume that they must have stopped the unlocking after you left. I believe I have something that may help._

_Go back to the mainframe computer, go to the Command Prompt and type in the command "Enter Network" just like that, without any coding. It will activate some new hardware the monsters must have added to the computer that will suck you right into the mainframe._

_If you jacked in normally, your bodies would still be vulnerable, but this will literally transfer your bodies into the computer, and you will be safe._

_Once inside, you have to go to the Mute City Adventure to open the last remaining lock, which, coincidently, will unlock the area scanner and allow you to find the missing fighters. Then, you can rescue them and somehow get them back to the entrance. By that time, the Good Scientists would have found a way to breach the shield and that army will be there awaiting the gray monsters._

_Signed, Crazy Hand_

_Dated 11: 57 AM_

"The mainframe! How do we find our way back there!" Proto Man asked.

"Didn't you make a map of our path as we drove in your head or something!" Jon asked

"We were going too fast for me to have any idea what was going on!"

Just then, they passed by the hole in the wall they burst through to start this sequence.

"Toad! Turn back!" Jon yelled.

"NO, WE WENT TOO FAR! IT WOULD BE QUICKER JUST TO GO AROUND!" yelled back Toad.

Thus, they went around on the hallway again, passing by an actual entrance to the mainframe room, and finally drove through the hole, screeching to a halt in front of the computer.

The robot quickly got off, being unable to get carsick unlike his comrades, opened the Start menu, selected Command Prompt, and typed in Enter Network.

As soon as he pressed enter, a glowing circle appeared in front of the mainframe, causing Jon, Toad, his kart, and Proto Man to disappear in a flash.

I

I

Thus ends day 2, part 2. Next time:

"So you're the one behind all this!" Toad yelled. "…Wait, who are you, again?"

Yes, it's the same preview as last time.


	8. Paradoxic Smashfest Noon Still

**The symbol "&" will show the thoughts of characters.**

"-I" will act as a section break.

"-" has replaced all astericks, which do not show up here.

**Now Loading...  
LEVEL FOUR: Paradoxic Smashfest  
Because This Is Really Late...  
Day 2 Noon Again: Final Round**

The trio found themselves in a very familiar room that was around as large as the Smash Ring with marble tile floor, nonexistent walls, and several links to different areas, represented by stylish arrows and signs revealing their destination.. "Well, like Crazy Hand said, we should go to the Mute City Adventure," reiterated Proto Man to the other two. Saying nothing else, they ran up to the appropriate link and dashed in.

After a brief flash of light, the three companions appeared on a wide racing track. It was night, but it was hard to tell from the surrounding city's bright lights. Though the pathway was clearly suspended very high into the air-so high that one could see nebulae in space very clearly despite the pollution-you could still see Mute City below stretching toward the horizon. While most of the buildings appeared as stars against a dark Earth, quite a few stretched so far upwards that they went above the track, and even more futuristic billboards hovered, raving about low, low prices for hotels and the world's largest unicycle. Floating in the air were several pink platforms several feet above the track, but just low enough to jump up on. At that moment, a large group of cars levitating above the ground drew up behind the travelers (can they be called travelers if technically they have been staying in the same place for most of this chapter?) and they wasted no time hopping onto the platforms, which were just out of the cars' reach.

"**Mute City Theme From SSB:M"**

"Well, this is definitely Mute City," commented Jon as he looked around.

"So we have to just get to the end of this section by staying on the pink platforms, right?" Proto Man asked.

"And get on the track if there are no cars, yeah."

"Sounds easy enough."

They traveled on the 2-D path for a few minutes.

"Jeez, this is almost pathetic," commented the robot. "Run on the track, jump on a platform when that humongous exclamation point tells us. It's a lot easier than the previous adventure programs."

"Well, it's supposed to be more of an endurance thing than anything, so keep on going, dammit," Toad responded.

They jumped up on a floating platform as some AI racers passed, but it suddenly disappeared below them. "WTF?" was the word as they all fell on the track, thankfully after the cars left.

"Okay, I have a feeling that wasn't supposed to happen," commented Jon.

As the Game Master got up, Proto Man noticed something odd about his teammates' positions. "Hey, we're all in different places on the track."

"What's so weird about that?" asked Toad.

"Remember, before that invisible barrier thing stopped us from moving the our sides. You wouldn't be where you are right now if the barrier wasn't gone."

Jon walked around in a circle. "Hey, you're right."

"But that makes no sense," pointed out the robot. "The reason the barrier existed was because the Hands didn't program the third dimension into the Adventures. Why did they program it into the Mute City Adventure of all places?"

"Let's ask them," Toad suggested, pulling out his PET and emailing the hand in question. After about a minute however, the cars finished their lap and were coming around back towards the fighters.

Jon was the first to notice them. "They're coming back! What do we do now?"

Toad pulled out his kart again out of nowhere. "According to Newton, if we go as fast as those cars, it will hurt less when they crash into us!"

"Are you sure he said that?"

"It's better than nothing," explained Proto Man as he hopped in the back of the kart, followed by Jon. Right before the cars hit, Toad's kart shot forward, traveling a bit slower than the other racers as he skillfully swerved around them. As the last racer passed, the miniature car stopped.

"Okay, so all of the pink platforms disappeared and we can move in three dimensions again," recapped the Game Master. "I'd say it's a good idea to ask Crazy Hand what the heck's going on." He pulled out his Game Boy.

"I already did that, remember!" pointed out the mushroom.

"Oh, right," responded Jon as he put his system back in his pocket.

A few seconds later, Toad's PET beeped. "Okay, the response to _my_ e-mail is here."

_I got your e-mail. I checked the network and it turns out that those creatures must have hacked into the system, altering every adventure program in some way. Thankfully, the programming is too complex for them to simply delete the programs, so they had to choose a more roundabout way. For the one you're on, they erased the programming for the platforms and the moved the lock from the end of the track to the inside of the lead car in the race. As for you being able to move freely in the program, me and my brother took the cheap route with the Mute City Adventure-we simply took the standard F-Zero training program and edited it to have more detail and restricted movement to match the other programs. The gray creatures must have accidentally deleted the restriction while making the other changes._

_By the way, sorry I didn't mention this before, but in order to log out of these programs, you have to destroy the lock in this area and e-mail me. Then, I'll be able to activate the machinery that brought you there and bring you back._

_Signed, Crazy Hand_

_Dated 12:05 PM_

"So, the lock's on the first car. I guess we have to go after it with Toad's car or something," commented Jon.

Proto Man looked at a sign that was conveniently near him. "We better hurry, the cars are on the last two laps.

"Well, let's go, dammit!" Toad yelled as he got back into his car. The other two shrugged and did the same.

**End "Mute City Theme"**

-I

-I

"**Big Blue Theme" even though it's still Mute City**

Toad's kart whizzed along the well-lit, but still dark, track

"It looks like we can see the other cars now!" Jon yelled over the engines' wails and he stood on the back of the car while holding the handrail with Proto Man.

"THE CAR'S GOING TOO SLOW, WE NEED TO BOOST!" yelled Toad

"Well, Toad, it's only been about a minute, so we're going at a pretty good pace if you ask me, but I'm not going to pass up an opportunity to boost!" commented Proto Man from the back.

"But F-Zero racers can't boost until the first lap is done, and this kart has a F-Zero engine, so we can't!" pointed out the Game Master.

"NO PROBLEM! PROTO MAN, GO INTO THE TRUCK, GET A BUNCH OF BOOST MUSHROOMS, AND PUT THEM IN THE POWER-UP TANK!"

The red robot searched through the cart's trunk, pulled out three Boost Mushrooms (while all of those red mushrooms look the same, they have different effects-the Super Mushroom makes you grow in height, the Boost Mushroom can be used as booster fuel for certain engines, etc.) and placed the mushrooms into a special slot above the trunk labeled "Place Power-Ups Here To Use".

"TLIPIRU BUUSTU!" Toad yelled as he pressed a button on the control panel.

Suddenly, the kart's speed seemed to suddenly triple and fire started to shoot out of the exhaust pipe. This would be bad for the two people in the back, but the sheer speed was causing their bodies to float up in the air, avoiding the flame, and they were forced to hold on for their lives. Their situation did not improve when the speeding car crashed into one of the AI opponents and flew right off the track.

Everyone screamed as they dropped toward the star-like oblivion of the Mute City when suddenly, a UFO beamed them up and dropped them back onto the track while a loud voice yelled, "Off Course!".

"Well, this sucks!" Toad exclaimed as he started up the car again. "You probably think we shouldn't boost again, huh Jon?"

Jon was shaking his head in order to regain feeling there and didn't hear Toad's question.

"What, we should? Well why not! Proto Man!"

"Got it," Blues responded as he repeated the boosting process. The car shot ahead as Jon was too busy holding on to speak. They found themselves in the middle of the fray when the power-up ended and some of the surrounding racers started knocking into the kart in effort to damage them, which pissed off the mushroom.

"OKAY, THAT'S IT!" he yelled as his hands left the steering wheel and he pulled out his bazooka.

When the kart started swerving, Proto Man yelled, "No, it's okay Toad, Jon and I will handle them, you just keep driving!"

"NO, I HAVE A BETTER IDEA, JON CAN DRIVE!" the mushroom suggested as he flipped over to the back of the car and placed Jon in the driver's seat, who had to fold up his legs to fit in.

"Uh, well, okay," the Game Master said to himself as he looked over the controls, making sure the car was going straight at the same time as the cars surrounding them exploded from all of the blasts. "&OK, A is the left pedal, B is the right pedal, the shoulders... are the right pedal too, the items are this button here, the F-Zero boost is this button here, I'm set. Gah, hard turn ahead&!"

Just as Toad was about to fire a shot toward one of the attacking cars, Jon slid to the right in the kart, throwing off his aim. "HEY! WHAT ARE YOU-" mushroom-man yelled, but was interrupted when they crashed into the wall and a bunch of the opponents passed by.

"Sorry, I thought the slide would be like in Mario Kart, not F-Zero GX!" Jon explained as he pulled the car out of the edge and started driving again.

"Happens to the best of us!" commented Proto Man.

"WELL DON'T DO IT AGAIN! DO YOU NEED A TUTORIAL!" asked the red-spotted midget as two buttons-yes and no-appeared a few feet in front of the car. Jon quickly turned, ran over the "no" button, and drove toward the rest of the racers.

"Hey, the finish line's ahead, we'll be able to boost normally once we cross it!" Captain N commented.

"We only have one lap left to reach the first place car, we better hurry!" pointed out the Red Bomber.

"BOOST!"

"Boost."

"Good," said Jon to himself. "Let's see how you feel having to hold on to a handle bar at 1000 miles per hour. After this triple boost, I'm going to do an F-Zero boost the rest of the way, m'kay!"

"Got it!" The robot acknowledged as he put the mushrooms in the power-up tank and Jon pressed the button. The car shot forward, much faster than usual for some reason, and as it flew up a ramp into the air, Blues and Toad whooped like the Duke brothers.

While in the air, Proto Man looked back behind them. "Is is just me, or are all of the cars we destroyed back!"

Jon was focused on underage driving, so he didn't turn when he said, "The UFO probably brought them back, since it saved us back when we fell and this is based off a training program where that happens!"

"I can see the other cars in front of us! From my estimate, we're pretty far back, but this boosted jump is getting us ahead!"

"That's good to hear!"

"I HAVE AN IDEA!" Toad exclaimed

"I have a better one! You can shoot ahead while I shoot the cars coming back!" Proto Man said.

"...Proto Man, do you think you could use that high-techno programming of yours to calculate when we're going to land!" asked Jon.

Blues looked around below them. "Strange, we wouldn't be going this far with three mushrooms, and I put in three mushrooms!"

"YOU PUT IN THREE MUSHROOMS! I PUT IN THREE MUSHROOMS!" You should know who is saying this by now.

"...I suppose that could explain it. Anyway, we should be landing in a few seconds!"

"I think that's the first place car over there!" pointed Jon ahead.

"MY CAR CAN BARELY HANDLE THREE MUSHROOMS! WITH SIX MUSHROOMS, THE BOOSTER WON'T BE WORKING ANYMORE! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH IT COSTS TO FIX IT!"

"I don't think we'll have to boost anymore... Uh Jon, you may want to turn a bit the the right!"

Before the Game Master could ask why, Toad's kart crashed right into the first place racer. It was knocked into the wall and received visible damage while the kart ricocheted off the car and barely missed the wall, falling into the abyss yet again.

All of them started screaming as they fell toward the city... until they landed on another part of the track with a loud, but harmless, thud.

"...Well this sucks! Now we're five thousand miles behind everyone!" Toad yelled as he and the other riders got out/off of the car. "And without a boost, we'll never reach the lead car again!"

"Yeah, I hate when you fall off the track and instead of being put back, you land on an earlier part of the path," commented Jon as he stretched his legs, which were sore from being folded up.

"Actually," the robot pointed out, "we're actually ahead of everyone. Look, those are the other cars going around the curve there. The former lead car is the black one there. I suggest we start firing at it"

The racers were blazing right toward them, and while they were quite far away, they were closing in very quickly.

"...FIRE!"

Proto Man fired several shots of his Proto Buster, Jon fired a stream of A-Shots, and Toad launched missiles, but all of them either missed their target or they hit a car that would suddenly go in front of the black one.

"S---, none of them are hitting!"

Jon thought for a while as the cars came closer. "I got it! Everyone, just get out of the way of the race!" When they did, Jon pressed the START button. The delay ended, time paused and all of the cars stood in place. By this point, the cars were in walking distance, so Jones went up to the black racer, got on top, and unpaused.

The shock of the sudden movement when he restarted time left the Game Master reeling a bit, but he managed to recover, and when he got a good grip, he turned his controller into the Light Gun and fired a string of A-Shots at the damaged car. Just before it exploded, Jon airdodged off of it and double-jumped out of the way of the others, leaving only the lock. With the range clear, both Blues and Toad fired at it and the crystal eventually shattered.

**End "Big Blue Theme"**

"Well thank god that's over," commented Proto Man.

The Game Master pulled out his GBA. "I'll e-mail Crazy Hand."

After a while, the response came.

_I got your e-mail. I'm creating a shortcut from where you are back to the main link room. I'm not going to upload you back to the real world until I finish the scan of the area, because the fact that you were uploaded onto the computer gives me the suspicion that the fighters may have been trapped in an on-line area too. Also, the invaders may be in the mainframe room, so it wouldn't be a good idea to go back there until I knew for sure._

_The link will appear in a few minutes, and the scan will take ten minutes and then ten more minutes to scan the computers if the fighters aren't in the real world._

_Signed, Crazy Hand_

_Dated 12:13 PM_

As the e-mail said, the link back to the main room materialized near the three after a few minutes-it was nothing fancy, just a small white arrow jutting out of the side of the track-and the fighters walked into it, finding themselves back in the Hand Stadium Stage Network Main Database.

"I guess we'll just wait here," said Jon as he pulled out his GBA and started playing a game.

-I

-I

"... Dan, do you see those guys following us?" asked Bill from the second seat to the left.

"Yeah, I do," Dan the driver replied, keeping a close eye on the tailing cars through the rear-view mirror.

"Hey Hippy, did you see that bumper sticker!" Eggplant Wizard asked, not stuck in the window anymore. "It was high-larious!"

"No! I missed it!" King Hippo admitted.

"Well that's okay, there's another car with a bumper sticker just like it!"

"I see it! DFE563H! Hahahahahahahahahaha!"

"I know! The best part was FE!"

"Yeah, but you shouldn't forget the 3H!"

Sam looked toward the back seat where the two were. "That's the tenth license plate they've found funny. Am I missing something?"

Suddenly, Eggplant Wizard looked back toward the following cars. "Hey! It's those sucky cheerleaders from before!"

"Sucky cheerleaders?" asked Manny. "Do you know those guys, Eggplant Wizard?"

"Yeah, they were hanging around in that last town with guns and cigarettes and drugs and knives and graffiti and head-flag-things and sunglasses and a different thing!"

"...So you called some Los Santos gangsters sucky cheerleaders!" asked Bill.

"Holy crap, this is bad," replied Dan. "We have to get out of here."

"Look! They're pulling out guns!" yelled one of the as-of-yet-unnamed band members.

"I see them, Will," Dan replied. "We're going to have to go off-ro-"

Bullets started firing at the bus, and everyone cowered in their seats, but for some reason, none of them seemed to have hit.

"What?" asked Sam. All of the band looked back toward the gang members' cars and saw what seemed to be a purple streak hovering right behind the bus. Every time a bullet was fired, the streak would change in order to halt it.

"It must be Eggplant Wizard," commented Manny.

"No one tries to attack a jazz band and gets away with it! I'm going to... ah, never mind. Dan, crank up the radio!" ordered Bill.

"**Song From the Blues Brothers Scene Where The Two Go On Stage Near the End"**

"Or that could work. Either way, let's go!"

Dan shifted gears an the bus shot off. I could give you a long chase, but there was just a car sequence the last scene.

-I

-I

"Almost... almost... there," said Prof. Gadd as he added a finishing touch to the devise.

"Well, we're finally done," commented Dr. Jones, no relation to the main character. "The Gadd Industries. ShieldBreaker 3-Omega is complete, and just in time at that!"

"I'm very pleased to have worked with you, gentlemen, and all of you will be adequately paid for your efforts. We should get this over to Hand Stadium immediately, and Prof. Bird, you call the general and tell him it's complete," said Master Hand as Dr. Light left to retrieve his flying machine.

The Bad Scientists watched all this. "You know guys," started off Dr. Cortex, "I just realized that we had several opportunities to kill the Good Scientists."

"What do you mean?" replied Dr. Wily.

"Remember when we ransacked their hotel rooms? We could have put some time bombs in them or something. Or when they were working on the shield breaker, we could have ran in there with our guns blazing."

No one spoke.

Dr. Eggman broke the silence after a while, "Now that I think about it, we could have. Fancy that."

Everyone murmured in agreement.

"Either way, there is nothing we kan do about it now," pointed out K. Roolenstein.

"Or can we...?" said Dr. Tongue. "Does anyone have a gun?"

Everyone said, "No," but not at the same time.

"Oh, well, then forget that."

Everyone went back to watching the Good Scientists pack up.

-I

-I

After the Runaway Five bus leaped off of the bridge onto the dirt path, Sam asked, "Are they still following us?"

"Yup, they still are," replied Manny. "Jesus, don't you think they're going a bit to far over being called sucky cheerleaders?"

"Wait, I have an idea! Maybe there's something useful in the mail!" exclaimed Bill. A bunch of the band members got up to look at their shipments.

"I found something!" Will exclaimed. "Some guy won a pokeball through eBay!"

"Well what are you waiting for? Throw it!"

Will pressed the button on the pokeball and a light came out of it. A figure started to form on the ground. It was rather short, had large eyes, and had a propeller on top on its head. As the figure formed, one could see bolts on the surface and that it was robotic in nature.

It spoke. "Hey, what happened? The last thing I remember was that I was going to the stadium for my commentary job and some crazy kid with a backwards baseball cap thought I was a pokemon and captured me. Oh hey, I didn't see you there, my name is Omochao and I am-"

Before Omochao could finish his sentence, Bill grabbed the robot chao and threw him at one of the cars behind them. With a distant scream, the adorable machine tore through the cars and exploded on the road, but he didn't die, unfortunately.

"That's the last useful thing I can find," said Manny.

"Well, we still need to get away from them!" exclaimed Dan.

"Coming right up!" Eggplant Wizard yelled. Suddenly, an eggplant turbo rocket appeared on the back of the bus and with a loud explosion, the vehicle shot forward.

-I

-I

In a hotel room near all of the action and coincidently near a bank lived a man named Joe. He was watching TV.

"Awesome! The comic book convention is tonight and the new episode of "Kickfirstman!" is starting soon, and this one is supposed to have the return of Dr. Muerte!" the man said. "The Smash Bros. Tournament is nice and all, but I wouldn't miss this for the world!"

Suddenly, there was explosion outside at the bank Joe happened to be next to. He then ran to the window and saw a group of robbers running out of the building with large sacks of money as the alarm blared.

"Those have to be the worst bank robbers I've ever seen! I guess I should show them how it's done! Henshin a g-"

Suddenly, a rock song that sounded strangely like "Pegasus Fantasy", the theme of the anime Saint Seiya, blared out of the TV as the clock struck 12:30.

_Kickfirstman! (Firstman!) (Firstman!) (Firstman)_

"Woah, a new theme song! They didn't say anything about this!" Joe exclaimed as he ran over to his television.

There was gunfire outside, followed by someone yelling, "You'll never take me alive, coppers!" and "Say 'ello ta my little friend!"

"Hmm, I should probably stop them… but it's a new theme song!"

_He runs through the night!_

_And he's gonna p\/\/ns0r your bones!_

_What can he do? Nobody knows because..._

_Ooh-ah-eigh! (Eigh!) (Eigh!) (Eigh)_

"I need a blank tape!"

_Evil Bob Solo!_

_Is gonna come and p\/\/ns0r you bones!_

_What can you do?_

_Have salmon kill for you!_

"I guess Silvia won't mind if I record over her copy of "Random Romance Movie 3". It'll only be a few minutes anyway." Joe placed the tape in the VCR and pressed record. He was about to walk away, but he decided to stick around for the rest of the opening.

_Kickfirst's gonna kick your ass!_

_And he will kick it well!_

_Just look at these guys, he will p\/\/ns0r their bones_

_Just like head-cha-la..._

_Kickfirstman!_

_There's the girl who wrote "do-do-do"_

_Kickfirstman!_

_There's the man who said "----", oh yeah!_

_Kickfirstman!_

_There's the guy who killed Yogi Bear_

_Kickfirstman! Is gonna kick his!_

_His very soooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuul!_

"Well, that was a great theme song, but it's time for action! Henshin a go go, baby!" Joe struck a pose and his body was engulfed by light. Suddenly, his skin seemed to fly of his body, revealing red tights, white gloves, white boots, a large white boomerang emblem, and a long white scarf.

After a stylish scene transition, Joe jumped onto the top of the bank from off screen and looked down at the criminals, who were shooting at police officers hiding behind their cars. --insert witty remark--. The robbers looked up at the superhero.

"Who are you!" yelled one of them.

The nerd then started posing. "My name is Joe." He made another pose. "Viewtiful Joe!" The criminals started shooting at the hero, but he avoided all of the blasts by jumping down the building and landing right behind them. A message appeared in the air.

**GO FOR IT!**

Joe started beating up everyone with moves that were of great viewty when the Runaway Five bus drove by with its eggplant rocket boosters. Coincidently, at the same time, Joe used his Slow ability to have everything go in slow motion, which made all of his attacks twice as powerful and increased the thrust of the bus's engine. A lot.

"Wooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaah!" all of the band members yelled when the Slow Motion ended and the bus lifted off of the ground. After a while, the vehicle started to fly above all of the buildings.

"Uh... Dan... could you tell us where we're going?" asked Sam.

"I have no idea, Sam. No idea," Dan the driver replied with full honesty.

Soon, the bus was in space.

"Hey, EG, there's an atmosphere down there!" exclaimed King Hippo.

"Let's jump out the window and beat it up for being so breathable!" Eggplant Wizard responded.

Thus, the two jumped out the window and floated out in space.

"Well what do you know, they managed not to get stuck this time," commented Manny as he looked back.

"Doesn't really help our situation, though," Bill pointed out. "Oh, Dan, by the way, have you noticed that we're heading right toward that dimensional star?"

"How are we breathing up here?" Will queried, but he was ignored.

Dan responded. "Yeah, I see it. I just hope we don't crash into a something in that dimension."

The bus collided with the star and after a flash of light, they found themselves in a completely different area of space on collision course with a planet.

Everyone screamed as they entered the atmosphere. Thankfully, the eggplant blob that earlier protected them from the bullets also prevented them from burning up, so that problem was solved. Unfortunately, they were still going to crash into the ground. This turned out not to be so, however, as they luckily landed on a steep road going down a hill that slowly leveled out. After a few minutes of going down the empty road, the bus slowed to a stop with no one harmed.

No one said anything for a while.

"... Well... that was... strange," said Sam.

"Hey, I just noticed, we're right in front of one of the warps to the Reel World," Manny revealed, pointing to an old movie theater ahead. "We just need to activate the key that came with our letter from Phantomile to get in that world."

"What're the chances of that?" asked Will.

Thus, they drove to the Reel World, delivered the mail, and their job was done.

-I

-I

Jon's GBA beeped, so he turned off his game and switched to his e-mail account. "Well, we finally got the e-mail. Let's see where everyone is."

_I finished the scan. As you may have guessed by how long it took, none of the fighters could be found under the stadium. However, we did find them on the network, specifically in the Fourside Adventure. Why there, we don't know for sure. It isn't exactly the best area to hide, but this may be because the kidnapper felt that his plan would have been complete by the time he was found, because he didn't feel the need to hide within a hiding place, or because he wanted his encounter with you guys to be in a city environment for whatever reason._

_There's one thing that is odd, however. During your entire adventure, you have never been attacked by any of the gray creatures on the network, despite the fact that they quite clearly had the capability to do so. One may presume that this is because of one of two things: 1. they are playing with you like a cat toys with a mouse before it is eaten, or 2. they don't know where you are or what you're doing._

_Evidence supports number two, however. The monsters didn't even appear until a few minutes before you broke the lock in the first adventure, they didn't attack again until you broke into the mainframe room, and when you got on the network, they altered the programming instead of going in. This last one implies that there are less of these creatures than we thought. Thus, the kidnapper doesn't exactly have much control over this entire situation, but he's still very popular so you should be careful._

_As mentioned before, they changed all of the adventure programming, not just Mute City. They altered Fourside by placing background buildings that you cannot enter in the path, so you would have to scale the buildings, but I rewrote the programming again so that there is a tunnel right through all of them, but you should hurry in case they fix it._

_Finally, after 10 minutes, hopefully once you free the prisoners, I'll download all of you to the Smash Ring, where the army will be waiting-the scientists have completed the shield breaker and are bringing it here right now-in case the gray creatures are downloaded too. When the downloaded ones are defeated, the army will comb the arena depths._

_Signed, Crazy Hand_

_Dated 12:34 PM_

"... Popular?" asked Jon, referring to the end of paragraph 3.

"I think he means 'powerful' Jones," replied Proto Man. "Even giant hands make typos."

"Anyway, we better come up with a plan or something in case the gray things are there," the Game Master suggested. "First of all, judging from all of the facts given to us, it should be assumed that the creatures are in fact Starmen from the Earthbound games. They are powerful psychics with several abilities and there are several types.

Starman Jr. has 200 HP, infinite PP, 11 OFF, 10 DEF, 1 SPD, 80 IQ, 0 GUTS, gives 16 EXP, and gives $20. It can guard, use PSI Fire Alpha, use PSI Fire Beta, and PSI Freeze Alpha. However, as far as I know, only one was made, and it was killed by Buzz Buzz the bee, so it won't be a problem.

Starmen have 545 HP, 155 PP, 103 OFF, 126 DEF, 24 SPD, 16 IQ, 25 GUTS, give 23396 EXP, and leaves $720. They can fire beams, use PSI Magnet Alpha, Shield Alpha, Guard, and use Sudden Guts Pills. They don't have any elemental PSIs, so it can't be them.

And... wait, dammit, it can't be the Starmen."

"Why not?" asked Proto Man.

"I just realized, no Starmen besides Jr. can use elemental PSI attacks like Fire and Freeze, and like I said there aren't any more Starmen Jr.s."

"Well, either way, the gray things can fly and shoot fire, ice, and lightning, and in my mind, that's all we need to know. The way I see it, they aren't too much of a problem. Remember, like Crazy Hand said a while ago, the on line network copies the entire Hand Matter thing, so the attacks will only knock us farther and farther back. However, they can still knock us off the screen, so we can't just walk into every attack or anything."

Blues stopped and smacked Toad on his head, who was jumping up and down upside down, not paying attention.

He started again. "Like I was saying, we first have to find out what kind of cage everyone is being kept in, so as soon as we go in the area, Jon has to pause and go investigate. If it needs a key, he'll have to go look for that too. If he can get the key without any trouble, he should and come back to us with it. If he can't, he'll come back to us and we'll go get it. Then, we'll free everyone while someone distracts the guards. If he can't find the key, he'll come back and we'll assume that we have to defeat one of the guards to get it. If-"

Proto Man was interrupted by Jon's Game Boy Advance beeping.

"It looks like we got another e-mail from Crazy Hand," commented Jon.

_The shield is down and the army will be arriving any second now. I've e-mailed to tell you something I just found out._

_You don't have to free the fighters, just go to Fourside and I'll upload everyone to the Smash Ring. To understand this, let me first explain something to you. There is a difference between copying objects to the Smash Ring as solid-light holograms and downloading uploaded objects there as actual objects. For the actual objects, it seems that only objects uploaded through the mainframe room, or the Smash Ring apparently, can be downloaded back to the real world. For the holograms, everything saved on the hard drive is copied to the ring, but not people uploaded to it like you._

_So, assuming the cage, like the buildings on the path and the holes in them, is now part of the programming, then everyone will be saved by uploading them to the ring. I'm having you go to Fourside, too, because it would be simpler than going through the entire path back to the entrance._

_You'll still be brought to the Smash Ring in eight minutes._

_Signed, Crazy Hand_

_Dated 12:36 PM_

"... You know, it took a full minute to process that plan," revealed Proto Man. "All that time... wasted..."

"Well okay then, let's go," Jon said as he started walking toward the link to Fourside.

"Wait," the robot said. "It would still be a could idea to come up with a plan."

"For what? We just have to go in there and wait for eight more minutes. We don't even have to be anywhere near everyone else! Nothing will happen."

Thus, everyone walked into the link. In the city, the gray creatures stood right in front of them, staring.

"... So, they _were_ Starmen."

Toad looked at the Game Master. "You have damned us all!"

LATER

The three were carried by the Starmen through a city of tall skyscrapers toward the center along the 2D path. The gray aliens had a shiny surface with a strange black symbol on their chests. It was an upside-down triangle with two columns of rectangles below it-the first had two long ones and the other had a single shorter one. Their heads were parabolas pointing upward connecting directly to their bodies without any neck. In the center of their head was a black strip going across, acting as a visor. At their shoulders were silver tentacles around the length of a normal arm. They had knee-less legs and metal plates for feet, but this didn't really matter as they preferred hovering above the ground as opposed to walking.

After a few minutes, the travelers were tossed into a semitransparent, hollow, yellow hemisphere which closed up when they were placed inside.

Proto Man got up and started tapping on the edge of the sphere. "Well, this sucks. There is some good in all this, though. I'd say there's about a 100 guarantee that this sphere was programmed in here, not uploaded. All we have to do is wait here for about five more minutes."

Jon too got up and started looking around. "Hey, there's another sphere thing over there. Maybe that's where all of the fighters are being kept."

The robot searched the inside of the sphere. "Hey, I just noticed, Toad's been gone since Crazy Hand's last e-mail."

Suddenly, outside of the sphere, a loud, disgusting voice spoke. "I'm glad to see you finally got here, butt-munchers!"

"Toad, is that you?" asked Blues. It was quite difficult to turn around in a sphere with another guy so it took a few seconds to find the speaker. Eventually, both Blues and Jon came face to face with a short fat kid with a blond mullet in a stereotypical evil overlord outfit with an overly large collar. Oh, and he had green skin.

"You don't recognize me, snot-licker! After what all you guys d-"

One of the Starmen teleported to the fat kid's side and whispered something in his ear.

"Oh, right, time travel, didn't happen yet, yadda yadda. Anyway, I think you ball-suckers might as well know who I am before I-"

Jon interrupted him. "You're Pokey, one of the villains from the Earthbound game. At the beginning of the game, you're just Ness's cowardly neighbor, but later, you get corrupted by the power of Giygas and eventually become his second-in-command. Since Giygas was killed at the end of Earthbound, all of his forces must have been left under your control. You used to have normal colored skin, but by the end of the game, Giygas's corruption turned your skin green."

"He's the mastermind behind all this? The supposed second-in-command of the intergalactic conquerer Giygas, who happens to be a short fat kid? No offense, but you look too stupid to control an army like that," said Proto Man.

"Hey, no butt-farter interrupts and insults Evil Overlord Pokey and gets away with it! I'm gonna kill all of-"

The Starman whispered to Pokey again.

"Oh, right, I was already going to do that. Anyway, I've got this speech all ready for all of the earwax-chompers in Videoland. I'm going to practice it on you guys, m'kay?"

"Uh, well, I never liked speeches..." Jon said.

"Sure, why not," Proto Man responded. He gave Jon a quick nod.

The fat kid pulled out a bunch of notecards. "Ahem. Hello, fart-sniffers! I own you! While you bean-belchers were doing all this past-y stuff, Evil Overlord Pokey here has been building a time machine in the future to come back to the time before the Third Coming of Giygas! In case you beef-tossers don't realize what's going to happen a few years in the future, Giygas would have returned for the third time-"

Inside the sphere cage, Proto Man whispered to the Game Master, "Third time?"

"The first time was in the Japan-only game Mother. Earthbound is the second time and is called Mother 2 in Japan. The third time, like he implied, hasn't happened yet," he responded.

"-and Giygas was literally pumping out these soldiers, I mean seriously, you'd think he was a frisky rabbit or something. Then, he decided that he should have control over more than just the wheat-farters on EB-Earth and spread his plans to all of Videoland, and we were kicking the collective butts of everyone, until all of the puke-sucking fighters starting screwing everything up i-"

"Information on the future?" whispered Proto Man. "Should we really be listening? This could cause one of the universe-destroying paradoxes."

"Well, nothing's imploded yet, so there's nothing to worry about, I guess," remarked the Game Master. "Just try not to think about it right now."

"-and Giygas was smashed by those bee-chuggers like that, leaving me here with no troops, just these weed-wacking Starmen Jr. prototypes. I still wanted to take over the world and all, so I used my great intelligence to work all day and night on them for years-"

"Wait, we just missed how we beat Giygas in the future," Jon pointed out silently.

"Let's just stop talking until he finishes," the robot responded.

"-but I could go back in time, kill all of the fighters who helped stop Giygas, who were all coincidently in this tournament except for Captain N and some other guys apparently, taunt all of the barf-eaters in this time with this message, and go back to my time, and live in a world where I rule... oh, and Giygas too. Anyway, I killed all of the poop-tossers by uploading them all onto the Hand Stadium computers and deleting everything, including them, not only killing them, but making it impossible for there to be another tournament, breaking the spirit of Videoland or whatever. Anyway, in conclusion, I rule you, yadda yadda, I'll be going to the altered future now. After I finish my speech, I'll start playing the theme from Back to the Future during the credits for my awesome broadcast, you know, the one with the lyrics and starts with 'Take me away, I don't mind. Just promise me I'll be back in time!', not the big orchestra one. So, what do you think, back-feelers?"

Jon started critiquing. "Well, it's pretty nice, but shouldn't you be a bit more formal?"

"Why should I be nice to all of the past-farters here? They're all past-y and farting and stuff."

"I have a question," stated Blues the red robot. "Why did you go through the trouble of capturing us when you were going to kill us anyway?"

"I was going to videotape all of you whale-bombers slowly being deleted for the world to see and broadcast it after my speech, and it wouldn't work without everyone there."

"Ah, okay, that makes sense. So why were the Starmen trying to kill us in the real world?"

"Well... uhh..." Suddenly, everyone was engulfed by a bright light. "What? Who ordered an uploading!"

"Uploading? It's about time Crazy Hand started!" exclaimed Jones.

"Evil Overlord Pokey!" psychically exclaimed a Starmen. "We're being uploaded to the Smash Ring, and apparently the Main Region army is there waiting!"

"How many Starmen Jr. MKII do we have on this program?" asked Pokey.

"Ten."

"Then when we get there, use Operation Barf Magnet!"

"Operation Barf Magnet, which reads: Start beating up everyone while I run away?"

"Yeah, that one."

After a few more seconds, everyone disappeared from the area, leaving behind everything, including the sphere cages.

-I

-I

"Are they coming in?" asked the army general.

"Yes, any second now," responded Crazy Hand.

Above the Smash Ring, some staticy figures started forming.

"There they are right now. All of the fighters should be the big group on the far edge. The Game Master, Proto Man, and Toad should be that group of three people near the center. Everyone else is the enemy," explained Master Hand.

The general reiterated this information, but added, "You know your targets, men. Ready your weapons."

Surrounding the Smash Ring in the stands were several soldiers of all intelligent species, armed with laser rifles, plasma grenades, energy blasters, Mini Bill guns, and several other weapons. On the ground around the arena were the heavier weapons-space tanks, Bill tanks with Banzai Bill cannons as the main gun and Bullet Bills as support, missile launchers (just in case, it would be a bit counterproductive to fire them with the soldiers around) and more-along with energy sword wielding foot soldiers for some reason. Floating above them were attack helicopters armed with several weapons and robot fighters, including plasma cannons and smart mines that attach to the enemy and blow up.

"Sir, the images are clearing and the targets have been confirmed," stated one of the lower ranking members.

"Fire at my command." The figures above the ring remained staticy for a few more seconds, but they managed to clear. "Fire!"

All of the soldiers fired at the hovering Starmen as the foot soldiers used dash thrusters to jump in and rescue everyone there. Accidentally, one of the troops grabbed Pokey. All of them were carried away from to action out of the stadium and placed outside of police tape surrounding the building. When everyone was outside, the speakers announced, "Please, do not come inside the stadium. While we would appreciate your help normally, most us you are still under effect of Master Hand's drug that weakens you to fight in the tournament and would be more of a hindrance than help. I repeat, please do not come inside the stadium. While we would appreciate your help normally, most us you are still under effect of Master Hand's drug that weakens you to fight in the tournament and would be more of a hindrance than help. Thank you." With that, Pokey started tiptoeing away as he spoke into a wristwatch-phone, "Keep on fighting those guys while I make my daring escape!"

Back in the stadium, most of the first volley hit the Starmen, keeping them in roughly the same place since the shots came from all directions. As the larger weapons reloaded, the soldiers in the stands distracted them with lasers, energy, and Bills. They were hit again, but the aliens recovered more quickly and all ten of them fired psychic attacks at the stands, quickly taking out large groups. The tanks and other ground weapons fired another round at the Starmen, but most of them managed to teleport out of the way and used PSI to attack them, but they stood up to the blasts thanks to increased armor. When the airborne weapons joined in on the assault, two of the aliens were killed, leaving eight. All of the smart mines were ordered to attach to three of the Starmen Jr. MKII and when they did, they quickly blew up, damaging, but not quite killing-they were taken out by another volley of fire. This left only five Starmen.

Because this battle wasn't as interesting as I thought it was going to be, I'll just skip to the aftermath. Basically, the army wins. I should remember that big battle scenes aren't a good thing for a novice writer to include in fan fiction.

-I

-I

Outside of the stadium, Jon and Proto Man discussed what they should do. "So, we learned about the future from the fat kid," the robot stated. "We learned that Giygas the dimensional conquerer will be coming back in the future and that all the fighters here led to his defeat. We also learned that in order to prevent Pokey from coming here and such, we have to destroy all of the Starmen Jr. so he can't upgrade them or capture him. But if we do that, then he can't come back here to give us the information that led us to stop him."

"We could just say that it caused a new dimension to split off at the point where Pokey appeared here," Jon suggested.

"...Oh, well, that's okay then."

After all that, the fighters went back to the hotel room to relax, awaiting the news on what the Hands would do for the tournament now and they all received free coffee as retribution. As it turned out, Toad fell asleep in the Hand Stadium Database, which is why he wasn't with everyone else. He was found when the network and underground areas were searched for any straggling Starmen. Jon, Proto Man, and Toad got free tickets to the next preliminary round. They didn't really appreciate it. Eventually, at seven o'clock that night, the news announced that the Hand Brothers would delay the tournament until February next year, making it the first time the tournament would be done twice in the same year.

The next day, after everyone left, security found Pokey sneaking into the underground area, but he downloaded himself onto the computer before they could stop him, but not before he mooned them. It seemed that his time machine was one of the unknown devices moved to the online database until it was uploaded for further study, but it thankfully only had enough power to return back to the time he came from before it would overload and blow up.

The tournament's missing announcer, Omochao, was found in Sony's Main Region for some odd reason a few days later.

And in case you're wondering, yes, Viewtiful Joe had fun at his comic book convention.

-I

-I

NEXT TIME ON CAPTAIN N: 2005!

"**Instrumental Version Of Captain N 2005 Theme Song"**

"The following episode was supposed to take place on Christmas of 2004, in case you're wondering. Anyway, it's Christmas and stuff happens. I foil a band robbery, Proto Man and Bass meet, Knuckles the Echidna fights soccer moms, and stuff like that. Anyway, that's pretty much all there is to it."

"Be sure to read/watch Captain N Level 5: The Very Late Christmas Special!"

"Pikaburgers taste good."


	9. The Very Late Christmas Special Part 1

It's Christmas Eve in the world of Videoland. In the Main Region, especially, there was a blanket of white snow covering the ground. While all of the children played in the winter landscape, Jon Jones was watching a Christmas special. "Shiny the Kind Sheegoth," to be precise, the story of how Shiny taught everyone in the zoo the true meaning of Christmas. "&Is there even a Jesus in Nintendo&?" thought Jon as he watched it.

"No, but we celebrate it anyway," revealed Toad as he suddenly appeared.

"Great, so now you can read my thoughts?"

"No, you asked me if there was a Jesus here yesterday and I decided to answer now."

"So, is that the only reason you came?"

"Actually, this came for you in the mail from Kirby. It's a coupon for Free Vocal Cord Surgery or something," Toad replied as he pulled the paper out.

"…Free Vocal Cord Surgery?"

"Yup."

"Uh… well… okay, I guess. I'll have to thank him next time we meet… or something," Jon said, accepting the gift.

"Oh, and by the way, do you think you could go get something for me? A toy for my little brother, a video game, actually. Cerebron: The Last Empire, or something."

"I don't know much about Videoland videogames, but isn't that rated M? How old is your brother?"

"10, but don't worry, he can handle it."

"Even if he can, I'm not going to a video game store on Christmas Eve! Do you know how crowded it would be?"

"How do you know it'll be crowded? For all you know, there could be no one there."

"Even if there aren't, why can't you get someone else?"

"Because you're the only person here who doesn't know how amazing crowded stores are now and is gullible enough to think they won't be."

"…Wait, if—"

"Yoink!" Toad yelled as he threw a warp capsule at Jon.

After being sucked into the blue and red whirlpool, the Game Master found himself standing in the snow near a bunch of tall buildings—most likely a city.

OVERWORLD: FAMICOM CITY 

After looking around a bit, Jones starting walking down the street. "&It's a good thing I'm already wearing my street clothes and since I have enough money with me in my GBA, I might as well get the game. I'll just wander around until I find a store with it&," he thought as the wandering commenced.

**Now Loading…..**

**LEVEL FIVE: The Very Late Christmas Special (This was supposed to have been made last year)**

**Because Pikaburgers Taste Good...**

Meanwhile, on RM-Earth, home of Mega Man, in the laboratory of Dr. Light, the Light family was preparing for a Christmas party. "Doctor, are you ready?" asked Rock.

"Almost, all I have to do is put this sign on and… there," the scientist stated as he taped a sign on his suit. It read:

_I am not Santa Claus_

"Are you going to wear that every Christmas?" asked Rock's sister, Roll.

"Yes I am. Ever since that one Christmas where all of those children ganged up on me, asking for presents and running away crying when I didn't have any, I can't take anymore chances."

"Couldn't you trim just your beard a bit?"

Suddenly, a voice screamed out, "NO!" The green robot by the name of Auto jumped out from behind a couch. "The long gray beard of Sant—Tom represents all that is good in this word with its blinding whiteness even though it's gray, and to cut it would be to give in to all that is evil in this world! Even if it means people would confuse him with an inferior being like Dr. Li—Santa Claus, Dr. Lisanta Claus, Dr. Limbs and Claws as his real name is, Tom must not trim his beard!"

"Actually, Auto," started Dr. Light, "I have been getting food stuck in here recently, so I guess I could get it cut a bit."

In reaction to this, Auto let out a Darth Vader-style, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

-I  
-I

Jon looked around the city. "&There're a lot of cloth stores around here. You know, that reminds me, my "action clothes" are just what I've been wearing when I came to Nintendo. Blue T-shirt, blue jeans, and black tennis shoes. Of course, they were upgraded with all of that anti-crap stuff, but it's still not very Game Master-y&." Jon took off his glasses and started cleaning them of the sleeve of his shirt. You forgot he had glasses, didn't you? "&I should at least get a cape or maybe a symbol on my shirt or something. I guess I'll try to see if any of these stores have anything… But then again, I never felt comfortable in cloth stores… I'll decide after I get that game for Toad&."

After wandering around the urban establishment for a while, Jon finally found a game store—Game Venders Unlimited. Unfortunately, there was a huge line outside of it. "&Well crap&," he thought. After a minute of deliberation, the Game Master got in the back of the queue. "&At least they're more organized around here than in Real Life&," he commented in his mind. He pulled out his GBA, as it looked like it would take a while. After a few more minutes, he heard someone yell.

"YO! DUDE! DUDE!" someone called across the street.

Jon looked at the line to see who was being called. To his surprise, only he and the one in front of him were "dudes", everyone else was a middle-aged woman, most likely mothers. Sighing, he turned to face the callers.

"YO! YO! OVER! HERE!" a snifit in a red outfit continued.

"&Oh God no, I thought I wouldn't have to see them again after Monstro Town. You'd think that with so many dimensions with cities of their own, it'd be hard to encounter people you met before&," he thought. "&Should I talk to them&?"

"YO! YO! YO YO YO SHIIIIIIIIIIIII! DUDE, I! JUST ACTED LIKE AN EXTREME! RAPPING YOSHI OR SOMETHING! AWESOME!"

"Wazzup, that's freaking awesome, man!" yelled a paler snifit in black, with several pieces of jewel-encrusted gold, though they were most likely fake. "Let me try! Yo yo yo shiiiiiiiiii!"

"YO YO YO SHIIIIIIIIIIIIII!"

"Yo yo yo shiiiiiiiiii!"

"&It doesn't look like they'll stop unless I go over there&," Jon thought. He turned to the guy in front of him. "Hey, can you save my spot?"

"Sure," he replied.

"Thanks," Jon responded as he walked over to the group of six.

"We've been, like, totally, like calling you for, like, a, like, couple of, like, minutes," explained the snifit in pink.

"YO YO YO SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!" the red snifit continued.

"Red, Black, you can _discontinue_ now," Axem Green in his normal form said, looking towards something when he said the italicized word.

"OH! RIGHT! ANYWAY, DUDE, HOW'RE YOU! DOING!"

"I'm fine, but just because this medal says we're allies doesn't mean you can call me from across the street," Jon said.

"That's alright wi' us, man," said Black.

Jones looked in the shadows at the sixth member of the group, who was in blue and listening to an MP3 player. "Who's he?"

"Him? That's just Blue, our _neoteric_ member of the Axem Rangers Assassination Force. Don't worry about him, he's harmless," explained Green.

Out of nowhere, Blue cut both of his wrists and screamed.

"He's a _modicum_ angsty, though."

"o0 Uh, okay… So… uh… is there any other reason you called me over?"

"Red, like, wanted to, like, say—" Pink started.

"—WE'RE GETTING THESE TOTALLY! AWESOME WEAPONS THAT ARE! EXACTLY THE SAME! AS THE ONES WE HAVE NOW!" Red yelled.

"But d'er all shiny 'n crap!" Black explained further.

"ROCK ON!"

With that, the two snifits headbutted each other and their heads exploded.

"WTF?" everyone there said.

"Splooge!" Yellow added as a sound effect.

After a few seconds, the smoke cleared, revealing wires, circuitry, and metal in the necks of the two—they were actually robots! The robots then started attacking everyone.

"Stand back, Mr. Jones, we'll handle this!" Green said.

"Uh, sure…" Jon said as he backed away and got back in line.

-I  
-I

Meanwhile, in another subdimension of Nintendo, on an island floating in the skies of Sonic the Hedgehog's world, a humanoid red echidna guarded a large green gem.

It was a cold and cloudy day on the mystical Angel Island, so the area's guardian, Knuckles the Echidna, used the Master Emerald he guarded to raise the island above the clouds. Once the deed was finished, the red echidna walked down the stairs leading away from the altar where the emerald was kept, and waited at the base, guarding its immense powers from any intruders. It was a boring life—in fact, until a couple of years ago, no one even tried to steal it—but it was the reason he was born. Surrounding the altar for the Master Emerald were seven pillars meant for the Chaos Emeralds, but their powers clashed with those of the main gem and left the floating island crashing to Earth. This dilemma was solved when Prower Ind. (owned by boy genius Miles "Tails" Prower) was made a subsidiary of Gadd Ind. and they developed a strange electromagnetic field that shielded the chaos energy the gems gave off at rest, and they were kept in a small compartment in the altar. That meant that Knuckles would be able to watch over all eight of the emeralds at the same time, which was very helpful, with the evil Dr. Eggman Robotnik constantly after them.

"&Speaking of Dr. Robotnik&," the echidna thought as he laid at the base of the steps, "&he hasn't been around for a while&…"

Before he could give more thought to this, Knuckles heard a bubbling sound from the altar. He shot his head around to see the source of the sound: a tall, lanky creature that seemed to be made of water, with insect-like eyes and a visible brain.

"Chaos? What are you doing here?" the dreadlock-wearing echidna asked. The water creature responded with a series of sounds that sounded like drips.

A few years ago, Robotnik broke open the Master Emerald and released Chaos onto the world, claiming he was the god of destruction. While he was, indeed, powerful, it turned out he wasn't a god of destruction, just angry. To this day, Knuckles still hasn't figured out exactly what he is or his purpose. After Sonic calmed the fully powered Perfect Chaos by attacking his brain with his super form, the weakened Chaos 0 returned to the Master Emerald. Since then, he has popped up in times of great danger.

"Is something going to happen soon?" the guardian queried.

"… -drip-… -drip-" the creature answered.

"Station Square? What's going on?"

"-drip-"

"Demonic toy that will enslave everyone at midnight? Well, either way, if its there and not here, it doesn't concern me."

"-drip-… -drip-"

"You need want an action figure for Christmas that can only be found in Station Square? Do water beasts even celebrate Christmas?"

"-drip--drip-"

"Well, since you're asking, I'll go get it. You guard the altar while I'm gone."

"-drip--drip-… -drip-"

"The Chaos Emeralds? You want me to take them with me? Well, okay, whatever you say." The echidna grabbed them out of their compartment and started running toward the edge of the island with superhuman speed. When he got there, he jumped into the air and started gliding along the wind currents toward the mainland. While Knuckles is fast and strong, he isn't the smartest person in the world.

-I  
-I

"I found this mark on one of the parts. It seems to be the word "Doctor" with a figure of what appears to be a person with a very large afro," Green stated as he looked through the remains of the Red and Black bots.

"Like, what could that, like, totally mean?" asked Pink. The rampaging robots, of course, drew a crowd, but they quickly dispersed once the action was over. As it turned out, Red and Black were still in the bathroom and they came back soon afterwards. After picking up the parts, the Axem Rangers, too, started walking away from the area, leaving only the video game store and its long queue. Why was there a line to a store that was already open? From what Jon heard from the people in the line, the shop's owner was only letting in 20 people at a time to prevent crowding.

"&Damn me and my willingness to do things for people&," thought the Game Master. He soon noticed it was getting dark. "&I'm getting kind of hungry. Maybe I'll go get dinner.&." Jon quickly yelled to the Axem Rangers, who were still in yelling range. "Hey, can you do me a favor!"

Suddenly, the six rangers started running back. "YEAH! WHAT IS IT!" yelled Red.

"Could you save my spot in line?"

"What, you gonna do a girl, Game Mizzasta?" asked Black, trying to act ghetto.

"Actually, I was just going to get a sandwich and maybe an apple pie."

"SANDWICH AND PIE! OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH! VERY NICE innuendo my FRIEND! VERY NICE!"

"… Just save my space, okay?"

"NO! PROBLEMO!"

They just stood there.

"…Well, do it!" Unknown to Jon, the Ally Medal glowed in response to this.

Thus, Jon Jones set off on his long journey for food. He managed to find a restaurant a block from the store and next to a bank—McMickey's to be precise. As Jon neared the place of cheap, unhealthy but tasty food, he heard people screaming from the bank.

"&Screaming? But what now? Get food, or help the people in the bank? Food… bank… Gah, I can't believe I'm thinking this&," he thought to himself as decided that he could wait for dinner and ran into the bank.

As soon as he got in, three guns were pointed toward his head. "Hey, you, get on the floor with your arms spread!" ordered one of the gunmen, a koopa troopa with a red and orange cloth covering his mouth and sunglasses over his eyes.

Yelping, the Game Master immediately obeyed and dropped to the floor. Two of the gunmen turned to the rest of the people while the third kept his eyes on Jon and the door. "&Well, this sucks. What was I thinking? …Wait, what am I doing now? I'm the Game Master&!" With that thought, he quickly reached into his pockets and pressed the PAUSE button of his controller.

"Put your arms flat on the ground, ---wipe!" the gunman, a waddle dee, ordered. Right as Jones did, time froze and he quickly walked out of the weapon's path to the bank's entrance, where he had a clear view of all three robbers, and he unpaused with his Light Gun drawn.

During this time, he thought of the perfect thing to say in response. "No, _you_ put your hands up. I am Jon Jones, Game Master. If you don't, I'll shoot! Everyone else, leave." While Jon kept his gun aimed on the three criminals, they dropped their guns and put their hands in the air as the captives ran out of the bank. "Okay, the police will be here soon, so don't try anything."

At that point, the first robber, the koopa, dropped a red and white orb from its shell along his left leg and kicked it toward Jon. As it erupted in light, the robbers quickly took the chance to grab their guns and take cover behind a stall, as the Game Master was still blocking the exit. When the light returned to normal, in front of the orb was a large dark-red lizard with sharp claws, a crest, and a long tail with its tip on fire, standing on its hind legs at a height of about 3 feet.

**Robber B sent out his Charmeleon!**

"Charmeleon, use Metal Claw on Captain N, here!" ordered the koopa.

"Char," the pokémon replied as its already nasty-looking claws transformed into longer metal sickles and started clawing at the Game Master, but Jon managed to wave dash backwards, barely avoiding the attack, and shot a series of A-blasts at the red lizard. Charmeleon was hit and jumped away from the area when the attack ended, his claws transforming back to normal afterwards.

"Use Ember until you run out!"

The pokémon followed its orders, firing a series of 25 small, explosive balls of flames toward the Real Worlder, saying one syllable of his name for every shot fired. Jon managed to dodge and block most of the blasts, but two managed to hit him.

Between the events at the Hand Stadium and now, Jon discovered that he could not only put up a shield around him, but he also had a barrier permanently surrounding his body that seemed to have developed after his Region Sickness was cured (I swear, this is the last power-up of Jon himself for a while). This was very convenient, since, as he discovered, items that raised your HP not only tasted horrible, but they barely had any effect, usually only raising HP by 1. Unfortunately, this permashield as he called it was even weaker than his normal barriers, so another Ember attack would have surely taken it down.

"Charmeleon, use Flamethrower!"

"&Flamethrower? If this is the right game, that means the charmeleon is only one or two levels away from a charizard. I hope it doesn't evolve in the middle of this battle like that one episode of the animé where Ash fights Sabrina, one of the few good episodes&," Jon thought.

The lizard reeled its head back and thrust it forward as a powerful flame shot out of its mouth. Due to its size and speed, the Game Master had no time to dodge it, so he put up his barrier. The blast seared against the red energy shield with a moderately loud roar and Jon felt hot even with the shield up, but it thankfully didn't break under the pressure, though it was weakened.

"Use Iron Tail!"

The tail of the pokémon enlarged and turned into metal as it charged toward Captain N, and as it came close enough, it spun in the air, and swung his tail into the ground where his opponent was, but Jon managed to jump up and air-dodge the attack.

"&Iron Tail? That isn't one of the moves a charmeleon learns normally. He must have used TM 23&," he thought as he fired a B-Blast while in the air. The blast hit its target and sent the lizard flying a couple of feet onto its back.

Suddenly, when it got back up, the flame on the lizard's tail shifted from orange to a bright blue as it screamed, "CHAAARRRR!"

"You're going down now, Game Master!" the robber taunted. "All of Charmeleon's flame attacks are even stronger, so Charmeleon, use Flamethrower!"

The red creature forced a ray of flames out of his mouth toward the nerd, now blue, but by now Jon had figured out the timing of the attack and successfully wavedashed out of the way. He then wavedashed toward the lizard and, with his gun in his hand, he punched and pressed the A button at the same time for a forward smash attack that knocked the pokémon back a few feet.

"Metal Combo now!"

"&Combo&?"

As the red crested lizard was sent back, it formed a Metal Claw on its feet, which dug into the ground, and he sprung toward the startled opponent. It then formed a Metal Claw on its hands and reeled both arms back. At this point, Jon dodged to the left and, the charmeleon swung its claws towards him, barely missing. However, the attack forced the lizard to spin in the air, and at just the right moment, he used Iron Tail and struck the Game Master with great force, sending him across the room into a table, causing his permashield to shatter.

"&Crap! He's smarter than I gave him credit for&," Jon thought.

"Hey, why can't we just shoot him now?" asked the Waddle Dee robber.

"Because, Charmeleon gets really pissed if I try to help him beyond giving orders and he'll probably attack us or something," explained the koopa pokémon trainer. "Now, Charmeleon, finish him off with Flamethrower!"

The lizard obeyed its directions and used the flame attack, but Jon managed to roll out of the way and fired a B-Blast. The attack struck and sent him into the air. When he landed, the charmeleon's eyes turned into spirals, signifying a KO.

JON WINS

YOU GOTTEN… $25

The charmeleon turned into light and zipped back to its owner's pokéball, who was still hiding behind the table.

"Damn! That was my only pokémon above level 10!"

"Okay, _now_ let's shoot him!" the waddle dee ordered. They started firing at Jon from behind the stall, but the barrier stopped all of the bullets, though barely.

"----, they aren't working!" cried the third robber, a crocodile-like monster called a kremlin.

At this point, Jon slid a card through his controller and it started glowing. He threw it at the ones behind the stall and it turned into a piano--if you don't remember, this was his first upgrade, gotten in Level 2. The instrument crashed through the furniture and the robbers, and though it was much less deadly than Jon's laser, it wouldn't be painless. Satisfied with his work, the Game Master walked up to them and pressed the START button on the piano, turning it back to the GameCube controller. Suddenly, the koopa robber spun out of the area in his shell and when he was a safe distance away, his body parts popped out.

"&He must have used his shell to block the attack&," thought Captain N as he adjusted his glasses.

The troopa started talking. "Look, after you beat that charmeleon, you and I both know you can kick my ass in a straight fight!"

Jon chuckled. Only half a year ago, he was the school's punching bag.

"However, you should stop to think about something—why haven't the police arrived yet?" Jon looked at him in bewilderment. He was right, the police should have been there by now.

"Let me tell you why, there's this new thing that's been hot on the market called the Egg Skull."

"Egg Skull? That sounds like something of Robotnik's!"

"It is, and some other guy worked with him, though he didn't show up when these were auctioned off. A bunch of them were bought by crime lords and gang leaders and such, and while they aren't as powerful as most of Eggman's mechs, it gets the job done." At this point, the koopa discreetly pressed a button on a small device attached to his shell.

"I get it, you're willing to tell me information on these Egg Skulls if I go easy on you, right?"

"Yeah, and I'll show you how they are firsthand!" As soon as he said that, the wall behind him broke down, sending up dust everywhere.

"… Crap, I fell for one of those action show clichés, didn't I?" commented Jon.

As the dust cleared, Captain N noticed that the mechanical suit, while not quite a giant robot, was still quite large—around Gigantor's size, if you can imagine. The head was in the shape of a skull, with strange frills coming out of the sides and there were three distinct holes in the skull—two for eyes and one for a glass-covered oval mouth where the koopa was clearly visible controlling the machine, which made him wonder about the point of the eyes. Below the skull head was an upside-down trapezoidal body with a stripe going across the center. To the sides of the body were five circles connected together to form two arms. On the end of the left arm, from Jon's view, there was a spiked mace about as large as the Game Master himself. On the right, there was a hexagon with two slightly obtuse angles separating away from the sphere that the polygon was attached to, and with another pair of obtuse angles, the sides turned straight down and they met with a pair of right angles. A large gattling gun was on the bottom of this figure. On the bottom of the body was a rectangular prism the length of the trapezoid's shortest side but only half as wide. On the back of the mech—most of it behind the rectangle, but some behind the trapezoid—there were a pair of missile turrets extending out to the side. Two longer rectangles, extending downward and to the sides, were attached to the rectangle. These longer rectangles themselves each attached to a cube around half Jon's size, and the cubes attached to a wheel twice the Game Master's size. Though he couldn't see it from his point of view, there was a ladder on the back leading up to the control room.

On the right side of the trapazoid's stripe, from Jon's view, there was the egg-shaped emblem Jon expected to see, with a mustache out to the sides, a pair of sunglasses, and a mad grin. What he didn't expect, however, was what was written over the symbol—the words "Dr. W" in bright orange against the gray and black robot.

"&Dr. Wily and Dr. Robotnik teaming up? What all of those fanfiction predicted is coming true&!" Jon thought, missing the point that the fruit of their labor was going to kick his ass.

**Battle... BEGIN!**

The Egg Skull started off by smashing the mace forming its right hand where Jon was, but the Game Master quickly dodged and started shooting at the now-open arm, which was stuck to the ground. In reaction to this, the other arm, housing a gattling gun, started firing at Captain N, but he managed to put his shield up. After a dozen shots or so, however, the shield broke, leaving Jon stunned and defenseless, but the attack knocked him back behind a counter, so the koopa didn't know exactly where he was. To solve this problem, the burglar shifted gears in the Egg Skull and dashed right into the general area Jones was. Luckily, by this time, the Game Master was no longer stunned and wavedashed out of the way, continuing to shoot the mace arm. After a couple of moments, the mace arm fell off the mechanical suit.

"----" the robber said as he turned the suit around and started running away.

"Hey! Come back here!" Jon yelled to no avail. He then paused time and ran after the Egg Skull, which was well down the road now, to Captain N's dismay. As soon as he reached the attack vehicle, the Real Worlder jumped onto the ladder on the back. When he got a good grip, he unpaused. After the initial shock of movement, Jon fired at the gun arm, which the driver didn't seem to notice, but when the arm fell apart due to the attacks, the koopa skidded to a stop. At this point, Jon began firing at the entrance to the control room in the lower back of the skull. Realizing what was going on, the koopa activated an electric field on the surface of the machine, shocking the Game Master and knocking him off. Thankfully, by this point, the permashield had somewhat recovered and lessened the attack, but it broke again afterwards.

"You may think you got rid off all my weapons," the koopa yelled from his seat, "but I still got these!"

Realizing that he was referring to the missile pack, Jon pressed PAUSE and time froze soon after the projectiles left their boxes. Like usual, the Game Master turned the missiles around in their frozen states, causing them to hit the shooter instead of him.

After a bit of time to recover, the burglar stated, "Maybe you can reflect missiles, but you can't with these!" After that, the eyes of the skull glowed and a large green energy shot blasted out of it toward Jon, causing an explosion as it hit the ground. He actually could have reflected that, but he didn't want to waste his Time Points and instead wavedashed out of the way.

By this point, Jon got an idea. He double-jumped into the air, shooting a series of A-Blasts at the skull head, and at the apex, he slid an E-Card through the top of his controller. As soon as he did that, he dropped the transforming device towards the Egg Skull, and it turned into a piano, crashing into the head with enough force to break the casing and shut down the systems, but thankfully not so much as to badly wound the pilot.

JON WINS!

YOU GOTTEN… $32

Right as the Game Master landed, he retrieved his controller and pulled the robber out of the wreck. Soon after that, he called the police and told them about the two robbers at the bank and the one in the street.

"&Strange, the police didn't seem to be that busy. Maybe the robber was lying about all of the other Egg Skulls… But, still, it wouldn't be bad if I made sure, and besides, Wily and Robotnik are obviously up to something, so I could use the Egg Skull to find them&," thought Jon. "&Wait... Wily… Dr. Light! He should be able to find a way to track the other Egg Skulls and find the doctors&!"

With that, Jon quickly pulled out the warp capsule leading back to the castle and activated it. He then walked into the red and blue swirl created by it and disappeared from the street, which was now empty due to the battle.

-I  
-I

"&Hmm, this place looks as good as any&," thought Knuckles as he stopped in front of a toy store in Station Square. Due to its size, it was able to hold a lot of people, and as a result, there was no line, so he just walked in. This proved to be a mistake, as despite the tranquil outside appearance of the store, it was pure pandemonium inside. The aisles were rivers of people and plastic, with boxes and opened toys flying into the air like fish and landing with a splash. The echidna would have run away from this, but he was already sucked into the current. He screamed as he floated down with the flow, but it became merely another part of the deafening roar of the human waterway. From the rapids, he heard a voice strangely like a little girl say, "Mommy, I want this one!" as his dreadlocks were grabbed. "Okay sweetie, let's go!" the mother-like voice responded and Knuckles' direction changed toward the counter and he was shoved into a cart. At that point, an object fell in the echidna's hand out of everything that was flying through the air. It was the action figure Chaos wanted, to his surprise.

"&The toy? I better hold on to this. The people carrying me should bring me out of the store&," he thought, suppressing all of his thoughts about how horrible this situation was. He could have knocked everyone away, but he didn't feel like getting in trouble with the police, especially on Christmas.

Since the cashiers refused to work that Christmas, there were only those self-serve-things where you scan and bag everything yourself. It took a while, but that one parent managed to get to one and started scanning everything, but only after staring at the directions for about a minute. After that, she just bought everything in their cart without looking twice, even the action figure, and she didn't seem to notice that Knuckles wasn't picked up on the register over the noise. Following another minute of trying to fit everything in the bags, the mother and the daughter walked out of the store, where there was actual room. At that point, Knuckles hopped out of the bag he was in, with the action figure in hand, and after thanking them and paying for the action figure, he contacted Sonic.

"I still don't know why Chaos wanted me to bring the emeralds," Knuckles said to himself as he brought them out. When the action figure got close to the emeralds, it started glowing, turning from a sinister black and white to a light blue and yellow. "..Well, that was weird. Well, I better get back to Angel Island."

That ends Knuckles' part in the story.

Author's Note: In case you were wondering, I was originally going to have a parody of the Matrix Reloaded/Revolutions Agent Smith battles with Super Knuckles and an army of Soccer Moms here, but most of the jokes I planned to include were either visual or audio jokes that wouldn't work written down, such as a bunch of pigeons flying by Knux John Woo style and him grabbing the pigeons to use as weapons, so I scratched that idea.

-I  
-I

Meanwhile, on a small hill in the Main Region, centered conveniently near several cities, four robots were playing a game of cards while another watched.

"Hit me," said Bass, and was given a card.

Diskoe gesticulated wildly, and was given a card as a result.

"Ha!" Crystal Man yelled as he set down his cards. In reaction to this, the third player, Guts Man screamed, only to be backhanded by Bass.

"I have a straight! And if my prediction is correct, that's higher than all of yours!"

"Uh, please don't hurt me, but I have a flush…" Guts Man shyly remarked. He slowly reached for the money being bet on, but when he noticed Crystal Man's twitch, he screamed and started running down the green hill with several loud clanks, soon disappearing into the night.

The remaining four robots—Crystal Man, Bass, Diskoe, and Treble—waited for a couple of minutes.

"…Yeah… I don't think he's coming back this time," the psychic robot commented.

Diskoe beeped and gesticulated.

Bass shrugged. "Nah, I don't feel like it. He's always been too big of a baby, maybe a week or so alone will do some good."

The gem on top of Crystal Man's head gleamed. Crystal Man was around the size of the average human, and like most other robot masters, a thick pair of armor, turquoise in his case, surrounded his calves and were supported by large, but flat, shoes/feet that were white for him. On his knees were a pair of small crystal balls, and his upper legs were pretty much black bars that connected to his upper body. Most of his upper body was encased in turquoise armor, but there was a red strip going across his belly, and above that, there was a crystal ball about twice as large as the ones on his knees, with similarly sized ones at the tips of his shoulder. His arms, like his legs, were black bars, but before the white gloves that ended them, each arm had two more crystal balls. Most of Crystal Man's head was incased in the turquoise armor, except his mouth, which had lighter armor, and his red eyes. On his forehead was another large crystal ball, and to the sides of his head were red circles that jutted out. "Hey Bass, Wily's about to call! In 3… 2… 1."

Nothing happened.

"Your predictions suck ass, Crystal."

"No, just give it some time! 3… 2… 1!"

Treble the robot wolf started beeping.

"Bam! My predictions may be a couple of seconds too early, but they're accurate!"

Sighing, Bass went up to his robot pet and pressed a button on his back, revealing a television screen with speakers, volume control, and a headphone jack. On the screen was Bass's, and most of the other robot masters', creator, Dr. Albert Wily. "Bass, what are you doing? I just learned that one of our Egg Skulls has been destroyed a few minutes ago, and you aren't even at the wreck yet! Why aren't you wearing your ES Radar Device?"

"That thing looks stupid as hell! I'm not going to wear it!"

"What are you talking about? It's like an awesome colored eye patch! All you kids these days wear eye patches, right? The whole pirate look?"

"Why do I have to do anything anyway? Is it my fault the guy didn't send an error report for analysis?"

"Just do it!"

Sighing, Bass pulled a device out of one of Treble's compartments—a power-level scanner from Dragon Ball Z, or at least something that looked like it. He put it on, with the green eyepiece covering his right eye. After pressing a button on the main part of the device, which was attached to where his ear would be, the inside of the eyepiece flashed with several numbers and an arrow pointing out the direction of the Egg Skull wreck.

"You know, on second thought this isn't too bad," Bass jokingly said. "You know what, I think I'll go name myself after a vegetable and start working in a planet selling business with Freeze Man, and along the way I'll rebel and become rivals with another vegetable man, kill some guy, and do his girlfriend later. Oh, and maybe I'll make all of my head stick up and have it turn gold whenever I'm having a hard time on the toilet!"

"… That was a reference to something, wasn't it?" asked Wily.

"…Yeah, Dragon Ball Z, the crappy show you stole this design from. You know, with big sweaty guys screaming for 20 episodes at a time."

"I've never heard of this… Dragon Ballz or whatever, but it sounds interesting. I'll be sure to watch it. Either way, you need to get to work."

"Jeez, fine," Bass finally ended the conversation by turning off the screen on Treble, which was then retracted back into his body.

The black-armored robot master with fish fins on his helmet turned to his two remaining partners. "Well, we have to go to the wreck, but let's finish the game first."

Diskoe gesticulated wildly.

"Don't worry, if my prediction is correct, there's going to be a fourth player in 10.. 9.. 8…" Crystal Man started.

At that point, a man in red and gray, with a yellow scarf and black sunglasses, walked past the hill while whistling.

"Dammit, I was late this time!"

Diskoe beeped rather loudly.

"Who, me?" asked the red-clothed man.

Diskoe moved his arms around like a walnut in a hurricane.

"Fine, I guess. I was planning on going to a Christmas party, but I probably wasn't going to go anyway." The gray figure walked up the hill toward them.

Bass looked at him carefully. "Wait, don't I know you?"

"Aren't you Bass, the guy that's always trying to kill Mega Man?" asked the red guy.

"Yeah, and you're that red guy that's always helping Mega Man, uh, Proto Man, right?"

"Yeah, I am. So anyway, what's the name of the game?"

"Uh, well, Crystal! What's the name of the game?"

Crystal looked at the two. "I don't know. It's some card game I pulled out from the distant future that's almost like poker."

"Okay. I have about 100 coins with me," Proto Man responded.

"That's fine, you can just join the game that's already going on."

Bass and Proto Man sat down and they started playing the future poker.

"So, you're a Light-bot, right?" asked Crystal Man.

"Yeah," the red bomber responded.

"But you're cool, right?" queried the black robot. "I mean, judging from your sunglasses, you don't have a stupid face and retarded "this world is made of love and peace" catchphrases?"

"No, not really."

"Well, that's good."

-I  
-I

"Dr. Light, can I get look around here before we go to the party!" Rock said in an excited voice. He, Dr. Light, and Roll were standing in front of a comparatively empty toy store in the city.

"Sure, just don't take too long," said the doctor as Roll didn't do anything in particular.

Rock went in and looked around. After a few minutes, a man in a dark trenchcoat and a robber's mask came in and held a gun to the cashier's throat. "All right, give me all of your cash!" One of the other kids in the store threw a The Batman toy at the robber, hitting him in the back. Angry, the robber leaped behind the counter, grabbed the cashier by the throat, and pointed the gun at the kids. "If another one of you does that--"

"Hey! Give me back my The Batman toy!" the kid yelled, apparently forgetting that he threw it.

"Yeah! BRING ON THE BATMAN!" another kid screamed. The other kids cheered in agreement, repeating the "Bring on the Batman!" line occasionally.

"SHUT THE ---- UP! Batman the Animated Series beats the crap out it any day! Though to tell the truth, The Batman seems to be improving with each season, and that movie, The Batman vs. Dracula, is actually pretty good, but B:TAS still PWNS IT! " the robber yelled as he aimed his gun. However, right before he could fire, a plasma blast knocked it out of his hand.

"That may be true, but you're still going to jail!" the fully-armored Mega Man said, posing in a true superhero fashion, complete with the cheesy line. He then beat the crap out of the robber and was about to call the police, when...

"Hey look! He's called the Blue Bomber 'cause he's blue!" one of the kids pointed out.

"Blue! Blue! Blue! Blue!" the kids chanted, chasing after the robot. Once he got out, Mega Man teleported away, presumably where he was supposed to meet up with his creator, Doctor Light, leaving the children behind.

-I  
-I

Jon appeared outside of the Main Region's castle, a larger version of Princess Peach's without the stain glass window, where the sky was pitch black, except for the star-warps littering the sky and the several lights shining from the building. The Game Master ran past the gardens and the bridge into the door, where he found someone waiting.

"So, did you get the game?" asked Toad and he stood in the middle of the main hall.

Jon raised an eyebrow as if he didn't know what he was talking about, but then remembered. "Oh, right, that. I'm having someone else get it for me, because there's something important I have to do. So, I don't have it right now."

"WRONG ANSWER!" As Toad said that, he pulled out his bazooka and threw it into the air.

"I Ran" by either A Flock of Seagulls or Bowling for Soup, your choice, starting from the "and I ran" part

As the gray bazooka spun in the air, various pieces of white armor flew onto it, and when the metamorphosis was complete, the image of a white tiger appeared behind it. It then fell back into Toad's hands.

**End "I Ran"**

Captain N looked at the new bazooka. "…So, is there… anything different about it?"

"Not really," replied the mushroom. "It just has +1 speed and –1 power, which isn't much of a difference."

"Oh, okay then." Jon would have reasoned with him about this, but that hasn't worked before.

Just as Toad was about to fire and Jon was about to dodge, a screeching voice halted them.

"Toad! Honey! You have to get ready for the Christmas party!" yelled the window-breaking voice.

Toad turned towards the voice. "In a minute Mom!"

"Are you bothering the caterers again!"

"I said in a minute!"

"You are, aren't you!" Following that, some thuds started coming from the nearby staircase. "I swear, I'm going to have a heart attack, if you keep getting in trouble!" At this point, a toad around Toad's size, except older and with pink spots, came walking down the hall.

"No, Mom, please don't!"

Toad's mother then grabbed Toad by the eyelashes and dragged him down the hall. "I swear! Why can't you act like a normal toad! Why haven't you gotten married!"

Jon started walking along with them. "Uh… Hey, Toad, do you happen to know where the warp capsule to Tokio, Texas is?"

"The one is Region SI?" Toad said out of pain. "There isn't a warp there, it's too small a city."

"But isn't Dr. Light an important scientist?"

"Of course, but get with the times! Everyone uses phones!"

"Why, can't you just teleport everywhere?"

Toad gave him a strange look. "I thought you knew that was just us and a couple of other people—those pocket warps can't exactly be mass produced. Everyone else uses warpports to travel between regions. Also because the pocket warps aren't easy to make, they are just linked to important areas, and that doesn't include Tokio, TX. The warps leading to other parts of the castle were just made last year. If you want to contact Dr. Light, just call him."

"Where can I find his phone number?"

"Just run the phone number program on any of the computers here and use a phonvision."

"Okay, thanks." Following that, Jon left.

"… What?" asked Toad's mom.

Jon went to his room and jacked onto the Castle's network.

The sky in this computer network was black with the GameCube symbols flying everywhere, and the ground was red with orange borders a few inches from the edge. The Game Master tapped in front of him to create an options screen, with a keyboard, in mid air and he pressed the, "Applications" tab at the top to find a list of all applications he had access to in the area, grouped into folders, of course. He managed to find the phone book program Toad told him about and activated it.

Jon inserted the needed data into the new window.

Search by name:

Search by region:

Region: SI

Planet: Earth

Country: United States

State: Texas

County:

Jon was stuck on the county part, so he looked through the choices until one caught his eye, the Right County. "&… Might as well&."

County: Right

Jon pressed ENTER, and was presented with a large amount of phone numbers. Because of the town's small size, he quickly found the man he was looking for. "Dr. Light, Thomas. 555-9614. Bingo."

The Game Master dialed the number into the nearby phonvision (visual phone) and was answered. "Hello, this is the residence of Dr. Thomas Light. I'm sorry to disappoint you, but we will be out this Christmas Eve. We'll be at 8753 Palmer Rd, Tokio, TX. If it's very important, call at 555-8190."

Captain N called that number and asked the one answering to get Dr. Light. The scientist answered and Jon explained the situation to him.

"Well, that sounds serious," said Light from the other side of the phonvision. "I'll be there right away." He hung up.

-I

NEXT TIME ON CAPTAIN N: 2004!

**"Instrumental Version Captain N 2004 Theme Song"**

"After a brief cutaway to some other characters' Christmas, we'll see what role Bass and the crew play with this, what it has to do with a tophat, and watch as I save Christmas! You'll also find out important things like why I bothered to make a Christmas special when it takes months at a time just to make one part of one chapter.

"Be sure to watch/read Captain N Level 5: The Very Late Christmas Special Part 2: Battle Atop The Egg Carrier! I Must Save Christmas! Sigmasonic X Makes Stupid Animé Episode Titles!"

"Why didn't the Ch. 4 previews get this treatment?"


	10. The Very Late Christmas Special Part 2

**Now Loading…**

**LEVEL FIVE: The Very Late Christmas Special **

**Because the ending is a bit rushed…**

Part 2: Battle Atop The Egg Carrier! I Must Save Christmas! Sigmasonic X Makes Stupid Animé Episode Titles!

On the hill outside of the settlement known only as Famicom City, four robots continued to play cards while the fifth watched.

"Well, I fold," said Crystal Man.

"Same here," added Proto Man.

Diskoe beeped in victory and placed the money inside Guts Man's now-empty pokéball.

"That shouldn't have happened," commented Crystal Man.

Bass spoke, "Like I said before, your predictions suck."

There was a pause, until Blues said something. "So… what do we do now? Disco has all our money."

Diskoe beeped.

"Diskoe, sorry."

Diskoe beeped 2x 65x2-15 times.

Bass answered. "Nah, let's not. Wily should have known that he doesn't need those Egg Skulls to kill Mega Man and all his friends when he has me."

Proto Man coughed.

"What? It's not like I'm doing that _now_. Anyway, maybe we should… destroy a building or something."

"An abandoned building," added the Light-bot.

"Okay, fine, whatever. So, you know any?"

-I

-I

Meanwhile, on The Great Fox, the main ship of Star Fox…

The crew sat on the main deck. "So, what do you want to do for Christmas?" asked Fox McCloud out of boredom.

"Maybe we can set off some fireworks?" suggested Falco.

They decided not to.

Slippy put in his thoughts. "Maybe we can donate toys to orphans!"

"We're an elite strike force, Slippy, not a charity!" pointed out Falco.

"Besides, we don't have any toys anyway," added Fox.

Slippy made another suggestion. "Well, maybe we can watch a Christmas Special like 'Christman'!"

"Shut up Slippy!" Falco yelled.

Slippy got up. "That's it! You treat me like dirt; you made up new pronouns to describe me; you're always yelling at me; and you didn't let me have that last taco! Now, you're going to pay!" The frog then lunged at the bird.

"Megas XLR Normal Battle Theme" 

Fox got up. "Slippy! Calm down!"

Peppy the old rabbit then added some advice. "Falco, do a barrel roll and get out of there!"

End "Megas XLR Normal Battle Theme" 

-I

-I

Meanwhile, in the world of Dreamland, Kirby slept peacefully in his house after the _crazy_ adventure he just had saving Christmas from The Dark Matter.

-I

-I

Meanwhile, in the Mushroom Kingdom, Mario and Luigi had a large Christmas dinner at Peach's castle. Seriously, does every character have to be on some grand adventure during the events of this story?

-I

-I

At the castle where Toad is having his Christmas party, unknown to King Game and Watch or any of the competent officials there…

"Mom! Did you finish the peanut butter and jelly sandwiches yet? The Tupperware fight is about to start!" yelled Toad from across the castle.

At this point, a smaller toad that looked similar to him walked past. "Don't worry bro, I _WILL_ get you that game!" Toad announced.

"…What game?" Toad's brother asked.

"You know, Cerebron: The Last Empire!"

"When did I say I wanted that?"

"Well everyone else wants it!"

"Well everyone else is an idiot, that game sucks!"

"…You want that game, and that's what you're gonna get!"

-I

-I

In Famicom City, at the Egg Skull's wreck…

Inside police lines, Jon Jones sat on a bench, half of it destroyed by one of the missiles but still stable, playing on his GBA when he heard a soft whirring. When it got louder after a couple of seconds, he looked up to see Dr. Light coming toward him on Rush and switched off his game system as a result.

The doctor landed on the ground near the Game Master as he got out of the bench. While Rush lied down to rest, Dr. Light looked toward the remains of the Egg Skull. "So I assume this is what I am to analyze?"

"Well, I wouldn't say analyze," commented Jon, "I'd just like you to see if there was any way to track the other Egg Skulls using the devices in this one."

"Well, if the machines communicate with each other, receive orders from a single point, or send messages to a single point, then yes, I should be able to help you track them," the doctor replied. "So, where is the pilot?"

"He and the other robbers were picked up by the police. They didn't receive any major wounds, so they are currently being held in jail until their trial. The police already got everything they needed from here, which is why only I'm here. By the way, how did you get here so quickly?"

"Simple, I just used Rush to go to the warpport closest to Tokio, and using my special VIP card, I got instant access to a warp. I came to the Main Region Warpport and used Rush to fly here. That's why he's trying to reserve energy right now until his generators can produce more," he said pointing to the robot dog that was apparently sleeping. After a brief pause, the doctor spoke again. "I suppose I better see if it is possible to track to robots now." With that, he walked to the robot's cockpit, the entrance now easily accessible with the robotic armor now lying on its side, and looked around the controls. "Yes, I see…"

"So, can you do it?" asked Captain N.

"Yes… I think I can. Even so, it will take about an hour or so to make a tracker, so its best if you go back to the castle for now."

"Okay, thanks for helping." Jon started walking away. He still had some unfinished business.

LATER…

As Jon came up to Game Venders Unlimited, he noticed that the Axem Rangers were no longer in the line. They must have been in the store. "&Crap, I didn't tell them what game to get&!"

"YO! YO! DUDE!" a voice yelled from the alley. Jon quickly ran to it before it would make the stupid yoshi sounds again.

When Jon came into view, Axem Red started talking. "YO DUDE! WE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT GAME TO GET! SO! WE JUST GOT YOU THE MOST TOTALLY! AWESOME THING TO EVER GRACE! MANKIND!"

"We got you Cerebron: The Last Empire!" Black added. "Blood, guts, nudity up the wazoo! Only for the greatest of superpimps!"

"AND THAT SUPERPIMP! IS! YOU!"

Green spoke. "I tried to _indoctrinate_ them not to get it. After all, you don't _intimate_ like the type of person."

"No, it's fine, I'm just getting the game for someone else, and this is just what I was going to get. Thanks for the help." Jon assured.

"NO PROBLEMO! YOU JUST NEED TO! DO SOMETHING FOR US! AND THE BADGES WILL BE CANCLED OUT!"

"My girlfriend, who I love more than anything and is the most beautiful and funny person in the world and would never ever break up with me just broke up with me," said the new ranger, Axem Blue. "I need to cut myself until THE PAIN GOES AWAY!" He then played Linkin Park's "Numb" on his MP3 Player and started cutting his wrists. Jon could just imagine the eye shadow he was wearing under his mask.

Black attempted to pimp-slap Blue but the attack failed

With that last sentence, all six rangers teleported away.

Jon looked at them. "&Wait… the badges will be canceled out? What could… oh ----&." Jon suddenly remembered something about the description of the Ally Medals and looked in his GBA to confirm it.

x1 Ally Medals. Proof that you are allies of (the Axem Rangers). When used at least 24 hours after first given, the other group must do what you say. One use. You used yours. The Axem Rangers still have theirs.

"&… Well crud, it's a mind control device. And I just used my use to get them hold my place in line. I suppose I could assume my subconscious thoughts are also what caused them to get Cerebron, and that since Green was the only smart one he was unaffected by them… and that's also probably why they were acting so nice to me… but either way, I just used a mind control device to get a game that isn't even supposed to be that good… Well, I suppose I can't fix that now&." Jon tossed down the warp to the castle and teleported there.

-I

-I

Meanwhile, in Famicom City's outskirts…

"Well, here we are," announced Crystal Man as he and the other four robots to an area filled with abandoned warehouses. "I told you my intuition would bring us here!"

Bass looked at the buildings. "I have to admit, Crystal, you did some good for once. Well, let's get started." He, Proto Man, Crystal Man, Diskoe, and Treble went up to the door to the closest warehouse and opened the door to find someone inside.

"Hey! This is the property of Team Metallix! You better leave!" said the guard, a Joker from the Viewtiful Joe games. Soon after he said that, crashing sounds could be heard from within the building.

"Looks like they're already destroying the place," commented Blues.

Crystal Man's gem gleamed. "… Or perhaps they are bowling…"

Bass then slapped him with the back of his hand. "Shut up Crystal!"

Diskoe beeped.

The guard answered. "The building down there isn't taken. You can use that."

The former Poké Man buzzed.

"You're welcome."

Proto Man looked at the vacant building as they walked away. "What do you know? It's two stories! Twice the destruction!"

They soon came up to the door. Crystal Man's gem gleamed. "You know, I think I'll sit this one out. I just realized that my attacks just shatter and bounce off inanimate objects. It's a shame though; my predictions tell me that this will be a good rampage."

"Whatever. Diskoe, Treble, you coming?" asked Bass. The two other robots followed Bass and Blues into the building. "Okay, remember, just fire at everything until you run out of energy!"

Bass activated his Flame Sword (absorbed from Sword Man, what it does is self-explanatory) and started cutting at the boxes around them, setting them on fire as a side effect. When the flames started to surround him, the not-pronounced-like-fish double jumped out of the ring and started anew in another group of boxes and crates. After a while, the black armored robot ran out of weapon energy for his sword and switched to the Blizzard Blast (first used in Ch. 1, absorbed form Blizzard Man), starting to fire the weapon at the blazes. The fire near the attack-snowflakes somehow froze in place, and Bass continued this until the ground was pined with pointy frozen flames. Following this, he switched to Napalm Bombs (absorbed from Napalm Man, they are fiery bombs) and started spreading them across the ice spikes on the floor, causing all of them to explode and melt.

Diskoe stood in front of a wall and started firing his pokéballs at it like a machine gun, purposely making sure that they didn't open. This didn't have much of an effect on the wall, but I'll be damned if he wasn't having fun.

Treble hopped around the room firing energy blasts at the boxes and machinery of the room from his tail while howling. He eventually found his way to a construction vehicle being kept there and started taking it apart with his teeth.

Meanwhile, on the upper floor, Proto Man spread Poppy Bombs (absorbed form the Poppy Men in Ch. 2) in a large circle on the floor near the wall, which all exploded in sequence. Blues and Bass hooted as the floor of the second story started to fall apart.

Outside, Crystal Man's crystal gleamed. "Oh crap!" he yelled as looked up wildly. "No… nothing? Well, okay then." A few seconds later, a piece of the wall that Proto Man blew up along with the floor flew toward him. Diskoe, hearing his earlier swear, came running outside and saw the rubble coming towards the now oblivious robot master. Thinking quickly, Diskoe pulled out the gem robot's temporary pokéball (until they fully move in with Robotnik (the only two robot masters currently staying in Diskoe are Guts Man and Crystal Man, the former of whom is missing)) and returned Crystal Man, causing him to turn into energy and come flying back into the orb. Following this, Diskoe came running into the building while loudly beeping. Bass, Proto Man, and Treble came up to him.

"Well, what is it?" asked the red robot.

Diskoe beeped and moved his pokéball shaped head around in circles.

"Ah, who cares what happens to him. Let's keep on destroying the building!" ordered Bass.

"Now wait a minute," Blues stopped the fin-headed robot. "If Crystal Man got caught in the crossfire and he wasn't even participating, who knows what else could happen. We should at least do something a bit safer."

"Like what?"

LATER…

On the hill where they previously played cards, Bass, Proto Man, and the re-released Crystal Man lay asleep, while the video screen on Treble played a downloaded rated R movie (they weren't in the mood for NC-17).

Diskoe looked on in annoyance, being one of the few robots there who was still awake, when he heard some beeping coming from Treble. He walked up to the dog robot and pressed a button. The video changed to an image of Dr. Wily.

"Poké Man, is Bass there?" he asked.

Diskoe beeped.

"Diskoe, whatever. Anyway, just get him up here!"

Diskoe walked up to the now-sleeping Bass and removed the control gem on his chest. He then pressed a button on his head and electricity started shooting out of the hole in his chest. Soon, Bass woke up and started to get up normally as he put the gem back in place.

Diskoe beeped.

"So Wily wants to see me?" asked the now-awake robot. "Well tell him to piss off, I'm having too much fun!"

Diskoe beeped.

"Everyone else is asleep? … Okay fine, I guess I might as well talk to him."

Bass walked up to the screen.

"Yeah, what is it?"

"Bass, what do you think you're doing!" the balding mad scientist yelled. "Do you know how long it has been since I assigned you to investigate the fallen Egg Skull!"

"Jeez, why can't you just get Robotnik to send one of his robots?"

"Bass, you know the only robot of his intelligent enough to do this task left is Metal Sonic, with Metal Knuckles and those E-100 robots long gone and Ivo being more of a battle-suit kind of guy, and he's busy keeping an eye on the Egg Carrier's pilots! So only you and the other robot masters can handle this!"

"Then why not let the other robot masters handle this?"

"Because I'm telling you, that's why! Now go before I disconnect you!"

The black armored robot sighed. "Jeez, fine." He turned off the transmission. "Well, let's go Treble, Diskoe."

Diskoe beeped.

"Yeah, I guess we should take Crystal, but just leave Proto Man here."

Diskoe whirred.

"Guts Man? Jeez, I forgot about him. I guess we'll have to pick up that sissy eventually… maybe next week like I said when he left." Bass, realizing that he was still wearing the power level scanner look-alike, the ES Radar Device, pressed the button on the side, causing the eyepiece to flash and point toward the direction of the wreck. "You returned Crystal yet?"

Diskoe sounded like an explosion.

"Good, we're teleporting to the South entrance of Famicom City, where it's closest to the wreck, and we'll just dash from there."

The rounder robot sealed itself inside of a pokéball, which was then picked up by the taller robot. As soon as Treble came near him, Bass surrounded himself in a purple aura and teleported away with the orb, soon followed by his robot pet.

LATER, AT THE CRASH SIGHT…

Bass looked at the wreck, turning to his comrade when he beeped. "The S9 is gone? …----!"

-I

-I

Meanwhile, in Dreamland…

Kirby was sleeping peacefully when suddenly the lights turned on and a large black ball of goop started yelling. In reaction to this, Kirby slowly woke up and started rubbing his eyes. "Huh? What is it, Gooey?" he sleepily said to the blob, with a pair of large eyes, a big mouth, and a long tongue. Miraculously, Kirby seemed to speak more clearly when he was half-asleep, or perhaps this was somehow related to the adventure he just had?

Kirby listened to Gooey's story. "…Whispy turned into a what?"

-I

-I

At the castle, Jon knocked on the door to the room where Toad was having his secret party, only to be answered by the host himself.

"Heeeey, Jon, you get that…" Toad looked around, "…thing?"

"Uh, yeah, I did." Jon brought out the game. Toad grabbed it out of his hands and held it up for the world to see.

"Augh!" Toad yelled for some reason.

"AUGH!" the people in the room yelled in response.

Jon paused for a minute. "…So, is this your own personal cult or something?"

"No, just a bunch of friends. Say, why don't you stay, have a few sugar cookies? The Tupperware fight is about to begin!" Two buttons appeared in front of him—Yes, and No.

"…The Tupperw—?"

"NO TALKING DAMMIT!"

It's been so long that the Game Master almost forgot about that. He pressed the "No" button.

"Why not? These Tupperware fights only have the world's finest!"

Jon Jones sighed. "&It's going to be one of these, huh&?" He pressed the "Yes" button.

"Great, have a seat, take a cookie, it's just about to start!"

The lights turned off and a spotlight shined onto a large table in the middle of the room. On three sides, two people each were standing with plastic containers of food. On the remaining side was a Waddle Dee in black armor carrying a watermelon. Everyone placed their food items on the table, and the black armored one stepped away from the table into the darkness.

"TUPPERWARE FIGHT, BEGIN!" Toad yelled as a bell rang.

One of the participants grabbed a container with some pudding. "Well, we just escaped from the evil monster in light-speed and we have reached the Watermelon!"

A person with apples added, "Dear god! We are detecting incoming fire from all areas!"

Watermelon seeds spat out at the Tupperware.

"It's a trap!" yelled someone with fish.

"We must fight on!" urged the Pudding. "All foods attack the Watermelon with full force! We will avenge the Cookie Dough!"

The people started to open up the Tupperware and started throwing the food inside at the Watermelon.

"Sir, the attacks seem to have no effect on the shields! We must retreat!" advised the Apples.

"No!" replied the Pudding. "We must have faith in Gelatin and Steak! They'll get the shield down!"

Watermelon seeds continued to spit at the foods.

"No! They got me!" screamed Fish.

"Fish!" yelled the Frozen Bubble Gum.

"Don't worry! I'll take them out with a suicide attack!" The person threw the food, container and all, at the Watermelon, knocking it back a bit and causing the bin to fly off the table."

"Fish! No… I won't let anyone else die!" The person speaking poured some lemonade on the gum while screaming hard, turning the pink gum yellow.

"Dear god! Could it be!" yelled the Apples.

"It is!" yelled Pudding. "A Super Lemontastic Gum!"

"Impossible!" pointed out the Fried Rice. "It's only a legend! It can't be real!"

The Super Gum charged at the Watermelon, yelled, and launched a flurry of attacks at the fruit. It knocked back the Watermelon a few inches, but it still proved ineffective.

"Impossible!" stated the Pudding. "We have a Super Lemontastic Gum and we are still ineffective against it!" It seems that once the gum powered up, everyone else stopped attacking and just watched.

"Not for long!" yelled some new food. From out of nowhere, a steak gripping a butcher knife (it was actually a person holding a steak in one hand and a knife in the other) sliced the Watermelon in half, tossed the knife to the floor, and landed on the playing field, followed by a container of gelatin.

"Steak! You son of a b-tch!" yelled Pudding. "You got here just in time! Now Gum, attack now that the shield is down!" The yellow gum reeled back and dashed into the red flesh of the Watermelon halves, knocking both off the table, causing them to splatter on the ground. All of the food items cheered.

"The Food Squad Delta Five was victorious," narrated Toad. "But there was a heavy loss in their hearts. How could they continue without Cookie Dough's sweetness and Fish saying 'It's a trap!' all the time? They won't have much time to reflect, because they will have to face a new enemy soon. But even with the addition of the Super Lemontastic mode for Frozen Gum, will they be victorious? We'll find out next time, in, oh, about thirty minutes."

The lights switched back on and everyone in the room cheered loudly, except for Jon, who just sat there dumbfounded.

"So, what did you think?" asked Toad to Jon Jones.

Jon tried to find the right words. "…Well, the cookies were nice… and the play—"

"Fight."

"Fight… well, it was nice… I guess. I, uh, better be going now." Jon walked out of the door and headed to his room. In there, his thoughts turned to the original point of the room Toad was using for his party. Exactly what was it the castle for? Perhaps he would never know. He checked the clock. "It's only been sixteen minutes. Forty-four minutes to go."

At this point, he heard a beeping sound from his Game Boy Advance, signifying that he had an e-mail. The Game Master pulled the device out. "&An e-mail from Kirby? 'Get here quick'? 'You need to see it for yourself'? … Sure, why not&?"

-I

-I

"The S9 is gone!" Wily yelled.

"Yeah, and it wasn't just wrecked, either. Someone took the whole thing," added Bass. He and the other robots were back at the hill, but Proto Man was now gone.

"See, this wouldn't have happened if you had just gone in the first place!"

"Now see, first of all, the person could have taken it right after he beat it, so I wouldn't have been able to reach it in time no matter what; and second, does one more robot data really matter? What, you two have about twenty data records already!"

Dr. Robotnik appeared on the monitor, via a split screen. "He's right you know, Al. According to my calculations, we have just enough data for the Mega Egg Skull!"

"So that means all that's left is to collate all of the data and find a power source!" Wily noted.

"And I know just the place! We should get this up and running by about 12!"

"So, the next order of business is where should we attack first—M-Earth, home of Sonic, or SI-Earth, home of Dr. Light and Mega Man?"

Bass decided to speak. "Jeez, why don't you guys just attack the Main Region? There shouldn't be any real heroes here besides Captain N, with everyone going home for the holidays."

The two scientists paused. "Of course, attack the Main Region during the holidays! Why didn't we think of that!" Dr. Robotnik exclaimed.

"Because you two are retards," Bass replied.

"Bass, I'll tell you what," started Wily, ignoring what his robot said, "why don't you and the other robot masters have the rest of the day off?"

"What, all three hours of it left?" Bass asked.

"…Okay, if this goes well, you guys can have tomorrow off as well." Wily then hung up, followed by Eggman.

Bass placed the phone back "So, I guess we're going to Metal Knuckles' Bar then to see if we can get drunk?"

Diskoe beeped.

"Oh don't be such a baby! Wily Beer has no requirements other than being a robot!

Diskoe made some strange beeps, like the kinds made when a pokémon is healed in a Pokémon Center.

"Uh, what? I didn't understand that."

Diskoe shot out Crystal Man's pokéball, and he came out completely awake.

"Wily put a healing thing in you? Well, okay then. Hey Crystal, we're getting drunk! You wanna come!"

Crystal Man's forehead gem gleamed. "Well, apparently, in my vision of the future, I'm walking with you guys, so I guess I have to come."

"So, wait, Crystal, what happens when you go against your predictions?" asked Bass.

"I don't know, and I don't want to know." Crystal Man started walking with Bass, Diskoe, and Treble to the outskirts of another part of Famicom City.

In case this wasn't made clear enough earlier, all of the other robot masters are with Wily and Robotnik, but aren't fully moved in yet.

LATER…

The four walked along the street—this part of the city was mostly filled with the semi-intelligent robots (true intelligence hasn't been reached in most places) so they didn't look too conspicuous—when they heard some singing.

Diskoe beeped.

"Its probably just some carolers, just ignore them," stated Bass.

As they walked some more, the voices became clearer. It seemed to be a group of kids and some man. Soon, the carolers came in sight.

Bass started at them. "Is that…?"

"Yes, it is," Crystal Man replied. "A living snowman. Do you think it's from the Mushroom Kingdom?"

"You're the psychic one! How should I know!"

The group of kids surrounding the walking, singing snowman turned on the street the four were on, with the top hat wearing humanoid following. "&Please don't talk to us, please don't talk to us&," Bass's mind pleaded.

When he came up to the group, the snowman spoke, "A Merry Christmas to you fine folks!"

Bass screamed and shot the snowman's head off, causing the top hat to fall onto the ground

The children around him screamed.

"Uh, sorry about that, I haven't been the same since that incident with all of the ice robot masters last Christmas."

Some of the children started saying, "Put the hat back on!"

"Why, what's so important about it?"

Crystal Man picked up the hat on the ground and looked at it. "Ah, I see. It must give him his life."

"Nah, that can't be it!" pointed out Bass.

"No, it's true!" the kids yelled.

"Boom! What did I tell you! Am I good or what!" said the gem-robot.

Diskoe beeped.

"So you're saying this is Frosty the Snowman?" Bass asked Diskoe. "If that's true, I guess we should give it back to the kids."

Diskoe made a sympathetic whir of doom.

"No, I'm not being soft! I'm just saying there's nothing we could do with it!"

At this point, Treble, who was tired of just being a phone during these events, decided to do something by grabbing the hat out of Crystal Man's hands and running away.

"Treble, sit!" Bass yelled as he started running after his dog/wolf, with Diskoe following after.

Crystal Man's gem gleamed. "Guys, I just got a vision! Treble's going to grab the hat out of my hands in… oh, wait, crap!" Crystal Man then started running after them.

-I

-I

In the eternally vibrant Green Greens, Game Master Jon Jones, along with the Hero of Dreamland Kirby, stood in front of the tree Whispy Woods. While he often collaborated with the selfish King DeDeDe's plots, he was usually kind when he wasn't possessed. Typically, he was an apple tree with two holes for eyes, a branch as a nose, and a third hole as a mouth, but there was something different about him.

"He's… a Christmas tree," said Jon.

"Yeah, pine tree," answered Kirby. "Apparently, some kind of monster is causing this, like with the Great Deku during the adventure of the Link you know, and the acidity of the pines are hurting him."

"Oh, yeah, I remember that acid thing from Biology class… So, what do you expect me to do?"

"Whispy says that the monster inside him is tough, so you're here to provide backup, considering how I just defeated the Dark Matter and I'm pretty tired. I called you over here because with your pocketwarps you could get here the quickest."

"Oh, and by the way, is it just me or are you speaking more clearly?"

"Yeah, it turns out the reason I was speaking the way I was when you first met me was because I had this scarf caught on my vocal cord. During one of my battles today, I was hit pretty hard and I ended up coughing it up."

"Huh…"

Whispy Woods started talking. "Well, I'm ready to let you guys in. Are you sure you won't need any more help? Because I have a feeling that this will be very tough!"

"We're fine Whispy, just let us in so we can help you!" exclaimed the pink puffball.

The now-pine-tree opened up his mouth so far that his bottom lip fell to the ground. With this, the two walked in. Immediately they saw the problem—there was a squid-shaped animal with a white body and black tentacles attacked in several places around the tree's inside. Jon shot off the tentacles and Kirby ate the squid, causing him to turn into Squid Kirby. In this form, Kirby flailed about on the ground and was unable to move much, so he got rid of it. It didn't even bother to fight back. With that they walked out.

Right before their eyes, the pine tree shifted back to an apple tree.

"Well, was it as difficult as I told you?" asked the now-cured living plant.

"Well, it was harder than beating Barney's Hide and Go Seek for the Sega Genesis, but considering that you don't even have to find anyone to beat it…" replied Jon. In case you're wondering how I know that, I'm sorry to say it was one of my games back when I was four.

"…Well, okay, maybe I might have exaggerated a bit, but thanks for the help!" Whispy thanked the two.

Jon turned to Kirby. "Do you mind if I go now?"

"No, you can go."

Jon pulled out a warp and traveled back to the Main Castle. He still had twenty-one minutes until the approximate time Dr. Light would be ready. It was time to watch TV while playing a GBA game at the same time.

-I

-I

Meanwhile, on Angel Island, home of Knuckles the Echidna…

It was night and the emerald's guardian had just fallen asleep. However, he woke up when he heard some sounds, and didn't like what he saw.

"Excuse me, Knuckles, but I'll just be borrowing this!" Robotnik said as a large claw dropped from his hovering machine, the Egg Typhoon, and latched onto the Master Emerald. By this point, Chaos had already retreated into it.

"Oh no you don't!" Knuckles yelled as he jumped up and shattered the claw with a single punch, leaving the emerald unharmed.

"So you want to do this the hard way, huh?"

Following this, Eggman flew off the tiny piece of land out of sight. Within a few seconds, however, he reappeared with his normal vehicle in a brand new machine. Below the normal capsule was a pair of small laser blasters, and to the sides were two pairs of large wings. The first pair was large, thin and gray, flapping up and down constantly, while the hind wings were a pair of green rods connected to two large green disks with gray blades protruding, also flapping. Finally, on the back three orbs connected together forming some kind of tail. Each of these orbs had a pair of rocket boosters out to the side.

"Behold! My newest creation, the Egg Dragonfly!" gloated Robotnik. "You won't stand a chance against this one, you stupid echidna!"

"Your machines are nothing compared to me!" Knuckles claimed in response.

Two separate messages appeared—one in front of Robotnik, one in front of Knuckles.

**EGG DRAGONFLY**

**KNUCKLES THE ECHIDNA**

"Egg Hornet Battle Theme from Sonic Adventure (DX)"

Eggman dashed forward in his new machine towards his opponent, firing lasers across the ground, but Knuckles easily dodged them and jumped on top of the altar in order to reach the doctor.

"Get a load of this!" the scientist spouted as the disks on the rear wings detached and spun toward the red humanoid. In order to avoid this, Knuckles jumped off of the altar onto the ground and the disks flew right over him. The Egg Dragonfly started flying around again at high speeds while firing lasers at the echidna, and while it was closer, he still managed to dodge the assault. However, in a twist of fate, the returning disks struck Knuckles in the back, cutting him and sending his light body a few feet away. Seeing an opportunity, Eggman detached to orbs forming the abdomen and they shot out at his opponent. Not thinking clearly, the emeralds' guardian tried to punch one of the homing orbs away from him but instead got electrocuted, again causing him to fly back about a yard. As soon as he got up, he already had to dodge the incoming orbs and laser fire, and when he jumped into the air, he started spinning rapidly and dug into the ground.

"You think you can escape me that way! Well, let's see what you think about th--!" Eggman started, but was interrupted when Knuckles emerged in a large eruption of dirt that buried the still-pursuing orbs. Robotnik growled in anger as the echidna jumped onto the mound, and since the machine could only hover without the orbs to provide thrust, jumped onto the windshield of the Egg Typhoon, cracking the bulletproof glass with every punch. In response, the mad scientist again launched to wing disks toward him, and the emeralds' guardian jumped off right before he was hit. Then, he glided after the disks, which were about to return. He latched onto the flat side of one of them and stuck to the other with his free hand.

"No!" Robotnik yelled as Knuckles threw the disk on his right hand as hard as he could at the main section, badly damaging the cockpit and destroying the lasers. Finally, he jumped off the disk left, which returned to its place on the wing, and smashed his fist into the window, breaking through it and destroying the controls. In reaction to this, all of the Egg Dragonfly attachments fell and exploded, leaving only a badly damaged Egg Typhoon.

**KNUCKLES WINS! YOU GOTTEN… RINGS!**

**End "Egg Hornet Battle Them"**

"Grr, you may have won the battle, but you haven't won the war! Got it Quick Man?"

Suddenly, an orange blur ran past Knuckles towards Robotnik. The blur stopped, revealing a human-like robot in red, with yellow boomerang insignias on his knees, elbows, chest, and forehead. "I got it, Dr. Robotnik," he said. He was holding the compartment in which the Chaos Emeralds were kept.

"The Chaos Emeralds! You must have gotten them while I was fighting! Why you…!" Knuckles exclaimed in anger as he ran toward the two.

"Quick, let's get out of here!" both Robotnik's machine and Quick Man turned into beams of light that started traveling towards the sky.

Knowing that he would be unable to follow them, Knuckles ran back to the Master Emerald. "Master Emerald, here my plea! You must send the Chaos Emeralds elsewhere, out of the reach of the ones with dark intentions in their heart!"

In response, the emerald glowed with a green aura, which shot out for a mile in radius. In a part of the sky in the distance, space seemed to distort and seven glowing lights shot out from it away from the aura. Also out of the distortion fell Quick Man, who was suddenly pulled out of his teleportation mode and crashed into the Earth below. There was no sign of Robotnik, however.

"I better tell Sonic about this," said Knuckles to himself as he jumped off the island and started gliding.

-I

-I

It was about 9:50 when Dr. Light called Jon, a little more than the hour prediction he had given earlier. "Well, I managed to create the radar for the robots like you requested. I'm currently in a Rush Porta-Lab just down the street from the wreck, but there's no need to come over here, since I'm mailing you the device via Paratroopa Express. It should reach the castle within a couple of minutes, due to its proximity."

The doorbell rang from downstairs and Toad could be heard yelling, "Jones, it's for you! Get down here and pay before I shove it up your wang!"

"Or it could arrive now," finished Dr. Light.

"Doesn't this place have any security? How could some random mailman just come up to the King's Castle?" asked Jon, mostly to himself.

"Well, actually," the doctor started, "the Castle has some of the latest security systems, mostly scanners and such, but since the radar contains my seal, the systems ignored the item I made. Go down and get the radar and I'll explain how to use it."

Jon headed downstairs with the Dr. Light's image on his GBA and paid for the device, heading outside in order to continue the conversation.

"There's no assembly required, so simply pull it out of the box and put it on, I'll explain the rest from there," Dr. Light said from across the screen.

Jon opened the box and pulled out the Egg Skull Radar, which looked strikingly similar to the one Bass wore. "This looks like something out of Dragonball Z or something," he commented.

"Dragon Ball Z? I've never heard of it. Perhaps I should watch it," said Dr. Light.

"Well, you should probably watch Dragon Ball first. While DBZ has everyone as adults, DB starts out when everyone is a kid."

"Kids, huh? I guess I'll watch that instead. Anyway, as soon as you put it on, press the large button on the side."

Jon did so, and several numbers and arrows appeared on his green eyepiece.

"The arrows you see represent the direction of the Egg Skull, while the number indicates the distance. As you can see, there are quite a bit—seven in this dimension alone, but there are still others in other worlds. The number in each can be found by pressing the smaller button below the larger one, and pressing it again will make it switch back to this view. Pressing the large button again will turn it off, of course. From what I've seen, there are a total of fourteen Egg Skulls across the dimensions, so be careful. Well, then, I better get back to the Christmas party. Good luck beating these new Egg Skulls, but I'm having a bad feeling about this. It would probably be for the best if you took someone with you."

"I'll do that, thanks. Could you ask Mega Man to come?"

"Yes, I suppose I could. The Egg Skull Radar has a tracking device, so Rock will just follow that to where you are."

"Thanks for the help." Jon ended the conversation as he turned off his all-purpose-GBA and ceased transmission. Checking the radar again, he noticed something different. "&Hmm, the seven Egg Skulls in this dimension have moved… and they still are. Strange, they all seem to be heading towards one place that way, though I still can't tell the distance it seems pretty far. I should probably go over there to see what's going on, but I need someone to get me over there. Wait… of course&!" With that, Jon headed back inside and used a warp to go to Famicom City.

-I

-I

Bass, Treble, Diskoe, and Crystal Man beamed onto the Egg Carrier's deck and walked into one of the nearby corridors to be greeted by another robot master. "Back already?" asked Wind Man. "You usually come back much later than this."

"Well what can I say, we got bored, and we got really tired from chasing Treble everywhere," responded Bass as he walked past the brown robot. The body was large and circular, with the chest area green. For some reason, the robot appeared to have brown nipples. The arms and legs were black, with the right arm ending in a white hand and the left ending in an energy blaster similar to Mega Man's. On top of his head was a propeller that allowed him to fly into the air, and on his shoulders were two large fans.

"Well, you managed to make it just in time! The oil leftovers from the Christmas dinner I made are still warm!"

"Seriously, Wind, Wily didn't reactivate your weapons so you could cook oil!"

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean I can't."

"Besides, with my Bassnium power source I don't need to eat or sleep in order to recharge like you guys!"

Crystal Man spoke up. "Well, either way, me and Diskoe still need to eat. Does Treble need to eat, too, Bass? Wait, the answer's coming to me… no."

"Actually, he does," responded the black-armored robot. Crystal Man made a grunt of disappointment in response. "By the way, that reminds me, you've had your weapons on this entire time, right?"

"Say, you're right. Considering what time it was when we left and what time it is now… I only have 30 minutes of charge left!"

"Relax, just turn off your weapons and you'll have about four hours left," assured Bass.

"And once that retard Eggman finally finds a way to power robot masters with animals, your battery won't just last one day without weapons and three hours with," added Wind Man.

"Wait, so then we won't have to stay in those little rooms in order to stay charged while waiting for Mega Man?" asked Crystal Man.

"I doubt it'll happen anytime soon so don't get your hopes up. Besides, shouldn't you have known that? You're supposed to be a psychic for god's sake! Then again, the only things Wily got right were Treble and I."

Diskoe beeped.

"Sorry to say, but you'd be any competent scientist's reject. And besides, you remember how messed up you were when Wily first created you! And frankly, I doubt this Eggman guy is any better!"

At that point, Dr. Robotnik walked through the door grumbling. Not only had he failed, but also he had to travel to a secret warp point in order to return to the Main Region and had to teleport again to reach the ship.

"Speak of the devil. So Robotnik, you managed to get those Chaos Emeralds of yours?"

Eggman grumbled louder.

"Didn't get it, huh? What happened, did the little echidna lay eggs in your hole?"

The fat man ignored this insult. "I almost got them, but he used the Master Emerald to repel them away, sending Quick Man to his death!" Robotnik yelled. "I'll get that rat if it's the last thing I do!"

"Meh, Quick Man was just a delirious crack addict anyway. He probably would have run off a cliff even if the furry didn't kill him. The point is, now you won't be able to finish that Mega Egg Skull thingy, and Wily's bound to get pissed. But then again, I doubt he even expected you to succeed."

"Why you insolent brat!" Eggman pressed a button, causing his Egg Walker machine to walk through the door, and he then jumped in.

"Don't do it, Lord Robotnik!" exclaimed Wind Man. "He's just trying to get a rise out of you!"

"Bah, neither this guy or Wily deserves to be called Lord of anything, except maybe the Lord of Asswipes! And besides, even if I was trying to get a rise out of him, I doubt any of us would notice it!"

"Why you!" after saying this, Eggman activated the weapons on his machine.

"Yeah, let's do this!" Bass then placed the top hat in his hand onto a cloths rack, causing it to suddenly come to life.

The cloths rack, slowly twisted around. "Hey, what am I doing here? Where is everyone?" Bass then quickly pulled the hat off.

"Jeez, I keep on forgetting to keep the hat collapsed," Bass said as he collapsed the top hat and placed it on a nearby table.

Eggman looked at the hat. "What is that?"

Bass looked back at it. "That? That's Frosty the Snowman's magic hat or something. It brings any object it's placed on to life."

"Oh really… can I have it?"

"What? Oh, sure, whatever, it's retarded anyway."

"Thank you," Eggman said as he got out of his machine, grabbed the hat, and ran away.

"Hey, you b-stard! What about the fight!" Bass watched the scientist run away. "…Jeez, for a fat guy, he's really fast."

Diskoe beeped.

"Oh, right, that. Get me the microphone!"

Diskoe beeped in correction.

"Whatever! Just get it!" Bass got it soon after and spoke into the intercom. "Attention all robot masters and whatever Eggman calls you guys, uh, badniks! Wily has given us a break for the rest of today and maybe tomorrow! You know what to do!"

With that, the sounds of several robot masters teleporting and flying away could be heard around the ship. Apparently the only intelligent badnik left, Metal Sonic, didn't want to leave.

"So, you're coming Wind Man?" asked Bass.

"Nah, I better stay here to guard the ship and, y'know, cook," replied Wind Man.

"Whatever. How about you, Diskoe?"

Diskoe beeped negative zero times.

"Okay, I guess that just means me and Crystal will go back to Metal Knuckles'."

"Wait, didn't you come back here in the first place because you were bored?" asked Wind Man.

"Well, I'm getting bored here, so I might as well go back down," the black armored robot replied. Following that, Treble and he teleported away from the room.

Crystal Man, however, stayed. "By the way, Wind, before I go, I have a prediction you should probably hear."

-I

-I

"Well, it looks like you were right," stated Mega Man as he and Jon watched the Egg Skulls fly up to a large red carrier ship in the sky, the Egg Carrier. "The Egg Skulls were gathering in one spot. Oh, and sorry I got here so late."

"No, it's okay. I used Rush to get here first, and then Rush had to go back and pick you up. Besides, I called other people to come help and they still haven't gotten here, so you aren't the last."

"Well, either way, Rush is too tired to carry more than two people, and that's with his E-tanks drained, so we'll need to find another way on. I guess we can hijack the last Egg Skull so we can go onboard, but then the other people wouldn't be able to reach the ship."

"Don't worry, they'll be able to. Let's just wait for the last guy."

After a couple of minutes, there were only three Egg Skulls left, flying one at a time up to the hovering Egg Carrier 3.

"Well, the last guy's about to leave, let's attack!" advised Jon.

"Right!" Mega Man said as he fired a Tornado Hold at it, trapping it in a miniature tornado. Suddenly, a figure flew down from the ship and destroyed the device causing the tornado, and the remaining Egg Skull continued flying up.

"It's a good thing I came a few minutes before Crystal Man said," Wind Man said to himself as he turned to his foes. "You two should consider yourselves lucky! You are about to face the wrath of WIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIND MAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!"

"**Robot Master Jingle"**

**End "Robot Master Jingle"**

LATER…

"I don't know, I don't feel comfortable like this," Jon said. He and Mega Man were holding onto Wind Man's arms as he carried them up to the Egg Carrier 3.

"Don't worry, I disabled all of his weapons. If he tries to shake us off, I'll shoot him and then Rush will save us from falling," Mega Man assured.

"Didn't you say Rush couldn't support both of us?"

"Yeah. Anyway, it doesn't matter, we're here."

Wind Man landed on the ship's deck, ignoring the much deadlier, but easier to access Sky Deck.

DUNGEON: EGG CARRIER 3… 

When the two got off, Jon asked, "What should we do with him?"

"Just leave him be, he's no harm."

"By the way, I just realized, couldn't you have teleported here?"

"The teleportation system in robot masters, and me, only allowed you to go to the large warp-hubs found in several of the larger regions, which was why I am unable to just go right to a boss's room. Though, now that I've bothered to scan for one, there's a warp hub on this ship, probably so the robot masters can go on and off here."

They started walking away.

Wind Man was clearly annoyed. When the two ran into one of the doors leading into the ship, he pulled a walkie-talkie out of a side compartment. "Bass! Any other robot master! Can you hear me?"

There was a buzz and someone responded. "Hey, it's Bass. What is it, Wind Man? If you walked to call me, call me on the girl-attracting cell phone, not this retarded thing!"

"Bass, this is bad! Two people have gotten on the ship and disabled my weapons!"

"Ask me if I care! It turns out all of the robot masters were heading down to Metal Knuckles' Bar, so we're trying to see if it's possible to make a robot drunk!"

"Bass, the people are Captain N and M—"

"Who cares! I'm hanging up now!"

"Bass? Bass!"

The walkie-talkie buzzed and then there was silence.

-I

-I

"&Okay, I just have to find the Zone Sealer, that thing Wily used to lock this region last time, and then I have to look to see if they have a device that lets them travel through dimensions, a Warp Generator&," Jon reflected on the orders Mega Man gave him. They had split up to look for different things. Mega Man teleported to the ship's warp-hub and was going to destroy it, then track down the engines and destroy them.

After walking down the hallway, he came to a large room with a bunch of chairs, a big TV, pool tables, and other assorted entertainment devices. "&This must be the lounge. Where is everyone though&?" He looked around, and noticed a round robot master come in the room with a bowl of oil. As soon he noticed Jon, he dropped the bowl and made a bunch of Kung-Fu poses while beeping.

"…Who are you supposed to be?"

The robot with a pokéball head beeped.

"I'm guessing you're one of the new robots Wily and Eggman made."

While posing, the robot beeped the robot master jingle.

READY! 

Jon fired a B-Blast, and the robot fell over. "This is going to be easier than I thought!"

Jon walked up to the felled robot master, when something suddenly shot out at him. "A pokéball?"

There was a bright flash of light and suddenly, Jon found himself in a large, red and white room. He looked around. "&Huh? Where am I&?" He paused. "&Aw crap, I'm in a pokéball, aren't I&?"

Suddenly, in one of the far walls, a compartment opened up and some large black orbs started pouring out and rolled along the walls. Jon pressed START and after a few seconds, time froze. "&What the heck are those things? Wait, I'm in a pokéball, so those must be what prevent the pokémon from breaking out. Since I don't see any real weak point, you probably have to hit the walls until the pokéball automatically releases you, and before those orb things come and reinforce the walls. That means, I should pick this wall farthest from the orbs, and use my Smash attack until—wait, what's that&?"

At this point, Jon noticed a button labeled, "If you are a human or another intelligent being, press this to be released".

"&… Well okay, screw that plan then&," he thought as he unpaused and pressed the button. He now has only 4 time points left.

After a flash of light, Jon found himself back where he was in front of the robot he was facing earlier. At this point, the robot started making beeps of forgiveness and started backing away.

JON WINS! YOU GOTTEN… MAP! 

After looking at the robot for a few more seconds, Jon took a look at the map of the Egg Carrier. The zone locker was the closest, but it was still two floors below. After finding himself looking to see what the robot was watching on TV, he ran out of the door towards the stairs.

-I

-I

"That so? Well, this is Wily, over and out," Wily said into the walkie-talkie.

"Well, what was it?" asked Robotnik as he made some finishing touches on the Mega Egg Skull.

"Apparently, both Mega Man and the Game Master have managed to board the ship. However, the robot masters refuse to help!"

"Ungrateful little cheapskates! Who do they think they are!"

"We'll have to finish the Mega Egg Skull sooner. How close are we?"

"Actually, the only things that aren't done yet are most of the weapons."

"What weapons are installed?"

"Unfortunately, just the machine guns, hand smashers, and floor smashers."

"Just those? Well, I suppose if we fought either one of them by themselves, we'd be able to win. Oh, and Ivo, did you get that Master Emerald thing?"

"Uh, well, about that…"

"… You didn't get it?"

"Unfortunately no, BUT, I did get this!" Eggman pulled out the hat he took from Bass.

"What is that?"

"It's Frosty the snowman's hat or something. It brings inanimate objects to live!"

"Well what are you waiting for! Put it on the head!"

Eggman, already being near the head, simply put it on. The mech started to move.

"Hey, where am I? Hey, you two little people, is it still Christmas Eve?"

Wily looked at his watch. "It won't be in about an hour, but yeah."

The mech put his hands on both Wily and Robotnik's heads. "Well then I wish you both a very wonderful Christmas!"

"…Ivo?" asked Wily.

"Yeah, Al?" Eggman replied.

"Take the hat off."

Robotnik did just that, and the robot was once again dead. "Well, a personality like that won't help… Wait, I have an idea!"

Eggman turned the hat inside out and placed it on the machine.

"GRAHHHH! SMASH! KILL! MAIM THE PUNY HUMANS!" the mech screamed as it waved its arms wildly about, almost knocking over the lift Robotnik was on.

"Ivo! Take the hat off!" yelled Wily.

"CRUSH PUNY HUMAN!" the robot armor yelled as turned to Wily and lifted up its hat. The white-haired mad scientist screamed until Robotnik managed to pull the inside-out hat off the raging machine. The armor was once again lifeless.

Wily dusted himself off. "Well, it would probably be a good idea to put the hat on from a distance." Eggman nodded. "Also, Ivo, we should probably attach a mechanism that will knock the hat off from a distance." Eggman nodded. "Also, before we add more weapons, we paint the inside-out hat black like the outer part, and add two more things…" Eggman nodded, and then once he understood what Wily meant, he started grinning and let out an evil laugh. The other joined in, and they were soon evil laughing together.

Robotnik stopped. "Oh yeah, Al, did you send out a warning to all of the Egg Skull pilots about the intruders?"

"Oh, no, right, I'll do that right now."

-I

-I

"&Well, at least now I'm on the same floor as the Zone Sealer&," thought Jon as he walked through the halls, keeping a close eye out for any guards. It would be easier to just PAUSE, but he only had four time points left. Soon, he heard some talking down the hall.

"So, when are we attacking again?" asked one voice.

"Remember, it's whenever the scientists finish that Mega Egg Skull of theirs, then we'll attack the Presidential Castle!" the other voice said.

Jon reached where they were, a point where the hallway forked, making a T. The people talking were two guards, both in Egg Skulls. Suddenly, an announcement came over the speakers. "Attention, be on the look out for Mega Man and Captain N. They have both managed to board our ship and may be able to hinder the plan. Kill them on sight."

"You know what Captain N looks like?" asked one of the guards in Egg Skulls.

"Yeah, I do. He's basically a—hey, there he is!" The other guard pointed his mech's machine gun right arm at Jon, who had peaked over the wall just a little too much. The Game Master reflexively put up a barrier and blocked the bullets before rolling out of view. "After him!"

The two dashed into the hallway Jon was in. "Hey, where is he?" the first guard asked as he stopped and looked around.

"He can freeze time! He must have actually gone the other way! I'll keep going this way, you go the other way!" The two did just that.

In fact, Jon did not PAUSE at all. He had noticed how limited the machines' visual range was and, by rolling at the right time, he ended up right under them where they couldn't see. When they left, Jon was just standing there. Truth be told, he would have been able to beat the two of them, but he didn't want to waste time. Who knows when the two scientists will finish that "Mega Egg Skull"? He'll have to stop them before they finish it.

Jon continued on his original path.

-I

-I

"There… and done!" said Robotnik as he finished a last adjustment.

"The Mega Egg Skull is complete!" announced Wily.

"For now. You know, now that we finished the adjustments, it really does look like him. Except, you know, we need to color it yellow."

"And give it legs."

"Well, whatever. According to a report from the guards, the Game Master came by hallway A3-4H and they are currently chasing after him."

"That's near the Zone Sealer isn't it?"

"I wouldn't call it near, but it's on the same floor."

"Well, either way, let's get ready."

-I

-I

"&Here I am&," thought Jon as he stepped in front of a door, and it opened automatically. "&I'll just have to destroy this Zone Sealer, and their plan will be ruined. The only way the Egg Skulls would be effective is for no one outside of this region to be able to help, and the only way you can do that is by locking the zone. I'll just have to—oh, ----&" thought Jon as he walked into the room. There was a large, complicated machine in the center of the large, circular room, and in front of that was a slightly smaller, but still very large, machine. The body and arms resembled that on a normal Egg Skull, except slightly larger, and there was a large empty space in the middle of the chest. In this empty space were two prongs on the top and bottom, apparently meant to hold something in. It seemed to be around the size and shape of the Master Emerald. Also, the hands were different, as it now actually had hands with three fingers and one thumb each. On the shoulders were a pair of large machine guns, each as big as the ones on the normal Egg Skulls.

The bottom section was very different, however, as there were no wheels. Instead, it hovered in the air through some unknown means, and the wheels were replaced with a hexagonal shape with the lowest side covered in spikes.

The head was exactly the same, except slightly larger, and it appeared to have… a monocle on the right eye. Speaking of which, the left hand was holding a cane.

"Welcome, Game Master!" a voice said over the intercom. The door slammed shut behind Jon when this was said. "Meet the Mega Egg Skull! It is still incomplete, but it will be more than enough to defeat you!"

Jon paused. "I would feel threatened, but… what's with the monocle and the cane?"

"We already had the hat," responded the scientist over the speaker.

"What hat?"

"Oh, right, we forgot to put it on. Wily?"

A claw appeared from the ceiling and gently placed a black, inside-out top hat on the head of machine. With that, it started roaring. "CRUSH HUMAN!" it yelled as it activated the machine guns on its shoulders and started firing at the human.

Battle… BEGIN! 

With as yelp, Jon wavedashed out of the way of the initial spurt, but there was no time to dodge the second, so he put up his shield to block many of the bullets, and rolled out of the way. He then jumped up and started firing at the machine guns while running. "&Jeez, and this is just the incomplete form&?"

He double jumped in order to be able to shoot the hat, which was obviously the source of power, but the robot rose up its right hand and shot a burst of fire towards the Game Master. He airdodged out of the way, but Jon stilled ended up burned when he landed on the ground. He didn't have enough time to pull out a Mushroom before the Egg Skull slammed its' left fist into the ground, shooting a wave of ice towards the Game Master. He tried to jump over it, but it froze his feet together before he could double jump. As he lay on the ground trying to free his feet, the Mega Egg Skull flew over him, with the sharp spikes pointing right towards his body. The machine came crashing into the earth, but Jon had managed to barely roll out of the way. At this point, he managed to free his legs and, seeing his chance; double jumped up and fired a single blast at the hat.

Though unaffected, the hat was knocked off of the head and it flew towards the Zone Sealer, landing on the very top. "GRAH! CRUSH!" the now-living Zone Sealer yelled as it detached from the floor and the cables it was connected to and started "walking" towards Jon.

"No!" Robotnik yelled over the intercom. The claw that had previously put the hat on the Mega Egg Skull now removed it from the now-ruined Zone Sealer, and was about to put it back on the robot before Jon shot it down.

JON WINS! YOU GOTTEN… FROSTY'S TOP HAT 

The hat suddenly appeared in Jon's hat, and he looked closely. "What? Is this paint? It's inside out?"

"Yeah," Eggman said with annoyance over the speakers. "It was the only way for it to be effective. Just turn it outside-out to make it Frosty's top hat again."

"Is this really Frosty—"

"Yeah it is!" With that, Eggman shut off the intercom.

Robotnik turned to Wily. "Well, are the Egg Skulls coming?"

"Unfortunately, it seems all have them have gathered in the detachable side part of the Egg Carrier, you know, the one with the incomplete engines, to battle Mega Man. I didn't believe it would take all of them to battle Tom's pathetic machine, until I—"

There was a loud sound and the entire ship shook. "That was the detachable part of the ship launching!" yelled Robotnik. "That robot must have found out how to launch it, and without working engines he has sent everyone to their death!"

"Tom wouldn't let one of his robots kill! He must have found a way to get all of the pilots out before he detached the part."

"Either way, we have to get out of here!"

"Neither Mega Man nor the Game Master are properly braced, right?"

"I don't think so! Then, if we go to another region with the unstable large-scale Warp Generator, they won't be able to handle it!"

-I

-I

Jon managed to eat a few Mushrooms, recovering his health, before Mega Man e-mailed him.

_Jon, I managed to destroy the warp-hub, but the Egg Skulls attacked me. I got a map by defeating a robot master on the ship, so I managed to lure them to a detachable segment of the ship, and after forcing every pilot to get out under threat of falling thousands of feet, I detached the part and destroyed all of the Egg Skulls. Suddenly, Team Starfox appeared and started attacking the ship. Three of them are still attacking, while the others and Rush, who has recovered, is helping the criminals get down. You must have called them for help!_

_However, Jon, you have to abort the mission. Despite the damage Starfox is doing, the Egg Carrier is about to use an unstable Warp Generator to send the entire ship into another realm. Something like this requires a huge amount of energy, and unless you are braced, all of the energy will surge through you, and it will leave you badly wounded if it doesn't kill you! I assume you are on the third floor, where the Zone Sealer is. You have to escape on the nearest escape pod before the ship warps!_

_Signed, Rock Light, AKA Mega Man_

_Dated 11:35 PM_

Jon, confident that he wouldn't be fighting anyone else, paused and ran to the nearest escape pod. He unpaused and when he got in, pressed the button to launch it and was sent falling towards the Earth. From there, he would see Star Fox's Arwings shooting the Egg Carrier, and carrying the criminals down. Soon, they had finished rescuing everyone and they all, including Mega Man on Rush, started flying away. After a few minutes, and extremely large version of the red and blue warps appeared before the Egg Carrier and it flew through, though it was surrounded by bright yellow surges of energy. It then disappeared.

-I

-I

Later, on the ground…

"Well, thank you for your help," said Jon to the pilots.

"No problem! We'd do anything for Nintendo!" stated Fox.

"Now, about the money," Falco changed the subject.

"Oh, right, you'll get your money by tomorrow afternoon," Jon said.

"Well, pleasure doing business with you Game Master, and Merry Christmas!" Slippy said as he and all the other pilots on the mission got into their Arwings and flew away.

"Wait, is it Christmas Day yet?" asked to Mega Man.

"Uh, yeah, it's currently 12:06 AM Christmas Day December 25, 2004. Well, Merry Christmas, Jon."

"Uh, Merry Christmas to you too, I guess. So, I guess you're going?"

"Yeah, I am. Oh, and by the way Jon, the entire N-Team thing isn't working for me, sorry."

"Yeah, I thought it was something like that when you and Link just left. Well, I don't really mind, we never really did anything for long periods of time."

"Aren't you going to ask what level everyone is at?" asked Toad, who appeared out of nowhere.

After a pause of shock, Jon asked, "Uh, what do you mean?"

"The Tupperware fights of course! The frozen gum has just now reached Super Lemontastic Gum Level 1 Million, the pudding has gotten Curse Seal Level 22, the steak released his Bankai in the fight after you left and is currently on his Twelve-Kai, and everyone else just powered up normally, though the fish had to use all 12 gates and has died."

"Didn't the fish die in the fight I watched?"

"Oh, yeah, but we revived him with the Non-stick-on Balls later. Oh, and by the way, I found this weird cartridge just like the E-card for your Light Gun," Toad said as he pulled out a Game Boy Advance cartridge. "Try seeing what happens if you put it in your Game System."

Shrugging, Jon did so. His GBA was engulfed by light and it transformed into a strange machine with two screens. "A Nintendo DS! Awesome, now I can play DS games, and if it's the same as the GBA, it'll be able to play games for all the other systems, including the PSP! It's a Christmas miracle!"

"Toad, is there anything different about it?" asked Mega Man. "You seem to know stuff like this."

"Of course there is!" said Toad.

"Well, will you tell us?" asked Rock.

"Of course I will… next time!"

Jon spoke. "Next time? What do you mean by—"

-I

-I

NEXT TIME ON CAPTAIN N: 2006!

"Instrumental Version Of Captain N 2006 Theme Song" 

"After Kirby investigates some trouble in Dreamland, he gets caught up in a search for the Chaos Emeralds spanning all of Videoland! He'll have to team up with several people like Knuckles the Echidna, and even Wario to get them back!"

"Be sure to read/watch Captain N Level 6: The Great Emerald Search That is Not in Space!"

"I don't appear in this episode except for cameo roles! Wait, so will Toad actually tell us about the DS then?"


	11. The Great Emerald Search

Well, it took a while, but here's Chapter 6. It is incomplete, and I'm not going to be completing it any time soon. The reasoning is that I'm ----ing tired of this chapter and I want to move on to the next, which is shaping up to be much more fun to write. Shallow, yes, and I'm not exactly proud of it, but it's better than waiting the extra month, or even longer, it probably would have taken me to write this normally. This chapter seemed like a lot of fun during the planning, but I guess I'm just thirsting for a straight fight, and not the types found in this chapter (excluding the race and fight with Todd, which were a lot of fun to write). All sections between an "R-" and "-R" are rushed sections that are just summaries of what was supposed to happen.

Enjoy… or not.

-I

-I

R-

Kirby and Knuckles meet. Knuckles explains that due to the events in the previous chapter, the Chaos Emeralds have spread all throughout Videoland, and they can be accessed through Special Stages, which in turn can be accessed with Special Rings. Kirby says that he was looking for the Rainbow Shards, which were spread when something crashed into the area where they were kept, but he collected them all and is heading to that area. He has most of the shards with him, but he kept two or three in that area because they were already there. They conclude that a Chaos Emerald crashed into them when Knuckles senses one in the same area. They go to the area to see King Dedede escaping in the distance, and both the shards and the Special Ring are gone. They follow after him.

-R

**Now Loading…**

**LEVEL SIX: The Great Emerald Search **

**Will Toad tell us about the DS? Who knows…**

"So this is King Dedede's castle?" asked the red echidna as he looked at the cartoony castle atop the hill ahead of them.

"Yeah, that's it," answered Kirby. "Let's go in."

"So we can just waltz in?"

"Yeah, I do it all the time. Dedede is actually pretty nice, when he isn't an idiot. He'll probably have the last Rainbow Drops and that Special Ring."

After a couple of minutes, they reached the entrance and walked in without any trouble. "Doesn't he have any security?" asked Knuckles.

"He probably hasn't had enough time to set it up. However, we won't really know until we go through that door up ahead," explained Kirby.

"Why? What's special about that door?"

"If the security hasn't been set up yet, we should go straight to the throne room. If he has, it will send us through a long series of rooms eventually leading to the throne room. That's the way doors work in Dreamland, you can change them as long as they ultimately lead to the original destination eventually."

"This sure is a weird place," commented the emerald guardian as he and the pink puff walked through the door to find themselves in front of a throne. On the throne was a large blue penguin sleeping soundly as the TV played in the background, with a cartoony bubble of snot on his nose. There were two Waddle Dee guards to either side that started shaking the King of Dreamland when they noticed the two.

"King Dedede! Kirby's here!"

The king continued snoring.

"Sir! Kirby's here to see you!"

"Here, use this," said another guard as he handed him a pin. The first guard poked the snot bubble and when it popped, King Dedede jumped several feet in the air, and landed on his feet.

"Ah, Kirby, it's nice to see you! Uh, what are you doing here?" asked the blue penguin.

"Can it Dedede, we know you took the last Rainbow Drops and the Special Ring!" exclaimed Kirby.

"Rainbow Drops? Special Ring? I have no idea what you're talking about!"

"Knuckles, can you sense the ring?"

"Yeah, it's definitely here," Knuckles responded.

"You must be having it confused with my family heirloom," said Dedede as he pulled an object out from behind his throne. It was a giant, spinning, gold ring with two rainbow-colored objects apparently duct taped on at the top-left and top-right.

"… Look, we know you have them, so just give it to us before I use my fists!" Knuckles exclaimed.

"What, are you blind! That 'family heirloom' is what we're looking for!" Kirby pointed out.

"What are you talking about, the Special Ring doesn't have rainbow 'ears'," he responded.

"It's just the Special Ring with the Rainbow Drops taped on!"

"… You sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure!"

Knuckles had a dumbfounded look on his face, and then scowled at the king. "So, trying to pull a fast one on his! I'm gonna kick your ass!"

"Ahhh, I give up, I give up!" King Dedede said as he wildly waves his arms/wings around wildly. "I thought I would get away with this for sure." King Dedede pulled the Rainbow Drops off of the Special Ring, removed the tape, and gave the three objects to Kirby. Satisfied, Kirby and Knuckles walked back outside the castle.

"That was surprisingly easy," commented Knuckles as he took the ring from Kirby. "Well, thanks for your help, but I can handle everything else from here."

"No problem," Kirby responded as he started to walk away with the Rainbow Drops in his invisible pockets.

Suddenly, Knuckles yelled, "Get down!" as machine gun fire came out of nowhere.

They both managed to dodge the blasts and what seemed to be a hoverbike flew right over them and lowered to the ground. "Hah, I've finally found you, Knuckles!" exclaimed the man on the hoverbike, a purple weasel with a cowboy hat. "Robotnik's willing to pay a lot of money for you and your Chaos Emeralds, and Nack the Weasel's here to claim that prize!" Out of the hoverbike a hammer—much larger than the actual craft—appeared, and the bounty hunter fired the machine guns on the bike's sides.

Battle... BEGIN! 

Both Knuckles and Kirby again dodged out of the way as Nack swooped down and grabbed the Special Ring, shoving it into his invisible pockets. Nack then smashed his hammer towards Knuckles, but he jumped to the side avoiding it, and when Nack tried again, Knuckles uppercut the hammer at the same time and it flew off into the air. With the weapon gone, Knuckles jumped up and punched the craft, but he was deflected by a force field. At that point, Kirby ate the hammer and turned into Hammer Kirby, then using his ability to repeatedly attack the barrier.

"Hey! What the heck! Stay out of this, I'm only after him!" Nack yelled as he pulled out some handguns and fired at Kirby, but Kirby blocked it with his hammer. Kirby's assault made the bike lower to the ground, where Knuckles then used a punch combo, doing two jabs and then a devastating uppercut that sent both the bike and himself into the air, and breaking the shield.

"Crap!" yelled Nack as the weapons on his ship blew apart along with the shield, leaving only the jet thrusters. "Grr, I'll let you guys go this time, but I'll be back!" he announced in a typical villain fashion as he flew away out of range.

"**Sonic 3 (and on) Victory Music"**

**KNUCKLES AND KIRBY WIN!**

**YOU GOTTEN… SPECIAL RING!**

The special ring, sans Rainbow Drops, appeared in Knuckles' hands.

**End "Sonic 3 Victory Music"**

"It looks like this'll be harder than I thought it would, even if that guy was easy. If you need it, I'd be willing to help," said Kirby, who had now lost the ability he previously had.

"Look, I can do this by myself, you just go combine the Rainbow Drops now," Knuckles replied as he started pulling rings out of invisible pockets, but he stopped once he pulled out fifteen. "Crud, I only have fifteen rings! I need twenty to enter the Special Stage where the emerald is, and I can only get rings on M-Earth!"

Kirby thought for a second. "Wait, let me try something." He sucked up one of the rings, and after swallowing it, he glowed yellow and gained a ring-shaped hat, becoming Ring Kirby. Then, he used his new ability to pull ten rings out of nowhere and gave them to Knuckles.

"Uh, thanks," replied Knuckles in uneasy gratitude. "I guess now you can follow me into the Special Stage if you want, but don't screw anything up."

Knuckles threw all twenty rings, leaving four rings on the ground. There was a flash of light and the Special Ring started glowing multiple colors. "Just jump in to enter," Knuckles said, and did just that, with Kirby soon following him, still in ring form. There was a flash of light, and they found themselves in a new area.

**SPECIAL STAGE: S2 Half-Pipe…**

They were running down a blue half-pipe with yellow edges and a lighter blue sky, and they saw a message saying, "Get 30 rings!"

"Oh, right, I've heard of this place. Apparently, we have to get a total amount of rings equal to that or more, while avoiding the mines," explained Knuckles. "It looks like here you can move as fast as me, so what we have to do is get every ring that appears. I'll just do most of the work, but you try to get some rings too, just don't get hit. You can run on the walls and even the ceiling, but again, I'll do all—"

At this point, Knuckles realized that Kirby was just using his ability to shoot rings at both of them, getting their total well past thirty.

"Well never mind, then," Knux sighed.

Due to Kirby's ability, they managed to pass all the checkpoints with totals much more than what was necessary, and caught up to the Chaos Emerald, specifically the white one. Once they reached it, there was a flash of light.

"**Sonic 1-3 Special Stage Victory Music"**

**End "Sonic Special Stage Victory Music"**

After the flash, the two found themselves back where they were, except the special ring was gone, with the white Chaos Emerald in its place. Knuckles picked it up and placed it into an invisible pocket. "Uh, thanks for the help, but I'll do the rest myself. Now I can sense another Chaos Emerald coming from… the dimensional star in that direction," the echidna said as he vaguely motioned towards a direction in the sky. "Well, I'll be heading for the warpport."

Kirby started speaking. "Actually, I think I have a way to get to that dimensional star without having to figure out where it leads and without paying."

"Really? You do?"

"Yeah, just let me put the Rainbow Drops back together, and then I'll be back with it."

"Well, okay, but don't take too long or I'll just use the warpport."

Kirby then proceeded to walk away.

-I

-I

Meanwhile, at the Main Castle…

"Hey Toad, are there any missions?" Jon asked.

"There was one, but it's just been fixed," Toad responded.

"Oh, okay."

-I

-I

It was about an hour since Kirby left, and Knuckles was getting bored. He was about to leave, but he saw Kirby running towards him with what seemed to be a yellow star-shaped object about his size.

"It's about time, I was about to go without you," said Knuckles with his arms crossed and a scowl across his face. "So we're using that thing? I remember it from the tournament, but what is that anyway?"

Kirby pulled the star in front of him and dropped it onto the ground. However, as soon as he let it go, it started hovering above the ground while slowly spinning. "This is the warpstar. I use it to go places quickly, and despite it's size, it can hold up to five people, assuming two of them hang off the edges, so you should easily fit on it."

Knuckles looked at it a bit longer. "So, uh, where am I supposed to sit?"

"Just grab one of the arms, and its magic will prevent you from falling off too easily. Oh, and you can also breath in space using it."

Shrugging, Knuckles did so and once Kirby got on, the warpstar shot off at an incredible speed, though true to Kirby's words they were both easily able to hang on.

"Holy! This thing is fast! We've already left the planet!" exclaimed Knuckles as he looked around. They were already in space and were flying past the many strange shaped planets in the solar system. "Anyway, I better contact Sonic and Tails." Knuckles pulled a watch out from inside his gloves, though with a video screen, and pressed a button. After a while, a young, orange, two-tailed fox appeared on the screen.

"Oh, hey Knuckles, did you get another Chaos Emerald?" asked the boy genius, Tails.

"Yeah, the gray one, in Dreamland. Kirby's giving me a ride to another emerald right now."

"Well you're having better luck than us. We were attacked by some of Eggman and Wily's robots a few hours ago and our Chaos Radar was damaged. So, with your new emerald, that brings it up to three emeralds for us."

"So you were attacked too?" asked Knuckles.

"Yeah, but it wasn't anything me and Sonic couldn't handle, though Wily's Robot Masters gave us a pretty hard time. Did you have to fight them too?"

"Nah, just Nack, and he went down pretty quickly."

"I'm guessing they must be paying more attention to us because they consider us more of a threat… uh, no offense Knuckles, we all know how much of a threat you can be!"

Knuckles got an annoyed look on his face. "None taken."

Kirby finally took a chance to speak up. "We're approaching the region's limit."

"What, already? Anyway, Tails, I better go now." Knuckles pressed a button and the transmission ended.

The warpstar was approaching a region of space where you could just barely see a bunch of strangely colored stars. After a few second, the warpstar seemed to be caught in something and struggled to get through, shaking violently. After a few seconds, the shaking stopped, and the two found themselves surrounded by several colored stars, with a blue star behind them. They were in the skies of the Main Region.

"So which way should I go?" asked Kirby.

Knuckles pointed to a blue star some distance away, and the warpstar shot towards it, stopping right in front. "Are you sure it's this one?" Kirby asked.

Knuckles nodded. "Yeah, I'm sure. This is where the chaos energy is strongest."

The warpstar flew into the blue star, and after shaking similar to before, they found themselves in a new section of space, and they were already close to a planet. "It's on that planet, the one right in front of us, on the northern hemisphere." The warpstar flew to the hemisphere. "That country." The warpstar flew above the country. "The west part of the country." The warpstar flew above the west part of the country. "That region there." The warpstar flew above a region of the western part of the country. "That city." The warpstar flew above a city. "That building." The warpstar flew above the building and ended up crashing into it, sending both Knuckles and Kirby hurtling to the ground with an explosion. However, due to their gliding and flying skills, respectively, they managed to land safely. "That was one heck of a landing," commented Knuckles.

"Yeah, warpstars are pretty hard to control in small spaces."

"This wasn't exactly a small space."

"Shut up," Kirby ended the conversation.

-I

-I

"What the hell were you thinking, hiring someone like Nack, Todd?" asked a figure.

"Well, Pod, uh—" Todd responded.

"We're supposed to be helping the doctors gather the emeralds, like the shaded figure said!" exclaimed Pod.

"Shaded figure?"

"That's what we're supposed to be calling him! God, don't you remember anything! Seriously, he made that deal with the Space Pirates all those months ago, we should at least try to take advantage of them instead of hiring some small time bounty hunter!"

The third figure spoke up. "Look, can you calm down Claude?"

"Mod, what did I tell you about calling me my real name? Just call me Pod!"

"Look," Todd spoke up. "I told you people to call me Zod, as in 'kneel before Zod' before, but I don't complain about people calling me Todd 24-7 like you do."

"That's because you're stupid!" yelled Pod.

"No, what's stupid is that you two keep coming up with these nicknames, but you never do anything about the fact that all our names rhyme!" pointed out Mod. "Look, _Pod_, in this case, Todd was actually right about hiring Nack, because they wouldn't think to investigate any further if a small bounty hunter, who has a history with Robotnik, came after them, as opposed to an army of Space Pirates."

"Uh, well, sure, that's exactly what I was trying to do!" claimed Todd. "Anyway, I'm thinking of hiring another group of bounty hunters, okay Mod?"

"Uh, sure, who are you hiring?"

-I

-I

"So, what is this place?" Knuckles asked as he looked up at the very tall building, searching for a sign. "Do you see a sign anywhere?"

"What are you talking about, it's right there," Kirby said, pointing towards a huge sign right in front of them, which Knuckles was looking above of.

"Oh, uh, right."

The sign read, "WarioWare Inc. Headquarters," with, "The place for all of your microgame needs!" below it in smaller text.

"WarioWare?" asked Knuckles, "As in Wario, Mario's cousin?"

Kirby started explaining. "A few years ago, Wario came up with the bright idea of selling games that lasted only a couple of seconds, microgames, for a cheap, yet overpriced, cost. This made him a fortune, and even now he still owns the largest microgame manufacturer in Videoland, even with all the knock-offs. Given how greedy he is, he probably has the special ring with him."

"Yeah, I can sense it at the top floor, so let's just go up there and get it!"

OVERWORLD: WarioWare HQ… 

The two ran into the building only to crash into a group of people. A man said, "Come on you two, hurry up!" and the two red creatures were pretty much picked up and were carried a couple of yards.

"Not again!" exclaimed Knuckles. Kirby was confused by what he meant, but decided not to ask. They were put down into a group of other people, who were listening to a red-haired girl.

"Hi! Welcome to the tour of the headquarters of WarioWare Inc.! I'm Mona, and I'll be your tour guide for this! In case you're wondering, yes, I am the famous singer, and I'll be willing to give out autographs during the entire tour! So, anyone want an autograph?"

No one responded.

"Anyone?"

No one responded.

"…Okay, moving on. First, we'll be heading towards the offices, where the creative minds behind our incredible microgames work their magic!" Mona explained in an upbeat voice, but added under her breath, "For lower wages than a janitor, that cheapskate." She continued speaking in a cheerful tone. "Along the way, we'll be looking at the various rooms and the art and architecture of each! Please, follow me!"

R-

They go on the tour, meeting several WarioWare characters.

-R

"For the next thirty minutes, we'll be taking a break here in WarioWare's own restaurant, where you'll be able to taste the amazing food and be entertained by our live singers! There's even a karaoke bar, if you feel the need to sing, along with an area purely for discoing!" Mona explained as the group stopped in front of a pair of doors. She opened the doors, revealing a large, empty room filled with tables and chairs. There was another door leading to the dance pad, and at the other end of the room was the stage, where the blue karaoke machine Mike was singing that song from the Little Mermaid, "Under the Sea," except he was using the voice of Batman (from the Bruce Timm cartoons). It was actually quite nice. All of the people in the tour staggered into the room and sat at a table, including Knuckles and Kirby. However, due to lack of room, they were forced to sit with a shyguy.

The shyguy was quite ugly, and to add to it, he had quite a bit of scars. Kirby decided to start a conversation. "So, uh, I'm Kirby and this is Knuckles."

"Oh yeah, you're pretty famous. I'm Sid."

"So, uh, how'd you get those scars?"

"Back during the last SSB Tournament—the one where you were kidnapped, not the one a few months ago—I was attacked by a man that turned into a giant chicken, and then a giant owl."

"Oh… really?" asked Knuckles.

"… Did you just say 'o rly'?" Sid asked in fear.

"Uh, yeah, I guess. Is there a difference?"

Sid ran away screaming in fear, stopped once he reached the door, replied, "ya rly," and continued running away screaming.

"No wai!" exclaimed Kirby, officially ending the conversation.

At this point, the tour guide, Mona, seemed to remember something. "Oh no, I still have to deliver all those pizzas!" After saying that, she ran out of the door, and within a few seconds, you could see her driving away on a scooter.

At this point, Kirby realized something. "Knuckles, with the guide gone, we can go up to the top floor and get the emerald!"

"Hey, you're right, let's go." The red echidna was about to get up, but Kirby told him to stop. "What is it?"

"Do you have any money?"

"Tails left me with 1000 coins, why?" Knuckles said as he pulled a wallet out of his invisible pockets.

"I just took a look at the menu, and there's some food I haven't tried before that looks pretty good. We'll go after I've tried all of it."

"What! We can't think of food now!"

Kirby didn't take this rejection lightly, as he sucked Knuckles into his mouth, leaving the wallet behind on the table. Kirby called a waiter over, as Knuckles tried to break out of his mouth. Trying not to open his mouth, Kirby pointed at all of the items he hadn't eaten before, and the waiter seemed to understand, writing everything down as he went into the kitchen. It was at this point Knuckles managed to break out of his mouth.

"That… was disgusting," Knuckles commented. "Okay, fine, we'll eat for now."

Soon, all the food Kirby ordered was brought to the table, and he ate it all in one gulp. He rubbed his stomach. "Mmm, delicious."

"I wonder, since you could copy the rings, can you copy these coins?" asked Knuckles.

"I don't know, maybe." Kirby then sucked up the wallet, with all of the coins in it, and swallowed it only for nothing to happen. "Nope, nothing."

"Okay, now can you give me back my money?"

"Sorry, once I've eaten it, unless it's alive, it's gone for good."

"But all of my money was in there, now we can't pay for the food!"

"What was that?" asked the waiter who was bringing the tab over.

Knuckles sighed, grabbed Kirby, and ran out of the restaurant at full speed. "Help! Stop those men!" yelled the waiter. "They're eat-and-runs!"

"Okay, the ring's at the top of the building. We'll just take the elevator up there and get it!" Knuckles explained to Kirby as he easily outran the guards. Soon, they managed to find an open elevator and went inside, pressing the buttons to take them to the top floor. The doors closed and they started going up.

"Elevator Stage Music from any WarioWare game you want" 

When they went up, a huge "1" appeared before them, and the doors opened. There was a nose, with a finger below it moving left and right. Above that were instructions, "Pick nose." At the bottom was a graphic of a bomb with a lit fuse.

"Huh? What is this?" asked Knuckles.

"I guess to advance up in the elevator, you have to beat a microgame for each floor. That's probably what this button here is for," explained Kirby as he pointed to a group of four buttons labeled "A", "B", "L", and "R", arranged like in a Game Boy Advance. "It looks like this is still using the button games, not the new touch screen ones. It must be so any visitors can sample the games while they wait."

"Shouldn't playing the games just make them wait longer?"

"Yes, yes it would. Anyway, we probably have to beat twenty of the games to reach Wario."

At this point, time ran out for the microgame, and they ended up losing one of their four "lives".

"We can only lose three more times, so get ready!" exclaimed Kirby. They lost the next three games, unfortunately, and were thus sent back to the bottom floor.

End "Elevator Stage Music" 

"… Maybe we should just take the stairs," suggested Knuckles.

"Yeah, good idea."

Thus, the two ran up the stairs, and after several minutes, they reached the top floor. They opened the door and ran into a hallway with blue carpet floors and a bunch of strange paintings on the walls—apparently of Wario's ancestors. "Okay, the ring is this way," Knuckles said as he turned to his left and started walking, only for two shurikens to appear before his feet with a "tshnk", sticking out of the ground.

"Hold it right there, shoplifters!" yelled a young girl from out of nowhere.

"Kat, I thought they left the restaurant without paying," said another voice.

"…You sure?"

"Yeah."

"Well, whatever!"

Smoke appeared before Knuckles and Kirby, and as it cleared two young girls were before them. "I'm Kat!" said one with pink hair. "And I'm Ana!" said the other, with orange hair. Then, they spoke together. "We're the elite—and adorable—ninja girls of WarioWare, and we're going to—aww, so cute " they said as they noticed Kirby. They ran up to him and started hugging and poking him, which didn't make Kirby to happy as he ate the two and spat them out the window, making them land on the roof one story below as opposed to crashing onto the ground.

"Were those Wario's body guards or something?" asked Knuckles. Kirby shrugged, when a voice yelled out from the room at the end of the hallway.

"WILL YOU IDIOTS SHUT UP! I'M COUNTING MONEY HERE!"

"That must be Wario," said Knuckles as he and Kirby ran into the room. In the room was Wario indeed counting money, while Jimmy T. and his family were dancing on the dance floor in the same room. Among the money was a large ring.

"Huh! What are you guys doing here!" yelled Wario. "No one's allowed in here without an appointment! Especially not guys from the Smash Bros. tournament!"

"Look, we'll leave as soon as you give us that ring!" explained Knuckles.

"That ring?" Wario asked. "&Hmm, this ring-thing must be worth a lot if he's after it. I better keep it&. Oh, that's just a family heirloom of mine, I definitely didn't find it lying on the street a few weeks ago!"

"Family heirloom? Well, have you seen a ring that looks like that recently?"

"Nope, sorry Mac."

"Well okay, sorry to bother you, it must be somewhere else in the building."

Kirby jumped up and smacked Knuckles in the head. "Are you an idiot? This is the exact same this King Dedede did!"

"Wait… it is?"

"Yeah, it is! No wonder it's taken you so long to find the other ones!"

"Hey! I resent that statement!"

Wario started speaking again. "Look, he's obviously lying! This ring isn't what you're looking for! You would you rather trust: me, good old Trustworthy Wario; or a puny puffball that is pink, despite being male! I repeat, a pink man!"

"Well… wait, aren't you wearing a pink pair of pants?" asked Knuckles. "And come to think of it, my Super form is pink too…"

Wario growled, "Okay fine, I admit defeat, I actually found this ring a few weeks ago on the street. So now, maybe you could tell me what the big deal about this thing is."

"Wait, you were lying to me!" shouted Knuckles as he raised his fist.

"Look, calm down, Mac, I'll give you the ring, just say what's so important!"

Knuckles brought down his fists. "Alright, I'll explain." He explained what happened, which isn't anything you haven't heard before.

"Chaos Emeralds, you say?" commented Wario as he stroked his chin. "Say, I'll make you guys a deal. If you beat me in three laps around the Figure-8 Course in kart racing, I'll give you the ring. If I win, I keep the ring and… you'll have to make three microgames all together for me, all original."

"And what's stopping us from taking it now?" asked Knuckles.

"This is what's stopping you! Jimmy T.!" Wario yelled.

"Aw yeah," Jimmy said as he and his family surrounded the ring. They struck a pose, and a glowing barrier shaped like a disco ball appeared around it. "Funk Barrier."

"Crap, we'll never get through that!" admitted Knuckles.

"How about we make you a deal, too?" Kirby started. "If we lose, we'll get the Chaos Emerald from the Special Stage for you."

"What do you think I am!" exclaimed Wario. "You'll just take it for yourself! Besides, I always do treasure hunts myself. I don't even trust my brother, Waluigi, with my treasure! No deal!"

"Okay, fine, we'll accept. Take us to the track," said Knuckles.

R-

They go to the track and set up for the race. Waluigi is going to be Wario's racing partner, while Kirby and Knuckles are partners. Whichever whole team crosses first wins.

-R

All four karts were lined up along the Start/Finish Line when a lakitu carrying a traffic light flew up in front of them. The first light turned red, then the second. At this point, all four karts started revving up in order to boost at the start. The light turned green, and they were off. At first, Wario and Waluigi were behind Kirby and Knuckles due to their lower acceleration, but their high top speed soon came into play and they started catching up. Wario pressed a button on his dashboard, and all of a sudden, a Bullet Bill cannon appeared in the exact middle of the track, behind them, and started firing towards the two red protagonists. Knuckles and Kirby were forced to swerve away from the blasts, and were passed by the Wario brothers.

"Why you cheap little… you can't do that!" exclaimed Knuckles to Wario.

"Of course I can! Bullet Bills are allowed as obstacles! It's not my fault it's only firing at you two!" Wario pointed out.

Another round of Bills fired towards the two, but Kirby sucked them all up and spit them into the air as a star. "Knuckles, jump up and punch it to the cannon!"

"Well, I'm not the best jumper, but I'll try," Knuckles said as he leaped up from his kart and spiked the star towards the cannon, destroying it, and glided back to his kart.

Wario scowled as he and his brother started drifting around the curves and drove into the outer two item boxes, getting a banana and a green shell respectively, which they held behind their cars for protection from red shells, while powering up a drift-boost. Knuckles and Kirby did the same thing, drifting around the curve, but they stuck to the curve and drove into the inner two item boxes, getting a red shell and a triple mushroom respectively, when suddenly a trap door opened up below Kirby and he was sent falling, but he was pulled out by a lakitu and placed just in front of the item boxes, though he was now far behind everyone else.

"What the hell just happened!" asked Knuckles as he looked back.

"Oh, I forgot to tell you—there're trap doors all around the track, and only we know where they are!" revealed Waluigi. "Oh, and there are also other things, such as this!" With that, the brothers activated their drift-boosts before the curve ended, and right as the boost ended, they started speeding up again.

"Hidden boosts!" Knuckles said as he tried to same thing, releasing the drift boost in the same place, and he too was sped up.

"You know, we probably shouldn't have shown him that boost at this point," Waluigi said.

"Yeah, it's more supposed to be a trump card in the final lap thing," agreed Wario. At that point, a loud whirring sound could be heard. "Aw crap! Come on, we gotta start drifting again! If we boost at the right time, we can avoid it!" It was a Spiky Blue Shell, a supposedly impossible to avoid item that would home in directly on the person in first place, also hitting anyone nearby. It is also impossible to block, making their bananas and shells useless. Unfortunately, despite their efforts, the Blue Shell crashed into Wario and took Waluigi with him. "Gah!" they yelled as the explosion spun them into the air and they were passed by Knuckles, while Kirby—the one who threw the shell—didn't, though he got much closer behind them.

"Why you little! You think you may have gotten us with that shell, but we'll pass you just up ahead!" exclaimed Waluigi.

On cue, a trap door opened up below Knuckles and he dropped in, only to be carried up by the lakitu and dropped back onto the field. Wario and Waluigi passed him and skillfully swerved around the trap door locations. At this point, Kirby has passed Knuckles. "Hey, I think I know a way to get around those traps! Just follow behind me!" Kirby said.

"Well, okay!" Knuckles drove his kart directly behind Kirby and started drafting—a process where you speed up by going behind your opponent, reducing wind resistance, and if you do this long enough, you get a boost. At that point, Kirby sucked in air and puffed up his body to over five times its normal size, causing his pinkness to spill over the sides of the kart—though he was somehow still able to steer. At that point, a trap door opened up underneath Kirby, but his puffed up body prevented the kart from going in and, in fact, bounced him up into the air. Right as he bounced, Knuckles had draft-boosted onto the pink orb and was spent flying into the air, sending him right over that area of the of the track and landing right in front of Waluigi and Wario. While Kirby passed the area too, he was still a bit behind everyone else, and he was now at his normal size.

"What!" the brothers exclaimed as Knuckles started hugging the upcoming curve and crashed into the innermost item box, getting a green shell. The two brothers, however, started drifting into the outer two boxes, and made a sharp turn into the wall just barely getting their items.

"Huh? They'll crash if they do that!" pointed out Kirby as he watched from behind. However, instead of crashing into the wall, they flew right over it and landed on the other side of the track, ahead of Knuckles. "A hidden ramp!" Kirby then checked to see what items they had on his dashboard viewing-screen. "Waluigi has a mushroom, being in third place… but how did Wario get a star when he was in second! The box he used must be a trick item box that always gives good items!" Kirby then drove into the box Wario used, but was caught in a trap door directly ahead of it—that must have been why Wario just barely touched it. Kirby fell in and was placed directly in front of the item boxes.

"Are you kidding me!" Knuckles said as he saw the brothers quickly land just ahead of him, and then drove into a hidden boost just ahead of where they landed. Knuckles followed after them using the same boost and crossed the Finish Line, ending his first lap. Suddenly, Kirby caught up with him—he used the item box to get a golden mushroom and, upon using the ramp and the following boost, boosted like crazy.

"It looks like we'll have to use the ramp here too," commented Waluigi to Wario as he looked back. There was a hidden ramp just as the curve began, and they drifted into it, which made it so that the karts would face the right direction when they landed. Right after where they landed was the boost, which they used the same way they did with the last ramp. However, this proved to be ineffective as Kirby and Knuckles did the exact same thing. "Don't we have any more traps!"

"Well, there were those mini-Bill guns, but those were destroyed with the Bullet Bill launcher… wait, we still have Sir Caliente the Angry Sun!" Wario exclaimed as he pressed a button on his dashboard. Waluigi and Wario then used their mushroom and star, respectively, to boost ahead. At that point, the sun got an angry face and started hovering over Knuckles and Kirby, revealing that the real sun was behind it the entire time. "You know, let's just shut off the trap doors in this part, they'll just slow us down, especially now that those guys can somehow get past them," he said as he pressed another button and did just that.

The Angry Sun started dropping fireballs at Knuckles and Kirby, which they swerved around skillfully, though all the turns were slowing them down. After about ten fireballs, the sun dove down and crashed into Knuckles' kart, knocking it into the wall and setting it on fire. "Knuckles!" Kirby exclaimed. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," Knuckles said as he drove the kart back onto the track and the flames disappeared.

"Do you think you could jump up and hit it?" asked Kirby.

"Sorry, that sun's way too high."

"I see… wait, I have an idea!" Kirby then used his suction powers to suck Knuckles and his kart into his mouth, and then spat them at the Angry Sun as a star. The attack hit dead on and the sun fell to the ground, with Knuckles and the kart, back in their original forms, landing back on the track.

"Look, could you ask me before you do that again?"

Wario and Waluigi drove to the outer rim of the road, and skidded into the outermost item boxes—just barely getting them—and drove onto the ramp that boosted them past the curve and straight to the straightaway. They got a triple mushroom and a banana respectively. By this point, Knuckles and Kirby were far enough behind for both item boxes to have regenerated by the time they got there, so they did the same thing the brothers did, getting a star and a Bullet Bill respectively as they flew over the curve. However, as they drove into the curve, Knuckles crashed into the banana, which Waluigi had laid there, and was sent spinning for a second, greatly slowing him down. At this point, both of them activated their items and were sent flying past the finish line, on the final lap.

Knuckles managed to use the hidden ramp to cross over the curve, but Kirby's Bullet Bill item, which prevented him from greatly changing his direction, took him around it, but they both managed to get much closer to the brothers than before. However, Wario then used his triple mushroom to boost ahead. They soon reached they trick item box, with Wario still in the lead, and he ignored the item for some reason, heading straight for the ramp and going across. The reasoning behind this was discovered as Waluigi, who was now only just a bit ahead of Knuckles and Kirby, took the item and prevented them from getting it. The three of them crossed on the ramp, but Waluigi had gotten a Bob-Omb from the item box and the two behind him were caught in the explosion. By the time they recovered, Wario had crossed the Finish Line, with Waluigi soon afterwards. The winner of the race was Team Wario.

"Well crap," commented Kirby as he and Knuckles crossed the line in third and fourth place, respectively. Now that the race is over, feel free to take a look at a map of the track, with all of the non-mobile traps included (See review).

"Well, you guys know the deal!" said Wario. "I'll be waiting for my three games. And make sure they use the new touch screen!"

"This is crazy! You were cheating and you know it!" exclaimed Knuckles.

"Cheating, huh? Don't you mean, 'knowing the layout of the track and taking advantage of my environment?' It's perfectly legal!"

R-

They argue for a bit longer, but they decide to comply.

-R

"Well, we finally managed to make our first game!" exclaimed Kirby.

"After three hours, though," responded Knuckles.

The game in question was a simple game where you tapped a floating Kirby on the touch screen and avoid objects this way.

A whip smacked across their backs. "Work, dammit!" exclaimed a tiny red creature that resembled a devil.

"Red, we just finished a game," said Kirby.

"Good, now make two more, or who knows what Ashley will do to you!" Red then smacked the whip against their backs again and turned to the other slaves/game developers. "And you can't slack off either!" With that, he whipped them too.

"Grr, I'm getting tired of that retarded chao-thing!" exclaimed Knuckles.

"Getting?"

"Let's just hurry up and come up with the next game. Can you think of anything?"

"…"

"Well?"

"I'm thinking… Nope, nothing. You?"

"No. Wait, maybe one where you have to look for a face on a globe—"

"Already been done."

"Damn. Now let's see…"

Red yelled, "Work dammit!" as he whipped them again.

"You know what? Screw this, I'm getting that ring," Knuckles said as he got up and started climbing up the wall.

"Hey, you can't do that! I'm calling security!" cried Red as he flew away. When Knuckles reached the ceiling, he punched a hole straight through it and climbed up to the next floor. Sunlight poured into the room from the windows in the above hallway, and the programmers screamed in horror as the light burned their eyes. "Oh, wait, that's right, Wario had the phones removed so the programmers couldn't call for help. Meh, whatever. All you other guys, keep working!" Red smacked the whip again, despite complaints about the light.

"… I got it! For the next two games, we could—oh wait," Kirby said as he looked around and flew up the hole Knuckles created.

"Great, another one," Red said. He looked around and noticed that, now that they got used to the light, the programmers were piling up on one another to reach the hole and escape. "Jeez, Ashley will be pissed."

R-

They take the Special Ring and encounter Nack outside of the building. Before they can fight, however, Wario comes out of nowhere and knocks Nack into a building. At this point, Kirby makes a deal with him—if he lets them have the emerald, they'll pay him back later with two emeralds. Knuckles initially disagrees, but becomes convinced when Dr. Crygor shows up in a mecha. Wario agrees, but decides to tag along with them to make sure they keep the deal. They jump into the Special Ring.

I actually did have this part written, but it got deleted through a screw-up, so… yeah.

-R

There was a flash of light, and they found themselves in a new area.

SPECIAL STAGE: Break the Targets! … 

Knuckles and Kirby found themselves in a large open area with several platforms. It would be bothersome trying to describe the locations of all of them, so just take a look at the included picture (See review) which also includes the paths taken by our heroes.

"Break the Targets Theme from Super Smash Brothers Melee" 

"Break the Targets, huh?" commented Knuckles. "Like in the tournament? Then this should be a piece of cake!"

"There seems to be a map of the area on the floor here," Kirby said as he pointed downwards to a copy of the above map, without the paths of course. "I'll take the ones to the right, while you take the ones on the left. Got it?"

"Yeah, whatever."

Kirby started off by filling himself with air and flying up to the small horizontal area where the curvy area bent and kicked the target located there, smashing it into pieces. Then, turning around, he started flying up to a target floating in free space and destroyed it with a burst of air. Without air, he started falling towards the third target, located below the first one he hit and quickly smashed it before he filled up with air again and flew onto the above platform.

Meanwhile, Knuckles had hopped onto the connected platforms below and fell through the thin, central ground into the box containing the target. He quickly punched it and hopped back onto the start platform. From there, he hopped onto the higher platform and destroyed the next target by jumping below the third platform, punching it in midair, and using his unique skill of gliding through the air to attach to the wall. Using his spiky knuckles, his namesake, Knuckles started climbing up the wall and climbed over the top. He then jumped down in order to hit the next target, and reattached to the wall.

From the platform he was on, Kirby used his flying skills to reach the rightmost platform and smashed the target there. He then jumped from there, kicked the rightmost target, and returned to the platform with a single puff. "Wait, I was sure there was one more target in this area…"

Knuckles looked in front of him as he landed on the highest platform. "I think I can take both of the targets out in one attack if I do this…" After saying that, he curled up into a ball and started spinning in place—the Spin Dash, a move he shared with Sonic and several others—and boosted towards the two remaining targets. He crashed through the first target without signs of slowing down, and flew right off of the edge, launching into the last target in mid-air. At that point, a large message appeared saying, "Game!"

There was a flash of light.

**End "Break the Targets Theme"**

"**Super Smash Bros. Melee (Classic and Adventure Mode) Victory Music"**

**End "SSBM Victory Music"**

After the flash, the two found themselves back where they were, except the special ring was gone, with the red Chaos Emerald in its place.

"It's about time you losers got back," stated Wario. "So that's a Chaos Emerald, huh? Funny, I thought they would be green. Well, whatever, it still looks like it'd be worth a lot. Whad'ya say I hold onto that emerald for now?"

"Not a chance!" Knuckles exclaimed.

"Jeez, calm down," Kirby said as he picked up the Chaos Emerald. "Wario will be with us the entire time, and besides, he won't try anything until he has the two emeralds he was promised. Even if he did try something, we could just beat him up."

"Okay fine, but I'm still not letting him hold the emerald," said Knuckles as he took the emerald from Kirby and placed it in invisible pockets. Wario started spinning really fast, until he became a blur, and when he stopped spinning, he was suddenly in his classic yellow outfit.

"Well, I'm ready when you losers are! Where's the rest of the treasure?"

"Hey! The Chaos Emeralds aren't treasure! They're invaluable gems of unknown power that can be very dangerous in the wrong hands!"

"Wouldn't the fact that they're invaluable make them treasure?" asked Kirby.

"Don't tell me you're on his side!" exclaimed Knuckles.

"What are you talking about? I'm just saying its treasure. I think you're acting a bit paranoid."

"Okay, fine, whatever, they're treasure. Anyway, the next emerald is… over there," Knuckles stated, pointing.

"It's in that building?" asked Wario. "Heh, I've always wanted an excuse to smash that place up, and treasure's as good as any!"

"No you idiot, why would two emeralds be so close together, none the less in the same region! It's a dimensional star in that direction. We can reach it using Kirby's warpstar, which is right over there."

"You calling me an idiot, you mutant freak!"

"Look, calm down, let's just go," Kirby said as he, Knuckles, and Wario got on the warpstar. The warpstar flew a foot into the air, shook greatly, and then crashed into the ground.

"Well come on, let's go!" exclaimed Wario.

"We can't! The warpstar won't go!" explained Kirby.

"Well why not!"

Knuckles asked, "Was it damaged in the crash?"

Kirby shook his head. "No, it's perfectly fine. It just has too much weight on it." Kirby and Knuckles looked at Wario.

"Oh, okay, fine, I know when I'm not wanted," Wario said as he got off the warpstar.

"Well, it looks like you can't come with us after all," Knuckles commented with a grin.

"Yeah, you'd think that, wouldn't you?" Wario said as he looked up into the sky and after a few seconds, found what he was looking for—a pink UFO with a pig nozzle on it. Wario picked up a medium-sized rock and threw it at high speeds towards the ship. It hit, and the ship was sent crashing into the ground. Wario ran up to it, jumped in, and threw out the alien riding inside, and after a few minutes, he managed to get the ship running again and it was soon hovering above the ground.

"Crap, I thought we could lose him here," said Knuckles with a sigh. "Well anyway, let's go." The warpstar took off from the ground, and flew into space, followed by the ship. "Hey, wait, we're going a lot slower than before! What's the big deal?"

"I'm going this slow so Wario can keep up with us," explained Kirby.

"You WANT him to keep up with us?"

"Well, yeah. Sure, he's annoying, but we could always use some more help on this search. Besides, you don't have to give him the two emeralds, you could just ditch him after this entire thing's over."

"I guess you're right. Still, I'd like to get this over with."

-I

-I

Meanwhile, at the Main Castle…

"Hey Toad, are there any missions?" Jon asked.

"There was one, but Wario solved the problem," Toad responded.

"Oh, okay."

-I

-I

After several hours, Knuckles, Kirby, and Wario found themselves in a new region and were floating in a seemingly empty area of space. "Yeah, it's right around here. In fact, it's right ahead, past all that junk," Knuckles said, pointing towards a bunch of space debris.

"We'll have to be careful not to crash into anything. Are you ready, Wario?" Kirby asked.

"Hah! Like a bunch of junk would keep me away from my treasure!"

"By the way, how can he hear us?" asked Knuckles. "And how can we hear him? We're pretty far away from each other."

"Oh, the warpstar can also act as a two-way radio for other ships," Kirby explained.

"Strange… but whatever. The ring is in the center of that junk cloud."

OVERWORLD: SECTOR Z… 

"Sector Z?" Kirby asked. "Now where have I heard that before?"

"Wasn't it one of the stages in the tournament?" Knuckles said.

"Oh, right, from Team Star Fox's world. This was where Andross was building his secret weapon years ago."

"So is it dangerous?"

"Star Fox probably took out most of the enemies here, but there might still be some left."

A small robot flew out from behind some debris and fired a blast of energy towards the warpstar and ship. They both quickly dodged out of the way. "Like that one," Kirby added.

"Stand back, let me take care of that pest!" Wario exclaimed as he turned his pig ship around to face the robot, and fired a gray object at it, surrounded by a green aura. It hit, and the robot exploded, leaving behind more of the green aura.

"…Was that an onion?" asked Knuckles.

"Yes, it was," Kirby confirmed.

As they moved on through the junk, some more robots started flying out. "Great, more of them!" Knuckles exclaimed.

"We'll have to let Wario take care of it—he's the only one with a projectile weapon," said Kirby. The warpstar frantically avoided the blasts as Wario fired his deadly onions at the robots. However, some of the robots were getting dangerously close to them.

Knuckles punched a few of the robots that were near, knocking them away and destroying them. "It looks like we'll have to fight, too."

Kirby sucked in one of the enemies and gained the Beam ability, which allowed his to create basically a whip of electricity, though if he charged it up, he could also fire a powerful energy blast. Kirby did just that, powering up his ability for a few seconds before firing a ball of energy towards an unlucky enemy. Soon, all of the enemies were defeated.

"Well, I guess we're done here," Knuckles commented. "The ring is just up ahead."

"Not so fast," a voice said from the warpstar's radio.

They barely had enough time to dodge a series of laser blasts as a group of ships dove past.

"Wha! Star Wolf!" Kirby exclaimed.

"Star Wolf Theme" from Star Fox Assault 

"Allow us to introduce ourselves," said a voice on the radio. "I'm Wolf O'Donnell, leader of Star Wolf."

"I'm Leon, the face of your doom!" said another voice.

"And I'm Panther. All who see my rose meet death!" stated the last voice.

"Now, if you just hand over the emeralds you've gathered so far, we'll leave you alone," said Wolf. "If not, we'll blast you straight to hell!"

The three were riding in Wolfens, powerful ships that resembled Star Fox's Arwings.

"You're those clowns from the tournament, right? Like hell I'm going to hand over my treasure to losers like you!" yelled Wario.

"_My treasure?_ Aren't you getting ahead of yourself?" asked Knuckles. "Though, however, I agree with you."

"I guess we should have expected such from you, but in case you haven't noticed, our firepower is far superior to yours," pointed out Leon.

"Just one question: exactly how did you find us?" asked Kirby.

"Your two-tailed friend isn't the only one to have developed Chaos Radar. Dr. Robotnik provided us our own copies of it so we could get the emeralds for him," explained Panther.

"That must have been how Nack was following me," Knuckles realized.

Suddenly, an explosion shook the three Wolfens that were hovering in place.

"What! Did they attack!" Panther asked as his ship, and the others, flew away from the blast.

"You rang?" answered a voice. It was Nack, riding on a larger version of his bike, the Marvelous Queen.

"You again!" Knuckles exclaimed.

"You think I'm going to let some other two-bit bounty hunter get my cash reward!" Nack yelled. "Well you're wrong!" With that, he launched a missile towards the Wolfens, but with a burst of speed, they managed to dodge it. It followed after Wolf, but it was blasted away by Leon.

"Let's take out this loser before our target gets away!" ordered Wolf. The wolfens spread out and came at Nack from three directions. Nack dodged the laser fire and countered with his own.

"Quick, while they're busy, let's go get the special ring," suggested Wario.

"There's no way we can escape them like this!" exclaimed Knuckles. "At least, not with Wario in tow," he added under his breath.

"What was that, you red-haired hippy!"

"Actually, in this world, the warpstar's top speed isn't much faster than what we were going at before," Kirby revealed.

"Huh? Why's that?" asked Knuckles.

"You see, despite having humanlike animals and such, this region has more 'reals' than both my region and the Mushroom Kingdom's region. Though my warpstar is able to travel in any region, the speed greatly depends on the reals."

"So in other words we couldn't get away even if we abandoned Wario."

"That's right."

"Why I oughta…" Wario grumbled.

"Wait, actually, I have an idea," revealed Kirby. "Let's just head for the ring for now and I'll explain on the way." They did just that and Kirby started his explanation. "Depending on what the special stage is, we don't necessarily have to get the emerald right away, right? Since, from what you've told me, the ring disappears while we're in it, Star Wolf won't know where we are. If they don't see us enter, they'll probably assume that we escaped with the ring."

"That's a great idea!" exclaimed Knuckles. "The special ring is just up ahead."

After traveling for a bit, they, indeed, came up to the ring. Kirby lost his Beam ability to become Ring Kirby and summoned 20 rings. The rings were thrown into the special ring, which started glowing rainbow colors.

Meanwhile…

"Sheesh, that was even easier than I thought it'd be," commented Leon. "As soon as we got the shield down, he ran like a coward."

"Don't look now, but our target's gone," pointed out Panther.

"They should be going for the emerald, so let's head towards that," ordered Wolf.

The wolfens made a sharp turn and boosted at full speed to the nearest emerald on the Chaos Radar, and after a few minutes, they came within range of the other three. "There they are! Shoot to kill," ordered Wolf. He and the others fired blasts towards their foes.

"Crap, it's them!" exclaimed Wario.

"Quick, into the Special Stage!" Kirby advised as all three entered, even though they logically wouldn't be able to fit in the ring.

"After them!" yelled Leon as he and the other two Wolfens flew in the ring too. The Ring disappeared soon after.

**SPECIAL STAGE: Star Fox (SNES) Out of This Dimension…**

"**Music From Aforementioned Level"**

"Wait, I just realized," said Knuckles.

"What?" asked Kirby.

"Don't they have Chaos Radar? Even if they didn't follow us in, they still would have realized where we were."

"Oh… oh, right. I forgot they had that."

Team Star Wolf looked at their surroundings. "Wha-What's with this place!" asked Leon. "The sky's all… freaky!"

"I think this is a Special Stage, where the emeralds are being held," commented Panther.

"Leon, you idiot, why did you tell us to follow them! We should have just waited outside the ring until they reappeared!" yelled Wolf.

"Well sorry, but I thought they were using a normal warp. Anyone would make that mistake!" Leon defended himself.

"Well, we need to pull it together. We've been acting really sloppy this mission, and we can't let the target escape now!" advised Wolf.

"Wolf, there's a group of unidentified objects coming in on the radar," Panther said.

"Huh!"

Knuckles looked ahead. "Wha! Is that… paper!"

True to his word, there were several large pieces of paper, that then folded up into paper airplanes and flew towards the ships.

"What? What the hell are those doing here!" Panther asked.

"They won't be here for long!" Leon yelled. Leon started off by firing blasts towards one, and to his surprise, it took multiple blasts to take them down. In response, the paper airplanes started firing back, but everyone managed to dodge. "Annoying pests!" Leon yelled.

"Let's take these things out first!" Wolf commanded. The wolfens flew towards the strange enemies and started attacking, leaving Knuckles, Kirby, and Wario in peace.

"…So, uh, what now?" asked Knuckles.

"I guess we have to reach the end of this path to get the emerald," Kirby suggested. "Let's just continue forward, I guess."

"Hmm… those guys are distracted… the perfect time to strike!" Wario declared. He pulled out an onion from the ammo. "Time to achieve my ultimate form!" He devoured the onion whole and started glowing. Light filled his spacecraft, and it exploded, revealing a shadowy figure in the dust cloud. "Faster than a pretzel, stronger than a piece of cardboard! The one, and only!" The dust cleared, revealing Wario in pajamas and a cape. "WARIOMAN!"

"Huh! And I thought this place was weird enough!" Knuckles exclaimed as he looked at Wario's new form.

"What does he think he's doing!" queried Kirby.

Warioman made several poses, floating through space… until Wolf accidentally crashed into him and got stuck to the window, blocking the engines in addition to that.

"Huh! You idiot, what are you doing! I'm out of control!" Wolf yelled.

Wario yelled, "Aren't you supposed to be a hotshot pilot or something! Why'd ya crash into me!"

"Well forgive me if I was busy with those paper things!"

"…You know, something tells me this wasn't a good idea," Wario said to himself as he and Wolf flew into a wormhole and disappeared from the Special Stage.

"…Where did that wormhole come from?" asked Kirby.

R-

Knuckles and Kirby fight Leon and Panther. They manage to knock them into the exact same wormhole (which Knuckles finds very odd) with Kirby's copy ability and Knuckles' Chaos Emerald Attacks, which are the same as the ones from Sonic Adventure 2 VS Mode.

-R

**End "Out of This Dimension Theme"**

"**When the Saints Go Marching In"**

Knuckles saw something ahead. "Huh! Is that…"

Kirby finished, "… a giant paper slot machine?"

There wasn't really much more to say about it in terms of physical description… it was a giant paper slot machine.

"… I guess we have to get a jackpot or something to get the emerald," commented Knuckles. Kirby moved the warpstar closer and Knuckles punched down the lever. They got a bar, and Andross picture, and a seven, which yielded no result. They tried again. No result. They tried again. No result. They tried again. No result. They tried again. No result. They tried again. No result. They tried again. No result. They tried again. No result. They tried again. No result. They tried again. No result. They tried again. No result. They tried again. No result. They tried again. No result. They tried again. No result. They tried again. No result. They tried again. No result. They tried again. No result. They tried again. No result. They tried again. No result. They tried again. They got three sevens, and the slot machine spewed out coins like crazy. Then, it exploded, engulfing everyone in light.

End "When the Saints Go Marching In" 

After the flash, the two found themselves back where they were, except the special ring was gone, with the green Chaos Emerald in its place.

"Holy ----, that took forever!" Knuckles exclaimed.

"Okay, I officially hate that place. I never want to go there again," stated Kirby.

Knuckles snatched the emerald and placed it in his invisible pockets.

"You know, even though he was annoying and all, Wario doesn't really deserve to float through that place until he dies, and neither does Star Wolf," commented Kirby.

"Actually, you don't have to worry about that," said Knuckles. "No matter where you are in the Special Stage, you'll end up back in the real world once it ends. I'm guessing that since they used those warps to get off the main path, they were sent off elsewhere."

"Well, I guess that makes me feel better. And by the way, I guess you won't have to give him those emeralds now. Hey, it's almost time for dinner, isn't it?" Kirby then started moving the warpstar towards the region limit.

"Uh, yeah, in the Main Region and most regions' primary nations it is," Knuckles said as he looked at his watch. "Oh, and that reminds me, I have to contact Sonic and Tails." Knuckles pressed a button on his watch, and after a while Tails appeared on the screen. He didn't look too happy.

"Oh, hey Knuckles. I assume you're having better luck than we are? We managed to take one emerald from Eggman since you last called, but that still brings it up to three."

"Actually, I managed to get two more emeralds since I last called!"

Tails' face lit up. "What! Really! Sheesh, it took you months before just to figure out where that Dreamland emerald was, and now you're finding one every few hours! What's going on?"

"Kirby's warpstar is a lot faster than using the warpports, and it's much easier locating them when I can go straight into the dimensional stars."

"Well anyway, that brings up our total to six! We only have one left. However, I have to warn you about something—the last emerald was taken by Eggman and is currently being held in a Space Pirate base. It'll be really dangerous, so you should probably wait for us."

"Don't worry, I can handle this myself."

"Well… if you're confident then I guess you can go yourself. But remember, it isn't a good idea to break in and go on a rampage. Try to be stealthy, at least."

"Yeah, whatever."

"Well, bye." Tails disconnected.

Kirby looked at Knuckles. "So only the two of us are going to take the emerald from the Space Pirate base?"

"Well, you don't have to help if you don't want to."

"You should at least have Jon help. That's what he's there for, after all."

"You mean Captain N? We don't need his help."

"Well, still…"

"Anyway, let's just go to the closest restaurant when we get out in the Main Region."

-I

-I

"Crap! I can't find them anywhere!" complained Todd. "I guess entering the Special Stage must have shorted out the trackers."

"Jeez, can't you even do this right with Star Wolf helping? Anyway, don't you think Fox and Wolf together look so ka—" responded Pod.

"I don't want to hear about your sick fantasies, okay."

"It's not sick, it's sug—"

"Ah! Ah!" Todd yelled as he covered his ears. "I don't want to hear it, Pod!"

"…Ba—"

"Anyway, where's that last emerald again?"

"It's in that one Space Pirate base. Maybe you'll actually succeed in protecting this emerald with so many people helping."

"Look, I'm tired of you looking down on me! I can kick your ass any day and you know it!"

"Like hell you can! I'll show you, right now! Kab—"

"Look, I don't think Mod would approve of us fighting," Todd interrupted. "I'll show you my power by beating up those wankers myself!" Todd turned around and left the area.

Pod just stood there for a several seconds. "Well, I might as well get back to my dou—"

-I

-I

The two landed (crashed) in front of a restaurant. As they were about to head in, Kirby suddenly realized. "Crap, we don't have money!"

"Wait, actually, I think I have some—"

"I ate that, remember? And those coins from the Special Stage disappeared as soon as we left."

"… Oh, right… well, anyway, I'll just get some from that bank account Tails set up for me."

Thus that problem was solved.

-I

-I

Jon walked up to Toad. "Hey Toad, any—"

"NO, DAMMIT!"

"… Well okay then…"

-I

-I

In a nearby region, in deep space, there was a large asteroid floating around a planet. On a small corner of the asteroid was a cluster of domes connected by tunnels both large and small, which several other chambers underneath the ground. This was Space Pirate Base Uyrias Neven-ory (Green Fifty-Six), a large, but relatively unimportant base, and where the last Special Ring was being kept until it could be transferred to a higher-level location. Knuckles and Kirby approached the base and stopped within a mile of it.

"Okay, I've been to Space Pirate bases before. They tend to have an energy shield surrounding them, but they're only strong enough to block the stray dust and rocks flying through space that could crash and damage the base. The warpstar should easily be able to get through," explained Kirby. "Though, it will still be a bit rough, and we'll set off the alarm once we get through."

The warpstar reared back, and dashed into the barrier at full speed. After a second of shaking, they broke through and slowed to a stop as they entered. Since the inside of the shield contained air, they could just barely hear the alarm going off in the base. After a few seconds of stillness, the warpstar reared back again and crashed into the farthest part of the base. Inside the building, the various Space Pirate troops started heading towards the crash site.

Meanwhile, Knuckles and Kirby landed on top of a dome in the nearest side of the base—they had jumped off right as the warpstar started its crash course. "Well, if my sense is right, then the Special Ring should be right here in this dome, towards the center," the echidna stated. Knuckles got on his knees, pulled his fist back, and smashed it into the ground, creating a large hole for the two to enter. They jumped in and landed in a dark room full of machinery, and Knuckles tapped the ground. "Well, this floor's much harder than the one around the dome, so I can't punch through," he explained.

"I guess we'll just have to sneak down. You can tell if we're on the same floor, right?" asked Kirby.

"Yeah, I can."

The two opened the blue-bubble door out of the room and found themselves in a surprisingly bright hallway. There was a group of Space Pirates down the hall, but they managed to sneak into the elevator before they noticed. They used the elevator to go down several floors before Knuckles had them stop. As soon as the doors opened, two Space Pirates came in, stopped once they saw the two, and started firing. Thankfully, they seemed to be low-ranked pirates and went down in a hit each. They went down the hallway and eventually came to a door sealed with a missile shield. "The ring's behind here." Knuckles winded up his arm, and swung his fist into the door, cracking the shield in several places but not quite breaking it. He did it again, and the door turned into a normal blue-bubble door as the shield fell off. The two went inside. "This room is pretty big," Knuckles commented as he looked around, and among several boxes was the Special Ring, floating in the air. "Now that we have the ring, we should head back to the warpstar. With the Space Pirates realizing that there's no one near the crash site, they'll be searching elsewhere for us, so we'll just have to deal with a few guards instead of the entire base." As Knuckles picked up the ring, the door opened up again.

Knuckles and Kirby turned to see someone run into the room panting. It was a red stick figure with what seemed to be a pair of broadswords on his back that were drawn just as simply as he was. He didn't look like Mr. Game and Watch, but was the type one would draw when rushing an English project requiring drawings, though the lines were much thicker. The circle forming his head went in a bit at the top, forming a hair-like strand at that pointed to the figure's left. The head was completely transparent, except for the outline and a curved line forming the mouth—he was missing every other part of the face.

The stick figure stopped two meters from the two and put his hands on his knees, continuing his panting. "Sorry I'm late, I was supposed to be waiting for you here but something came up."

Kirby and Knuckles looked at him for a few seconds. "Uh… is this some kind of Space Pirate experiment or something?" Knuckles asked.

"Maybe this is some project to create a clone of King Game and Watch or something?" Kirby responded. "But he looks way too simple to pass for him."

The stick figure responded, "Well, you can blame my simplicity on my creators! My name is Todd, but you can call me Zod, as in 'Kneel before Zod', and I'm here to kick your… uh… cod, bod, mod, rod—ROD! I'm here to kick your rod!"

"…Jeez, is this the best the Space Pirates here can do?" asked Kirby.

"Hey! Don't you dare talk behind my back right in front of me! I'm a lot stronger than I look! Of the three RPers Todd, Pod, and Mod, I am the ATK, DEF, and SPD master! Fear my might!" Todd pulled out his two broadswords.

"Wait, so there are three of you?"

"Oh, yeah, uh, Claude—err, Pod is the master of MATK, MDEF, and some other thing, and Mod… Mod… crap, what did he do? … Oh, whatever, anyway, due to the way I was made, I'm restricted to turn based attacks. Since you, echidna, have a higher SPD that me, you have to attack first. Then I'll attack, then the puffball will attack."

**Battle… BEGIN**

"**Chrono Trigger Lavos' First Form Battle Theme"**

Knuckles blinked. "The music seems… absolutely nothing like the actual situation. So, you're letting me attack first? Uh, sure, whatever." Knuckles ran towards the stick figure so fast that he seemed to teleport and slammed his fist into his nonexistent face, sending him flying into the wall, creating a small crater and a large dust cloud. "Well, that was easy enough," the echidna said as he dusted off his gloves.

"Nice punch," spoke a voice from the dust cloud. Todd walked out of it, surprisingly unharmed, though the outline of his head seemed a little crooked. Knuckles had a look of surprise on his face. "I better make sure to avoid that next time. Now it's time for me to attack."

The stick figure pulled out his swords, bent down, and placed the hilts against his forehead so that they pointed forward. "Bull in China Shop!" he yelled as he charged towards Knuckles at a moderate pace, letting out a high-pitched, "Eeeeeeeeee!" sound as he ran. As soon as he came close enough, Knuckles punched him in the gut, knocked him onto his back and sending him to his starting position. He got up again. "Ah, I see you realized that this combat system allows for counterattacks, so I won't have to explain that."

"Look, we're kind of busy here, and we'd prefer not to hurt you," explained Kirby.

"Ah, you think I'm some kind of joke, huh!" Todd yelled.

"Well… yeah, pretty much."

"Well let's see YOU try to attack me, Jacko!"

"… Jacko?" Kirby raised an eyebrow. Shrugging, he strolled right up to Todd and sucked him up. He ate him, turning into Sword Kirby, and Todd came out behind him. Kirby then walked back to Knuckles.

"That… was disgusting," Todd commented. "Anyway, can you attack already, echidna?"

The emerald guardian cracked his knuckles and ran towards the stick figure with a burst of speed. He jabbed his fist towards the figure's head, only for Todd to dodge to the left and quickly spun around behind Knuckles. He drew his sword and quickly thrust it forward, though Knuckles had quickly jumped out of the way. "Sod-M-E!" Todd yelled as he attacked.

"What the hell! Were you aiming for my ass or something!" Knuckles exclaimed as he landed near Kirby.

"Actually, yes I was," exclaimed Todd. "Though now that I think about it, do you even have one?"

"What kind of sick freak are you!"

"Anyway, it's my turn to attack! You see, while my overall speed is much lower than yours, echidna, and just a bit higher than yours, puffball, when attacking, I can travel using brief bursts of speed roughly equal to your top speed, echidna. In other words, from this standing position, I can instantly go at a speed that would take precious seconds for you to build up. For example…"

Todd dashed with a burst of speed and fully stopped in front of Kirby with his swords drawn above his head, to his surprise. "Ugh Lee!" he yelled as he thrust the hilts of his swords forward, and returned the swords the their previous position. "Disarming Lee!" he yelled as he swung his swords down and out. "Dislegging Lee!" he yelled as swung his swords in, making a slice parallel to the ground. "Form the Love Triangle!" The places where he sliced glowed, forming a triangle. The triangle then shot forward, cutting deep into the wall. He looked down to see that none of the attacks connected. "Well crap, you just HAD to duck, didn't you. That was a four-hit attack! All those Tech Points for nothing!" Todd then jumped back to his original position.

"What! Since when could you do that!" Knuckles said in shock

"Since always. I bet that Bull in China Shop thing threw you off, didn't it?" Todd responded. "Yeah, it does that to people. It's by far my weakest attack."

Kirby looked behind him. "Jeez, if that attack connected, I would have been done for. He's more of a threat than we thought."

"Nice to see you realize that. Now if you can be good little heroes and stay still, I'll kill you nice and quick." Todd snapped his fingers. "Oh, wait, that's right, it's the puffball's turn to attack. Look, can you and the echidna do me a favor and just defend on your turns so I can just kill you both in one attack?"

"Yeah right! Like an attack like that would scare us!" Kirby exclaimed. He turned to the emerald guardian. "Knuckles, let's attack him together!" Kirby then whispered a plan to him.

"Jeez, you guys just won't make it easy for me, will you? You know how annoying it is to fight turn-based when no one else does? Can't you cut me a break?" Todd requested as he scratched his head. "But then again, now that I think about it, this would count as a team attack, which would count as both of you using your turns, so go right ahead, I guess."

Knuckles grabbed Kirby and threw him at the stick man, who jumped out of the way. However, as Kirby passed by him, he quickly pulled out the sword he previously copied and by swinging it, shot a wave of energy at Todd—the sword beam. In the air, Todd used one of his swords to block it, when Knuckles came gliding in above him and dived towards him with his body twirling rapidly—the drill dive. At this point, the sword beam had dispersed, so Todd used both his swords to block the echidna's attack, though he was still forced back onto the ground. Todd was slowly being pushed back by the drill dive when Kirby came up behind him with his sword drawn. Right before the Sword Kirby's blade made contact with his twiggy body, there was a clank—Todd used his left sword to block the attack and was holding off the drill dive with only one sword! Within a second, Todd withdrew his swords and quickly jumped back, making Knuckles crash right into Kirby! The attack sent Kirby skidding a few feet, though due to his nature he didn't get any serious wounds from the attack and managed to get back up.

"You know, that drill thing reminds me. You know how I earlier said Bull in China Shop was my weakest attack?" asked Todd as he jumped back away from the two. "Well what I meant was _that form_ of the attack was my weakest. Here's its normal level." Todd placed his swords on his forehead. "BICS… Deluxe!"

While spinning like a drill, Todd launched himself towards the two with astonishing speed—they barely had enough time to jump out of the way. "Holy!" Knuckles exclaimed. Todd flew towards the wall, but instead of crashing into it, he instead wall jumped off it and launched himself back towards Knuckles. The red echidna took a stance, and at the right moment, let loose a powerful punch with his fist engulfed in flame. It collided with the spinning twin blades and after a few seconds of the attacks fighting back and forth, there was an explosion and both were sent back several feet, skidding to a stop. Knuckles looked down to see his glove torn up and his fist bleeding. "Damn, that never happened before. Kirby, do you happen to have any healing items on you?"

"Yeah, I have some mushrooms," Sword Kirby responded as he pulled some out of his mouth and tossed them to Knuckles, who then proceeded to heal with them.

"Kirby, do you think you could suck him up when he does that attack?" Knuckles asked while looking intently at his opponent.

"Unfortunately, no, I don't think so. Not only can't I suck up objects that are too big or heavy, but if they're moving very fast, they'll escape my suction too."

"Anyway guys," Todd interrupted, "Since the puffball used an item on his turn, it's the echidna's turn to attack."

Kirby turned to the echidna. "Knuckles, I just realized! When it's not his turn to attack, he can't do anything but counter, so we can just go right past him with the ring!"

"But I want to kick this guy's ass!" exclaimed Knuckles.

"We need to get out of here before the Space Pirates get back here!"

"Err… I guess you're right." The echidna grabbed the Special Ring. Knuckles and Kirby attempted to run.

As they headed for the bubble door, Todd turned towards them and started dashing towards them. "Sod-M-…" Todd drew his sword and aimed it right for Knuckles' ass. "…-C!" Knuckles just barely got out of the way as the attack; a Sod-M-E powered up by a running jump; flew past him and collided into the wall creating a small crater. "I'm sorry to inform you, but you can't run from boss fights," he said as the dust cleared.

Kirby looked at the crater. "Jeez, that attack would do way more than make you feel awkward…"

"Anyway," Todd continued, "since you used your turn to run, it's my turn to attack." He started spinning one of his swords.

"Quick, while he's preparing, let's attack!" Kirby suggested. Knuckles nodded.

"Oh come on, can't you guys give me a break!" Todd yelled. Water was starting to collect on the spinning blade.

Kirby whispered a plan to Knuckles and he nodded. Kirby removed his sword ability and sucked up Knuckles. The air seemed to be getting drier. Kirby then spat Knuckles at the stick figure.

"Window Washer Strikes Back!" the stick figure announced as he swung his sword and a large cresent-shaped blast of water shot out. It crashed into Knuckles and knocked him into the wall with a big cut on his chest, and the remains of the attack hit Kirby with a much lesser effect.

"Knuckles!" Kirby exclaimed. Knuckles started to get up and got back into fighting position.

"Jeez, this guy's way tougher than I expected," commented the echidna. "I'll have to finish this quick." He took out a ring. "Kirby, eat this."

Realizing what he meant, Kirby ran up to him and ate the ring, turning into Ring Kirby. He then used the ability to spit a bunch of rings into Knuckles' body. Reaching into an invisible pocket, Knuckles pulled out the red Chaos Emerald. "Take this! Thunder Arrow!" he exclaimed.

A thunder bolt appeared out of nowhere and struck where Todd was, though he managed to get out of the way, tripping over his own feet and falling flat on his face. He got up again. "Crap! Crap! What the hell! Mod never said anything about you knowing magic!"

Kirby had a face of realization. "I see! You said you were master of ATK, or attack power; DEF, or defense; and SPD, or speed: but you never said anything about magic attack or defense!"

"Yeah, that's right. My MATK is 0, and my MDEF is literally in the negatives," revealed the stick figure. "All it takes is one good offensive spell and I'm out cold… wait, crap, did I just say that!"

Knuckles grinned. "So in other words, if you don't give up now, we'll use you for firewood!"

"Now hold on, that last attack caught me by surprise, and even then it didn't connect. Now that I know about it, what makes you think you'll even land a—"

"Thunder Arrow!"

Todd fell over again, just barely dodging the attack. "Dammit, I was trying to act badass! Can't you let me finish!"

Kirby removed his ability. "You should have enough rings now. Let me copy you," he said to Knuckles.

"Uh, sure…" he responded. Kirby absorbed Knuckles and spat him back out. Kirby had turned red and gained both dreadlocks and large white, pointed, gloves: he had turned into Knuckles Kirby.

Knuckles lifted up his Chaos Emerald again. "Thunder Arrow!"

However, this time Todd managed to dodge it without looking like a clumsy fool. "My turn! BICS Deluxe!" Todd charged towards the two, and Kirby took a stance like Knuckles had before. As the drill flew towards him, however, Kirby had quickly dodged to the left and slammed his fist into the stick figure's side, bypassing the blades. Todd crashed into the opposing wall, sending up a cloud of dust.

"Now Knuckles!" ordered Kirby.

He held up the red emerald. "Thunder—ugh," he said as he started kneeling over. "Crap, I shouldn't have been wielding unfocused chaos energy with this chest wound. The emeralds energy only becomes focused when all seven are together."

"Knuckles!" Kirby then ran over to him.

"Okay, that's the second good hit you got in!" Todd exclaimed as he walked out of the cloud. Now, not only was his head dented in a bit, but his stick body was slightly bent too. "I can't lose to you guys! I'M THE HOTBLOODED HERO! And I'll prove it to you!" He placed his blades on his forehead and wind started circling around him. "I'm going to go to the next level of attacks! This isn't enough of a leap for hotblooded screaming, but this situation doesn't call for that." The wind formed into a mini-tornado. "BICS… Special Blend!"

Before he could even move, however, the building started to violently shake, and the tornado around him dispersed. "What the hell?" the stick figure asked as he looked around. "Are all the Space Pirates stampeding here or something? It isn't Moandtalvyx Monday in the cafeteria is it? … Wait, crap, it is!"

At point, there were several sounds of explosions and the three just stood there listening. After several minutes, there was an explosion in the room itself and a black space ship, a Space Pirate fighter jet, crashed into it—coincidently, right into Todd. At his point, Knuckles got up again.

"Are you okay now?" the puffball asked.

"Yeah, I am," he responded.

"Then quick, let's leave while he's down!" suggested Kirby. He grabbed the Special Ring and ran out of the room before Knuckles could respond. The echidna shrugged and followed after him.

A message popped up declaring the end of the match: "KNUCKLES AND KIRBY RAN AWAY SUCCESSFULLY".

As they ran through the base, they found that there weren't any troops inside. "All of them must be handling whatever caused those explosions," suggested Kirby.

They eventually came outside and saw what was causing the brouhaha—several Space Pirate fighter jets were having an aerial battle with three ships, who were launching bombs randomly into the buildings, though they mainly focused on the one Kirby and Knuckles were in. "Is that Team Star Wolf?" the egg-laying mammal asked. "Who would have thought they'd end up here of all places?"

"Either way, this is a great distraction," Kirby noted. "We can just get the warpstar and leave under cover of this fight."

R-

They ran a bit and encountered Wario. As it turns out, Wario paid Star Wolf more money than their former employer did, so they are working for him now. Wario saves them and once they leave the Space Pirates' range, Knuckles and Kirby enter the Special Stage, which is based off of the Special Stages from Sonic 3 & Knuckles. Once they exit, however, Wario and Star Wolf force them to give them the two emeralds. Grudgingly, Knuckles complies. On the warpstar Kirby drops Knuckles off on Angel Island, and Kirby returns to Dreamland. Knuckles meets with Sonic and Tails, and they decided to report the RPers' existence.

Meanwhile, Todd meets with Pod and Mod and reports his failure, explaining that a jet fell on him. Pod calls him an idiot. THE END.

-R

-I

-I

NEXT TIME ON CAPTAIN N: 2005!

"Instrumental Version Of Captain N 2005 Theme Song" 

"It's a desperate situation as the Space Pirates discover the location of the Map Cartridge, and Mega Man, Pit, Julius Belmont, and me are sent to handle the situation. The problem is: we're captured as soon as we get there! Now in order to prevent the Map Cartridge from going into the Space Pirates' hands, we must break out of prison. The biggest problem is, however, not only are we guarded by Space Pirates, but they have also gained several more allies."

"Be sure to read/watch Captain N Level 7: Summer Jailbreak and Eggplant Springs"

"Because more people need to read Shakespeare. The reason you don't understand it is because you take one look at the writing and don't even try to comprehend it. Or at least that's my theory."


	12. Minichapter 2: The LoGGs Updated

ATTENTION: There's an important note at the end.

Minichapter 2: The LoGGs and the Man With the Moon Laser

Jon was having a peaceful night's rest, when he noticed that his bed sheets were on fire. He awoke with a start, screamed, and quickly put out the fire by smothering it.

"Oh, sorry, my fault," said Toad as he walked by the charred bed and picked up a small object. "I put out my cigarette on your bed sheets, which probably wasn't a good idea."

"Toad, what the ---- are you doing in my room!"

"Strange, you don't usually swear at me."

"Well you don't usually set my sheets on fire. So again, what are you doing in my room?"

"Well, I finally decided to tell you what the difference is between your old GBA and your new DS."

"Well, that's nice and all, but couldn't you wait until morning?"

"Well I could have, but would you have really wanted me?"

"Well, yeah."

"Anyway, the touch-screen." Toad stopped speaking.

"…"

"…"

"… Well, what about the touch-screen?"

"That's the only difference. Well, that and the other screen."

"That's it?"

"That's it."

"Are you kidding me?"

"Nope. Anyway, feel free to go back to sleep," Toad responded as he walked to the door and opened it. When he left, Jon fell back asleep, only to be awaken a few minutes later by a loud "KICKFIRSTMAN! (FIRSTMAN!) (FIRSTMAN!) (Firstman!)"

Jon rose up to see the mushroom man at the other said of the room with the TV remote. The television itself was on, at max volume, with the opening credits of "First Strike Warrior Kickfirstman!" playing in the background. "Toad, what the hell!"

"I couldn't sleep," responded the fungus.

"Don't you have your own room?"

"Yeah, I do. What's your point."

"… With your own TV?"

"Yes, what are you getting at?"

"… Oh, whatever, you're hopeless. Can't you at least turn it down?"

"No can do, Jon. No can do… ah, crap, this episode's just a rerun."

"Good, so can you l—"

"Next show!" the mushroom declared as he changed the channel. "It's The Ultra-Team! You have to watch it!"

"Okay, fine, whatever. I can't seem to fall back asleep anyway."

" Okay, let me explain. This guy is named Army. He has the ability to remotely control military weapons with his mind, but he hates killing. However, he knows it must be done, and sheds a tear every time he fires."

"He sheds a tear every time he fires?"

"Yup, watch."

Jon watched the show, which at that point featured Army firing a machine gun on a huge mecha into a group of zombies. He was shedding a tear for every bullet fired, and was bawling as a result.

Jon paused, and then commented, "This... looks like it would get old. Fast."

"Trust me, it never get old seeing a big tough guy like that shed a tear. In fact… I think I'm going to cry right now! Or not. Anyway, this next guy is awesome! He is Bullet Bob, a robot that has two modes: an android, and a huge Bullet Bill Bob-Omb Fusion! He can crash right into enemies and blow up without harming himself. Though of course, he can do this in android form too!"

On the show, Army fired Bullet Bob out of a cannon in his weapon form (while shedding a single tear), but while he was in the air, Bob turned into his humanoid form and went into elbow-drop position as he fell into an army of zombies with a huge explosion.

"Next up is Seppukumaru! He performs seppuku on other people!"

"But... isn't seppuku suicide? How can you do that to other people?"

"He's just that awesome! Especially now that he has activated Super Saiyan Gear Curse Seal Level 5 Bankai! Anyway, there's a bunch of other guys, but they don't appear in this episode."

"Seems... interesting. Anyway, I'm thinking of going to the Earthbound world soon. Do you know any good places to go to?" Jon asked.

"Nope, no idea. It's permalocked."

"Permalocked?"

"Jeez, don't tell me you don't know that either! The entire brain surgery ordeal and the following conversation with me were supposed to be the end of the exposition. The readers are getting bored. Though of course, that's assuming that we had consistent readers in the first place. After all, have you seen how many hits this story's been getting? It's not pretty. And the failure of the previous chapter probably doesn't help things."

"You're on crack again, aren't you?"

"Bah, I don't need crack to act this way! Anyway, some regions, like the Earthbound world or the Final Fantasy worlds for example, or RPG worlds in general, are far more powerful than the others, with their planet destroying spells and all. For this reason, other than for special events, Master Hand permanently locks these regions. Some non-RPG worlds are locked too, like the Mega Man X world."

"What? Why Mega Man X?"

"You saw how powerful the normal Mega Man is. Now imagine that times ten, and apply that to every combat reploid."

"Oh… alright, I understand."

A few minutes later, the screen fizzed and eventually turned to static. Toad started hitting the TV, until a figure appeared on it, though still covered in static. A figure dressed in red and gray.

"Oh, are you kidding me!" Jon exclaimed.

"HEY! DUDE!" yelled the figure on the screen, with an odd echoing effect. "DUDE! CAN YOU HEAR ME!"

"Yeah, I can hear you," Jon replied. "Dammit, I thought I'd never have to see them again after that entire Christmas thing."

"I CAN'T! HEAR YOU! TURN TO THE WINDOW!"

"What? Red, don't tell him that! He can't _cognize_ where we are!" said another voice.

"SHUT UP GREEN! THERE'S NO! OTHER WAY FOR ME TO HEAR HIM!"

"You mean besides turning up the microphone?"

"SHUT UP GREEN! I'LL DO WHAT I WANT!" There was a pause. "OKAY, JUST TALK TO THE SCREEN, DUDE!"

"Oh for the love of… Yes, I can hear you," Jon responded as he shook his head. He thought the Axem Rangers were kind of cool in Super Mario RPG, but in reality, they were just… really lame.

"OKAY! NOW CO--! I MEAN! CAN YOU PLEASE COME TO VIRTUATOWN IN FRONT OF THIS ONE BIG BUILDING! THOUGH NOT AS BIG AS MY MUSCLES!"

"But you're right outside," Jon said as he pointed out the window.

"UH! NO WE'RE NOT!"

"Dude, I'm looking at you right now. You're in this stupid-looking white truck just outside the security systems with Black in the front seat."

"HEY! DON'T DISS THE ACCENT TRUCK!"

"Axem Truck, Red," corrected Green.

"ANYWAY! MEE! I MEAN COULD YOU PLEASE MEET US AT VIRTUATOWN AT 6 PM! NOW GIVE US A 'YO YO YO SHIIII'!"

"… No."

"OH COME ON! BLACK! JOIN IN TOO! YO YO YO SHIIII!"

Axem Black indeed joined in. "Yo yo yo shiiii!"

"COME ON! YO YO YO SHIIII!"

Jon was getting annoyed. "Okay, fine. Yo yo yo shi."

"NO! YOU GOTTA--! I MEAN PLEASE DO IT LOUDER! YO YO YO SHIIII!"

"Oh for the love of… Yo yo yo shiiii."

"YEAH! AWESOME! CATCH YOU LATER!"

The TV returned to normal and Ultra-Team continued like usual.

Toad decided to speak up. "What's all this then? You know a team of dangerous wanted criminals? Or even are friendly with?"

"Toad, what are you talking about?" asked Jon. "You were right there during the entire Ally Medal situation. Remember, the medals made them our allies, or so they claim, and they warped away before we could arrest them."

"Since when was I there?"

"Remember, you appeared out of nowhere to explain that I shouldn't steal when time is frozen? I assumed you stuck around afterwards."

"Well you presumed wrong."

"Either way, you were there when I explained it to King Game and Watch."

"o rly?"

"ya rly."

"no wai!"

"ya wai."

"I don't believe it!"

"Habeeb it."

"TWINKIE HOUSE!" Toad yelled as he jumped up and punched Jon, distorting his face in a true 'Twinkie House' fashion… though strangely enough it didn't hurt that much at all and Jon recovered immediately afterwards.

"You're hopeless. Anyway, Red was acting oddly polite during that message. I suspect it's so that he doesn't activate the Ally Medal's hypnotizing effect, which implies that the rangers are going to use it when I get there. Thus, I should just ignore him."

At that point, Red's image reappeared on the screen. "WELL! GREEN JUST TOLD ME TO USE THE ALLY MEDALS HERE AND NOW! YOU ARE TO LISTEN TO EVERYTHING I HAVE TO SAY AND YOU WILL SYMPATHIZE WITH OUR! PLIGHT!"

"Well crap," Jon said as he got an irresistible urge to listen to what they had to say.

"Well, first, let me explain how the badges work," Green said as he appeared. "These badges are ancient artifacts used by the late Segata Sanshiro. They aren't very _stalwart_, so you can't order people to kill themselves or anything. I'd just like to note that you, Jon, are the only person to have kept the Ally Medal after it was given to you—everyone else _anon_ threw his away."

"You don't have to rub it in."

"SHUT UP GREEN! JON HERE IS MY HOMIE G-DAWG! AIN'T THAT RIGHT BLACK!"

"PIMP-Yeah!" exclaimed the not-so-black Black from off-screen.

"ANYWAY! THERE'S THIS GUY, AND THEY'RE ALL LIKE 'WE'LL KICK YOUR ASS' AND!"

'Red, you better let me handle this," Green stated as he knocked Red out of the way. "Anyway, we are currently being attacked by a team of superheroes known as the League of Good Guys, and we need your _succor_ in defeating them."

"League of Good Guys? Oh, yeah, right, I've heard of them. Didn't they deal with a treat from a man on the moon a few months ago?"

"They still are."

"Wait… they're STILL dealing with that man on the moon? Isn't he just a normal guy with a laser?"

"Indeed he is."

"Well couldn't you just use your megazord and smash them or whatever?"

"HEY! SHUT UP!" Red exclaimed.

"Well, I, unfortunately, sympathize with your plight and I will help you."

"GREAT! MEET US AT VIRTUATOWN LIKE I ASKED EARLIER! JUST LOOK FOR THE GUY WITH BIG MUSCLES! THAT WOULD BE ME!" The television returned to normal.

-I

-I

Later that day, in front of a Hall of Justice style building…

"Well, I'm here," said Jon as he walked up to the Axem Rangers.

"Great, let me explain who the members are. They are all inside and are anticipating us," Green started.

He was interrupted however, by Yellow. "Boy, I hope we finish this in time for dinner! I'm really hungry!"

"Huh… it looks like Yellow's back to his game personality," Jon commented.

"Game personality? You mean when we first faced Mario? Well, Yellow changes his personality every day. It was only a coincidence that he _comported_ the same when he first met you and last Christmas."

"That's… weird. Also, I notice that Blue isn't around anymore."

"He died from blood loss, specifically from slitting his wrists."

"… I see…"

"Anyway," Green continued, "I'll talk about our opponents. The League of Good Guys is made up of Darth Spider-Man, The Mexican, Re Puhr, the Cuddly Cute Communist, Johnstantine the Answer, Dr. Drive, and last and certainly least, Comic Relief Guy. Until a while ago, there was Dr. Fro instead of Dr. Drive, but we already killed him. He was the creator of those robot Red and Black we faced during Christmas, if you remember."

"… Are you sure you need my help with these guys?"

"Like… uh…." Pink started.

"WHAT PINK IS TRYING TO! SAY IS! HELL YEAH! NOW LET'S GO!" Red finished as he ran into the building. He was soon followed by the other rangers, and finally by Jon.

As they ran down the hallway, they encountered two people—a red teddy bear and a man with a rather large stethoscope.

"Those are our _aboriginal_ foes," explained Green. "The Cuddly Cute Communist, and Dr. Drive."

The teddy bear started speaking. "Hahaha! Silly capitalists! You should know that… yawn… you know what, I'm not feeling really enthusiastic today. Drive, you handle this."

The other person spoke. "Dammit, C, I'm a doctor, not a warrior." After that, he walked away. Jon walked up to the teddy bear and kicked it over.

They continued running down the hallway and encountered another person.

"There's our next obstacle—Comic Relief Guy!"

The CRG spoke. "Hey guys! I just flew in, and BOY are my arms tired!"

There was no response.

Then, there was a farting sound. "Oops! I farted again!"

There was no response.

"Hey, don't you guys—holy crap, is that an axe! And a gun! And an axe, and a gun, and an axe and a gun and an axe and a gun andanaxeandagunandan WOOHOOHOOHOEY!" he yelled as he ran away.

"WELL! THAT'S THREE DOWN! GREAT JOB EVERYONE!" yelled Red.

They continued running down the hallway and encountered another person, one in a trench coat with no face.

"There's our main obstacle," explained Green. "That's Johnstanteen the Answer—the conspiracy freak of the group, and he also knows magic."

The Answer spoke. "That's Johnstantine, not Johnstanteen. Hmm… you're that Game Master, aren't you? People say you come from the Real World and are capable of freezing time. How ridiculous! I refuse to believe you exist!" The Answer then walked away.

"WOAH! HE WAS REALLY COOL!" exclaimed Red.

"Dayum! N-----homie's one hella badass!" said Black in a pathetically faked slang.

They continued running down the hallway and encountered another person.

"What? Is that the Dell Dude!" commented Jon. The person looked just like him.

"No, that's The Mexican. He's very dangerous, so we have to be _chary_," Green revealed.

"What! He doesn't look Mexican at all!"

"Dude, I am gonna el kicko you ass!" said The Mexican in a stereotypical surfer voice. "I'm gonna get a bunch of amigos and perras over and we're gonna el roasto your los buttos!"

"SEE! HE'S MEXICAN! HE'S SPEAKING SPANISH RIGHT NOW!" pointed out Red.

"It really is amazing how similar Spanish and English are," lamented Yellow.

"Are you guys idiots! That's not Spanish! That's not even Spanglish!"

The Mexican started speaking again. "Hey dude! You better el shut upo before I busto un of tu zits!"

Jon cracked his knuckles. "Well, I suppose I better take a cue from another time-stopper." He ran up to The Mexican and started punching very quickly, a feat he is capable of due to enhanced physical attributes from being in Videoland. "MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA!" The Mexican was unconscious with the first hit, unknown to everyone else, and fell over once the attack ended. It wasn't enough to hurt even a below-average fighter that badly, but it could beat up a weak human pretty well. "Now if only I had knives and a steamroller…"

They continued running down the hallway and encountered another person.

"What! Him again!" Jon exclaimed. It was Comic Relief Guy.

"Oh no! It's you guys again! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" CRG didn't move.

"… Look, can you—"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"… Are you done y—"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"WOAH! THAT SOUNDS LIKE FUN!" Red shouted. He joined in the screaming, until Comic Relief Guy ran away again. "AWW!"

They continued running down the hallway.

"Look, are we actually going to fight anyone?" asked Jon.

"It looks like you'll get your chance, dawg!" Black said as he pointed ahead. There stood Comic Relief Guy with a sword.

"I won't run away… I WOOOOOOOOOOOON'T!" he screeched as he charged toward Jon with the blade above his head. Jon shot him and that was the end of it.

"Okay, I have another complaint to make—aren't you guys going to do anything?" Jon said to the Axem Rangers.

"WHEN THE TIME COMES!" Red explained.

The continued down the hallway, until they met a dark menacing figure.

"Duel of the Fates, from Star Wars" 

There was a man in a black Spider-Man costume with a raggedy cape. He pulled out a lightsaber-like object, except there was a sphere at the time. A red light-blade came out of one end, and one out of the opposing end.

Jon was annoyed. "Oh come on, now that's just chees—"

A third blade came out of another part of the sphere.

"Wha!"

A fourth blade came out of another section, a fifth, a sixth, and so on. However, after a while…

Darth Spider-Man felt something. "Huh! My spider-sense! But why's it coming out of my li—" The final light-blade came of the last section, going straight through his skull. He then fell over dead.

End "Duel of the Fates" 

"AWESOME! THERE'S ONLY ONE MEMBER LEFT!"

They continued running down the hallway, until they came across a room with several television screens—one of which was focused on the moon. In the middle of the room was a giant version of the pokémon, tangela, which is basically a group of purple tentacles surrounding eyes with shoe-like feet at the bottom.

"Huh? I guess I'm up. I'm Re Puhr, and I guess I'm the last member," he said as he walked towards the group with his tentacles waving.

"Ah! You're not going to… like… uh…. uh… something me with those tentacles, are you?" Pink asked.

Re Puhr stopped in his tracks. "No… I'm not that kind of person… I'M NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT! The prejudice against tentacle monsters is what got me outcasted from the other pokémon kings. Every pokémon has a king, typically not only the largest and strongest one, but also the smartest. I became tangela king, and all was going well… until that one day. One day, long ago, I came across a woman who had her purse stolen. I defeated the thieves and was bringing the purse back to her, when she screamed, thinking I was just like all the horny tentacle monsters you see on TV. I was arrested and stripped of my title. I was homeless for a long time, and no one would give me a job—afterall, how many tangelas do you see effectively communicating with people. Eventually, I found a home here… they were the ones who… sniff… took… me… in…" With that, Re Puhr ran away crying.

"ALRIGHT! MISSION COMPLETE!" Red concluded.

"What? That's it? That's what you needed me for!" Jon asked.

"YUP! NOW YOU'RE FREE TO GO!"

Suddenly, one of the screens turned on, showing a man on the moon with a destructive laser. "Hey, it's me, the Man on the Moon With the Laser! So did you burn those discs for m—hey, who are you guys! You're different heroes, aren't you! If you don't listen to my demands, I'll destroy a building with this laser here!"

"Moon?" Jon asked. "How can there be a moon here when—oh yeah, that's right, Toad told me this earlier. The moon holds all the newer, yet basic game worlds, like Cellphoneland, and the others."

"Hey! Don't ignore me!" yelled the Man With the Moon Laser.

"Well, I still feel sympathetic to this cause, so I'll leave you guys alone," Jon said as he walked out.

As he walked back to the castle, he encountered Link. "Game Master, I haven't seen you in a while!"

Suddenly, a laser beam fired down from the moon towards Link. It reflected off his Mirror Shield and bounced back towards the attacker, blowing up the machine. The Man With the Moon Laser died in the explosion.

"Huh? What was that?" asked Link.

"What are you talking about?" asked Jon.

"… Oh, nothing."

Believe it or not, this was going to be a full chapter for the longest time. Don't you feel lucky?

-I

-I

Well, I've reached a conclusion. I'm not going to continue this story.

Or this version of the story at least. I'm planning on starting over from the beginning. This isn't going to be a simple rewrite like before, this will involve completely new stories and situations. The reason behind this is that I made things way too complicated for my own good--the entire connection between Videoland and the Real World, the timeframe in which the series takes place, the constantly changing game worlds, etc. Not only that, but I'm constantly changing what Jon is capable of, and I'm sure all of you can tell that I was originally planning for a consistant N-Team but scrapped that idea at the last minute.

Some major changes:

-Jon's abilities will be Wii based instead of Gamecube+E-reader based. He will also have the DS from the start.

-Less "silly" plots. It will still be mostly lighthearted and will have comedic situations, but there won't be any plots like Ch. 3 with its random mech battles. Expect stuff more along the lines of Ch. 4.

-A much less complicated world.

-None of the "levels" in this version of the story will be in the new story

There will most likely be plenty more, but these are the ones I have decided on as of now.

Since you won't feel like you missed out, here's a summary of what would have happened in Ch. 7:

-Jon, Mega Man, Pit, and Julius Belmont (from the "Dawn of..." Castlevania games) get captured by Space Pirates and are held on a flying prison. This team is a homage to the original N-Team.

-Jon escapes and manages to rescue Pit. The others escape on their own. In order to release everyone else, get out, and destroy the ship, they have to deal with a bunch of guards. The guards included Space Pirates, badniks, "Super Magikoopas", Zoda from StarTropics, Kid Icarus bosses, and the Dark Queen from the Battletoads game. This list was subject to change.

-As it turns out, the Star Rod is being held on the ship. After looking at the code the Pirates used to conclude that they needed to steal it in the first place, Jon points out that the code is actually referring to the Star Rod from Paper Marion. Dumbfounded, the Pirates abandon the Kirby Star Rod, which Jon takes with him.

-They beat everyone, rescue everyone, and destroy the prison.

Here's what I had written before I made this decision.

Jon was walked down the hallway by two of the Space Pirates. While restrained, there was no way for him to fight back, so for now all he could do was comply. As they continued on, the Game Master eventually tripped an fall, resulting in the accompanying pirates kicking him while speaking their native language—from his translator headphones, he interpreted it as "Get up, b," among other things. With his hands behind his back and the kicks, it took a bit of time, but he managed to get back up and they continued on, though he was a bit sore.

At that point, he thought up a plan—it was a long shot, but he wasn't any worse off if it failed. A few minutes later, Jon fell over again, this time intentionally. The guards once again started kicking him, though this time they were poking him with their guns in addition. As luck would have it, one of the Space Pirates kicked exactly what he wanted them to kick. There was a light ticking sound, and after a few seconds, everything froze in place.

Jon got up and started running towards the place they were taking him—it was a series of cramped force-field cages, each one filled with captive Centurians—Pit's race—but he couldn't find any of his teammates. Jon concluded that they must be in another section, but he realized that before he could do anything to save them, he would have to get out of the cuffs, and he couldn't stay with time frozen forever. After looking around for a bit, he came across a bathroom without any security cameras in it. There were some pirates in it, but he concluded that he would be safe enough if he hid in a stall and locked it—even if someone tried to get in, he could pause again.

By pressing the START button against the lever, time unfroze, and then he proceeded to lock the stall with his nose. He pulled the toilet's lid down and sat on it when he realized something. "Wait, the Space Pirates use energy fields and stuff for the cages, and I haven't seen what my cuffs look like, so maybe these handcuffs use a force field as well. And to do something like that, it would have to be computerized! Maybe I can jack into it with my GBA—err, DS!"

Unfortunately, that proved to be easier said than done. First, he had to rub his leg against the toilet lid to get the system out of his pocket, which thankfully fell onto the lid with little noise. Then he had to open it up with his mouth. And finally, he had to press the START button on the DS with his glasses. Once he did, however, he saw the jack-in sequence from the Mega Man Battle Network anime and found himself in a new area, sans handcuffs.

Like he suspected, the handcuffs were computerized and had their own network.

Anyway, if there are any other changes you would like me to make, please say them now.

... Anyone?


End file.
